Why “Grandpa” is a G@G User

OlderAndWiser u
This is a grandfather, but it's not me.  One clue:  I don't have any grandchildren!
This is a grandfather, but it's not me. One clue: I don't have any grandchildren!

Yes, I am 63 years old and I am old enough to be the grandfather to most users on this site. I have been a user on G@G since April 10, 2015. Why am I here giving dating advice to young people who could be my grandchildren? What do I know about what happens in relationships in your generation?

Why am I here? I don’t have children or grandchildren. I really like working with young people between the ages of 13 and 25. I have mentored junior high and high school students as well as college students for the past 10 years. I enjoy the interactions and I like helping young people navigate the path to adulthood and responsible autonomy. I enjoy being on G@G and sometimes giving advice that is received, considered, and acted upon. It makes me feel good!

What do I know about anything? Actually, despite the hostile "jokes" which I sometimes encounter, I am not senile. My memory works very well. I remember being young and dating young girls. I remember thinking that I was very different from everyone who came before me. I just thought that I wasn’t like all the old people around me.

Every old man was once a young man!
Every old man was once a young man!

Once upon a time, I was young! Of course I was right! I wasn’t like those old folks! Obviously, I was young and I had discovered things that they could not possibly have discovered . . . like sex, GOOD music, fun, sex . . . you know. Actually, I was like what those old folks had been like when they were young but it didn't occur to me that they had once been young men and women. I had no inkling that, one day, I would be 50 or 60 years old and I would be very much like they were when they were older. And now . . . here I am, like those old folks were back then, and that‘s okay. One day, many years from now, YOU will be like the old folks that you know now (unless you die prematurely, and I pray that you will not.) Yes, once upon a time, I was like you. Once upon a time, your great-grandparents were like you! They weren’t ALWAYS 147 years old!

Human nature hasn’t changed. Despite your perception that you are vastly different from everything that preceded you, the fact is that human nature changes very slowly. VERY slowly! When my grandparents were youngsters – in the very early 1900’s – there were guys and girls who were assertive, bold, and confident, and there were guys and girls who were shy and timid. There were guys who only wanted sex and there were guys who wanted to find a mate for marriage. There were people who trusted their partners and there were people who were jealous and constantly afraid of being abandoned. There were girls who married a guy for his wealth and girls that married for love. Some girls married so that they could escape from their parents’ home. Some guys married a girl because she was a “trophy” wife and some guys married a girl because they thought she would be a good wife and a good mother.

Gives new meaning to the expression
Gives new meaning to the expression "trophy wife!"

Does any of this sound familiar? It sounds exactly like my generation and it sounds like everything that I know about your generation.

The differences don’t make a difference. Are there any differences? For my grandparents, an exciting date would be taking a girl to a “talking movie” on a Saturday afternoon. For those slightly older, they might go to a speakeasy to imbibe in illegal alcohol (remember Prohibition?) and listen to Dixieland jazz on a Saturday night. Many of your generation avoid things that sound like a formal date and you just invite someone to “chill” or hangout. However, my grandmother may have invited my grandfather to her house for dinner and, afterwards, they sat on the front porch and “chilled,” but they just didn’t call it “chillin.’” While you might send a text to your love interest, they would call him or her on the phone (if they had a phone in their home.) They lived in different times and of course there were differences in their lives, but their goals, dreams, and aspirations were very similar to yours.

Boy meets girl c. 1930
Boy meets girl c. 1930
Boy meets girl 2018
Boy meets girl 2018

Boy meets girl is the same old story! However, what people want in a relationship hasn’t changed. You want a partner who will love you, and only you. You want a partner who will stand by you when you are facing difficulties. You want a partner who you are proud to have by your side. You want a partner who will bear a share of the burdens and not simply sit on their throne while you do the work. You want a partner who you trust will be a good role model for your children when that time comes. You want a partner who knows how to have fun when it is time to have fun. When you strip away the technological changes, what transpires between men and women is unchanged.

