u People under 18 tend to date in accordance with silly rules like, "Don't let a girl know that you really like her," or "Don't accept a request for a date if it is made on Wednesday or later, because you don't a guy to know that it was Wednesday and you still didn't have a date for the weekend!" Sound familiar? Doesn't that shit just drive you bat-shit crazy?
Part of maturing in dating is dropping these silly rules and being more open and candid with your partners. But for now. . . yes, he is probably playing a silly game. Wanna shake him up? Say to him, "I've been kinda liking you lately but you're so low-key it's like you don't notice or don't even care, so. . . do you have any friends who you think might be a good match for me?"
That's good advice! I'll keep it in mind :)
There's a lot of truth to what OlderAndWiser said. Still, even at my 29 years sometimes I still catch myself trying to act like I wasn't looking and then think "what the hell, I'm not a kid anymore, so what if she sees me checking her out?", some old habits die hard. Of course there is an exception: if a guy knows she has a boyfriend and he respects that he might choose to be discrete when checking her out.
@JohnDoe3000 okay thanks!
WE ACT COOL AROUND YOU COZ WE DONT WANT YOU TO THINK THAT WE LIKE YOU AND THAT IF YOU LIKE US IN RETURN IT MEANS THAT YOU'LL STILL BE AROUND US THE MORE WE IGNORE YOU. MOST GUYS WANNA FIND A DECENT GIRL THAT IS WORTHY ENOUGH FOR THEM SO THAT THEY won't HAVE TO REGRET IT LATER. I MEAN, IF A GIRL CHASES A GUY, THEN HE SHOULD HOLD ONTO THAT GIRL , COZ SHE'S A KEEPER.-----THIS IS WHAT WE'RE TRYING TO DO. IT'S A KINDOF TEST.
Great answer :)
JUST WANNA HELP LUV
lol, LOVING THE ALL CAPS!!!
HEHE
Ugh the caps, but yes that's totally true. If we act like we don't like her but she still likes us, then we know she means it.
@frozenhorizon okay
Depending on the guy I think. Shy guys will usually hide their feelings for you until you give straightforward signs you like them or until you make a move. They will be scared of rejection and never ask you out or afraid to lose the friendship.
If its a guy whose pretty outgoing then more than likely they will show interest straight away. Its pretty obvious thay they like you cause you get a feeling about it. If they sense your backing off abit or getting uncomfortable with their forward advances then they will back off and "play it cool"
I give my crush mixed signals because I don't know how he feels. Could that explain the "cool/ laid back" behaviour?
Most likely yes. If you like him show him! Nothing bad can happen, if he likes you back; awesome! If not I believe you should be so proud of yourself for putting yourself out there because 95% of females don't EVER do it because their afraid of rejection, looking desperate etc.
I personally learnt my lesson a couple of months ago. Use to give mixed signals because I was afraid, and as a result either pushed the guy away or he "played it cool", making me more paranoid about how he feels for me. Ultimately; his scared of rejection too hence his "playing it cool". The only way he will drop that act is if you show interest. If his a good guy he will start showing interest back, if his the wrong sort he will use you for an ego booster or something else, but your intuition will tell you that. If not I'd give it 2 weeks of showing interest towards him and if he doesn't reciprocate then you know your answer.
okay :) great advice! I'll be sure to do it!
I don't know about guys but I get super nervous around someone I have a crush on and one of two things happen. I get super quiet and act like I don't notice them or become a giggling school girl and talk way too much about random things. I'm so awkward 😒
I read that when a guy speaks in a soft, calmer voice it means he's trying to not to be intimidating. If he speaks in a low manly voice, he's obviously trying to sound manly which means he finds the woman he's talking to less attractive.
so he does it because he thinks I'm less attractive than him?
Possibly
totally thought it is suppose to mean a guy likes you when he talks deeper but okay, whatever you say
It's just what the internet said. I don't know how true it is.
Opinion
59Opinion
im straight forward in a sense that i will go for her
but also keep my distance
im naturally cool, my weird being is cool :p
but fr i dont specifically act cool, id say im more myself and pretty much more confident and charming, i dont stray away from tongue in cheek compliments/flirts
i do like to impress the girl but not like being arrogant like, but more with humor and just being fun to hang around with overall
i think they should discover me, shouldn't be an open book, im much more interested in her hobbies and views :p
Coolio!
