Why Do Men Hate It When Women He Asks Out, Put Him In The Friend Zone?

[Tommy789]

Many Women believe it is because a Man feels a sense of entitlement. As a Man I don't believe it has anything to do with entitlement, I believe that there are different reasons for a Man not liking the rejection for a few reasons. Such as;

1) a Man feels humiliated when put in the Friend zone which could be because He was teased and ridiculed by His classmates in school or perhaps the first Girl He asked out rejected Him in a harsh manner by calling Him gross or a loser and this memory scarred Him mentally.

2) Society's warped expectations of men meaning the opinion of a Man who does not have a Woman who looks like a supermodel hanging all over Him in public is a loser.

3) When a Man is Friend Zoned in His Mind it means He is not worthy.

[Anonymous]

There is a right way and a wrong way for women to do this:

The Right Way

Woman tactfully tells the guy she’s not romantically interested very shortly after she comes to that decision. She doesn’t ask him to “be friends” but rather can we “be friendly”. There is a difference. This is the respectful way to handle it.

Often women are curious but lose interest after interacting with a guy. That’s unfortunate however the guy stuck is his neck out. She needs to respect him and (tactfully) tell him the truth in truth. Some women get this but a lot don’t. But men crave respect and if a man feels respected when he is being rejected he will take it much better. He will be disappointed but not angry at her. He might not thank her but be thankful.

The Wrong (and more common) Way

The woman loved the attention. If she’s a real cunt she take advantage of all his free meals, favors, effort, etc. She feels entitled to it.

She will never speak up but will instead play dumb. She will claim “she doesn’t want to make him angry” but in reality that’s a bullshit excuse for not wanting the attention/favors to go away.

In some worst case scenarios she will complain or ask for advice about guys she really likes. She might even purposely keep him around to keep the guy she really likes jealous.

Again this is all based on entitlement. Deep down she doesn’t give rats ass about the guy she “claims” to be a friend. Could care less.

Ladies many of you don’t even realize how much damage you can do in scenario 2. That crap leads to misogyny. Yes their are douche bag guys out there but doesn’t give you an excuse to be a douche yourself.

Again not all women are like this but way too many are.

[loveslongnails]

This is overthinking on one hand, and just plain "not thinking" or reacting like a child, on the other.

When a woman declines a romantic gesture but offers a friendship, she's not saying "you're unworthy of my love", she's saying "I'm not attracted to you in THAT way". If the male ego says "well why not?", and then reacts all over the place, that's his problem, not hers. It's the reaction of a child.

All men would do well to understand that every woman in their little world, or every woman they every meet, doesn't want them! Men should also remember there were women who wanted more from you than you were willing to give.

[globetrotter22]

There is a right and wrong way for how women do this. Read my opinion about this.

Most mature guys aren’t upset at losing out on a romantic opportunity vs. feeling disrespected. If a woman can reject a man but at the same time convey she respects him it goes a long way. But in my experience most women aren’t very good at that.

Attraction isn’t a choice. But respect is.

[loveslongnails]

@globetrotter22 I agree that neither side should be an asshole when rejecting a romantic interest, but men definitely have the bigger ego problem when turned down. I've witnessed real emotional meltdown stuff no matter HOW nice the woman was being.

[Pinay_ako]

This is a great question! I think the men felt like they are wasting a lot of themselves putting efforts into someone who doesn’t feel the same as them. Being friends is not one of them. If they want to be friends, they didn’t have to invest $, time and feelings! But if the woman tells you upfront they’re not looking for a relationship and only wants to be friends, then just respect that and move on to someone else who’s looking…

[globetrotter22]

I agree that a woman should be up front. But women aren’t.

[Tommy789]

@globetrotter22 agreed

[StevieNix]

Guys should not be mean, and they should not be overly nice. Try and strike a balance, and you won't end up in the zone.

[Tommy789]

I do see Your point, We do have a habit of being mean or overly nice. I been friend zoned before and I don't know how to describe the feeling in the Friend zone but to a guy it can be an insult and any guy who says he doesn't feel insulted and hurt by being friend zoned is a damned liar.

[StevieNix]

A girl I worked with was a single mom and money was tight. Her phone broke, and she was leaving town for a work seminar. She wanted a phone to be able to talk to her kids. I had about four extras in the drawer, so I gave her one. All I asked for in return was for her to text me from the seminar, and let me know how it was going. Not once did she do that.

About six months later, she called me and asked me to fix her computer. FUCK THAT.

