I’ve been single for 6 years and I’d been having trouble connecting with guys I was meeting. Both online and offline. I was starting to lose hope of meeting the right man. Suddenly, this quite articulate, attractive and seemingly nice man started talking to me online. It’s early days yet and could all lead to nothing and I’m prepared for that possibility, but for the first time in a few years, someone actually interests me. We’re taking it slowly to start as friends and going on a ‘getting to know each other;’ catch up; to see where things might (or might not); lead in the future. I want to impress him a bit, without coming across as a try hard. What kind of outfit should I wear when we catch up? Should I wear makeup? What kinds of things should I talk about? I’ve got Asperger’s, so I suck at flirting and banter. My sarcasm is good, but not great and I lack the sexual confidence normal women have in their bodies, although I was offered a few plus sized modelling opportunities. I’m worried I’m going to see overly tame, naive and dull. I do look very innocent for a woman of my age and experience.
This is my advice sis:
Don't stress too much about trying to impress him - just be your genuine self! He seems interested in getting to know the real you already.
For the outfit, go with something comfortable that you feel confident in. Maybe a cute top and jeans? Makeup is optional if you enjoy it, but you definitely don't need it.
As for conversation, talk about things you're truly passionate about - your hobbies, interests, dreams for the future. Guys love a girl who lights up when she talks about meaningful stuff.
Don't put pressure on yourself to be overly flirty or sexual yet since you're just starting as friends. Let things develop naturally. If sarcasm is your jam, lean into that - self-deprecating humor shows you don't take yourself too seriously.
Mostly just listen and ask him questions too so he feels heard. Connection happens through shared understanding. You've got this sis! Just be your best you. Chin up - this could be the start of something beautiful.
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be yourself, if he's yours. try to living together for marriage...
when he interested in makeup or... then prepare yourself...
being love towards that person enough... love makes everything beautiful and cute.. trust me... he will like you for being yourself...
As someone who also has Asperger’s, I had to look up on YouTube how to be a more feminine woman. I really think it’s helpful to look at those videos because I too have an issue reading social cues of all sorts and a big issue I had was eye contact and knowing how to dress feminine. I think that can be really helpful. Thewizardliz on YouTube has done wonders for my self esteem being on the spectrum!!
I think you should definitely still always be yourself. Wear what you’re comfortable in and realize, if he likes you, it doesn’t matter what you wear. No need to overthink. Like I said, if there are some areas you feel you struggle in, watch videos on it. It really helps! Good luck, you got this!
First impressions are all about confidence and genuine interest! Be yourself, smile, and make eye contact. Show you're interested in him by asking questions and listening actively. A little lighthearted compliment can't hurt either, but focus on getting to know him. If you're having a good conversation and laughing, you're already winning!
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If you think you would be doing well, there is nothing you can do because there is no magic. However, if he thinks he is doing well, you can do no wrong but such a guy is automatically rejected by you.
During the last six years, there have been numerous guys that wanted you, if you had only given them a chance. However, they don't count because they don't meet your standards.
You are 15 years past your prime so you have to be willing to settle for who you can get or do without. Guys you rejected during your prime, no longer want you. For short-term sex, a guy will be nice but if he is out of your league to expect anything more is almost hopeless.
Be authentic.
Listen, don't just think about what you're going to say next when he's talking to you, but listen to him.
Ask about his interests and find shared insterest and ask questions.
Don't make too much change in yourself.
Stay simple as you live normally.
If you make first move somehow then it will be good but don't give mixed signals.Just muster your confidence walk up and start a conversation easy.
BE YOU!! If he balks, fuck him and his ego. You are worthy and worth investment.
If you want him to live the real you, then be how you normally would.
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