Do you absentmindedly touch a girl if you're thinking about her? Or?

[Anonymous]

I asked a related question on here and am curious, do you guys sit and sort of unconsciously play with the hands, hair, whatever of the girl you like? If you noticed what you were doing do you think you'd stop? And why do you do it/why stop? Is it bc she's on your mind? What if you're not sure if she likes you?
Was standing next to my guy friend and I thought he was playing with my hand and I looked down and he was "getting his phone out of his pocket" taking a long time and seemed not to notice that he kept brushing my hand a ton as he did it/was talking to his guy friends. He'll randomly play with my keys too and if he's lying near me watching a movie will absently touch my hair, head, hand, foot, whatever until he notices and then either jokingly poke me or stop.

Updates

+1 y

Anyone? Am wondering how unconscious it really is... hmm.

Updates

+1 y

Lemme rephrase - if you absentmindedly touch a girl is it because she's on your mind?

[HandsomeRaj]

Not necessarily that if I touch a woman (avoidable though always) often that I'm thinking about her and I don't - not in the society I come from lol

In this case yes he's thinking about you - not if it's only sexual or otherwise is not ascertained by these actions :)

Some guys do this not all :)

[Asker]

Makes sense thank you! I think it's both sexual and not but maybe just a closeness thing.

[HandsomeRaj]

you're right - maybe :)

Insecurity is also a good reason when you constantly touch someone you like sexually or otherwise :)

[Asker]

I think he's afraid of losing me God forbid because he always gets upset if I talk about moving away for a job (and is like take me with you/I should move there for school/etc.) and gets jealous of other guys liking me.

[HandsomeRaj]

THAT is insecurity again partnered with liking :)

[Asker]

Do you think that might be why he seems to avoid touching me unless it appears I'm not paying attention (?) ?

[HandsomeRaj]

Yes it sure is the very reason :) - insecurity :D

[Asker]

I hope so God willing. Appreciate the help a lot - thx!

[HandsomeRaj]

It's and will always be my pleasure young lady :)

[Asker]

Hi :) would you mind taking a look at my recent question? Basically - the same guy was talking to me - I was talking actually and he was focused on my eyes and listening but I noticed his eyes unfocus slightly and look at... my mouth? Not far down enough to be something else - I think he was focusing on my lips but am not sure. He did it a couple times and it didn't look like he was bored lol. It looked more like he was trying not to get caught, or like he wasn't aware he was doing it.
What do you think he was doing? What does that mean if a guy does that, do you think?
like I don't know if it was on purpose or if he couldn't help himself lol but he seemed really subtle about it.

[HandsomeRaj]

Gosh this guy really wants you bad lol. Not amusing but it's a natural thing between humans. Oh yes he was looking at your lips alright cause he probably was fantasizing about kissing those :) nothing abnormal about that, pretty natural I must say. He sure finds you irresistible. I think he couldn't resist doing so, I doubt it was on purpose :)

I'll look up your question too now :)

[Asker]

The most most recent question about the one who wants to be with me isn't about this guy. I meant my question about "crush staring at my lips." Just FYI. :)

[Asker]

It seemed very much not-on-purpose slash trying-not-to (?) on his part. It was kind of cute actually. I did have chapped lips but I usually do (red not super dry) so I don't think it was like whoa what's wrong with her mouth lol. Glad to know you agree that it might've meant he wanted to kiss me. He sometimes gives me this melancholy vulnerable look when I turn around and catch him staring - like once I was adjusting his tie for him and I looked up and he had this look on his face of like... longing plus sadness.

[HandsomeRaj]

When you like someone sexually or otherwise chapped lips or not you find everything attractive and alluring about them :D

[RasmusAiken]

I'll absentmindedly touch myself when I'm thinking of my girl, lol. Sometimes I'll get too close and we'll bump and I'm not sure whether I've just elbowed her boob, or if she boobed my elbow but I'll always say "excuse me."

I would not get into your personal space like what you described.

[Asker]

I'm not sure why he does but I suspect it's not out of rudeness, he seems like he can't really help it or does it automatically. He seems consciously to try not to touch me actually which is a little confusing.
Also would you mind checking this out? www.girlsaskguys.com/.../q1156806-why-do-you-think-we-re-so-awkward-around-each-other
Thanks!

[molan]

No, I would consider it rude and bad behaviour.

However, he is trying to flirt with you - although not very successfully it might seems.

[Asker]

Hmm rude? How? I don't know how aware he is of it...
Haha am just too awkward to respond half the time. thanks btw!

[molan]

Well, I am old fashioned, never touch a lady without her consent - if I wants flirt I would use words only until I am confident she likes me, before ever touching her.

To touch a girl can be very invasive of her personal sphere, and therefore be characterised as rude or bad mannered.

[Asker]

I appreciate that a lot. And he's known me for a long time and we're comfortable around each other so I don't know...
He doesn't touch me other than hands and face and head (and gently) thank God.

[linuk]

This might seem strange but I eather get itchy or start petting my leg, not sexualy.

