Recently, I started dating someone new and we have gotten along very well. We started clicking on all levels, built chemistry and then she asked my body count. I said “only 3” and then she started laughing and said “20.” I then sent her a message the following day about deciding to work on myself and she accused me of being misogynistic and hypocritical “typical guy.” Then called me an “a$$hole.” For obviously rejecting her due to having a high body count.
You are wrong to judge someone based on body count.
You were not in the wrong
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+1 y
Woah why the gender difference
If a girl has a high body count and I reject her entirely that reason alone, is that okay?
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Anonymous
(36-45)
+1 y
The following is important to know when it comes to someone’s sexual history: kids (including abortions), STDs and if they have an aggressive stalker ex.
As for the actual “number” that is more subjective. I never ask for it nor do I appreciate someone asking me the same.
I do have a high number. However when I commit to someone I commit. I have never cheated on a girlfriend once I’m in a committed relationship. It’s about respect
However based on her “misogynistic asshole” response you made the right decision. She sounds typical leftist feminist cunt type. She would likely cheat on you not just out of temptation but for some justified bs reason (she’s “upset” with you or some bullshit). Then she would try to gaslight you in the process. Women like her are usually miserable because they look in the mirror and hold themselves accountable for their own actions.
Now if she would of said “hey I am sad you look at me that way. I was at least honest with you. Yes I admit I’ve gotten around a lot. However when I like someone I stick with them. It’s really too bad you didn’t give me a chance.” Then I would of said you might of made the wrong choice. But her going off on you shows exactly what the problem is. She wants the world to change for her vs. her changing for the world.
@WonderBell99 Exceptions to the rule exist, but the exceptions don't make the rule. Although I think that demand for 6'2" and above goes down in face-to-face interactions as opposed to anything online.
@D_Bone_Steak Actually women will specify height in online profiles. I am fairly tall at (6'4") and I absolutely reject women who specify height no matter that I fit their demand.
I think you need to be careful about who you reject. Because your "body count" will increase as you get older. Now you have 3 when you're 21, but what if you had 10 by the time, you're 45? would you like it if people started rejecting you simply because you have a high body count? should you be rendered as "undatable"?
I think it's a very shallow thing to judge someone off of body count. What if you met the perfect woman who was the right match for you in every way? would you reject her simply because she has a high body count? you're missing out on a lot.
Personally, for me, I don't think people who rate self-worth purely due to "body count" are decent people. It's a very outdated and misogynistic mindset. There's so much more to a person than just body count.
sure nobody likes a community pussy or dick. Its disgusting. But what if you've had 12 partners by the time you're 46? then you're a community dick because you've had 12 owners. So should girls reject you (even if they like you) , just because you have high body count. Should you be rendered worthless in the dating scene?
as you can see, your mentality is very flawed, judgmental and close minded.
in my opinion body count is more a matter of pace than of sum total. Assuming she's in the same 18-24 age group as the original poster here, that's 20 partners over just a few years. in my opinion that is a strong red flag that sexual relationships are a dime a dozen to her; and to someone looking for a deep and lasting relationship, things would very likely end badly for him if he got all invested.
No, you're just making excuses. Nobody cares about "pace" if you licked 20 pussies over your lifetime. One of the biggest reasons why people find "community dicks" so disgusting is the fact that you've had so many germs accumulated from sleeping with so many people.
what is the difference between a prostitute and a man who has slept with 20 women over his lifetime? there is no difference other than the fact that they both have high body count. The older you are, the more likely you are gonna be considered a whore.
The stereotypes and assumptions that you invent about people with high body count are ridiculous. Just because someone has a high body count, it does not mean they are bad lovers. I have seen people with high body counts who are very good lovers. High body count does not determine how good you are as a lover or as a person.
But the reason why people don't like people with high body count is the germs that you've accumulated from all those people that you have kissed or had been intimate with over the years.
@Jouth oh for sure, but it's really only an issue of one is being hypocritical about it, or perpetrating divisive stereotypes based on missinformation.
True but in my opinion you should be the one adding the demand not us removing ours. Unless women treat it as a bad things, players will be encouraged.
@Adam1978 there is nothing wrong with anyone having a high body count, how ever it is very wrong to manipulate and lie to people to coerce them into sex...
That's your opinion, it's simply a judge of character and it will tell you what you can expect. High body count, means you are going to be a number, the higher the quicker you will be history. And the woman will not bond with you. Never think it will be different with you that is self delusional.
@Adam1978 it can be, but having a higher number of past sexual partners isn't synonymous with being a player. A better indicator would be the number of pervious committed romantic relationships.
You guys both make so many good points that are true, but you're coming at this from slightly different perspectives and can't really hear each other and probably never will.
@Subarugirl. Also, a very small percentage of men get to be "players" or fuck boys. Conversely, an average or lower looking female can rack up triple digit body counts quickly.
@KrakenAttackin and according to an article published by Medical News Today, The National Survey of Family Growth, from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) in the United States found that on average men have 6.3 sexual partners where as women have 4.3.