Have you read this part? I need help. I've been reading some signs, and I think my crush likes me back. The thing is, it seems like he is disinterested sometimes (talking in a really low, calm voice). Even when he gives me compliments and stuff, he seems overly calm. Could it be he is hiding his interest in me, or does he just see me as a friend?
Well some people are stoic tbh
Some people do it unintentional, i myself give compliments sometimes like this and people think im sarcastic when im serious
Or maybe he is just very tired...
Well if u think he likes u back and u saw some definite signs, u could go for it tbh
okay :)
Thanks!
No problem :)
Some guys are just really chill and laid back. I'm that way all the time to literally everyone I meet. He may just be afraid to let you know that he likes you because he's scared of having his heart broken. People who are really calm all the time are usually like that because they've put themselves out there, and been hurt. Try flirting with him a little bit, show some interest, etc. Maybe he'll come out of his shell :)
@Fawxde Thank you for relating to my stuggles lol :)
@Fawxde Thanks!
It depends what vibe I get from her.
IF I think she is even slightly interested , I just let it be known that I like her. I'd rather go down in flames and know than not know at all.
However, If she is showing not much and I think she is not interested then I play it cool, you know? Avoid a messy situation.
if she starts showing some interest, will you still like her and stop playing it cool?
yes. I would still like her and start flirting and such.
The girl I crush on shows none ( it's a mess too ) so I act cool. The knowledge only came to me recently that she is actually shy. If that's true, the next time I see her I will do something, be it say hi, smile or even just a wave to get her attention.
Okay :) Thanks!
deeper voice is a good sign, it's a natural reaction of interest and attraction and it's almost uncontrollable. if he's acting really calm then he may be trying to hide his feelings but gauge his interest with other cues. does he hold eye contact, face you while you're speaking and smile often when with you. those are giveaways as well.
he naturally has a deep voice I guess, but I don't know if it gets deeper or not. When we talk, he holds eye contact and I catch him smile at times. His gives me lots of compliments and stuff and his friend once told me he talked about me with him
In the hallways though, he almost always avoids eye contact. I don't know why
then that's all good stuff, definitely sounds like he likes you, it's probably his way of playing it off in case you don't like him back. like a defensive type of thing
in the halls I don't know why he's so that. maybe he is just focused on other things or doesn't like talking in the halls much, I know I prefer talking in the classroom and usually don't spend more time than necessary in the hallway
the thing is, he used to look at me, smile and say hey in the hallway. He just doesn't do it anymore. I don't know why he suddenly stopped.
if you say hi first does he ignore you?
no, he always answers back when I say hi.
maybe he felt like you didn't say hi to him first a lot so he stopped saying hi.. I don't know I can't explain that
okay
for me i do all depending on how much i like a chick. if i REALLY am into a random chick ill try and be as straight up as possible. if its a suoer hit chick who i see around often ill be mean, i want her to walk away like damn does he like or what
what do you think of this?
I've been reading some signs, and I think my crush likes me back. The thing is, it seems like he is disinterested sometimes (talking in a really low, calm voice). Even when he gives me compliments and stuff, he seems overly calm. Could it be he is hiding his interest in me, or does he just see me as a friend?
how long you know him?
around a year and a half
ok. is he usually calm around everyone
Sometimes he does immature stuff with his friends (tease them, kick them, mess up their clothing/ hair) and looks for my reaction. But not matter what, he always seems so cool. It's kinda like that loud side of him is toned down. I guess he's always been cool, but like I said that loud side of him is almost no where to be found when I hang out with him and his friends
i just saw your under 18.. was going to say he sounds imature but y'all r young.
if he's AOFAing (acting out for attention) move on
but he's not like that. He is a really modest, nice, and respectful guy. He's popular but he isn't the stereotypical popular guy. That's just not how he was raised. I really doubt someone like him needs to seek my attention when literally every single girl likes him
you dont believe your pretty enough for him, maybe a little insecure?
post a pic of yourself
I'm not 10/10 attractive, but I'm around average, or maybe even 6-7 The point is, I don't know if he's just being friendly (because he is a nice guy in general) Like, would you just tell all your friends good stuff about this random girl that you only saw as a friend? It confuses me. Like it's safe to say no guy compliments me as much as he does
he like you ikk bet
Okay :)
what? lol
@mswright lol can you explain?
