Is a smart girl intimidating to you?

Question

So guys... Is a smart girl intimidating to you? Do you prefer smart girls with A+ averages or a dumb blond?

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Many guys say they like smart girls, which is probably true, but at the same time, many (of course not all) of them are actually intimidated by smart girls. After being together with that girl for a while, it hurts their self-esteem (or their ego I guess?)

My ex-boyfriend was telling me how he's happy that I am smart and that he could have conversations with him because I actually understood what he's talking about when his ex-girlfriend didn't understand. He also constantly showed me off to his family and friends saying how he liked me because I'm smart.

I didn't put him down, not in public nor private. When he said he's stupid, I told him he's a smart person and gave examples of things that he knew or could do which many people and I didn't. Yet, time after time, he kept saying how he felt bad because he felt that I was smarter than him even after all those reassurance. Then he started asking me for suggestions on problems, which I did offer some suggestions because I thought that's what he wanted. I didn't tell him what to do but told him a few options that might be done according to his situations.

A while after that, he decided to NOT make any decisions on his own at all but just come to me and say things like, "why don't you make the decision? You're the smart one in this relationship" and he expected me to make all different types of decisions on my own (for BOTH him and myself) - from bigger things like whether he should continue schooling to smaller things like where we should eat at. It irritated me because I don't like dealing with indecisive people, especially guys (it's such a turn off to me. I mean, I like it if you want my opinions because you respect and care about how I feel, but it's a different story if you want me to make the decision for you. ALL decisions. It's your life)

So, afterward, he ended up thinking that I'm "too smart" and that he's "stupid". He wouldn't tell me much from then but would talk with another girl who he always said was "stupid" before.

I don't know, maybe guys do like smart girls, but whether they can handle smart girls is another thing.

BrainsandBrawn · Accepted Answer

Ok, for all you guys who say you want smart girls, the reason why it's so hard to find them is the very same reason behind all the questions such as "why do nice girls/boys date bad guys/girls?" and "Where have all the nice girls/guys gone?"

I mean I'm a psychology minor and one of my field of interest is attraction and relationships. So I will read article after article of how guys want a nice, intelligent, etc. girl, but then everyday when I go out, society proves me wrong through both second and first-hand experience.

The reason why it's hard to find smart girls is similar to natural selection. I'm not saying that all the smart girls died out, what I'm saying is that all the stupid girls get chosen and so because this stupid quality is what the majority of guys have seemed to value, the dating world perpetuates that stupidity is greater than intelligence and thus more and more girls become convinced to act stupid because it gets them guys.

I'm not saying that all girls bow down to this flawed value system, I certainly don't, but it makes a rather convincing argument to do so.

NOTE: Before all the guys on this page scream at me, yes I know that girls do the same thing to guys and I think it's just as unfair, sh*tty and stupid as I think it is when guys to this to girls. Too many of my good guy friends have gone through the same thing my girl friends and I do, so I sympathize with you guys as well.

I think this video pretty much sums it up:

Reeses-pieces777 · Accepted Answer

sometimes not at all. I got straight A's and I was soft spoken. guys aren't intimidated by a shy or innocent girl. academic grades have nothing to do with how you act around others.

Xenophobia · Accepted Answer

intelligence conquers all...

here's an example: A dumb blonde wanted to be friends with benefits with me, she's hot, but she is ditzy and can't hold a conversation. So I wasn't attracted to her at all.

Intelligence says something about your personality...it sets you apart from the common person who's just going with the flow. If you have your own mind and chose not tlet others make decisions for you. then you should be in good shape.

You may find that a lot of guys are intimidated by you, because of your intellect, but that's cause they feel your out of reach or they can't keep up.

I'm having the same problem with girls...but to tell you the truth its gonna make it easier for you because...you'll stand out from the rest

DeadKennedy · Accepted Answer

as long as they don't hold it over my head, smart girls are great. But in all honesty, a relationship if msotly about comaptabiltiy and chemistrya nd intelligentce does play a role in that to an extent. There was one girl I went out with on one occassion, we stayed friends and she's fun to be aroudn but she was kinda dumb, and that made her shallow and amterialistic, it seemed like an emotional connection couldn't be made with her. So its not really an issue of dumb/smart but how the person relates to you.

Brando · Answer

I would say no. At the risk of sounding cocky, I'm more intelligent than the average, so I guess I'm one who can sometimes get annoyed by REALLY stupid things. I don't expect everyone to be rocket scientists, but if something is below even common sense, then yeah...

But yeah, it would be refreshing to be around a smart girl.

Mine please? :) link

soldat · Answer

Intelligence in a girl is such a rarity and I've yet to find one whose intellect can rival mine.  But if you're trying to allude, with your question, that you are an intelligent girl, then please allow me to point out that if you were even marginally intelligent you would've used the search option and not  have asked such a cliche question.

Citizen_Snips · Answer

Not all blondes are dumb. Hair doesn't affect your intelligence. I don't think GPAs are all that telling on a person's intelligence either. To answer your question, no I am not intimidated by intelligent girls. However, she would be extremely annoying if she was a know-it-all.