That is statistically impossible. Unless gay men has a drastically higher body count There isn't as big difference of the genders count for that to be true. It only prove that people lies. For each time a man has sex with a woman both numbers goes up. So all it tells is that men lies by increasing the number and women lies to decrease it.
@asker actually I did if you took the time to read. As I said “ it's really only an issue if one is being hypocritical about it, or perpetrating divisive stereotypes based on missinformation.”
@Guy__ actually science is the intellectual and practical activity encompassing the systematic study of the structure and behavior of the physical and natural world through observation and experiment... but its so easy to just cry liar anytime someone presents evidence that doesn't align with your bias isn't it?
Please show me such evidence. FDA was unable to, and still wants to allow manufacturers to reformulate their COVID injections without conducting any additional clinical trials. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BFdzNUus_CE
@Guy__ science is the systematic study of the structure and behavior of the physical and natural world through observation and experiment... you think that is BS? But with out it we'd still be living in the stone age, praying to stones and thinking that illnesses were curses from mystical deities in the sky...
What's wrong with you lol. I just said that it comes from a Latin word which means knowledge. Just searched it up and I was absolutely correct. And I shared a good amount of scientific documents above, I'm not the one saying it's all BS. Although scientism where technicians are paid to lie is BS.
@Subarugirl if you are man it’s easier to be chaste because most women won’t go out their way to date and sleep with you. If you are a woman it’s easier to be a promiscuous because you are usually approached much more often than men are (especially if you are attractive) and men usually make the first move.
So an experienced man is respected as if he’s got something going for him. An inexperienced woman is respected for having self control.
Did you judge on the body count, was she right about that?
On one hand you are not wrong to like what you like and want what you want... and it seems that you had all of that. Then one thing and you pull way and shut her off. Not knowing all the things and conversations and discussion you two had, but obviously she felt comfortable in tell you the truth because she thought you were a special type of guy and on some level with all the chemistry talk you thought highly of her up to a point and then you flipped the script on her.
High body counts don't change who you are. So on some level its not right either. You two could of had a lot fun with each other and who knows where that could of lead... but you rejected her on some fairly arbitrary reasons. I mean when your my age your sexual history will be a little more extensive, and you will think back on this like this and ask yourself why was that an opportunity I missed because I didn't know any better? And maybe you won't, what I do know I thought this way at 20 years old and I missed out an a lot of pussy because of it and I kick myself in the ass sometimes... because I married the wrong person and suffered more for it.
I for one never talk or ask about someone previous history I accept her as the person she is standing in front of me and hope for the best. You learn that some times its better to give people and chance, because from opportunity comes success.
Women with high body counts are used and often damaged goods. If you're just messing around, and want a sexual relationship, this sort of sexual woman is fine.
However, if a man wants a high-quality relationship woman, she is not going to be a freak. She is going to have a very low number if not virgin. She is going to be hard to get, will require serious commitment before anything barely happens.
Women with high counts are lousy lovers. She knows how to play guys. She has a number of guys on the hook to replace you at a moment's notice. Even if married. But the quality is also shows up in her ability to control other aspects of her life. When a woman has a high body count, she is very likely a feminist. Very likely in debt. Has masculine qualities. Overly educated to be an expert on everything. Other high risks activities like smoking, drugs and alcohol. She will likey have tattoos. She has friends who will encourage her to trash any man the group deems a douche bag. Highest for divorce and taking your kids away. It just goes on and on.
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Anonymous
(36-45)
+1 y
You were not wrong. Everyone has preferences. I know women that are between 4'11-5'2 and won't date any man who is not 5'11+
I am a woman but I think other women are too liberated and would sleep with anyone. If you want to be valued wether you are a man or woman, you should keep high standards and to value yourself. I know some women back in uni that share their stories about men they sleep with some of them even have bfs. shameful. I think these types of women need validation to be validated. They can't stand it if they're feeling lonely. They need constant touch and attention. No, I am not an uptight person. I just value my values and my body. These types are the ones that are hard to get married to because they can easily cheat on you if their needs are not met. I am not saying all women are like that but there are those who are like that, sadly.
They say don't ask for body count if you don't want to be disappointed because most of the time the other person will feel upset and for sure won't see the other person the same way again.
Everyone has the right to decide what they want in a partner, just realize that the more selective you become the lower your potential dating pool becomes.
Many people end up becoming so selective that they never find anyone and then complain about it.
I've had guys not want anything to do with me after finding out mine, which is totally fine by me, rather end things earlier than later after wasting time.
I also wouldn't say "Only 3" in the future, say 3... only makes it sound like you want more and might become a cheater in the future... cause if she became 4 then you'd say only 4 and I'd feel like, dang he wants more than just me.
I like how you think about this. Selectivity gives options and simultaneously limits options. And perspective on both sides matters. I don’t think most people think about these things. Especially not most women.
First body count shouldn't really matter coz what ur partner is to u n how they treat u n love u matter the most.. its not their past but present when they r with u n also i believe sex should always be kept apart from relationships...