I have learned from having had at least 150 first dates. I have had about 15 relationships which lasted at least a few months, and 10 which have lasted 6 months or longer. The lessons I learned are applicable today. Many of those lessons apply equally to women of all ages. Sixty year old women are just girls with older bodies. When I was young, I learned about young girls and what I learned about them still applies to young girls today.

“Go away, Grandpa!” If you want to reply and say “Go away, Grandpa,” you won’t be the first to tell me that. You certainly aren’t required to listen to my advice, just like you weren’t required to read this myTake . . . but I won’t go away. Many of you have thanked me for being here, for providing advice which you considered and incorporated as you made decisions about your relationships. That is the reward for me and it keeps me returning to this site.

“Go away perv!” If you want to accuse me of being a perv . . . I feel sorry for anyone who gets their kicks by making unfounded accusations; I know that I have never had any improper conversation with any user on this site. I date in my age range and I am currently living with my girlfriend - hopefully future wife - who is 57 years old.

I hope you will continue to listen to what I say on this site because, you may be going places, but I'm not going anywhere!

"I'll be here when you come back this afternoon!"
Why “Grandpa” is a G@G User
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Most Helpful Guys

  • MarkRet

    This is a good Take. You always have good advice. Even though we're around the same age, and I try to help with advice too, you're a little better focused than I am. Sometimes I get the "You're an old guy. What are you doing on this site?", but I ignore that. Actually, I get on here cause I get kinda bored sometimes.

    By the way, what's with the girl's head on a trophy? Was that made as a joke, or is a guy supposed to 'do' something with it? LOL!!!

    Like 2 People
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    • It is a humorous (at least I thought it was humorous) reference to the "trophy wife" that I mentioned in the body of the myTake.

    • MarkRet

      Yeah, I know. Still, I could imagine a few guys ages ago imagining that head as their 'fantasy girl'. LMAO!! I once knew a single guy who was showing me his apartment, and on the inside of his bedroom door was this poster of a naked life-size foxy woman. I was thinking, "And you do WHAT with this poster?"

    • I think you know what he does with that poster, LOL!

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  • Anonymous

    I just wanted to take the time to say thank you! You've helped me multiple times in the past as well as countless others you are by far the person I respect the most on this site and I always look forward to reading your takes and opinions.

    Like 2 People
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Most Helpful Girls

  • FlutteringFeelings

    You've been on GAG for a very, long, time and i am still friends with you i remember when you had just a few followers and made your daily posts about the world or our thoughts on society. I hope you continue to help and use this site as an advantage because believe it or not i was 16 receiving advice from you and now i'm 19 i've grown a lot (mentally).

    Like 2 People
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  • MlleCake

    They never accuse me of being a perv, just a dried up old sexless hag.

    I don't always agree with you but I see you as a trustworthy person to be talking to young people.

    Like 6 People
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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • JimRSmith

    Excellent take.

    However, it shouldn't need to be said, though. The mentality of people who 'already know it all' when they're in their teens and 20s always makes me roll my eyes, but I was like that once (I think).

    If I had to make a shortlist of people who contribute the most to the site, and whose absence would diminish it significantly, your name would certainly be on that list.

    The "Grandpa" and particularly the "perve" comments are beneath contempt. I've already commented on this a few times previously, so on this occasion I'll save my breath, because you already know my thoughts about that.

    LikeDisagree 3 People
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  • Pink2000

    I imagine all oldpeople as if they were young.

    Like 4 People
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  • Blunique

    Great mytake. I actually respect my elders so you won't see me being rude. But you are young. My parents are older than you. My dad is 64 and my mom is 70. My grandparents were in their 80s and 90s. They aren't with us anymore though.

    It's funny I grew up watching and learning baby boomer history, tv shows, movies. Actors, singers, everything. I know it all. One of the most beautiful women to me was Linda Evans when she was younger. Do you agree or disagree?

