How do you tell if a girl is single?

[Anonymous]

What are good ways to find out immediately without directly asking?

Don't say Facebook, because a lot of times people don't post their relationship status.

I'm tired of only finding out after a month, and then she tells me she's in a long-term relationship with some guy somewhere far away in a remote galaxy.

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+1 y

A lot of people are saying that if you ask a girl out, and she says yes and acts interested in you, then she's single...but I've found that's often NOT the case...


I've even had girls ask me out who weren't single.

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+1 y

And I don't want to ask directly, because that seems too forward and like I'm moving too fast.

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+1 y

I've got an idea...if I hint to a girl that I'm single...like say, "I'm almost always free on Friday," or "I haven't been out in a long time"...would she tell me if she's single? Or would that just make me look like a loser?

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+1 y

Why would girls hide their relationship status anyway? I can see if you're single, not wanting to blurt it out to the whole world. But if you have a boyfriend, why hide it? Girls seem to almost avoid talking about their boyfriend around other guys...

[Flyness]

Hey man,

First I'm going to explain why her "status" is of no concern to you. Then I'm going to explain WHY after a month your lady told you she was in a relationship.

FIRST - Asking her is POINTLESS:

Asking a woman if she is single is completely pointless. Don't even worry about it. Why? Because if a woman is interested and available, she will let you know. Whenever you approach a woman, you have to have the confidence about yourself that SHE is lucky to be around you. Don't be arrogant, but just have the mindset of a WINNER. If you start off this way, and if she likes you, she will carry things forward. Else, if she's unavailable or uninterested, she will let you know. (women are often indirect, as if to spare your feelings. Look for signs of hesitation, disinterested, lack of eye contact, excuses to leave, etc.)

SECOND - Your situation: Why she later told you she's in a long-term relationship

Your situation is not uncommon. What likely happened was the girl that you met was initially interested in you (at least somewhat), and enjoyed the attention. However, she either:

A) Was dating someone the whole time, but they were "on the rocks" during that month you two were together, or

B) She was NEVER dating anyone and is using guys like you for attention, free movie dates, etc.

In any event, she grew tired or bored and decided to give you the "slip", by declaring she was in a long-term relationship. My friend, it is an immature move, but is one of the oldest tricks in the book. This young lady sounds young...perhaps 21ish? At least she SEEMS young.

Homie, do NOT sweat it. Use this as a learning experience and improve your confidence. To an extent it doesn't even matter if she has a boyfriend. Just "mack on". If she's receptive to your vibe, she will reciprocate. Yet if she flakes, acts shady or simply tells you she's uninterested, move on. If you want to chat or add me on Facebook: link

Good luck

Flyness

[Asker]

Thanks for the advice, but a lot of the time I can confirm that she does have a boyfriend. So she's not just making it up.

I don't see why it's pointless to know if she's single, because I certainly don't want to date the kind of girl who would cheat.

[Flyness]

If a female is lying about her relationship status, then it is a character flaw. So are females lying to you often? If so, you may have to change the demographic of females you are talking to. Usually once females are out of their "attention-whore" phase (age 22+) they tend to have more integrity. Also make sure that you are meeting women outside of "singles" places like bars and clubs. Some women who have boyfriends frequent these spots for attention and/or booty.

[Asker]

Believe me, that's not the kind of women I go for, and clubs/bars aren't my scene.

I'm talking about ordinary girls who you meet outside of those places. In fact, I've had more trouble with older girls. The girl who lied to me the most was the oldest I've dated (nearly 30). They like it when I ask them out, but they don't want to tell me they have a boyfriend since they're really insecure (think Jennifer Aniston types). The 18-20's aren't as bad...don't lie..but I still want to know if they're single.

[Anonymous]

doesn't it get tiring on how us guys always have to be the ones to initiate?

