So how do dumpers attempt to get a second chance?

[Anonymous]

Will they just come right out with it and bite the bullet: 'I miss you', 'i'm sorry', 'I messed up., 'take me back'

OR

Can they take their time and test the waters: 'how have you been?', 'have you been out a lot lately?', 'how was your weekend? 'any plans for the weekend?'

If the dumper wants to reconcile, how long will the process take? Days, weeks, months?
How often will they contact you, every day, week, month?

Dealing with a stubborn ex who is hard to understand but it's obvious he wants something from me.

[jglez]

I broke things off with my current girlfriend once.
It took about half a year for us to get started again.

OP, you may be interpreting it wrong? After the first few weeks I retained my communication with my then-ex, but this was just because it was so weird cutting her off quickly and suddenly because we had been together for quite a while. I was just being friendly because I wanted to stay friends, but nothing more. I would also ask about her day and what she was up to, but soon I realized this only made her hurt more so I cut things off completely.

It sounds to me like you want him to take you back, the best thing you can do is to not make it obvious, if he has left you then you are the vulnerable one. I am ashamed to admit it, but sometimes a guy will take advantage of their ex if they see they are really hurting or miss them.

Simply carry on with life! It ended for a reason, if it was meant to be you will both find each other in life again. Good luck.

[Asker]

Thank you! It's refreshing to have someone offer some real advice on this site - I was losing hope!

If you don't mind me asking, are you two together again now? And if so how did you go about making this happen... Did you contact her all the time or every now and again?

You're right. Stupid me can't seem to let him go. He's done all of the contacting since we broke up, but he only does this every few weeks. I haven't heard from him in two weeks and can't help but think negatively about this. Yet when he does contact he seems to really be trying... When we ended I made it clear he hurt me and I cut him off. Would he take his time if he knew he hurt me?

Sorry, question overload!

[jglez]

My pleasure.

Yes, we are currently together and it was actually because she had left a lot of her belongings at my house lol.

To be honest it's kind of a blur.
It wasn't slow or gradual, we had both moved on from our breakup.
I contacted her after months and said "hey I have this box of your clothes and stuff," (from the times she had come over)
And said do you want it? She said yeah, and we had agreed to meet up at a park nearby because we were both still in the area.

Long story short we started making out somehow and we rushed to my house all hot and had sex.

[jglez]

OP, I think you are trying to hold on to something that isn't there, you're desperate for any hint that he may still want you and are probably interpreting his messages wrong.

I think you know you have to move on, you're just having trouble going through the denial phase of grief.

I suggest getting back up on the saddle and make yourself available on the "dating market" and start seeing other people :)

[ThisDudeHere]

No point in asking this since it really just depends on each individual. Just try your luck and see where it goes.

[Anonymous]

It depends on the person. Most people are shit though that why they usually do the second option.

[Anonymous]

Everyone is different, could be weeks or months