Second she is wrong for calling u those names because first she should hav tried to show u n convince u how much she is into u n as u made it clear body count matters to u she should hav convinced u with her care n love for u n i hav seen guys tht they tend to believe if we get really honest to u not just with words but in reality as well but there must be huge understanding n compatibility between the 2
And tht example of a pair of shoe being used by 50 guys previously is pathetic coz a woman is not a pair of shoe
You are what you do. Whether that is good or bad. A high number of sexual partners shows a lack of self control as well as indicating symptoms of mental ill health from past trauma or lack of a good father figure.
Sex is the most intimate part of the relationship which should indicate high levels of trust and mutual affection. Trivialise it at your own peril. For those who do so the most often end up broken and alone.
since that's the case ( she's not a pair of shoes that were made for wearing and eventually throwing away ) then why is she treating herself as tho she were? She must not have very much self respect if the longest she's ever made a guy wait to get naked after trying to hump her leg on a date was while she's taking her pants off.
She obviously doesn't understand that giving your body to someone is supposed to be something special, and if you treat yourself as though your most sacred parts of your body have no value~> then so will everyone else. and if she doesn't have any respect for herself how can this poor guy ever truly know whether or not she has any respect at all for him and/or their relationship altogether.
I know a lot of people talk shit about people with high body count. But as someone with a lot experience, they typically do not make better or worse romantic partners. They just tend to be more impersonal, less intimate during sex in bed. In other words, sex tends to be worse with those who have high body count.
@Usernamej58 honey u got to clear sum perceptions about it... she is just a normal girl who had few partners.. i m not really sure how many i hav had so far but i m sure its 3500 plus or around that n yet i m living a very happy life i m married i hav 2 sons n i hav never even lived in trauma in past... so sex is not really a lack of control or something... its just something different which can be n should be treated separately from the relationships
@MeliisMe do u mean that all the respect n love n affection can only be determined through her holes/body parts? yes its special but why can't we just treat sex separately n nobody really throws themselves to anyone for sex honey...
@shaysh87 i hav a very high body count n yet everyone says they love it with me much more than others they hav had or are having... n again i hav a few here on gag who can tell u how gud i m
@elizamichale1 don't waste your time on them they are just children saving their virginity for jesus to fuck them and because they will be virgins for their entire lives they will never understand sex and how it relates to relationships and love and life
@BullyMaguire that's right i am a big bad Communist!! Go run and hide under your bed or else i will get you and your mom too!!! OOOOOOOOHHHHHHH RED AND SCARY!!! 👹👺👹👺👹👺👹👺👹👺👹👺👹👺👹
@billymoguire touche young padawan! I misread your question but the African jungle covers more than just one country so your the dumbass thats thinks the entire African Jungle is in a single country
@BullyMaguire I am not surprised you dont have anywhere near the intelligence to be a Communist lol! 😂 i will leave you with this quote for you though ;)
"It is better to be a human being dissatisfied than a pig satisfied; better to be Socrates dissatisfied than a fool satisfied. And if the fool, or the pig, are of a different opinion, it is because they only know their own side of the question.” -John Stuart Mill
If you haven't yet contributed to her count, that is fine and a reasonable standard to have, particularly on the premise your body count is much much lower.
Just don't be sad when a woman asks a different question regarding your past, and judges you just as subjectively.
To the guys that are happy to add to her body count and dump her afterwards on that same reason, theyre assholes who think only some women are worthy of respect. Pretty sure everyone is worthy of respect no matter what your background is.
No I disagree. Not everyone is worthy of respect. Everyone is worthy of decency sure but respect is earned through a lot of hard work and lost through simple stupid choices.
@vald9inches was Hitler worthy? Trump/Biden depending on your camp? Murderers? Rapists? Pedophiles? Was that woman who stole Dre’s semen from the condom worthy? Is the local whore/man whore whom knows they have STIs yet continue having unprotected sex? Are the Uvalde police worthy of respect after the incident in Texas? Is the woman who choose abortion over contraception? The man that refuses to support the kids he helped father?
YOU gtfo of here with your bullshit. Not everyone is worthy of respect just like not everyone thinks before they spout their shit… like you just proved.
People who do not respect other people are not worthy of respect pretty simple. All those people you listed do not respect other people. Hitler for example advocated to kill people that are not white for such a simple and petty reason just like how you are trying to advocate to shame and put down other people who simply want to live their life the way they want to and have sex and have a high body count. You will argue "they dont respect themselves" and thats why you disrespect them but thats just a lame ass excuse even Hitler could have used. So again GTFO
@vald9inces respect is earned you little twat. You don’t just get it. I know your not used to having to work for things but I’m sure you can understand having to work for a paycheck. The better your work and more you do the better your pay… same concept.