"Do me once, shame on YOU. Do me twice, shame on ME."

No man should tolerate the friend zone. Tell her it's been fun and nice, but you need to go hang with your friends in "Low Places."

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p0_der_5hRM

[Tommy789]

You shouldn't have to put up with that... sometimes You have to go with the put out or get out mentality

[StevieNix]

Agreed

[globetrotter22]

@stevienix I see your point. But society does out expectations on men to be “nice” to women when it comes to dating. It’s us who have to stick our necks out, ask for a number, plan a date, pay for dinner, make the first move, etc.

Now some modern “claim” men don’t have to do that. But this is still well entrenched. We also are also paranoid about consent and metoo horror stories. It should be no surprise to women that men play it safe. All it takes is one mistake and our lives can be completely ruined.

But some women are pretty good at manipulating guys. They feel no shame at taking advantage of men for their own conceited ends. And feminism being all about “equality” never calls out women for that bullshit. In fact they usually do mental gymnastics to justify it.

The vast majority of men however make zero excuse for (verified) douche bag guys. But we see frustrated that so many women hypocritically lust after that bullshit.

[Tommy789]

@globetrotter22 I can understand the fear of the me too movement and as Men we do risk false accusations. I would advise any young man to be careful.

[globetrotter22]

And yet so many women still expect men to “take action” and complain when they don’t.

It just comes down to this extremely unrealistic expectation of f*cking mind reading that women expect men to magically have.

Men (in general) HAVE changed their behavior towards women in the last 50 years in lieu of what women “said” they wanted. And women are now miserable about it. Who’s fault is that?

Women have two choices: make a concerted effort to call out feminist bullshit OR accept the fact the ball is now in their court when it comes to approaching men, asking for date, making a move, etc. They need to accept the fact their “rape fantasies” are extremely hypocritical and asinine in this day and age.

There are some women who understand both of the above. But too many are in this wishy washy “I best of both worlds” delusional mindset. It’s making everyone suffer.

[razelove]

Personally it's none of the above for me. The friend zone would be fine and dandy if you were actually treated as a friend. Personally I've found any woman who "wants to be friends" generally just wants to use me in some way though. Most of the time it's just attention, though a simple test is to simply ask them to wingman for you to pick up other women. If they do it they at least care if you're happy or not and it's worth keeping in touch with them.

[FilmGuy93]

Most guys spend a lot of time hyping a woman up in their heads before they actually ask her out. So that enthusiasm gets popped like a balloon when she shuts him down. He doesn't want her company, he wants HER.

[Tommy789]

That's right

[Sarahplus2]

Some guys over perceive a woman's friendliness as attraction.

[Tommy789]

@Sarahplus2 I believe it depends on body language, men are expected to make the first move which a majority of the time results in rejection. The problem with the friendliness being mistaken for attraction is that a woman very seldom will say whether she is attracted or not. It wouldn't hurt if once in a while a Woman were to admit she were attracted to a guy so that the guy can spare himself of the embarrassment of being rejected.

[FilmGuy93]

@Sarahplus2 yeah! It’s like the other guy said; so many women are so cold and categorically unfriendly to men that the women are friendly get misinterpreted.

[slatyb]

Entitlement sums it up. They feel entitled to an attractive partner as a birthright and when they are rejected they feel that they are being treated unfairly. They feel humiliated because they see other men who are more successful and they rate themselves inferior. Then they blame the woman for making them feel that way. Humiliation is a very powerful emotion. The feeling of being humiliated by the educated elite drives a lot of populist voting.

[Tommy789]

I would say it depends on the Woman's behavior. For example if a Woman says she is not interested in a polite manner then chances are a Guy will just move on. As far as entitlement I believe You are wrong unless You are talking about a guy who just doesn't want to take no for an answer. Rejection is humiliation. Quite frankly if the successful men wouldn't brag then there wouldn't be this problem in the first place.

[slatyb]

Insecure men brag about their achievements. Secure men do not. I know a fair number of rather successful people in senior positions in high tech, getting maybe $500K/year. They don't brag about that, or their high intelligence.

[Tommy789]

Ha! You are bragging, if you weren't you wouldn't say anything at all

[slatyb]

LOL. That’s true. I will say that the smartest people I’ve met weren’t particularly impressed with themselves.

