I could never figure out why this girl ghosted me but now found a possible reason?

[Anonymous]

it was really weird i had meet her at a restaurant where she worked and we got along great all summer then she disappeared with a few weeks remaining at her job and never even said bye and haven't even spoke to her since

was several different theories as to what happened , maybe she got sick or had something else to do. or maybe she though i liked one of the other girls she worked with as i talked to some other girls who worked there too.

but was looking through some instagram pages and came across something i wasn't aware of , it turns out i had encountered a younger girl who was the sister of one of her girlfriend's late that summer. i wasn't aware she was related to the other girl , she had worked briefly as a host at a nearby place and honestly had really big boobs and didn't seem to mind that i noticed , but i only saw her there once or twice and never though much of it until now but i do remember her older sister giving me a really dirty look one night at bar and would make sense that she told her friend about it that i had checked out her sister

so might explain why she got so upset at me although doesn't help me determine if the other girl would ever be friends with me again , to me doesn't seem like a huge deal , so i looked at her girlfriend's younger sisters boobs one night but maybe to a girl she would of found that upsetting i'm not really sure all i know is she ghosted me over something

[Dragonstarterplus]

...

Dude

Dude

Not like this man. Not like this

[Asker]

its tough to explain everything all i know is we got along great then she disappeared , maybe this other girl is the reason

[Dragonstarterplus]

Mang

there's just soo much stuff wrong going on in this question I dont even know where to start

1st you sure you're 36~45 and not 16?

You flirted with a waitress all summer but never saw her when she wasn't working or got her number?

You think a woman leaving her job as a waitress means she's ghosting you, a random customer?

You weren't just flirting with 1 waitress and getting nowhere, you were flirting with multiple waitresses and getting nowhere?

This entire story sounds like something I read on her months ago. Why are you even wasting more of your time wondering why a waitress left her job without telling you, a random customer, who she never saw outside of work where she was going?

Stop

[Asker]

it wasn't random she always remembered my name , if she saw me there would say hi to me , it was like we had this connection , it definitly wasn't random , true i'd sometimes see other girls who worked as waitresses at places downtown but she was special

i had wanted to ask for her # but that was near end of summer and then she was gone

with covid wasn't much going on here last summer , most festivals and events weren't even running downtown , normally be stuff to do but wasn't , street festivals and concerts downtown were all cancelled so wasn't a lot to suggest outside the restaurant other than like private parties which i never get invited to obviously

we go to the same gym but i wasn't a member last summer when she was around , she's been away at school ,

[Dragonstarterplus]

This is bad

[Asker]

i wouldn't of considered it that unusual for a girl i meet during the summer to disappear for a while come fall , this one was just so weird , it was weird on every level , i realise that its hard to explain to other people our connection , i went there a lot and frequently talked to other girls who worked there too and they didn't seem to understand our friendship either which was maybe why i didn't feel comfortable talking to them about her after she left

[Anonymous]

She doesn't seem interested mate. So you never went on a real date or got her number or ever even talked to her when she wasn't serving you?

[Asker]

well i had wanted to see her outside the restaurant but last summer was so lame from covid restrictions was never anything to do and the street it was on was tore up for construction all summer. there wasn't anything to do nearby and all the summer events didn't run last year so little to do , normally be street festivals and concerts nearby.

i never saw her outside the restaurant , i had wanted to ask for her # obviously but she never offered anything either and then she disappeared. i felt we have a genuine connection when we talked to each other , i saw her multiple times over the summer there , she always remembered my name and said hi

[Asker]

i've had friendships with other girls who worked at that same restaurant over the years but they usually already have boyfriend's and so there pretty limited to just chatting at bar or having the odd drink. i'd rarely see them anywhere else , used to be a summer party bar they'd go to and sometimes see them there but it hasn't been open last couple summers cause of covid. i don't think she would of talked to me every time if she wasn't at least interested in being friends with me or felt i was an interesting person , she was a host so i wasn't even tipping her directly

[Opinion Owner]

Well of course she remembered your name and said hi, you were the strange guy that always went to her job to flirt with her for 3 months but never asked her out or even got her number. And now here you are half a year later still thinking about this waitress who has most likely forgotten all about you who you never saw when she wasn't serving you thinking y'all were great friends. It's just sad 😢

[Asker]

true but it was just a lame summer , you have to try and understand the context of the summer of 2021 here , even if i had wanted to do something else with her , everything was canceled , sure she went to private parties without me and that annoyed me but she never asked if i wanted to come and all her friends were younger than me anyways. i doubt very much she's forgot about me , i have no idea what i'd say to her if i see her again

[Asker]

maybe my dating life is sad , i often felt some of the girls there might of felt sorry for me. but apparently sympathy doesn't lead to actual dates. the mindset is weird they'd likely only get jealous enough to ever want me if i was with another girl maybe then they'd realise they missed out on a great guy who was just a bit misunderstood

[joe2511]

Have you tried reaching out to her?

[Asker]

i haven't seen her in person seen she disappeared , i have seen girls that she worked with and none of them have ever mentioned her so i didn't bring it up. i don't have her # and never figured out what her email was , my facebook doesn't work anymore so that option out too

[joe2511]

Gotcha, i'd move on then.

[Asker]

its possible she re appears by May though , that when the restaurant re opens the patio for summer and seasonal staff return , not sure if her girlfriend's are returning but likely , obviously have no clue what she's doing though , she had only worked there 1 summer ( 2021 )