Yes it is earned and you earn it by respecting others you twat! The moment you disrespect someone else for petty reasons you lose it dumb ass how hard is that to understand? 🤦🤦🤦
Again you have to EARN it to lose it. It’s not something that just comes with being! You also don’t get respect just by not being a dick! You have to be admired and someone worthy of looking up to! That’s the very meaning of respect! So your not a dick? That’s nice! You don’t just get respected by doing the bare god damn minimum!
… I don't know what I was thinking arguing with someone that inserts himself into a conversation with an insult. I’m done.
So tell me dumb ass mother fucker does a baby deserve respect? How the hell does a baby earn respect lets see you talk your way out of this one you fucking narrow minded self righteous fucking moron!
Lol ok I wanna answer this but this is the last time … no no a baby does not deserve respect. A baby lives completely off others and does nothing for itself how can you possibly respect it? You can cherish it. Protect it. Teach it. But until it does something for itself it’s done nothing to be respected for.
And with that I’m actually done with responding to you.
No i am done with you if you think babies dint deserve respect. You probably think it's ok to spit on babies and call them stupid and treat them with no respect because they haven't "earned" it! Dumbass
Methodology and attitude play important roles. If she's tried to get married three times and disaster struck every time, I might give the gal a chance anyway. But it'd be with the understanding that she expects me to break the curse.
If she treated men that God didn't place up for sale like they were free food sample dishes at Wal-Mart, that tells me that anything I'd try to start with her will also be cheap in her eyes. I'm not risking putting a child in the middle of something like that. Children deserve better than her, even when they're still a single cell!
Also, funny how the woman in the stock image defeats her own point by posing nude, suggesting that sexual value is ALL she cares about!
1. Was it with 20 relationship partners? If yes, then there are high chances of her being a "flocking" type who jumps from one relationship to other
2. Was it mindless sex? Higher chances of being someone addicted to sexual pleasure. May cheat on you if you are in a relationship and things are stressful
3. Was it because she was a stripper before? If yes, then was she a stripper out of necessity? (Needing money for basic survival needs). If yes, then you may consider her as a partner but be vary.
The same is expected from a guy. A guy who sleeps around too much is not always the best guy around. A guy (and a girl) can gain an appreciable amount of experience by fucking each other in different variations.
As for you feeling bad about being concerned with her body count, there is nothing bad about it. What you are doing is assessing her history and coming to a conclusion.
You are permitted your preferences. We all are. Women generally handle rejection very poorly because they’re not socialized to accept it the way men generally are. So you can expect similar reactions in the future. Also know that you’re likely to experience long periods of single life and possibly loneliness if you’re able to remain steadfast in your values. More so if you aren’t equally disciplined about being the kind of man worth waiting for. Know your true value. Work on yourself and keep close family and good friends near for the single periods. Good luck!
It’s not wrong to have preferences. If she lives a promiscuous lifestyle, that’s a lifestyle that she chose and and she is free to make her own lifestyle choices. Just like someone can choose to be a smoker and have smoking as a part of their regular lifestyle. Some people don’t mind dating people who smoke, while it may be a dealbreaker for others. For you, having a high body count is dealbreaker for you and that’s completely okay.
In contrast, there are also men and women that avoid dating virgins, because they prefer someone with more experience. There’s nothing wrong with that either.
Everyone can have dating preferences. It’s not like you hurt or abused her, you just declined her invitation to be romantic with you. What? Are we supposed to accept every romantic invitation we receive?
I fucked a skank for a year. She had an amazing body and was really beautiful. Her ass was out of this world. I did her doggy style 99% of the time. Just looking at her ass would make me shoot a big load. We fucked everywhere in the house in every position. Did i marry her? Hell no. She was a whore. Before me, she fucked 35 guys, she had herpes ,, she had 3 abortions, she had anal leakage from getting ass raped by a group of guys at a party, she had declared bankruptcy, and she tried to get me to pay all o the rent.. When she tried to get me to pay the rent, I told to fuck off and move out. She did and within a week, she was riding a new guy's cock who was married. She had 35 guys by the age of 33. I had the time of my life fucking that whore but she is just that; a whore. I checked Donna (not her real name) out on Facebook recently. She is fat now.
Of course you were wrong. It's wrong to judge. Imagine if a woman told you she'd date you but you must make 500billion per year or the wedding is off. Wouldn't you feel crushed? That's exactly how she must be feeling. Being objectified, humiliated.
@Subarugirl: Concur. But not sure if most appreciate what that double standard really is. Women have it rough they not only potentially have to hear about it from men in an attempt to shame, slander, or through the rumor mill, but they also have to take it very harshly by fellow women that will leverage said information for their own advantage. Couple that with family and peer pressure, and you have a recipe for disaster.
Amazingly, women who call themselves sluts and get ahead of the wrath seem to be empowered. Good for them! Reality is, some people are more experienced than others for many reasons. That doesn't mean people aren't loyal, respect relationships, or are cheap.
Shot out, @Subarugirl. You called it out correctly.
