Girls- Why do you lead on guys on?

[Anonymous]

I'm not talking by accident, but overtly and on purpose. Then when the guy get the nerve to do something about it, you shoot him down... then KEEP leading him on... wtf?

This is happening to me, and I guess I could just walk away but the problem is, the person who is doing it is a very good friend of mine. So I can't just walk away from a friend. I just want to know why...WHY?

Worst part is, she laughs at me when I do try an advance. It totally kills what little confidence I have.

[enigmaticangel]

you do fall for her don't you? :P dont. she's riding so high on her pride to not even see how she is hurting a dear friend... don't let yourself be her idea of a backup plan. Some girls just like the idea of male adulation so much that they go and make it their idea of a fun game and kill the feelings of the guys. :( Alternatively, it could be that she has feelings for you, but isn't ready to accept them yet, even to herself, but still likes the idea of you falling for her. Or maybe she's just too complicated regarding her feelings about you. The most appropriate thing to do would be to confront her with how you feel about this, and since she's your friend, she should listen. One very important thing you should know (since you are a guy) is that it is not like you aren't able to solve your own problems if you discuss them, not for girls, on the contrary, it gives them a feeling of intimacy. That's when a guy becomes a real friend to a girl, if he's open to his exchange of feelings with her. It will take you out of your dilemma and she will appreciate you for it deep down. Trust me. :)

[Subotai]

Naw I've been wheres he's been and sharing your feelings is just so much more candy for her. She will leave a lure of false hope every time. Its best he ignore her, what she has done is not right and she knows it. Its really not about her, who cares what she appreciates, she doesn't appreciate him, and I don't just mean as a lover she doesn't appreciate him as a friend. There is a honest and decent way to let down a person who has feelings for you, you don't reciprocate.

[Anonymous]

I'm not proud to admit this, but here goes

I was led on by a guy, lets call him X for months and months. I didn't even realize I was being led on until he tossed me aside for someone else, then I realized that we were never anything. He knew all the right things to say to keep me around. So after X and I stopped seeing one another (and no sex by the way, just making out and fooling around), I was upset and hurt and wanted revenge. So the next guy that showed interest in me, I purposely led him on, just to prove that I could.

Stupid and mean and selfish I know...

[Stephaniee]

Dude. Omg same here.

[Asker]

And it didn't make you feel crap that you are basically screwing with this guys head? I could never do that to somebody.

[TC123]

This kind of behavior isn't uncommon when you're a teen as most people are emotionally immature and borderline brain damaged. If you meet someone who does this sort of thing and they are in their 20's though I'd say get away from them.

[Opinion Owner]

Did it make me feel bad? Of course

Did it stop me? Eventually

If you think people under 18 are the only ones who play games while dating, you're going to be in for a shock when you join the real world. News flash, dating games were invented by people in their 20's. Think about it, they are in the prime of the lives, they are done with school, they have money, no responsibilities....they date around.

[TC123]

Shit, I know women who do this sort of stuff and they are in their 40's. Some people grow out of it, some don't. That's why I say avoid them.

Also, there's a big difference between "dating games" and manipulating another person just for the hell of it.

[DishLady]

Actually, you could ask guys the same question. There are certain types of people who just like to see if they still have the magnetic personality/charisma to attract people. Once they've proven that to themselves, they lose interest in the person they've charmed. It's not a nice thing to do, but it certainly does exist, among both genders.

[themastaplan]

you can easily turn away from a friend who is mistreating you...why the hell not...theres no respect if you continually get mistreated...

also girls lead you on because they know you'll chase them...the fix to this is STOP GIVING HER ALL THE ATTENTION!, seriously tho...youre giving in to her "leads" and she's taking advantage of you beacause in all hoensty who doesn't like attention from the opposite sex...she likes that you're into her and she knows you are, therefore she has the control at the moment...start showing that you don't care anymore and I'm sure she'll turn around and be like "hey, what the, why isn't he like he was, why doesn't he show me the attention he used to" - the answer, you're a man and you're not going to get played by her anymore...

good luck

[Brando]

Follow this advice. This girl has shown that she doesn't care too much about you. Move on and cut your losses man.