[Honey18]

There are no ways to find out immediately unless she flat out tells you that she is single. You're going to have to ask her one way or another. When someone messages me online the first thing I ask them is if they have read my profile because it says that I am married 3 times on there. No matter how you read it it says I'm happily taken. Some guys just ignore the tall tell signs that a girl isn't interested. If you flirt with her and she just says thank you and doesn't flirt back then she probably isn't interested or is taken. Simple as that. But either way you're going to have to talk to her.

[Asker]

Well, those are the easy cases. Yes, there are guys who ignore the obvious, but I'm not like that. LOL...that's the first thing I'd look for.

A girl who acts aloof is not necessarily taken. As I mentioned in one of the other comments, I get turned down more by girls who are single than those who aren't. I think single girls are more cautious, maybe cynical, so it takes longer to get their trust.

[Honey18]

Well I don't know what answer you're looking for and I'm not just going to tell you what you want to hear either. Looks to me like you're just looking in the wrong places or for the wrong type of girl. You telling her that you don't have sh*t to do isn't going to say that you're single either, it just says you have nothing to do. You're playing this like a girl would, trying to do something like its a damn code she has to solve. That's not going to get you anywhere.

[Asker]

Well if I am "playing it like a girl" as you say, then you'd think girls would be able to understand what I might be saying.

But if girls really want a guy to cut to the chase, which is what you seem to be suggesting, then why stop at asking, "Are you single?" Might as well throw yourself at her and say you're really interested. Except maybe you don't know her well enough to say that, and you just want to know if she's single to know if there's any reason to get your hopes up.

[Honey18]

Girls don't understand code just like guys don't either..

[Asker]

Depends what you call code, but believe it or not, I can read things without having them completely spelled out. Except when the girl is trying to lie. Big difference between subtlety and deception. Not all guys (or girls apparently) believe in subtlety but my question was for those who do.

[Honey18]

I've already given up on trying to give you an answer because you're not going to accept anything anyone has to say as I can see from the comments you have left everyone. You asked for advice and we all told you what we believed was the best answer. Either accept it or dont, I don't really care.

[Asker]

OK, thanks anyway.

[dunc17]

Well I'd say to talk to her and see how the conversation goes. If she seems into the conversation and giving good responses and not just yes or no or idk, then she might be into you and then you can say, it was nice talking to you. Would you like to go get some coffee or something sometime. just be smooth about it. If she agrees to go with you, she's most likely single!

[Asker]

Unfortunately, my experience has been the opposite.

Especially if the girl is in a long-distance relationship, it seems that she'll say yes because her boyfriend isn't around.

Truth is I've been turned down by more girls who I know for fact are single than ones who I later find out have boyfriends.

[dunc17]

Sorry to hear that. just keep trying and do things you like to do and find girls involved in those things. That can spark interesting discussions and you can find genuine girls who honestly like the same things you do, not just some girl who wants a guy with her because her other one is far away somewhere.

[Asker]

Hmm...well most of the times it's not that I feel explicitly she's trying to use me, but I meet a girl who I do seem to hit it off with, everything seems great and then boom, she already has a boyfriend.

And I think actually, the more you hit it off, the longer it's going to take for her to admit she's seeing someone. Because maybe she wants too keep you around as a friend or as back-up if she breaks up (which never happens).

[Anonymous]

How about ask her "want to grab a coffee"? If she's interested in you, she'll more than likely say yes. If you DO meet her and have a good time, slip into the conversation asking her if she's seeing someone. It's better to ask directly so everything is clear and no miscommunication.

[lowbrassgirl]

Look and see if she has a ring on (or any other jewellery) it's not always right, but you can play innocent and complement the ring and ask where she got it

[Asker]

Well I think that only works at telling if the girl is married, and a lot of the girls I meet seem to (whether intentional or not) give off the impression that they're single even though they're not.

[provemewrongxx]

Just ask, she's not gonna get mad or anything.

[Asker]

Right, but I don't like moving too fast either.

[Anonymous]

Ask her or one of her friends or family...