A body isn't comparable to a shoe, or clothes, or a car. its not an object without a soul and shouldn't be treated like one.
but on that note, if it makes you uncomfortable it makes you uncomfortable. no shame in being too uncomfortable to continue the relationship, so long as you dont shame the person
Yes and an object with a sole should be treated accordingly with the utmost respect. That is chastity, not selling your soul to every guy you desire. That's what chips away at it and decreases its value.
If you don't respect the sanctity of your soul, why expect anyone else to?
if you think body count should be a measure worth of someone's soul, then you have questionable morals.
A human being has so much they can offer to the world. To measure a human being's self-worth purely on virginity or body count is immoral.
Sure you may not find it attractive for someone to have slept around with the entire community, but body count really cannot be the measure of a worth of a human being.
And not everyone sees sex as intimate as you do. They don't see sex as a soulful experience. It really does not mean they do not respect themselves. Its just that you hold a different mentality than they do. Everyone is different.
Well, I'm neutral. I wouldn't say the word "value" to describe it as no one's a object.
But it's totally up to you, not everyone wants to get into a relationship with someone that has slep with several people. Even more if you didn't. It's a question that involves morals as well, so it's hard to say...
It really depends on someone's preferences, beliefs and morals.
But it's absolutely okay to reject someone for this reason. After all, you date anyone you want. You're not obligated to just accept it for their sake and that's it.
Plus, you wouldn't be considered as hypocritical by the fact that you answered "only 3", whilst her answer was "20".
It would have been hypocrisy if you had answered "20 +" .
I don’t get why people care so much about body count, in my opinion the only relevance it has is when it comes to sexual health, and sexual experience, but as long as somebody had been regularly tested while sexually active with several partners and aren’t pressuring you into anything you don’t want to do, then why do people care?
If I was dating a boy tomorrow and he told me he’d slept with twenty girls previously (which honestly wouldn’t happen because I don’t think I’d even care to ask) I’d be like ok and?
And it really doesn’t matter if it’s a boy or a girl who cares
That’s just my opinion
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0 Reply
Anonymous
(36-45)
+1 y
It doesn’t matter whether other people think it’s okay, that’s your decision to make.
I’ve dated women with that many partners. They were always cheating hoes.
Of course they’re gonna try to convince you that their past doesn’t matter, why would they want to encourage men not to take them seriously?
As for this being a double standard, those doubles standards exist because men and women are different and want different things. We’re put off by different things as well.
3
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Anonymous
(30-35)
+1 y
I think you are right. Personally I have dated many guys and have not started a relationship with them precisely because I don’t see the point of getting involved with someone im not 100% emotionally and physically attracted to + all the red flags. But I guess women simply rush into being in a relationship not only because of their biology, family but also society has set this standard that after a certain age…women should be starting a family. Anyway, I dated until I found someone that felt right. He is the opposite of you, he is shocked because I never had a relationship and sex in my 32 years of life. But hey, it’s better than collecting a huge number of relationships that only caused drama.
Social media are the most important thing for a woman. What they failed to realise soon enough is that it can also be used against them. Women today know that it's impossible to hide their entire sexual history from men. All the parties they had, all the gang bangs, traveling around the world to bang billions of men, trading special gifts and favours for their vagina, etc. So what they do is shame any man who dares to have any standards whatsoever.
"What's up insecure man? You can't handle a dynamic independent woman who likes to whore herself out? You're so gay, you're not a real man, you have no balls. A real man doesn't care how many guys a woman has banged."
Of course, this is your choice, but women perceive it as sexism. Because it seems normal for a man to have more sexual intercourse, but when a woman does it, she becomes immoral. In my country, men are more sensitive about this, unfortunately, at least I knew that... It turns out that the man is the same man everywhere. It has nothing to do with the country.
It does not just "seem" like sexism. IT IS SEXISM.
A man who sleeps around needs a woman to sleep around with. For every time a man sleeps around , a woman also needs to be doing casual sex. A man cannot have causal sex unless a woman also has casual sex.
so how do you persecute the woman for having casual sex while let the man roam free?
@shaysh87 I guess you don't understand what I mean... I'm on your side too. Only the person who wrote it has the right to say, maybe I just slept with my girlfriend and I'm conservative, so I want a conservative partner, at the same time, a woman can ask for it. If the person who wrote this had slept with 20 people, he would not have the right to question, but everyone has the right to demand equal things. I also emphasized that I understand that sexism does not differ from country to country, and that men tend to be backwards regardless of culture. But since the person slept with few people and had the right to see someone with the same status, I did not make an aggressive exit. It's like asking for equal economic status with one's partner. I've considered it from both sides.
I think body count is very shallow thing to judge someone on. Becaue your your body count will likely increase dramatically as you get older. Its easy to say you had 3 when you are 21. But what if you had 10 by the time you are 45? Should people consider you as worthless in the dating market by then? If you found the perfect man who suited you perfectly in every single way, would you reject him simply because he has dated 8 people in the past?
I think that its a very backwards, outdated, close minded way to live. And I'm glad not many modern people hold this mindset nowadays.