[Subotai]

Shes not your friend pal. She's mean to you and laughs at pain and suffering she helps to inflict on you. That's not what friends do to friends. Neither of you are friends. In your mind she's your girlfriend girl of your dreams, she's also probably wearing your birthday suit, in her mind you are a puny little creature who dances for her own entertainment, she feels she owes you no respect. So move the hell on and don't look back. I like what Dynamic23 had to say, turn the tables on her and let her know she can't have you, even if you are lying a little. But the best answer is to pretend she doesn't even exist.

[dynamic23]

I posted this in another question about leading people on, but I think it completely sends the right message, and it keeps your dignity. If she starts playing one day, play along for a while. Then as things start getting to the point where you know that she's gonna cut you off, catch her doing something to lead you on (maybe running her hand up your leg or something) and stop it. Then move in like you're gonna kiss her, and whisper in her ear, "Not in your wildest dreams." Then get up, straighten yourself up and leave. She'll get the message.

[Anonymous]

I have a guy doing this to me now. I understand he had a bad relationship prior...but do all girls (me) have to pay for it? I am a really nice girl and I really care about this guy and it seems we like each other but at times he is mean...outright ignores me, gives me dirty looks as if 'I' am doing something wrong, and seems to try to keep me interested while keeping me at a distance at the same time. I would never do that to someone...but isn't it always those like me who get to be on the receiving end of this crap?!?! One day those of us who are being led on will find something better while those who are leading us on will either be alone or looking for the next victim.

[TC123]

She is walking all over you because you let her - just walk away and ignore her. If she comes after you let it happen on YOUR terms, not hers.

Also, most girls out there don't do that sort of stuff so don't think that it's normal because it isn't. She probably has some mental issues or some sort of ego trip & your continued advances are only validating that all the more.

[sinful1620]

Most girls do it because they like the attention and feeling of power, and they like to feel superior like they have guys under their thumb.

She's not your friend. She's a bitch who's taking advantage of you. Stop wasting your time talking to the bitch.

[cristinaboss]

I only do it to guys who are cocky and think they can get any girl that they want because they're just assholes... karma's a bitch. That's why I will lead a guy on.

But never will I lead a nice guy on, cause I'm not that big of a bitch to do that either. They don't deserve it

[Anonymous]

i agree with huskerchick...i turn to friendship and wanna continue being friends with him being completely platonic...because I don't wanna be a bitch to completely avoid and ignore him...im more mature then that and he should respect that I'm not interested in him like that...

[HuskerChick]

probably because she doesn't want to ruin the friendship you have. It is just her way of saying that she would rather be friends instead of taking it to the next level and possibly ruining a great friendship.

[flannel_shirt]

Guess what? Friendship ruined!

[mortablunt]

I get this too. It stopped when I finally called her out on her crap and made her feel like dirt. I have gotten led on so many times that I view any girl with an attraction to me as a liar. Thanks for messing me up before I even turned 18!

[alysaa16]

sometmes to pis you off or mayb we like you and someone else and need time to make up our minds or because we like attention and like the idea of having somone like you evn though you don't like them so we keep you interested but not too much

[CocoPops]

If she isn't respecting you then she clearly isn't a true friend then is she?

Or you could just confront her about it, and ask her how would you feel if I did it to you?

[mortablunt]

And taking the kid gloves off doesn't hurt either. As a wise friend once put it: "Title IX practically requires me to punch you like a guy."

[Anonymous]

She has no respect for you, she doesn't care about you & definately not a friend. Don't give her no more attention. walk away from her. No one needs that aggravation just because you showed them you cared.

[Anonymous]

I only lead guys on, if they did something to really tick me off (like backstabbing)...that not even really leading on, they just had it coming...and then to think I would actually become their gf?! Ridiculous!

[brunettebelle]

Some love the attention. I don't really try because if I was walking on the street I am day dreaming.

[alexajade30]

She likes the attention and knowing she has/is something you want. It is flattering at your expense.

[Virago]

Manipulation is a man's best friend, Seduction is a woman's...

I think this should be enough!

[Anonymous]

Yes, you can walk away, and you certainly should. She's being total bitch, and that's not how a friend acts; ignore her like the scumbag she is.

[Anonymous]

Ignore her, she isn't worth it. You'll realize after a while she's nothing special.

[Duhitsmartha]

Maybe flirting is just part of her personality, it's not something she can help.

[Anonymous]

I'm a give you some terrible thrills.

[Anonymous]

It's fun