    I'm surprised men tried to use women for sex back in the day. If women had sex back then, they were immediately whores. Basically no man would want to marry them if they aren't a virgin anymore, right? So how can a guy try to have sex when the woman is basically trash to all other men after that? It's unfair and cruel.

    I find dating easier back then. Guys were gentlemen, right? They treated women with respect. Took things slow, wanted something serious and did everything the right way. Not today where guys expect sex right away. Back then guys definitely didn't expect sex right away.

    "I really like working with young people between the ages of 13 and 25." In two years when I turn 26 will I be cut off?

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    • No, you will not be cutoff. That is the age of the oldest college students I mentor.

  • HungLikeAHorsefly

    I'm younger than you are, but I still have a lot of SMDH situations when I read what some of the young bucks post on here. Some things never change. What you do have to realize, though, is that young people rarely take the advice of older people seriously.

    Have people really accused you of being senile?

    Like 3 People
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    • I get comments at 7:30 pm that I am up past my bedtime, I need to take my Geritol and go to sleep. How did I escape from the nursing home? I am out of touch with reality. And I get other similar comments.

      I understand that most young people will not listen, they will want to make their own mistakes and learn their own lessons - just like my generation reacted to the older folks, but occasionally some of them listen.

    • Yeah, right. Like nursing homes don't have WiFi these days ;)

      I've been accused of being an old pervert (by a dude) for simply saying something non-sexual to a younger woman on here. I mean, I'm a perv but I'm not that old...

  • SAgalactiae

    I haven't been around the site that long. Going by some of the answers, I'm not sure how serious people are about giving advice on here. This was definitely a nice take.

    Although I'm not 25, It'd be nice if i can get your take on a situation. Let me know if you want to have a listen?

    Like 1 Person
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    • I frequently get requests for "private consultations." :) I enjoy the opportunity to help people when I can. PM me and tell me as much as you can. If you can PM me now, I will respond later today. I am going to my office for a half-day today.

    • And, you're not old enough to be my grandpa. :D

    • Can I direct you to one of my previous questions for the time being? I can't type out the details right now.

      Girl won't take a hint? ↗

  • simplyaramdomgirl

    Amazing take! You do give great advise and I believe in the wisdom of older people. It's foolish to think that just because it's new to you, it's new to the world. You keep on giving your advice and I wish you and your girlfriend the best!

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  • ShadowofRegret

    I do not know if anyone will read this since it is from 10 months ago, but...

    I always thought you gave good advice, you are one of the few members on this site who actually tries to help people, and for that, I have much respect for you sir, I pray that the Lord will richly bless you and your girlfriend.😊

    Like 1 Person
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    • Yes, even after two years or more, I will read every reply to anything I have ever posted.

      I am glad that there are people who express their appreciation for my presence and I intend to be here for many more years! Thanks for the kind words.

    • Glad to hear that, and thank you for always being here for us.

  • QueenofCups

    This actually made me cry. Of course, I cry at a lot of stuff, but still. You're a good guy and I'm sure you're a good lawyer.

    Like 4 People
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    • I am regarded as competent and I have an AV rating.

      I hope you are doing well with your personal matters.

  • Harsh_Ch

    @OlderAndWiser

    This is an inspiring Take

    I just hate the way how the kids of my generation show their disrespect to someone so elderly, friendly and trying to give a good advice from a different standpoint such as you do😒

    Though I don't know you much, your actions speak louder so I thank you for trying to help out the delinquents around here 😀

    And I really, really want to punch the person in the face who said you were a perv 😡

    Like 2 People
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  • apple24

    Can you enlighten me? Does the outcast ever get married? The outcast who also a loner who also average looking who also very shelter who also a virgin... does that girl live happily ever after?

    Like 4 People
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    • apple24

      P. S. I love ❤️ your opinions

    • Belgie

      Average looking sheltered virgin girls can still live happily ever after. But no guy is coming on a white horse to beat down your door and find you.