@shaysh87 I'm 24 years old and slept with 10 different people, I feel bad for explaining myself that way... I never question my partner's past, it's none of my business, I don't let him question me, sexuality is the last thing I care about. In my opinion, it is a shallow idea, but if s/he is a person who keeps his/her sexuality to a minimum, s/he may deserve to expect this from the other side, this should not be evaluated on the basis of gender. Unfortunately, everyone's expectations and perspectives may not fit the person and it can be ridiculous, but if his expectation is equal for both genders, I can only respect him. Also, I'm not a conservative person and I don't want a conservative man even if I like him, he doesn't want me anyway, we have no right to criticize each other for this, I respect and go my own way. Everyone has criteria, logical or unreasonable, if it's fair, I'll shut up. Since the person asking did not write his opinion in detail, I evaluated it objectively.
Personally for me, I wouldn't date a guy who has slept around with 50 women by the age of 40. But in today's society its unreasonable to expect everyone to have "low body count". Firstly, men aren't gonna be interested in dating you, if you don't have sex with him after the first month of dating. This is just the reality of modern dating. You can't argue with that. Men are sexual creatures. You must have sex with him in order to keep him interested.
Secondly, its very foolish to be judgement of high body count because your body count will likely increase as you get older too. If you dont like to be judged, why would you judge someone else?
For me, I will not date a man whore who has slept with 50 -100 women. But I am understanding to the fact that its unrealistic to demand a low body count in our current modern society.
@shaysh87 Is the problem still on me? Then, if it is normal to be called a male whore who slept with 50 women, why is it a problem when a woman who sleeps with 50 men is called a whore? Gender-neutral please, no one becomes a whore when they have too much sex. Are you aware of the same logic as the person asking the question in your answer? He slept with 3 women and didn't want the woman who slept with 20 men, and you don't want the man who slept with 40 women. I understand you don't want to, but then what's your reaction to the question? You also have a criterion, which may be, but why was it a problem when the man had a criterion? You have been saying that the count is unimportant all along, you found such criteria to be outdated (which is the same for me), now the man became a whore when he slept, I couldn't understand ur purpose. I advocate gender equality, not feminasizm, they are two very different things..
yea that is sexism. But I wasn't addressing that topic. I thought we already had that settled right from the beginning. I think you know my stance on it so no further discussion is needed.
My point is, I will never find man whores to be attractive. I have a reasonable tolerance for body count but I do have my limits. I will never want to marry a man who has had sex with every woman in my neighborhood.
I think this is very interesting idea, but your question may be flawed.
What if her body count was 1, but her ex was swinging a huge dick, and rough fucked her every day, multiple times a day, for several years?
In terms of use, 20 guys, 3 times each, doesn't even compare.
If use was an issue, I would avoid people who were in healthy, long-term sexual relationships. It's every day for those people, especially at our age range.
But yeah, you can reject her for whatever reason you want. The hell? It's your choice. Also, there are far less trivial issues than sexual history, and this is coming from a person with a body count that is way higher than hers.
On the flip side, you may miss out on an amazing person. Body count may not be as important as you think it is, but if that's a make-or-break for you, then that's what it is.
@youngmix exactly!! 💯💯💯 Like you said what if she was only with one guy with a really huge cock and they had rough sex non stop every day and night for 20 years? It would be hypocritical of him if he didn't date her
@vald9inches LOL He wouldn't find out until it was too late. How about this? Since she has only been with one guy, this is all that she knows, sex *is* this. She expects sex to be huge dick rough sex. If she got into it, and this was the way she has sexually developed, and this is how her body defined orgasm causing behavior, then she probably won't even know that she needs to tell the new guy what she likes.
The new guy will just give her an underwhelming experience, and she's going to have to readjust greatly.
In a long-term relationship, people get *deep* into their kinks. So we're talking about some pretty extreme domination and intensity. I think the new guy would be playing catch up from day 1.
For me, that is a challenging act to follow. Someone with a kink that is fine-tuned to another person's kink for a long period of time, especially if the majority of their sexuality is defined through this one person. It can be a very specific set of desires. It would be like having sex with that other person as well, their kink is radiating out of this person that you think is inexperienced, but they are not inexperienced. Their experience is just focused upon a very specific path, and it revolved around a single other human.
I would much rather be with a person who has a wide array of experiences, as I believe that can create a far more flexible position to explore from.
@vald9inches I think if the old guy comes around, then she's going back. New guy better hope that the other dude never wants to give her some side action, because she will be creeping.
@youngmix oh you know her ex will definitely be wanting to give her some action on the side especially with how unsatisfied she will be with the new guy lol
Sorry, my young man. If you had grown up when I did, it was still okay to have standards back then. It was called preference, which in today's world, if you have a preference you are deemed a fascist. Think for one moment, you live in a world where if you as a straight male, say you will not date nor even consider dating transgenders, you are homophobic or some other radical term. So, if that makes you homophobic, what does something as small as having an issue with how many people somebody has slept with make you? Damn her for you not wanting to risk sleeping with somebody who has a much higher chance of having a sexually transmitted disease than you do. Don't worry about it, man. I have been cussed out for simply telling a woman I wasn't interested before. Get used to it, as much as some women claim men can't take rejection, you best believe that women can't either.
