Why I'm Not A Good (Enough) Person

[Jean-Marie_Céline]

Right before we start, I want to precise this isn't a self-pitying post, nor is addressed to fish compliment or shoulder pats.

It's a statement of my line of thought and something I wanted to write down for some time.
Don't worry, I promise to make it short as to not bore you.

One of my most recurring feelings is that I am a very lucky guy and at the same time, without any merit or deserving for it.
People are always very good and kind with me without me showing enough how much I appreciate it and how I deserve it : this goes from G@gers, to my family, girlfriend and friends.

The best thing about G@G is that I can express this feeling here without getting flak (or at least not too much), because when I do it with my girlfriend, friends and loved ones they always get very upset.
The fact is: things are going very well in my life, but I don't feel I deserve it.

First, work and money.

I work two jobs that I absolutely love, and this gives me a pretty good income from both, but while my work and effort are appreciated by my colleagues, I feel I could do a lot more, improve the quality and quantity of my service.

In both of these jobs, I'm in managing positions ( Chief assistant in my office, Provincial overseer in the cultural organization I work in), people give me responsibility and trust and I always do my best to show I deserve and to earn it.

Plus, I get more money for renting a housing my family gave me to manage alongside my sister - I do my best to it, but without that money I'd not be so well off at 21.

Friends and family

Despite having a great relationship with my family and having a lot of friends, I constantly feel I can't quite match up their level and they always have to put up with my fumbling and pedantry.

This is especially true in regards to my older sisters who despite having career and marriage on their hands, always make time for me; or a female friend of mine who always helps me out with car pooling and other issues.

I always do my best to be helpful and pay back their kindness, and I mostly succeed.

Then, my girlfriend.

A genial, beautiful, driven and wonderful woman that for some obscure reason choose a short, nearsighted and plumpy toady like me as her partner.

On this, I can't really believe my luck, to have found such a divine woman who gets so happy and excited when I gift her a new book/movie or I cook her favorite dish, grateful like I gave her the moon.

So, those are my thoughts.

Am I complaining? No, and I'm sorry if I gave the impression.

Do I feel extremely lucky? Of course I do.

Do I want to put to use my self-criticism to improve myself, my life and the lives of those around me? Of course.

The thing that drives me to do better and be improve and always be of help is this, and to me this is a good way to live life.

Also,I wish to thank all those people, you fellow G@gers included, to be part of my life and always help me out with your kindness and generosity.

Thank you!

Thanks for reading

Jean-Marie

[OlderAndWiser]

One of the mistakes that many people make is comparing their life to others.

You look at yourself and you know every intimate detail of your existence. You know about how you wanted to punch out a guy who was rude to you while driving, you know about when you fantasized killing your noisy neighbor, you know about your constant insecurities, etc. You know every unpleasant thing that has ever happened in your life.

You then look at others and all you see is the outward persona that they project. You don't know about their insecurities and fears, you think that your co-worker has a perfect life but you don't know about his drug addicted son or hostile, abusive mother. You don't know about all the sufferings of others.

So then you compare EVERYTHING that you know about your life to the LIMITED INFORMATION that you know about others and it is no surprise that you feel your life does not measure favorably compared to their lives. The thing that's even worse is that many, many people feel the same way as you, but they never admit it aloud, so you think you are the only one on the planet feeling so inadequate. Even some of those who you respect and admire for their lives could tell you many dark secrets if they relaxed their inhibitions.

I understand your feelings. You feel that you are uniquely unqualified to have the life that you do. It reminds me of one of my favorite quotes:

"Never forget that you are absolutely unique. . . just like everyone else!" -- Margaret Mead

[Jean-Marie_Céline]

Thank you for your wise and supporting words, I wholeheartedly appreciate them!
You make an excellent observation, it's true that people show only what they want to show and project the persona they want.

I admit your words are making me think and I'll surely be looking at life and people in a different way.
It has happened that friends, family members and my girlfriend shared "heavy stuff" with me, and I admit it shocked me because I didn't expect people like them to have that kind of problems, and although my perception of them changed, it was positively - for the way they faced their problems.

I really like the last quite you posted - it's so true and beautiful.
Thank you for your in-depth opinion and wise words!

[OlderAndWiser]

I am always happy to know that my words are appreciated!

[Jean-Marie_Céline]

You always help me out with my problems and I'm grateful of that my friend 👍.

[StingRayxoxo]

I feel this way often in my life too. This is all really wonderful. You've worked hard to get where you are. And your girlfriend, she chose you. Dont forget that!
Great take 😊😊

[Jean-Marie_Céline]

Thanks for your kind words and understanding 🙂!

[IlyaTheImpaler]

I'm quite impressed that you are an overseer and a chief at such young age (21!), from what I know of Warcraft, such titles are only given to really old and powerful creatures (like bosses). So the reasons for the why in the title are: being short, being toady, the fumbling and pedantry, and finally you feel that your friends, family and girlfriend are too good for you. Since you are aware, now you can deal with these flaws and make the best out of them (let's not talk about erasing these traits, I think some of them have positive aspects and it's all about finding a good balance).

(I am super pedantic too, like extremely pedantic that my mom told me I wouldn't be able to find a woman who could suffer me and my penchant for over analyzing things 😂)

[Jean-Marie_Céline]

Thank you for your kind words and suggestion, I wholeheartedly appreciate them!
Well, to get Provincial overseer I started being involved in this organization since I was very young, did volunteer work for it in my school and accepted a formal job as soon as I got 18. I posted the pic of the Regional council both here and on my profile.
For the other job, I'm lucky it's a company that gives a lot if chances if you work well.

You are right, I'll keep working on those traits (as it's the point of the Take) to get better and keep improving my life and the lives of those around me.

P. S.
If you want to know a secret, my girlfriend is as pedantic as me and a bureaucrat, so she likes that part of me 😂.

[I_love_rain]

Only you can decide if you are good enough and to be honesty from is easier when you believe you are worth while but always trying to improve

[ChocolateCheesecake]

Count your blessings
Be grateful
Take time to smile

[Popy393]

Great take thanks for sharing something so personal to our

[lovechantel_]

i can't read this without feeling like i'm going to get stabbed in the back

[Jean-Marie_Céline]

What do you mean?

[PrincessGrail]

Great Take! Very insightful.

[Jean-Marie_Céline]

Thank you!
I hope you enjoyed it 🙂!

[Anon-ymous1]

Agreed, we can all do better in this life.

[Jean-Marie_Céline]

Precisely my point!

[Anonymous]

Relax dude, you got it all covered.

[Jean-Marie_Céline]

Thank you.

[Secretgardenblood]

We are not good enough too

[Clarke498]

I'm not good because of my porn searches.

[RachelThorpe]

Great thoughts!

[hindril]

Very nice!