      You should work on not being a loner. Get out there, and meet people. They will not find you all tucked away in your fortress of solitude.

    • I concur with the comments from @Belgie. Just look around you at the couples walking hand-in-hand through the mall. By definition, most of them are average. The found someone. And it appears that they are happy. But Mr. Right will not come knocking on your door asking of you are ready to escape from your self-imposed exile. Get out there and meet people. Volunteer. Take classes. Use online dating sites. Make yourself visible. Guys do not have x-ray vision so they can't look through your front door to see that there is a nice lady waiting inside.

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  • AnnieBabe

    I don't know why but this take made me emotional. It's so sweet and caring of you to care about random young strangers and bother to give us advice that'll actually help us. Thank you so very much. 😊

    Like 3 People
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  • OldSchool_Metalhead

    I think its awesome having an older G@G user here. It means you have more wisdom and life experience that we can learn from :)

    Like 3 People
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  • Iron_Man

    Nice Take I've been here myself since 2011. I hope you don't think of yourself as a Grandpa you are still working you got a long life ahead of you. Look at Sylvester Stallone still making Rocky movies AKA Creed in his early 70s

    Like 3 People
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    • You are right. I am healthy and active and have not yet made any reservations at a nursing home! :) Thanks!

    • Iron_Man

      You don't need it you're working man that can take care of business

  • partydelights

    Hey Wise Old Elf, what a GREAT take!!!

    And thanks for trying so hard to assist younger persons who feel liberated through promiscuity. Regrets most of the time come too late. So your words are precious.

    Yes, watching older movies like the Sound of Music made me appreciate true dating with the presence of a "chaperon". And as a person who saves his virginity until marriage, I think there is wisdom in doing so.

    Congratulations!

    Like 2 People
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  • Soft4u

    Thank you for a very interesting well written article, that made me think of my parents and grandparents a little bit differently.
    My parents are in their late 40's I could not see them ever having sex, they must have I'm here. lol What I mean is I didn't think they had any fun when they were younger, I'm sure they did I only wish I realized this years ago, maybe there wouldn't be a communication problem between us now.
    Thanks again, don't pay attention to the negative comments, the anonymous mouths who don't have the heart to identify who they are, yeah they annoy me as well.

    Like 3 People
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    • It is never too late to approach your parents with a slightly different attitude about things!

    • Soft4u

      You're right I'm going to do that, thanks for the push I needed.

    • They have probably been hoping for it. You will definitely make their day!

  • rose004b

    I'm glad you're here. I'm not a very active user, I'm more of a lurker. I only keep my G@G account because you and a couple other users post sensible opinions and/or myTakes that I find worth reading.

    Like 2 People
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  • Volvagia

    That female head is terrifying holy f did people actually have that on their walls? How did they sleep at night?, creepy af

    Like 3 People
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    • I have never seen one of those things in person. When I googled for a picture to illustrate "trophy wife," that was one of the first items in results and I used it just because it was such an eye catcher!

  • Keyboardkat

    I have you beat! I'm 73 and counting. I don't think you were around in the '30s, because I was born in '45 and I lived through the '60s, with hippies, free love, Strawberry Fields, Woodstock, you name it.
    And, Ms. Anonymous notwithstanding, I am not a pervert, either. I have been married 47 years, and have three wonderful grown daughters and 12 grandchildren, and I'm not "on the prowl." But I do think that I can offer some useful advice to younger people, as I believe I already have. Because whatever mistakes they're making, I've already made, and learned from, the same mistakes, and so have you. The toughest lesson I've learned: Never let your heart rule your head!

    Like 2 People
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    • That's one "competition" that I don't mind losing! I'm glad to have company in the seniors department!

  • NEOTUNIA2U

    Your comments are usually sensible. Thanks for allowing me to know you better.

    Like 2 People
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  • Paris13

    Beautiful MyTake, @OlderAndWiser, And Also... AN ICON, hun!!! xxoo

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