I don't know, a lot of boys just naturally try to act cool because that's just how they are.
Does he act different around you than others?
I don't know, I wouldn't be there to see it. I guess. He is always with his friends (sometimes I have convo with them in class) When we talk about art, and core subjects in school/ marks, this guy always gives me compliments. He doesn't give me physical compliments (appearance, clothing, etc) but he gives me many compliments on my hobbies and talents. One time, his friend told me what compliments that guy gave me while I wasn't there.
but its confusing because he is a nice guy in general
okay thanks!
I'll buy her shit and throw it out there but for the most part I keep a straight face and treat her like a friend
why would you treat a crush like a friend?
my crush gives me compliments frequently and I feel like he is showing signs of interest, but sometimes he is just friendly and I don't know what is going on
he may be a friendly guy and naturally flirtatious
I guess. But what about this? His friend told me that my crush talked about me with him. My crush complimented me in front of his friend too, and when we hang out, he has no problem giving me compliments in front of his friends.
It's a very real possibility he does like you yes but I'm a stranger online take my words with a grain of salt
Okay, I'lll keep on the lookout and see if he gives more signs
I don't act like I'm trying to ignore my crush, but I try my best to treat her relatively the same as the rest of my friends. The problem is that she's just too damn pretty
he gives me lots of compliments, even when his friends are around. They aren't anything one physical appearance though. Most of them are saying that I'm a nice person, good at art, really smart, etc. His friend told me once he talked about me with him
My mindset about complimenting physical appearance: Too often I hear horror stories of guys being called creeps for doing just that, so I avoid it. He's probably the same as me: Insecure and too shy to do anything
okay :)
there is a really good explanation why we guys wanna act cool is because we want to impress the girl we like. we do not want to show how boring we are which can leads to 'bored to death'. trust me, i've always imitated like alex turner as the way he dress and the way he speaks with a baritone voice. girls may think guys being cool is too cocky by the way.
I think it's difficult to just lump all guys into two categories of aggressive and passive.
Some guys just want to know you. Other guys just want to know if you're horny...
I personally usually hide my feelings unless I'm positively sure she likes me too.
I don't think any us should be scared of the other gender quite honestly.
If she likes you also, there's no reason not to let her know. But fear of rejection might hold many of us back.
I act cool enough not to scare her away but other than that I talk to her as much as possible.
my crush shows signs of interest but he is really bad at texting me sometimes
Totally depends on the guy. I personally try to let her know because if I intend to pursue her, acting cool isn't going to take me anywhere.
what if she gives you mixed signals? how do ya deal with it?
wow, I like it! straight to the point
It depends. I usually just act the way I act. I don't think about it too much. If I want to hang out with them, I hang out with them.
More straightforward I think.
But... maybe I'm too inexperienced, green and young to know any better.
I find when I like someone i am usually visibly excited. sometimes even my friends are excited
I've hung out with him and his friends a couple times. They like me, we're kinda friends. But sometimes his friends make eye contact with me in the hallway and smile, but my crush avoids eye contact with me. I only see him turn his head to look in my direction from the corner of my eye. But my crush is the one who usually gives the signs of interest (compliments, copying things I say, teasing) but I don't know why he needs to avoid eye contact in the halls. He makes eye contact while I talk to him.
to me avoiding eye contact might be a sign of embarassment
why is he "embarassed"?
maybe of liking you or of possibly making a fool of himself it's hard to say
am I a disgrace to him?
I wouldn't know but it might be a possibility
okay
But it could totally be something else too I dunno
I hide it. Don't want her to feel targeted, and especially if she's the observant-chill type, being aggressive will only make her dislike you. Gotta play it slow.
Yes.
I'm doing it right now with a girl I like. Maybe too much though. I'll talk to her once each day at work then say nothing when I see except to smile at her or not even that.
Why do ya do it?