It is perfectly fine. But it's also fine for women to reject men for their high body count as well. Simply because hook up culture has made many people outright stupid about sex. Pretty much no one sets out to get a STD or have a unwanted pregnancy. Yet both men and women can be so damn stupid about sex they are basically asking for both. So men and women can sleep around all they want. Just don't expect me to not think you are a dumb ass for doing so.
You can reject anyone on any basis you want. Some things we're rejected for we have control over and others we don't. It just means that person isn't for us and that's ok. Personally for me a high body count would also be a reason to reject a guy, it tells much more about a person than just how many people he slept with... it shows his morals and attitude to life, love and his own body.
If you have a belief that living a moral life is one of the best things to do then obviously elicit sex does not meet those standards. No one wants to but sometimes it is necessary to make those decisions. I think you are doing the best thing for your conscious and your general welfare and health.
In my opinion It's really just personal preference it's perfectly fine if you're not comfortable with being with someone who is premiscuious and/or have had a lot of partners. If you were to have deliberately told her that you didn't want anything to do with her BECAUSE of her sexual history than yes I would consider this extremely rude. I agree with the comment previous to mine, age is definietly a factor the older you get obviously the more partners you will have had so you should definietly take that into account. I personally care about how many partners someone has been with if i'm considering getting involved with them. I'd say i'm fair but if it's a ridiculous amount i'll politely decline. It's just a major turn off for me plus I feel like the more partners they've had the more likely it is for them cheat for whatever reason.
IMHO I think you're okay to feel that way. You have a preference, just like someone can find someone attractive, but someone else might think they're not. I've always been in long-term relationships, so I don't have a high body count. However, some of the guys I dated did. I hope this doesn't sound conceited, but I've dated many good-looking guys, so it was a no-brainer that they'd had multiple partners. It didn't bother me, though, and I didn't want to know how many there were. I don't know. She kind of sounds off anyway. Why call you a "typical guy" and laugh about your body count? It makes me think someone else probably had an issue with it, and that's why she got all butthurt.
I do know matemathics, if you have an equal amount of guys and girls, and we don't count gay sex, it would be the same average. If you actually did include the full population. When you start excluding people you will she changes in one direction or the other. And then you need to ask what are you really trying to research? Because you are only proving the difference within a group. Not the whole population.
I do belive the context on it is importent But if someone switch a lot for there age I guess they can't seem to hold a relashinsip for long that can be a red flag if you want more And I dont think its worng man or woman to be effected by there past and deciding based on that
If you read the books of acient jewish law, you will find it was considered shameful to turn a women's request for sexual attention down. I think it was based on you not being willing to help her fulfill her punishment after being evicted from the Garden. With HPV concerns there is some creedence to the shoe concept.
Is she applying for a job and be working for you? No. There is no law saying that you are not allowed to reject someone based on how many sexual partners they had. It's acceptable in full. It's not misogynistic and it's not descrimination by law.
2. In answer to your question, that is a perfectly acceptable reason to reject. Almost ANY reason is an acceptable reason to reject. Your rejection is your business no matter what the reason.
3. She was an immature, bitchy slut. Dumping her is the right thing.
You're not wrong and, in my opinion, it's the correct thing to do. Sex for women evolved for it to be a bonding activity, women can be usually more emotionally involved in sex. Which makes sense since women historically had more to lose (pregnancy). If a woman has slept with 12 guys, it's possibly going to be harder for that bond to be there.
I think it's fine to judge bodycount if there's good reasoning behind it. If the guy/girl who judges has a high body count and judges someone for also having one for example then they're in the wrong for sure. For me, I view sex as a very intimate thing, and I wouldn't go that far until we are in a comitted relationship. I couldn't date someone who didn't share those views.
its your choice, if you dont mind then happy days, if it bugs you and you can't deal with it then happy days. you dont owe anything to a person youve not long met.
not trying to cast aspersions but her reaction to your reaction is the reason I would be happy to walk away, if someone can switch and call you an asshole and typical guy just like that, well, that says more about their personality than how much sex theyve had.
You can reject a woman for any reason you want, regardless of what anyone else thinks. If you didn't feel comfortable dating her because of her body count, then it would have been a mistake to do it. I will tell you this- I've never asked a woman for her body count or been asked for mine.
It's your decision cos you alone why you did reject the fellow. Probably I would in some cases cos I will think she is loose, cheap, a whore, or f*cking bitch but unfortunately love sees beyond all these things. Human past should not determine their present situation.
honestly once a girl hits 10+ body count they lose the chance of being a long term partner in my book. they might as well become a porn star if they want to sleep around that much.
I've never engaged in hookup culture due to my own moral reasons because I know it ruins people over time.
most people who say body count shouldn't matter likely have a high body count themselves and are trying to justify it.
