Crush hates me now? Does he even like me anymore?

[Anonymous]

My crush acted shy towards me and I towards him. We were distance acquaintances at first and kind of still are... I guess. I got the bright idea to ask two or three of his friends about him when I stopped seeing him for a while - maybe I gave a bad signal? But then they started acting weird towards me and avoiding me. I didn't think anything of it but maybe I came off bad when I did that? I felt bad but I hid it and ignored them back.
Now they're back cool and normal towards me. Friendly even.

But now my crush is avoiding me !!
He was always a shy guy but this is different - he puts his head down and quickly walks past me if he sees me regardless if I actually see him. If he knows I'm going to be in one hallway he'll take the other. I figured maybe he's just really shy? Until... now today it just hanppened we almost ran into each other. I was coming out one corridor and he was about to come toward me - literally a foot away and as soon as he seen me he did a very fast dramatic 180 turn, mumbled something to himself I think?, and like power walked away from me

I. damn. near. cried.
I felt like I disgust him now or something.
It's like he doesn't even want me to recognize him even though we barely talk that much when we did see each other.

Did me asking about him embarrass him that badly? Has he lost all respect for me? Why is he acting like this?

[Anonymous]

I feel for you - I've had similar happen to me before with a shy guy... friend of a friend knew his mates and told them I liked him. Next time I saw them, one of his mates gave me a wink, smile and a thumbs up as if to say "dont worry, we're working on him". I could see them trying to encourage him. But the pressure must've just been too intense for him and he just backed away. Maybe in your case the friends tried to help also. I think these guys just really think they will disappoint you somehow and they backaway because they'd rather protect themselves from getting hurt than take a chance... and they've convinced themselves that they haven't got what you want. The only time I've seen a guy really run when a girl has liked him is when he's let her know many times that he's not interested and she kept hounding him. It doesn't seem like you did that at all (only let friends know). If he didn't like you he would just tell you - so he probably likes you, he knows you like him, but he's scared and doesn't think he can be what he thinks you want. Sadly it is his problem and sadly when he does have the guts to go out with a girl, you will probably find it is someone more in his comfortzone (ie less attractive).

[Kalinda]

Too many ifs ands and buts.

I know people suggest asking friends about says person but in my opinion it creates too many unknowns. like your current situation.

Is he shy is he upset I asked them does he Eden know is he ignoring me bc I like him is he ignoring me bc he likes me...

Next time just ask him out directly. Let him tell you himself if he's uninterested or not instead if you guessing.

You're not pushing him just by asking him out. He's free to say no. And that way he knows what's going in. People imagine things way worse than what us actually going on.

He'll be happy to know you're interested so he can tell you if he is interested or not. Problem solved. No ones confused.

And think in it. Wouldn't you rather a guy ask YOU about you , rather than you'd friends? It's kind of like saying you don't trust someone enough to speak with them... And if you don't trust them why should they trust you?

[iloveblacky123]

can't help you with this... I have the same exact problem!!! mine is shy and we were friends for a while. then i got him a Christmas present, which ruined everything. so i told him i just wanted to be friends. he was fine for a couple of days then started to get weird. He would ignore me if i talked to him and stares down at the ground. I seriously did the same thing you did i came around a corner and almost ran into him. He literally ran away, after mumbling sorry...
really i think both our crushes either like us or we have scared them away. i would sugest talking to him, but that turned out really bad for me. i think all shy guys are the same, unable to deal with feelings so they just run away.
your not alone sister though. Millions of us girls have the same problem
GUYS NEED TO SHAPE UP OR SHIP OUT!!! :[
hope this maybe helps...:) not the best advice i've given but i am blind with all of this... :P

[Asker]

Lol exactly! No, I agree with what you said. I thought taking that little step forward with a shy guy would be a good idea and it's basically something I wish I never did and it's like a leap backwards. Horrible.

[Anniroc]

I don't think the outcome would be any different... if you let them know how you feel then then run, but if you don't then they would just stare at you forever with the puppy dog eyes. Either way, they won't have the guts to go out eith you...

[Starfishlover]

Your crush sounds like a child to be honest. I think he is avoiding me because he is one of those jerks that found out you were talking about him and is scared when he shouldn't be.

