HELP: I always initiate conversation...What does it mean?

[wild_rose]

There's a particular guy that I like. We used to see each other at school but now we rarely meet. We exchanged our numbers, and emails.. But I'm always the one initiating contact. However, when I talk to him, he doesn't seem to close down the conversation but rather trying to keep the conversation going ( a conversation will be about 20 - 30 mins ).

He never texts me first and if I don't text him, he won't text me.

Do you think he is avoiding me or maybe he is annoyed?

What should I do in order not to be seen as annoying or desperate?

[Anonymous]

Same thing happened to me. I'll tell you about my experience and what I did. The girl never (except for one time) initiated contact. She flirts, laughs, we talk for a long time. We exchanged numbers, email and friended each other on Facebook. She's told me everything about herself. If I text her, she'll always respond. She doesn't want to really talk on the phone though for some reason. Finally we did talk about dating, I did ask her out, she actually said yes almost every time but backed out every time. I tend to think that she does sort of like me, otherwise she wouldn't flirt or tell me all these personal things about herself. We ended up at a work party once and she came and found me, but she was super nervous the entire time. The next day she IMs me trying to explain her behavior (that's the one time she initiated contact). So from that incident and everything else she has told me, my conclusion is that she's just emotionally unavailable. She's self conscious around me, and most other decent guys (she told me herself). When it has the potential to be serious, she buckles. She's just not ready I guess. Your situation sounds like a lot of the same. Not sure there's anything you can do. Sorry to have to say that. For me, I keep in contact with her, I talk to her, flirt with her, do little nice things for her. Nothing pushy or extreme. Each time I see her, it's my goal to make her smile and laugh at least once. Maybe one day she'll come around, and if she's still available and so am I, who knows... If you do the same, maybe one day he might come around, who knows. I am not waiting for her though, I am pursuing other girls. I wouldn't suggest you wait for him either, that has the potential to not end well at all.

[wild_rose]

Yeah it?s very similar :) however, in the few times that we met by coincidence; when he was alone he was like happy to meet me and talked to me for some time. On the other hand, when he was with his friends, he was like noding and smiling but kept going. From what I see, many of his friends do not know me and so, when they asked him about me, he said that he knows me (smiling). I know because I heard him once. He seems to be liking me but many times he acts like he don?t. difficult to understand

[Opinion Owner]

Sounds the same. I decided to talk to the girl today after replying to your post. We were at work and were alone and we talked a long time. Throughout the conversation she sometimes seemed to really like me and sometimes didn't. I asked her some relationship questions, she said almost anybody could date, it depended on mindset. Weird. Supports my theory of emotionally unavailable. Difficult/impossible to understand.

[wild_rose]

Yeah... I agree with you on the theory. I believe that the best thing is by doing like you said in the 1st comment just continue to make them smile and laugh. Once we argued and didn't talk for 2 months, I tried to apologise to him but seems nothing worked. My friends told me to forget him, I didn't. After 2 months, I thought that it's better to forget him. Strangely enough, when I tried to do so he forgave me & we?re friends again. So it is nearly impossible to know why they are acting that way

[etcase]

if he doesn't try to keep things going then most likely he doesn't want you. unless the guy is socially inept then he will realize this is his chance with you and he will go for it. sorry but it sounds like he just wants to be friends. if you wanna make sure then confront him and ask him out or something, if he says no its not the end of the world. hope this helps, good luck