1
0 Reply
Anonymous
(36-45)
+1 y
One can be judging wrong based on that alone.. depends on what one derives from it.. but it is always ok to reject someone from whatever reason. It is your life, you can be with who you want. Though, one might be acting like a hypocrite or very superficial and so on.. if you want to be that person, go ahead :D.
Though, I have to say in your case you were not honest about it.. even though it was obvious to the girl.. just tell the truth.
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Anonymous
(30-35)
+1 y
Unless you have a high body count yourself then I think it’s completely fine, you’re entitled to your own opinion and it’s totally fine for you to be uncomfortable with someone who has a very long list if you don’t have one yourself.
Now if you yourself have a high body count and you reject a girl solely because of that then that’s an unfair double standard.
Date whomever you like. But, in fairness, while I do think 20 is excessive, just because someone has a past, doesn’t mean that person can’t have a future
And if a guy responded the same, would you claim his “response to being rejected was actually indicative of a deeper problem?” I have feeling you wouldn’t.
Yes I would say his response isn’t acceptable. It’s not okay for a guy to call her names. I might know how he feels but if he’s got to bow out gracefully. He gets labeled a “bitch” if he doesn’t.
But women keep making excuses for women who act inappropriately. But they are just hurt and “expressing themselves” right?
If she would have said (after getting rejected): “you know I liked you and find it sad that you judged me that way. At least I was honest with you. Anyway best of luck”. THEN he might of made a mistake. But instead she pulled the victim/feminist card.
You said “Her response was indicative of someone who was honest about something personal and got hurt for it.”
What I am gathering from above is that you are saying “her response was genuine” and okay. Yes she spoke her mind about being hurt. But did it solve anything? It actually confirmed he made the right choice considering how she did it. She lacks self control.
@globetrotter22 Ok, I’ll answer my own question: I never stated that name calling was acceptable, thus your assumption that I think name calling was acceptable is nonsensical. Moreover, while it’s good that you think name calling is unacceptable, it’s interesting that you apparently don’t think that responding with name calling is “actually more indicative of a deeper problem” if the name caller is a man, as you did when it was a woman.
It’s unacceptable either way. Rejection hurts but you got to take it in stride. From my observations and experiences women are actually worse at handling rejection vs men. They aren’t used to it. For example they often label the guy “gay” if he turns them down to protect their egos. No man would ever get away with that vice versa.
But back to the deeper problem. It’s arguable that “the number” is a double standard for men vs women. Especially when you are young. Okay I get that. However this also works against young guys when they have little or no experience.
But anyway if she would of calmly and maturely reacted to what to the rejection that might of given him second thoughts. But if you get pissed off and start calling people names it often confirms they made the right decision.
You have the right to set whatever criteria you think are appropriate for choosing a dating partner and no one else can tell you that you are wrong. Only YOU can decide what is right for YOU!
Anyone who disagrees with that statement can go fuck theirself on the street corner.
I wouldn't say your wrong. Some people care about that more than others but you both could have handled it differently. I personally don't care as long as it's not like 100 (20 isn't concerning to me). That to me seems like a high school thing to focus on
Love and logic are words that donr fit in the same sentence. Girls also reject guys for the slightest flaws as well.
If her body count makes you uncomfortable to date, by all means, do what feels right for you. In the world of dating, whats the point of having a freedom of choice to reject if we are constantly being judged for our personal reasons and preferences?
People want to think there past shouldn't matter. But think about something other than body count. Would you date someone who did 10 years in jail? Would you date a former junkie? Former racist? The reality is our past decisions stay with us and people will judge us for them.
You are right. If your own body count is low then you should reject such girls. Her response was wrong. I can't believe such girls exist. You should not question what you did. You can definitely find someone better. She was not worth your time. I am glad people care about important things like this. Your values are completely different. You made a good decision. No need to feel guilty.
Maybe tho don't judge so much... on a general friendly base, you don't have to date anyone who you don't want to, no matter the reason but being generally empathetic and less judgmental won't hurt you
You're not in the wrong. You have your own preferences, and why be with someone who you don't want to be with, right? At least you broke it all off now rather than you two breaking it off later on, with more hurt feelings being there.
Not very nice of you but you can do what you want.
4
0 Reply
Anonymous
(25-29)
+1 y
If a girl had tons of sexual partners, i would turn her down.
to add to that, something should be done about it being fine for guys to have tons of sexual partners but not for girls.
i firmly believe that guys who are like that too deserve the same label as the girls.
1
0 Reply
Anonymous
(45 Plus)
+1 y
It's totally OK. So long as you don't complain about your relationship options being fewer. I always am amused by women with sky high expectations that complain about their lack of options. You give up the right to complain when you choose to restrict your options.
You can reject anyone you want for any or no reason. No one can tell you what you must be attracted to. Problems only occur if you then try to tell others that they also shouldn't be attracted to someone.
You're a free person. If you don't want to be with someone for any reason, that is fine. What you can live with is all up to you. Same goes for her. If you're both on the same page, then maybe a relationship forms.
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