[Asker]

When you're thinking about her? And does the above sound like a reasonable explanation for what my guy friend does? Someone said maybe he just wants to keep me close (he gets upset about losing me God forbid either to moving or to a relationship) so maybe that's it... idk. You know how you absently reach for a phone or whatever just to know it's there?

[linuk]

I didn't understand the question fully when I first answered. I thought you meant when I am away from the girl. I personally purposefully keep myself unaltroly stiff when sitting next to her so I don't

[Asker]

Oh sorry it's kinda long - and yeah that's what I've wondered - he used to just kind of lean into me like sit with his leg against mine etc. but lately he's been pulling away and it's confusing but he'll kind of touch my hands and stuff or do too-long (!) high fives when he is supposedly not paying much attention. And stands really close sometimes and looks awkward.

[linuk]

I am guessing you are the one who posted tries not to touch me? To short?

[Asker]

Lol yup - someone's answer got me thinking so I posted this too.

[linuk]

If not I was going to point you there

[Asker]

Haha thanks :)

[Anonymous]

If I am touching her it us a conscience decision, and I m looking for a reaction. yes. If I like her and into her I will touch alot. If he is covertly touching then e wants to feel you touch him too I suppose

[Asker]

I tend not to react much but I do react, sort of... but I do playfully touch him and stuff. It's just w/this stuff I freeze up. I figured "not moving away" sort of counted.

[Asker]

Thanks for taking a look @the question btw!

[Opinion Owner]

your very welcome. abd yes not moving away is a reaction. lol. I couldnt take it to long tho. My hands wonder alot. I wouldn't stop at just your hands :)

[Asker]

Am super clueless and the most he's really tried is randomly taking my hand one day - I walked into his room and he was sitting on his bed and held out his hand to me and I took it without thinking - thought he wanted a high five or something - and he started to gently play with it, thought he was going to twine his fingers with mine but then we were interrupted. also like I may have said I was in the movie theater with him and instead of turning to whisper in my ear he put his entire cheek against mine - like if I'd turned at all I think we would have been kissing accidentally. and random footsie-ish but mostly he'll put his foot against mine and not move it away or lightly tap my foot with his.

[Opinion Owner]

between this post and your other question. to me sounds like He is a virgin. and not sure how to make firdt move. or not dure what to touch. Or afraid to touch other parts. or he isn't ready to go anu further.

[Asker]

he is a virgin and I would assume the rest are correct. he might also not want people to know how he feels about me.

[Opinion Owner]

sounds about right. but I can't relate about being a virgin been so many years lol. But will say thisI get aroused easily with touching and being touched. always have been that way. lol Im guesing he is working himself up even if its just slightly worked up.
anytime he is accidently touching you. you can. aleays find a way to accidently touch his. thang. then if he is hard. some questions are answered. and opens the door for more questions.
keep in mind you think he is afraid to let others know how he feels about you. you can bring this up alone.

[Asker]

:/ I feel kind of bad doing that to him - even if I touch his arm or whatever? like legit if I even touch his hand or something you think it does that to him? I have noticed that when he's asleep he doesn't really wake up easily but if I touch him or say his name he almost instantly wakes up and seems non-groggy. maybe like hyper-awareness of me?
once I was sitting next to him and he didn't look at me and his breathing was a lot faster than normal... and yeah in the past I think I've managed to do *something* to his system... but I can't tell you for sure bc I didn't want to look. But I'd guess 2-3 times at least. and I catch him watching me quite often.

[Opinion Owner]

yeah he is conscience and aware of you thats kinda flattering too, that he will wake just whispering his name. But dont feel bad doing that to him. You can make it seem like a mistake that your elbow or your hand brushes against it, when sitting next to him, when he wants to hold your hand. just rest it in his lap is all. as if that is naturally and most comfortable spot to place it, wait and see what happens. :) the change in breathing tells me he is really in like with you. maybe even in love with you

[Asker]

In love? How so - you think so? And it was a one time thing (the breathing) but I've caught him looking at me with a really vulnerable sad melancholy expression on his face before - like when I was fixing his tie I looked up and he was watching my face with this... look... like he wanted to tell me something but couldn't and was sad about it or like I was precious to him I don't know how to describe it. I've caught that a few times. Once he put on a song (one republic - "if you love somebody better tell them while they're here") for me to hear and I was half listening to the lyrics and looked up and found him looking down at me with the same vulnerable look. This was in front of people too.
Alternatively he looks at me in a very different way - dark or glittery eyes and looks at me way too long.
And he gets really upset when I talk about leaving our town and is like "don't leave me/take me with you/etc." and gets jealous of other guys liking me.

[Opinion Owner]

damm girl he is in love. the song that look. he is in love. you have a good dude.

[Asker]

Wow well am glad you think so- I think he is too God willing and have for a while. I appreciate all your help by the way!

[Opinion Owner]

your welcome. any time.

[Editor]

I think he's trying and failing to flirt with you. This isn't a common guy thing.

[Asker]

Lol and really?

