Guys, What's the #1 reason men pull away from relationships?

[PunkinPie]

I see ads constantly on this site for relationship help, citing "THE #1 REASON MEN PULL AWAY! IF YOU WANT LASTING RELATIONSHIPS YOU MUST BUY THIS."

Why not just ask the guys? ROFL

Updates

+1 y

Interestingly, no one so far has brought up the reason the ads are claiming -
that women invest too much too soon into a relationship and the guy gets bored or feels smothered.

Apparently they're selling some super-secret program on how to keep your man on fire for your love for life.

[MrOracle]

I was definitely going to say "when women smother the guy or are overly demanding of his attention."

Most women LOVE and DESIRE attention similar to the way men desire sex, but both can go overboard. Just like it's a turn-off for women if a man seems to constantly and only be interested in sex, it's a turn-off for men if the woman is constantly needing attention.

But you don't need a "program" to deal with that, you just need to understand men. Men need alone time to recharge - and even if it looks like he's "wasting" that time or doing something inane or even doing nothing - that's the POINT: he's RELAXING and recharging and we have to have that.

Also, most of us have a job, and we can't be on the phone all day at a job, so texting us all day long isn't going to work. Not only would most of us be fired, many of us do jobs where it wouldn't be safe to text all day, and we certainly couldn't get any real work done.

That doesn't mean you can't send him a text or two throughout the day - but don't freak out if you don't get an answer for a few hours, and remember that it's in your best interest if you keep him WANTING to talk to you - which means backing off and letting him make initial contact once in a while.

Yes, you may need to find someone else to talk to if you MUST share your feelings, but that's what your girlfriends are for. If you are too needy and clingy and desperate for attention from your man, you will annoy him and drive him away, so find some other outlet to occupy your time and let him MISS YOU when you're apart, which will make him want to spend QUALITY face-to-face time with you. That's how you WIN.

[PunkinPie]

See, I'm off of that. I don't want to talk. I don't want a relationship. I don't want to text all day. I gave a guy my number this weekend and he's called me 3 times in 48 hours. I'm busy, so I couldn't answer the phone and I didn't really feel like talking then anyway. I tried to text him back but he's calling from a landline. I'm tempted to just not respond at all.

[PunkinPie]

I do think you nailed it on the head.

[Anonymous]

First, lots of guys do not want a relationship. This seems to be the hardest thing for women to accept because it seems to be the default in the female psyche, they want relationships. And they simply cannot grasp that a man might not want that.

Second, even if he does want a relationship, he is going to want time away from that relationship. That's genetic. Can't be helped. It's a guy thing. Again, women find this very difficult to understand, accept and agree to. But it's a fact.

So, if you're lucky enough to find a guy who does want a relationship with you, what you need to do is stop trying to make him into some sort of pseudo-woman who stays with you 24/7 and talks all the time. THAT IS WHAT YOUR LADY FRIENDS ARE FOR. Let him be a man. If you expect monogamy, make that part of the deal. But do not tell him he can't jerk off, look at porn, or go away on that golf-weekend with the guys. Do not try to remove the "guy" things about him. Be a woman. Let him be a man. You'll both be happier for it.

[PunkinPie]

See, I'm basically a guy. I don't want to talk all the time. I don't want a relationship. I don't want to text all day. I gave a guy my number this weekend and he's called me 3 times in 48 hours. I'm busy, so I couldn't answer the phone and I didn't really feel like talking then anyway. I tried to text him back but he's calling from a landline. I'm tempted to just not respond at all.

[Anonymous]

The number one reason is that either subconsciously men don't want relationships, they just want sex... but they acquire sex through a relationship. This is why you now see so many friends with benefits or casual hookups. Women who were the gatekeepers of sex, lowered the gates and men noticed.

Most men just want freedom and plenty of sex. Most women want security and plenty of sex. The number one reason why men pull away is often to do with a lack of either sex, or freedom.

[PunkinPie]

Heh... I just want freedom. No relationship.

[didigo182]

-Excessively Feminist - Okay be feminist and want equal rights but there are women who in ANY subject take to the side of gender struggle, social class, etc... there is no one who can stand it.

-Does not have patience, fight for anything, promiscuous, cold, distant, etc.

[PunkinPie]

Define what "distant" means to you, because most guys here seem to think that women are too clingy.

[didigo182]

Im Brazilian. I like clingy girls! ;)

Although of course everyone needs to have their own free time with friends and doing what they like.

Here the most of girls are 'clingy', and here is just contrary: when they act distant, and "cold" for me (we) think is not a good sign the things it's going good, usually they are worried about something important, etc.. or in worst cases she don't want be with aymore, so the best is talk and end the relationship.

[Barrabus_the_Free]

Why not ask guys? Because we're never consulted. Were expected to pay up, sit up, put up, and shut up. Our opinions don't matter to women. We're mobile background scenery, unless she's getting something from us (money, attention, etc), but even then nothing we say or think matters.

If any woman bothered to ask men things, and actually PAY ATTENTION to what we tell her, she'd find that the answers she received were *vastly* different from what all the articles written by women are telling her.

[random56286]

So much of it seems to relate to two people attempting to understand each other.

Each person must trust the other. They try to communicate but misunderstandings​ occure. If they are not resolved, a gap in understand develops.

These gaps grow larger and large areas of mistrust fill the space between them. Unresolved, both men and women don't respond in a way their partner understands and someone pulls away.

[Decentguy]

Because of Trust Issues mostly, And i always try to avoid Serious relationships. i wish dating and marriage was like, there is only one person for everyone, and you date them and marry them and spend the rest of your life with them, it would be soo awesome then

[Robsinsf53]

I can't think of a reason, I never have pull away from a relationship that seemed right?

[PunkinPie]

But what about the ones you did pull away from made them seem wrong?

[Yes-Man]

1. Trust issues (of either partner).
2. Insecurity.
3. Bitchiness.
4. Single mom.
Any of those reasons can be No.1.

[Mattjb83]

If they dont trust them, they become second to everything in their life, or not being sexually satisfied. That last one is HUGE but there are other reasons, bottom line if u loose that spark ur done for

[roy_ricky09]

Unnecessary complications. The biggest contributer is lack of communication.
Even if you date Miss world and she's unable to communicate in a relationship, it is bound to fail. No one can stop it.

[zeussuez]

The same #1reason that women pull it off ! Let me know if you find out #1 reason ! I am married for #20 years ! Never found a reason to doubt my #1 love for all those years ! .. to give you the crux ! If you believe in love.. nothing else matters! If you disbelieve your love or want to see the flaw... u ll find a hundred reasons to not believe your love. For me , love is supreme.

[PunkinPie]

Love stinks. It really does.