Girls, Is it a good idea if a guy tells a girl prior to a date what his intentions are in like?

[Anonymous]

There’s a girl who wants to meet me in September but I was contemplating about telling her I’m trying to look for something serious. I’m older now, I’m in my 30s so my direction in life is exercising, my diet (how I stay in shape), finishing grad school, saving money and investing. But one thing is I want to start a family at some point. Her and I have a 10 year age gap difference. She does like me but I feel like her work life is hectic. Therefore, I’m not sure. If she isn’t ready for marriage, and I know that’s a huge commitment. I’m not going to say LETS GET MARRIED on the first date because that would be weird.

But a girl or woman should have an idea when she wants to start a family. I figure if I tell her she’ll know my intentions and if it’s not something in her cards then obviously I have to move on. I don’t want to date girls for fun and games. As crazy or shocking as this may seem to females not all guys and men want to deal with toxic people or have sex with women 24/7. A lot of guys I know want a peaceful relationship with someone sweet and hardworking and yes even attracted to. The same thing what women and girls want in a man or guy. Should I tell her my intentions before we meet or do you think that will scare her.

[_Maya_]

So yeah you can tell her what you are looking for. I am not for starting the family discussion. The problem is that sort of thing can change. This is very true in the case you present with her being 10 years (younger?) age gap. You ask her if she wants a family some day and she says no or I don't know and then what? Do you just call it quits after the first date? There is plenty of time to inquire about that. Use the first date to get to know her and see if you click. There is nothing wrong at all in saying you are looking for something serious though.

[Asker]

Well she told me she doesn’t think she wants to get married soon. I know she’s somewhat hurt by men or guys in the past so maybe that’s her way of dealing with things. Many girls nowadays it seems like they have that approach which I understand no one wants their heart broken or betrayed. But I don’t sleep around. I’ve been single for years and I don’t go out in the city on a Friday night trying to look to fuck a girl. I go to work, do university school stuff on the side and play video games or read or exercise in my bedroom.

[_Maya_]

She might open up to the right guy though. Sounds like you have your life together and maybe that is what she needs... a guy that has his stuff together.

[Adaeva]

Wait until the second date. If she likes you she will hang around for the second date. Then it is unlikely (90% vs 10%) that talking about marriage will scare her off. The main reason girls don't get married in their late teens or early twenties is because they chase after guys that are out of their league and reject guys within their league.

The reason is because they want the best that they can get and they believe they can get the best that will f**k them. However, guys date down for sex but they don't marry down. Therefore, they chase after guys that will not marry them.

[provokeesmokee]

It's a good idea to see if you'll be on the same page regarding kids. I'm childfree and tell people I'm dating that on the first date.

Not everyone wants kids, and some people really want them. It's best not to waste each others' time.

[Anonymous]

[Asker]

That meme doesn’t make sense

[Opinion Owner]

No girl is going to want your "intentions" or marriage on the first date, she's going to take it like you want to get married now.

[Sasha0426]

You should to see if she wants the same thing as you do.

[Sasha0426]

As for her work, what’s considered as hectic? What does she do?

[Asker]

She works like 10-12 hrs at time in the finance industry.