My crush did the same thing to me. Unfortunately, a lot of guys think that a girl is creepy when she likes them. He should get over himself.

Next time you see him, do this.

thatgrapejuice.net/.../Hhmm-Hmmm.gif

[coffeprince]

OK I up voted this BC straight up, honest to booboo.. Something similar happened to me at her age, & the guy pretty much acted the same vway and siaf negative things about me after finding out I was crushing. Serious waste of time. but @starfishlover has the right idea plus that gif is awesome. Yes. She should do that :)

[Misunderstood07]

Yeah im a shy guy and im forcing myself to break out of it. And its kinda working. But so many girls who I had a crush on would flirt with me and i never new how to capitalize on the situation. I guess it comes from have no male figures in my life to teach me how to be a man but im learning. Anyway if you have a thing for a shy guy than try being straight up with him and ask him out. I know all females love it when a guy makes the first move, but most of us shy guys are way to insecure to ask out girls even if we know she likes us. We fear that once we open our mouths we won't know the right thing to say and that we will come off as awkward and get rejected. And with our low self-esteem rejections will make us fee like never trying again and depressed... But when a guy is shy just let him know that you'll accept him and his flaws.

[Asker]

I'm not the one avoiding him. It's one things to be quiet but to turn the opposite direction when he sees me is another.

[Misunderstood07]

Well im not that shy, i mean if a girl has a crush on me i won't try to avoid her. He must be painfully shy and to afraid of not knowing what to say to you or he's really not into you. But the only reason i think you would avoid someone is due to fear. So I would suggests to try get close enough to him to start a conversation with him. I don't really know how you could get close to someone who is avoiding you, but if there's a will there's a way. So don't give up just yet. But if he keeps avoiding you then i say move on. Because if you have to fight for someones attention then they aren't worth your time.

[Amreet]

Followed
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[Anonymous]

Look's like my previous situation (last year). Actually I still can't understand why it happen. Now we came back normal but I already lost interest on her. Last year, when she ignore me out of blue, I tried to speak to her but she said ok but still avoid me. After that week, I ignore her also. After a week , she suddenly smile and talk to me out of blue.

You should do your own work first, forget about him for awhile. Later he will talk to you if he miss you. If not, you should just forget about him. You know what my mean right? Good luck!!

[Asker]

Yeah I'm going to stop talking about him to my friends and ignore him for now on. Hopefully we can forget this crush-thing we had ever happened.

[Kiwifun]

He won't talk to her. Pssh. Seems now a days guys want the girls to talk to them. Well, I did and it got me friendless. He hates me now! So unless he really wants to talk to you, you will wait for the rest if your life.

[Opinion Owner]

@kiwifun Lol.. what do you do to that guy until he won't talk to you again?

[Kiwifun]

You mean in the meantime? Idk? I'm just saying my situation. Everyone on here says for the girl to talk first. Well I did talk first and it didn't go that well and in not such a personal way, I did apologize. I even asked if we could be friends? I got shot down. NOW HE HATES ME!!! I think he even finds it humorous coz I know I've talked to him afterwards but he will never admit it.
All I'm saying is some girls do talk first. It's not always the guys that talk first. So it goes.

[Watchmeout]

I am also a shy person and something same happened with me, I had a crush on a person and it was sort of unacheivable but one day while crossing the hall he was looking at me, that was a miracle. He remembered me from the day I peeked into his door and my shyness ruined everything. Other day while talking with my friend, I caught him once again looking at me but this time I unconsciously looked away due to awkwardness and he took it as if I'm irritated by him. We are not friends so we cannot clear this misunderstanding and now he run away from me. I never wanted this, I loved him and he hates me.

[Cogswell]

Shy guys are always hard to deal with because they send so many confusing signals. I know because I use to be really shy and awkward as well.

I don't think you embarrassed him or anything, I think he knows you like him (since you asked about him to his friends), and that has just made things even more awkward for him.

When I found out a girl liked me, I was always extremely quiet around her, didn't do anything and sort of just wanted to be away from her. Kinda counter intuitive, but it's what shy guys do.

