I caught him playing a solo on the Devils clarinet?

[Anonymous]

I walked into the room when he thought I was asleep and he was looking at his phone and touching himself. Most likely looking at something dirty. Obviously. Well the girl part of me wants to say wow he doesn't love me, I don't satisfy him anymore, he's more interested in other women, and I wanna see what the mystery girl on his phones screen has that I dont...
The rational side is saying everyone does it at one point or another and I have too and am not a hypocrite. He knows I saw him. He was acting all awkward and embarrassed trying to hide it and I didn't say a word about it I just acted like it never happened.
So why? Is he just doing that because I'm not good enough for him anymore? We've lived together for over a year, he works a lot and we are together 24/7 other than that and he always says he doesn't and I have never, ever seen him do anything like this before. What should I do? :(

Guys only do it when not satisfied with their girl. He has different tastes now.

Guys do it and it's nothing against you. (Please explain why ) :/

[selfishstars]

Masturbation is normal, even in a healthy and sexually-satisfying relationship. Sometimes you're horny and your partner isn't available or isn't in the mood. Or, sometimes you might want to masturbate even if your partner is available because, frankly, sex is more work than masturbation. Maybe you're tired after a long day at work and you don't have the energy to sexually satisfy yourself AND your partner. It's quicker and easier just to rub one out on your own.

The fact that he says that he doesn't masturbate (when clearly he does---since you saw him) and is embarrassed about it suggests that he might have some shame about it. Is he religious? Has he had previous partner (s) who were bothered by it? Have you ever expressed negative opinions about masturbation (or masturbation while in a relationship)?

My advice is to not make a big deal about it. If you feel the need to bring it up to him, then I'd just say something like, "It's okay if you masturbate, it's nothing to be embarrassed about".

The only time I would consider my partner's masturbation a problem is if we were having little to no sex, and he was choosing to masturbate instead of having sex with me. In that case, it would be important to communicate with him to find out why we were having intimacy issues.

[amybeelicious]

My fiance watches p*rn and plays with him self occasionally. Either when I'm not available or don't have time sex. I'm not offended by it and often watch it with him. He likes watching couples the resemble us so at least in my case he's not trying to look into something better. Most guys these days and some guys watch p*rn . Nothing to trip about. Try watching with him or talking.

[Scrambled]

There is a book called "Mating in Captivity' by Esther Purel That book is so brilliant in describing love and sex in long term relationships. Maybe you can spice it up for him, ask him what he was watching and see if you can do any of that (within boundaries obviously). Lol... the devils clarinet ha ha. Genius.

[Big_man]

ok first your way of describing masturbation is fucking hilarious. and second he's doing it because he's a guy. think of it this way, a person is stuck in the desert they will have as much water as they can get their hands on. water=orgasm. that's how it is for guys. he loves you don't worry

[Asker]

HA lol it's a reference from a tv show ;) I hoped someone would be as amused as I was when I heard it!
That makes sense, thank you. I hope so. He says he does every day but I don't want to be not good enough anymore.

[Big_man]

you are plenty good enough. just don't let it get to you :)

[TadCurious]

It doesn't mean he doesn't love you and isn't attracted to you. Really, it doesn't. Masturbation is a normal part of a person's life even when they have a sex partner. But he shouldn't lie about it to you. There's no need to.

[dragonslayer1516]

don't worry, your not doing anything wrong. its\'s just what guys do.

[Joee23]

Nothing to worry about. :)