Is it normal to not feel shame?

Question

I've been told a few times by acquaintances and family members that I lack any sense of shame and I have no morals whatsoever. I also believe this to be true of myself. I do in fact lack any sense of shame and my moral compass is very loose.

I work as an exotic dancer, I have no qualms about getting completely naked in front of a crowd of complete strangers, I have no issues with mingling with crowds of men at the club's bar while topless, where I play drinking games with them, I allow them to do body shots off of me, I allow them to pour beer all over me, then I dance for them, I grind my ass on their crotches, I allow them to grope every inch of my body, and I even made out with a few of them. These kinds of interactions would make other girls develop PTSD, even the other dancers, and the manager of the club stopped allowing me to do this because he got sick of watching me getting degraded, but I didn't mind it.

I also perform sex acts on male friends, including those already in relationships, and my last two relationships were open relationships where I had sex partners on the side.

I am a former drug addict, I'm a boozer, and I tend to blow much of my money on jewelry and expensive clothes.

I should feel ashamed of myself, for being the way I am, but I don't and I have no concept of morality. My life can spiral into chaos and destruction at any moment like it did back in 2016/2017 when a close friend of mine was abducted, raped, beaten to death, and left to die across the Mexican border, and I'm afraid that I'll once again fail to internalize those lessons.

I don't think I'm normal, not in the slightest.

What is wrong with me? Do you think I'm a sociopath?

Marushka · Accepted Answer

Omfg some of those comments gave me an aneurism.

A lack of shame and morality can be an indicator for anti-social-personality-disorder (there's no diagnosis for sociopathy itself). The inability to learn form past mistakes is another indicator. With this limited information it's not possible to say if or what you have. And if you really want to know you need to go to a professional for a proper diagnosis. Also you might just be the type of person to not feel shame for those things while also taking more risks.

Should you feel ashamed? Hell nah. Honestly the only thing I could get people making you feel ashamed for is fucking guys in relationships. Other than that who cares? If you feel comfortable showing and sharing your body more power to you. Open relationship are dope af. Doing drugs/drinking is your own business and ultimately it depends on what you want from your life. If you have the money to spend on shit you enjoy that's great. You and everyone is responsible for their own happiness and should do what they enjoy and as long as it doesn't affect others, people should look at their own shit. There's no shame in most you described anyway, just people thinking there should be and trying to implement it in others.

In the end as long as you're ready to bear the potential consequences of your actions who fucking cares?

Snsl153 · Accepted Answer

Yes, I think you're a sociopath. You fit the profile almost perfectly.

SamIam96 · Accepted Answer

There are many dimensions to this question.

When you talked about your life spiraling into chaos after your friend was abducted, that sounds like you were deeply impacted the way any reasonable person would be. No one teaches us how to cope with horrific experiences. That's why soldiers (and probably you) get PTSD. Ideally, we'd all run to a therapist when those things happen, the same way we run to an emergency room when our bodies are broken. Our mental healthcare system doesn't work. Ask anyone who lives under a bridge.

Regarding your sexual behavior. If you were a guy, I don't think anyone would be surprised by what you do. You may be more promiscuous than most people, but as long as you're comfortable with your behavior, I don't think it's a problem when consenting adults have a lot of sex.

So no, I don't think you're a sociopath. I think you're pretty self-aware and possibly a little self-destructive. If you have insurance, talk to a psychiatrist/psychologist/social worker. It's a long process, but would help you sort out your feelings.

wheist9095 · Accepted Answer

No you're not a sociopath, a sociopath doesn't have empathy for other people. You're a very free person, there's not really any type of condition that a person can have to have that lack of inhibition that you do. Morality is a social construct, and what you consider more or immoral has no bearing on who you are as a person, just how society as a whole views you. That being said I got no idea what the fuck is up with you. I've met plenty of sexually free people, who do all the sexual shit that you do. The drugs and the inhibitions are both and the fear of getting too deep into that life and having a terrible end is also pretty normal. If anything I would have to guess that your problem is that you had too much freedom with too few consequences,

