Girls, Why do girls seem to desperately want a guy that makes them feel negative emotions?

[Menelin]

I'm trying to figure out why the majority of girls seem to crave guys that make them feel strong negative emotions more than anything else.

Taking a look at some of the most popular romances, the protagonist gets emotionally attached to a guy that either pisses her off or makes her afraid.

In The Notebook, the couple has heated arguments which devolve into passionate make-out sessions.

The series Maid Sama is an anime for girls still popular after 10 years. The entire dynamic between the main character, Misaki, and her love interest, Usui, is based on him pissing her off every chance he gets. Eventually she breaks down in front of him, asking herself why she's falling for him even though he always annoys her. He then admits that he does it because her reactions are amusing to him, which deepens her adoration for him. Discussions about Maid Sama online are usually about wanting Usui or wishing that guys were like Usui.

In Twilight, Bella doesn't show real attraction to Edward until she finds that he's a vampire who could easily kill her, and that her blood is "his brand of heroin". This makes her afraid for her life, making her attached to him. This drives her into a cycle of tempting him to kill her, which makes her more afraid of him, which fuels her attraction for him, in turn driving her to tempt him further. Millions of girls wanted Edward to be their guy.

I don't think I even need to talk about 50 Shades of Grey.

In reality, I have a friend who brags about pissing off his girlfriends and admits that making girls angry is fun for him. I don't remember the last time he wasn't in a relationship.

While I'm at work, I hear girls talking about their S. O. s being dicks to them, but it doesn't lead to any resolution or an end of the relationship.

Am I missing something here, or do girls tend to willingly confuse negative emotions with chemistry and attraction?

[k0705]

I always enjoyed twilight because of the controlling and passionate nature of Edward over Bella. I am personally drawn to men who are confident and decisive, as I am neither of these things I find I am drawn to these characteristics.
The over protective behaviour behaviour from Edward is attractive to me as I feel more secure when being looked after as such, this may be due to a bad childhood and I was very naive for a long time.
As for being 'his own personal brand of heroin' I would love for a guy to need me that much and to do anything to be with me, don't know why but the insistent perusing of Bella and protecting her, following her, unable to stay away, this would be a massive turn on for me.

However this is just me, others may have different reasons 🙂

[Menelin]

I understand the want to be protected and desired. What I want to know is why fear and anger plays such a big role.

[k0705]

I'm not really sure, I had a previous partner who was very angry and mean yet I stayed for a long time, I think it may have been because I preferred being controlled to an extent and not having to make my own decisions.
Maybe it's our natural instincts to be drawn to the strongest meanest guys. I'm not sure. But you have got me thinking!

[Menelin]

That's one possibility, but I don't think it's the only answer. Strong attractions rarely have one reason.

[Emo_Hipster_Cat]

Being single is looked down on in the girl community

[Menelin]

That doesn't answer my question.

[Emo_Hipster_Cat]

Some women was raised that way and others just want to be in a relationship.

[Menelin]

I understand why girls tolerate it when they're in a relationship, but why do girls want and fantasize about it?

[yoursugarpacket]

When people argue they understand each other. Being in a relationship absent of arguing means a lot of secrets.

I fell in love with a man 5 years ago who seemed like a total sarcastic asshole, but underneath it all is a sensitive, romantic, helpful, and protective man.

When we first met all we did was argue. I literally said “I’m so done with his crap” almost daily then I’d suddenly want to go talk to him and sort things out not even a few minutes later.