[Editor]

Not the way you've described it, no.

[mario1321]

No he knew every touch he made, would it have been weird if he had starged playing with your hair?

[Asker]

I think he did too and I don't usually react bc I'm not sure/I feel awkward around his friends/other reasons but glad to know you think he was aware too. And yeah but not in the "eww" way - at least partly bc of what I said about his friends being there and partly for other reasons

[mario1321]

Trust me he knew wbat he was doing, its the oldest trick in the book, next time look him in the eyes and ask him "did you just touch me"it will throw him off balance and break the ice.

[Asker]

Haha what do you think he'd think or do if I started playing with his hands back and pretended not to notice what I was doing?

[mario1321]

He would be shocked and wouldn't know what too do, thats an excellent plan, it would be hilarious. then again he may just lean on in and give you some sugar

[Asker]

Hmm bc I've always felt too awkward to touch back but he's done this quite a bit. And he'll be like "my hair is soft feel it" so I do - and once he was even like "my face is really soft feel" and I did and he just kind of goes still and watches my eyes.
Once I was helping him put on a tie and I looked up and he had this look on this face that I've only seen in the movies - like... he wanted to say something or felt something strongly or didn't want to lose me or that I was precious to him somehow or something, he looked really vulnerable and like he had never seen something like me before (I know but best way to describe it) and it was really sweet thank God. Then he kind of realized I think and stopped watching my face or one of us broke the moment. He's done that at least twice too.

[mario1321]

He is begging you to kiss him. its only awkward when someone makes it awkward. wishing i was him right now.

[Asker]

Really you think so? It didn't seem sexual - it was more a look of "I love her so much and don't know how to tell her and don't want to lose her" (at least I hope so God willing - and maybe I'm reading into it but I seriously had that specific understanding when I saw the look on his face and in his eyes). Maybe both relate to a kiss actually.

Am good at making things awkward :/

[mario1321]

Kissing is not always sexual, its a natural part of life, its only sexual if you make it that way.

[Asker]

Like affectionate you mean? I just read the first mention of it as being sexual but maybe you didn't mean it that way?

[mario1321]

Not at all sex is for the bedroom, kissing is always acceptable, only a little different than hugging. it is a beautiful thing

[Asker]

So what type of kiss do you think he wanted when you first mentioned it? And I agree - I am just so used to getting sexual answers on here that I assumed.

[mario1321]

The way you described his look, any kind of kiss is what he wanted and wants. if he were a little more mature then he would have already made that move and been on to the next one, guys are idiots sometimes you have to lead us by the hand.

[Asker]

You're the second person tonight to say guys are idiots. Some maybe haha although I feel stupid for not being able to understand them sometimes.

Tonight he kind of followed me into the corner of the garage behind the car when I was trying to find a ping pong ball that had gone over there and it was like... he was standing too close, no reason for him to be there except to point out his old snowboard haha - I didn't know what to do - there was tension and we kind of inched around each other but I don't think we wanted to leave. And then it ended and we went back to the game. Am thinking he wanted something like a kiss or even just being able to hold me for a moment (and no he's not a weirdo God forbid - may have made it sound that way).

[mario1321]

What he is doing is trying too convince himself of kissing you, the only problem is he keeps telling him self its not the right time, and he feels awkward about almost doing it then backing out, he is confused. now its up too you, to let him make the move or go ahead and do it for him.

[Asker]

Sorry I fell asleep and thanks for your help!

[mario1321]

didn't mean too bore you so

[Asker]

Hahaha no it was after 2 AM lol

[mario1321]

Oh, yeah i was keeping you up, thanks for your patience,

[Asker]

You're fine it was very helpful and I had to stay up anyway. I kept refreshing the page lol bc I was interested to hear more :)

[mario1321]

So have you decided to wait on him, or will you make the first move

[Asker]

I don't know actually.

[mario1321]

Oh, having second thoughts, its good tonthink things thru, try and see every angle.

[Asker]

Hi :) would you mind taking a look at my recent question? Basically - the same guy was talking to me - I was talking actually and he was focused on my eyes and listening but I noticed his eyes unfocus slightly and look at... my mouth? Not far down enough to be something else - I think he was focusing on my lips but am not sure. He did it a couple times and it didn't look like he was bored lol. It looked more like he was trying not to get caught, or like he wasn't aware he was doing it.
What do you think he was doing? What does that mean if a guy does that, do you think?
like I don't know if it was on purpose or if he couldn't help himself lol but he seemed really subtle about it.

[mario1321]

he likes you but dont know where too look

[Asker]

He usually looks into my eyes like for a long time. Idk. And thanks for the reply! :)

[mario1321]

Eye contact can be nice or creepy.

[Asker]

Hi, would you mind taking a look at this question? It's related - thanks! www.girlsaskguys.com/.../q1156806-why-do-you-think-we-re-so-awkward-around-each-other

[Terrell456]

I don't know many women. I would not touch them because it's creepy and awkward if I don't know them.

[Asker]

Oh I mean a close guy friend