Finchie40 · Answer

It sounds like you have some pass trauma that maybe occurred when you were a child , I knew a girl like this that sounds just like you , we use to fool around until I found out the truth about her that she got around but she hooked me in when we first met cuz she was all over me , and she was pretty hot , and she was a stripper as well and not going to lie I had a lot of fun with her but sadly the truth was coming out about her from other friends that she couldn’t stay committed and that she was a whore , so I ended it with her , but she didn’t give up on me and kept buying me gifts and showing up at my home wanting to be with me , some how she would get me into bed lol but I made sure I wore a condom , she confessed the truth to me she had a shitty child life and it’s hard for her to stay committed to someone but she was obsessed with me and told me she wouldn’t cheat on me and she would say the sweetest things to me , The sex was amazing and the way she treated me was amazing as well she had a way with words but sadly she couldn’t stay faithful so I ended up dumping her and made sure my ass got tested for any STD’s , I did meet her parents on different occasions and her parents were divorced , I could tell that her Mom was a whore herself and wasn’t really a parent to her daughter the Mom was very open about her sexuality and could tell she liked to party , the first time I met her Mom her Mom said to her daughter that if you don’t keep this one send him my way I will keep him smiling , I honestly laughed out loud and thought wow what kind of Mom says this shit to her daughter and I started to understand why her daughter is the way she is now , When I met her Dad , he seemed like he just didn’t give a fuck about anything and didn’t really care if his daughter existed or not , I felt bad for her honestly , but I just couldn’t stay with a girl that jumped from cock to cock , it was dirty and degrading to me so I ended it with her , because she couldn’t stay faithful to me so I ended it with her , she started showing up with more gifts but at that time I was over her , if she didn’t cheat on me I probably would of stayed with her.

Light909090 · Answer

It’s normal to not have emotions.
Some have emotions, others don’t
The ones that don’t are better off if they can develop a Conscience.
Or at least a sense of Morality.
Those without emotions are best at developing morals from Caring about health. Psychopaths usually go for Being health nuts because it’s the easiest to care about.
It will take some time but if your willing and Take the conscious effort to study health and hate on those that don’t care about there health you’ll see improvements in your morality and sense of Justice.
You’ll never gain empathy back but you will gain morals and your own sense of Justice and it will be unique to you.

Anonymous · Answer

I understand you've been reflecting on your sense of shame and moral
compass. In times like these, turning to sources of guidance can be
beneficial. Consider exploring passages from Proverbs in the Bible; it
offers wisdom on virtues and moral conduct. Reflecting on these
teachings might provide insights and help in your journey of
self-discovery. If you feel comfortable, reaching out to a trusted religious leader for support and prayer could be
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SixFootSexy · Answer

We live in a shameless society. People are numb to shame because there are so many subcultures that exist that if you don't "fit in" there are a million other groups to join. I don't think it makes you unusual. Food for thought, if you feel like you should experience guilt but don't, is it your morality that is broken? Or your sense of shame?

Crafteroon · Answer

There's people who feel shame about following their urges in situations where no one gets hurt. You're just in the opposite direction.

Not telling you to try and feel shame, but thinking about how others might feel in certain situations might help their impression of you.

Th3ft · Answer

I don’t think there is anything wrong with you! I just think that you have chosen to be kisser then most. And that is fine. But if you do have an issue with the way you are then maybe you should go talk to a counselor. Then again I think you have mentioned before already having done that. Lol! So I mean maybe this is something new to bring up to them.

SaraSmith24 · Answer

You aren't, But your mood is an animal and it need to be tamed. Especially drugs Leave it, even gradually or directly, there is no problem with treatment, and try to find any job you like, that's not shame that's life!!!

mommymommymommy · Answer

As long as you aren't "hurting" others, you should be able to do whatever you want in this life, no matter how "destructive" it is, to yourself. That's the beauty of a free country, right?

JessicaEarl · Answer

Were you said when that happened to your friend?

Jackblue · Answer

Well, it is hard to say what you are. Do you like to manipulate people, do you feel any guilt at all ever? The fact that you are scared indicates you are likely not a sociopath because they don't have a strong sense of fear.

elizamichale1 · Answer

No u r not honey... if girls like u n me started feeling shame how will we be able to petform n do our jobs huhh?

Billlewis · Answer

I think we should give her a break, and not be so judgmental of her.

Nikki1989 · Answer

People say the same shit about me. Just ignore them and just enjoy being you.

soe11 · Answer

Nothing to be shameful, every individual choice and Hobbes.

AngelOfLight258 · Answer

Those who do harm onto others should feel shame, not those who live life to its' fullest.

Anonymous · Answer

I don't know. We're you molested as a child. Did you grow up without a father. Women this way are usually this way due to some early trauma.

Anonymous · Answer

I know what you mean. One time I was in a hurry to get to Starbucks and I ran over someone’s dog but I didn’t really care because I really needed my espresso.

Staximus · Answer

Do you think you and your life don't matter?

Xtendable · Answer

You sound like you have thrown caution to the wind

juangonz14 · Answer

The emotions are there but you push them down subconsciously. Do your thing, stay safe though.

Is it normal to not feel shame?

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