[Anonymous]

Women always like to say men make the first move. That's actually a rarity. Typically women give guys signals that they would like to be approached. Guys that get friendzoned feel betrayed because some women signal and then later change thier mind. No it's not a good feeling but I always tell guys yeah be annoyed, but be happy as well. Because she just let you know how flaky she was. She actually did you a favor in the long run. Because if that's the type of person she was. Did you really think it was going to get better?

[joeldalton]

Men hate the friend zone because they choose to stay in it. At any point a woman says "I just want to be friends" to a romantic proposal, the correct response is "Ok, well thanks for being honest, but I don't want to be friends. Good luck".

[Chaser3232]

I will wholeheartedly agree!

[20yearsolder]

You seriously can't answer your own question? You're attracted to this woman and you finally get the balls to ask her out because you are romantically / sexually interested in her and then she shoots you down and says but we can be friends. Number one their ego just got kicked in the balls. You don't want to look like a pouting baby so now you get the pleasure of being friends with a woman that you really want to be fucking but she shot you down

[Sarahplus2]

The guys who asked me out and I turned down never became my friends or put in the "friends zone". That sounds like something a teen does in high school

[Anonymous]

To young women and girls reading this, yes, guys don’t like rejection the same way you don’t like rejection. Women and girls will avoid rejection because they know a man or guy or boy will court them, ask them out. Everything the poster said is correct. Guys have pressure to. If a girl or woman reads this and says something along the lines of 🙄 yeaa men have “pressure” by being sarcastic. That is merely pushing his feelings down to nothing. This has been normalized especially in western countries. This divide between men and women needs to stop as well. I’m not saying a female needs to accept him for asking her out. I’m not condoning rude behaviour by men or guys who get rejected. But I agree with poster 100% that there are other reasons involved.

[ManOnFire]

When I make the moves on a woman and she lets me know she's not interested, I don't stick around to be her friend to be honest. I don't play that stuff. I either made the moves because I wanted to fuck you or date you, not be elevated to personal girlfriend status. So when she's not interested I just move on. Doesn't mean I won't still say hello or not talk, but I'm not interested in just being friends.

[JSmuve]

I think it's because of the number of options the average guy has. If a guy is dating 3 different women, he's not gonna care if a fourth one rejects him. However, if a guy puts effort into the only prospect that he's had in the last 6 months, then it's gonna hit differently if he gets rejected because who knows when the next opportunity will come.

[maximumpower]

They don't appreciate it.
Asking for a date is a request to pursue "more than friend" zone.
Gals opting to go out "as a friend" need to be prepared to pay their own way and step aside if a more promising opportunity arises - even if she's right there at the time.

[dustybiker]

It’s okay to not feel attraction, be honest and not waste a persons time too. The tricks are being kind rejecting, and being brave asking someone out and knowing it’s possible you won’t get a chance with them.

[Anonymous]

It's not entitlement, it's a waste of my time. If I wanted to be just a friend, I'd have asked her to be my friend, instead she wasted my time and money.. Women who do that, I ghost, I treat them like they don't exist. 9 times out of 10 she comes crawling back.. And my one and only response is "you had your chance"

[Sarahplus2]

I have never put someone in the friend zone who asked me out on a date. Sounds petty to do that with someone. I have always had more guy friends and a small handful of women friends.

[KrakenAttackin]

@Sarahplus2 No friend zone? And yet you have mostly guy friends and a picture of your crotch as your avatar.

[Sarahplus2]

Friend zone is where all my friends are. I have a lot of male friends but some really close women friends. You are a crotch cause your are a guy I see a pic without my face

[Sour-rose]

It hurts to not get what you want. :) Especially fake love they might see as true love... but it's just they wanna fk something

[RagnarRedbeard]

Being friend-zoned just means being rejected as a romantic/sexual partner. Being rejected sucks for anybody.

[Guy13]

It is perceived as failure by the guy. We’ve got enough friends. We’re not asking you out to be friends…just go on ‼️

[AviatorTom]

A man usually asks a woman out for more than friendship, in hopes that a relationship might develop, and when it doesn't, that hurts.

[Paul_in_Indy]

You can’t get your dick wet in the friend zone.

[Anonymous]

that's when you give the bitch the middle finger and whip out your dick and show her your dick either through pictures or in person and tell the bitch to suck on it

i did that many many years ago to a few cunts and it worked great finally got closure and satisfaction and felt avenged

[SolitarySolace]

I just don’t even try. If a woman is interested she will make it known to me and I will decide. If there aren’t any women who do come to me then I’m far better off without them.