MrZoork · Answer

Every time I see this question I'm kinda surprised that this keeps coming up as a guy who likes the smart girls I can't be the only one. I actually enjoy the smart ones because as a neardy type I feel more comfortable around them. I wouldn't have an issue if she was smarter then me. One thing I do see is the smart girls tend to play dumb thinking that is a good thing. Why can't you just be you?

mandingo1203 · Answer

a smart girl is sexy! personality has so much to do with any relationship. a one night stand on the other hand has everything to do with looks. but to actually date the girl has to be smart. I am not intimidated at all by a smart girl. if she is that much smarter than me I just hope she keeps me around so I can be apart of all the money she will make. haha just kidding

Euro-Raver · Answer

I actually prefer "smart" girls to dumb ones just cause the conversations are so much more interesting. Like my current girlfriend has a 4.4 GPA and has aspirations of going to Stanford, she's hella smart, but she's not nerdy and doesn't rub it in like a know-it-all so it's completely fine. It's not that you have to be extremely smart, just smart enough to know what I'm talking about when we talk politics or whatever was on the news today.

The_Box · Answer

If it's intimidating, it's not in a bad way. I once met this one girl who was clearly far more intelligent than I and it was a total turn on.

However, A+ grades usually require a strong dedication to school work and work in general which can be a bit of a turn off. I like a girl who likes to have fun.

zk5201 · Answer

I prefer smart girls. My last ex was even smarter than me, granted psychotic and manipulative, but then again, all girls are.

A+ is not exactly needed to be considered smart, even c/d average girls can be quite smart even if not enough for school purposes. So by that I can assume you're in the other category.

Killfest400 · Answer

I personally require that a girl be VERY smart for me to even consider dating her.  My current girlfriend is valedictorian of a class of 800 or so students.  Intelligent people are more interesting to be around than someone who can't understand what "Do not use near water" means.

drummerdude25 · Answer

I LOVE a smart girl... just as long as she has some common sense along with those brains! ;)

I do find them a little intimidating, especially if they are pretty, because I respect girls like that a lot and I think intelligence is a very attractive trait (along with her beauty). I would prefer my girl to be intelligent, but its not a dealbreaker, as long as she isn't dumb.

saulito · Answer

i love smart girls...i hate arrogant ones...its so easy to be arrogant when you are sure of yourself...but another human being can easily sense when a girl is intelligent...funny is even better...if you are smart don't go putting people down especially your man...im sure nobody including women don't like it when the person they are with puts them down...compliment each other like carrots and peas...

erockc31 · Answer

The only time I would have a problem with a smart girl if she was always condescending to me with her intelligence.  Otherwise I don't see the whole intimidation with smart.  I'd be more afraid that she would be bored by me because I don't always want to be on the same intellectual level all the time.

Anonymous · Answer

1. You don't have to have a 4.0 to be considered smart

2. Not all blonds are dumb

3. There's a huge middle ground between a genius and being dumb

4. No matter what you look like, your intelligence isn't a problem. A lot of guys like smart girls, especially in college/grad school

5. Unless you look like a troll (I'm not saying that you do), guys will find you attractive

cmitch · Answer

A smart sexy girl is all I want. A girl that can talk politics, economics and philosophy while being confident and sexxy enough to give me a lap dance or do something racy with me. Only found one girl that fits that so far.

Gregs · Answer

This question has been asked before, and ill say, I don't care how good your grades are.  What's attractive is you intelligence both mental and emotional, but especially emotional.  Grades have nothing to do with how smart you are.

TheDeus · Answer

Personally, I dumped my first girl friend because after sex we couldn't talk about anything. She had no opinions, nothing to talk about or anything interesting to say. I like cute smart girls, not hot dumb girls. Smart girls have personality, and most guys with a brain deeper than a dirt puddle like personality.

Blackkid · Answer

The only time a smart girl would be intimidating is if she has me in a headlock threatening to rip off my testicles. Short answer: No.

American_Man · Answer

I definitely prefer smart girls. If you can't hold a decent conversation, things just aren't going to last long and there won't be a really deep connection. That being said, plenty of dumber girls still understand how to be really sexy - something the smart girls who are "too good" for that could learn from. Beauty has always intimidated me more than brains - brains I can handle.

BlueXeno · Answer

I will only date smart girls.  I need to talk to her about everything, dumb girls are boring in 5 seconds.  Maybe 10 seconds if they are so dumb they are entertaining.

Anonymous · Answer

Oh, god, please I need a smart girl right now.  A+ would be great.  I'm done chasing party girls and shallow idiots that I get bored of after meeting them a few times.  My body aches right now for a smart girl.   I CRAVE INTELLIGENCE!

shes-a-lady · Answer

welli if you have a university degree and he doesn't, maybe. but other than that they're usually more intimidated by beauty  than intelligence

Walrus_au · Answer

no. If a girl is not smart, she won't last with me.

Amrit · Answer

Intelligence turns me on.

tigerguy · Answer

to be honest I don't mind either way

jacquesvol · Answer

I prefer smart girls with A+ averages , by far!

tyrantfuryre · Answer

How about in between?

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