[Asker]

Did you not like her back or something? Did you think she liked you more than you liked her so that's why you avoided her?

I would think he'd be happy and relieved to finally know I'm interested in him back but it seriously seems like he's annoyed by just seeing me. He's acting like I pissed him off or something when we haven't had a conversation in months.

[Cogswell]

No, I did not like her back at the time. The weird thing is though, after a few months I started to like her back, which only made things worse because then I'd try hard to avoid her and I'd get even more nervous when she spoke to me or got near me. Nothing makes sense when you're an awkward and shy guy...

Every shy/awkward guy is different so I'm not sure about your guy, but that was what it was like for me.

[crazyincalifornia]

This is really more about communication.
I'm shy too in small groups that include strangers.
He's sending you some mixed signals.
Maybe make sure he knows your still interested, or at least accessible.
Text him in a nice, non confrontational way.
:)

[Lilac79]

Don't ask about him anymore. once was enough. maybe even too much. dont pay any attention to him for now. just let things be. then maybe in like a month or so if you're not over him by then if you happen to be in the same room just say hey like you would to anyone else. then just take it from there.

[Anonymous]

If he is only shy around you but can be friendly and outgoing to everyone else including strangers then he likes you. Maybe his awkwardness is because he was picking up negative signals from you like avoiding eye contact, lack of conversation and ignoring him. Those signals can make us back track which appears like we don't like you. Smile at him and you'll see some positive signals back.

[Anonymous]

Have you ever tried looking at the situation in a positive perspective? For example, he may have learned that you like him from his friends and that could be the reason why he is acting weird. You did ask his friends about him right? Maybe he's afraid of taking things further because he is insecure. I've been there before.

[Asker]

I've tried looking at the situation from his perspective. But I pretty much didn't get far with that because a lot of the choices he made in response to me are ones I wouldn't make. I can't fathom why he's acting any type of way.

[Opinion Owner]

I used to be pretty shy myself, and I know for sure that I give A LOT of mixed signals to girls I've liked in the past including the girl I like right now. I gave her the 'you're weird' look while both made eye contact. Till this day, I still do not know why I did that. It was most likely caused by my own insecurities.

[aaaae2e]

Wow 😮

[Anonymous]

Well let me tell you something, if he really didn't care about you he wouldn't act this way... My guess would be that his friends told him something bad about you, such as "that girl was stalking you" or something. I think you shouldn't have asked about him, but that's fine now... the best thing to do is to act like nothing happened, try to ignore him for a little while and act like he's not even there, then he will talk to you i'm sure. Good luck though.

[Asker]

Yeah everything you just said are things I already thought over&over again.
You didn't even need to go anon because I agree entirely what you said and even thought about doing what you suggested - ignoring him back and trying to act like nothing happened as well. Thank you so much.

[Opinion Owner]

I'm glad i helped you. I'm pretty sure he's into you

[TryHard]

He honestly sounds horrible. No man should ever act so childish, even if this was a middle school endeavor I would suggest finding a new guy to try to attach to because aggressively passive individuals seldom make good partners.

[Artisticlibra]

The best thing you can do is ask him directly. You can keep wondering and thinking about what ifs. Just know you did not do anything wrong in this situation. Ask him. Get Answers. Figure what to do next.

[lightingrod]

You move fast for him. Take it slow since he's shy. Don't rush it

[Asker]

Right, I put the brakes on everything. I been stopped asking about him.

[lightingrod]

Or maybe he's just not the right guy for you.

[Kshppatel]

OP don't be too hard on yourself. I have kind of the same problem but eventually he just has to learn to come out of his shell

[Asker]

So this is his way of being shy?
Because it seems so much like the total opposite.

[Kshppatel]

Maybe he is so shy he thinks you tried to get with his friend or something I don't know

[Insignis]

Wish I could help you but the same thing happens to me often.

[Asker]

Sucks.

[fridzyy]

maybe he isn't interested.

[frenk063]

why did you stop seing him?

[Asker]

He stopped showing up where I usually see him. It wasn't by my choice.

[frenk063]

Okay. He is either mad or really ackward at you. He might be trying to get over you.

[jonwhit]

no he dont

[Asker]

What made you come to that conclusion?