At work it's understandable, some people don't like to date co-workers, if a breakup were to occur it'll be unhealthy for work.
@TheUglyMonk oh, thats true
okay
It really depends on the guy. Some guys have huge egos and just go for it. Others, hide it and try to act like they don't care and can even be mean towards the girl.
They try to act cool to come across as the "dominant and confident" one to get noticed by girls.
However, this form of getting noticed is a short term vision.
Depends totally on the guy if he's shy and scared he's not gonna want to talk to you but if he has ego problems he will act cool. Really just depends on the guy
We ATTEMPT to act cool around you, but sometimes it makes it more obvious. Me, I have generally friendly demeanor that no one can tell if I like them or dislike them.
depends on the guy I can't act cool at all and a girl will know 100% if I'm into them but some guys who know how to tease and play "the game " know how to do that re well
I figured guys stopped hiding it and trying to act cool around the girls after high school was over lol Hiding your feelings from someone you like and trying to act cool around them is ridiculously childish lol
I can be shy, nervous, laugh more than usuall, after awhile I open up myself and all out vulnerable (if the girl hurts me at this point, I shut myself off, drive her away)
I try to act cool but i can't and end up acting weird and some guys can act cool, some are just showing that they like her , some are weird around her (me😅)
Oh hell no! You're never gonna find me all jumpy, excited, giggly etc around a crush. If I show you how desperate I am you would be turned off so the what I and many guys would do would be calm , cool or even be disinterested.
I know this one guy who has told my friends he has strong feelings for me but infront of me acts too aloof I could never tell.
@gadoe6 haha thanks!! :)
The majority of time he is trying to hide his true feelings. Ego is a disease.😂
why do u try to hide your feelings towards her?
In My case in the past was because of My ego and pride. Not like that anymore though.
depends on the person's personality. a lot of guys do I'me shy so I try to stay my distance
most guys act "cool" to hide insecurities. people who think they are cool really are not. a real man doesn't out on a front
No, there are just some people that they are not overly nervous in front of their crush
I'm shy so it takes time for me to warm up to a girl
but i like to try just being myself and express myself
to her.
Generally we are A. We only do B if we are drunk or foolish, or she is drunk or foolish.
It could be either. You'll need to dig deeper and push him out of his comfort zone to really know.
Be honest be straight up honest u want your chick to retrun to u or so long Lol
We act cool to impress our crush, we don't share how we feel because we don't want to be rejected.
I act cool and chill around my baby cause i am cool. and I like to see her smile and laugh. it's so cute.
Well yeah. I recently took advantage of the situation and took care of my crush together with her best friend because she was quite drunk. I hope she remembers this.
yes many of the guys do try to any cool or chill Infront of their crush for few reasons might be that they are best friends and he thinks he can ruin it or he not that gutsy to tell the girl or they just can't talk to that girl cuz #THEGUYISAPUSSY
yes, i tried twice but got busted and rejected too.
the man version of "hard to get"
we know too how to play that game
lots of people try to stay chill, but some are erratic.
look we guys have been curved and freindzoned so it's a defence mechanism
I say they do that, cause deep down we are terrified of rejection, or we are just nervous about asking our crush out.
yes we act cool so as not to let u know that m having crush (only because we don't want to lose the friendship we have)
If unsure about the girls opinion towards us, yes!
Else, probably not
I don't intentionally try to, but in retrospect, I do.
I wasn't gonna answer this question seriously, but I just can't after seeing that gif. Lmao. It looks beyond retarded.
was gonna*
I'm a big procrastinator so it takes time for me to ask just my feeling do show from time to time
My crash in life is obsessive hard work, and i am obsessed with it.
it's a coin flip depends on the dude some guys try to act cool and some just straight up say how they feel it just depends on the guy
Yes, and it works :P :P :P
lol, how does it work? :)
Makes girls to guess :P
lol wow
Complicated by Avril pretty much talks about what You're talking about
he's just tryna act cool
Sometimes, if you don't want the girl to know
different for different guys
A lot of men do. I am always cool though
Why isn't acting normal an option?
Here for the extra xper
Sorry, only for people who leave actually opinions that help me out
Some do some don't. It depends.
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