Why do guys find the need to go to strip clubs for bachelor's parties? (Page 3)

Question

I think it's disrespectful that my fiance is going to a strip club for his bachelor's party when we talked about it before and he did it anyway and got a lap dance. I'm very upset and feel betrayed and want to call off the wedding at this point. He betrayed my trust and thinks it's not a big deal saying that he was drunk and it wasn't his idea it was his friends and they took him there. He may have been drunk but he still could have said no. I'm hurt and he could care less. He knew it would hurt me if he went and he agreed to not go and did it anyway.

Anonymous · Answer

It is definitely a concern that he failed to take into account how you felt towards it. I think its something couples have to agree upon before they do it. Personally, I would not have an issue with it, but if my fiancé felt uncomfortable with me going to a male strip club, then I would respect that and not go. I think you need to sit down and have a serious talk with him and how what he did makes you feel and why.

tnboy · Answer

Not sure they go huntin a need boild down to after such such day I'm gonna see the same bubbies Everytime I see tits I'm always gonna ride to pound town in the same... It's a hail Mary of sewing wild crop so to speak marry a guy who can't afford to go to the nudy bar problem solved

TripleAce · Answer

Ya but if a girl can get drunk enough to not know she's having sex with some random dude
Dont you think he can be drunk enough to also not fight his friends back and just go with it lol

Probably yes lol
I meAn ya he lied. Its bad. But its also a guy thing. And at your age you are still young adults
You guys want experiences. Meh. Pull a hissy fit. Have make up sex

Then bond again

LittleLila · Answer

Is it not enough that he is marrying you? He got a lap dance, he didn't have sex with someone. Are you the kind of girl to get mad when you think your guy was looking at another chick, despite whether he actually was or not?

Anonymous · Answer

I remember a cute drunk bacholerrete grabbed and hugged me in the Luxor at Las Vegas a few years ago. She kept clutching to me the entire elevator ride up in front of her friends. I was tempted to ask her friends if they needed someone to “escort” them back to their room. But I had a girlfriend at the time and I said no.

I’m no chippendale. I guess she was trying to get some single girl time out before she tied the knot.

Anyway it was a “hug”. That was it. No harm no foul. That’s how you should look at what your fiancé did.

Anonymous · Answer

The real concern, is that he hurt you, and could care less. The basis of that needs to be explored. Why is he so dismissive of your feelings? Especially when you both talked about it before. There is a bigger issue here, than him getting drunk and having a lap dance. it's called integrity, respect, and caring.

Synttacks · Answer

The tradition of a bachelor party is for the friends to check and make sure that the bachelor doesn't want to leave a monogamous relationship and keep being single. Assuming he didn't do anything naughty at the strip club (which his friends should have told you) there isn't any reason to be alarmed.

stifler1979 · Answer

My two best friends are a couple and we went to a strip club together a couple of times. He got a few lap dances and she was fine with it - she also got one herself. Don't be so insecure - it's just a lapdance - it has zero mental or emotional intimacy.

Hiilo · Answer

Heavily cultural point here. It really doesn't happen everywhere and isn't accepted the same way accross countries. I'd say, do you trust him less now that he saw some working girls naked? Do you feel like he's not worth living with now that his eyes have stared at a naked body?

MrMAC777 · Answer

This is an age old passage of a man going into married life. It is your last chance to experience other women as an unmarried bloke. They are harmless really, and no sex happened. Basically he got teased to death. I get that he said he wouldn't, but you must sympathize with the massive peer pressure from his friends for trying to puss out and not go. He didn't really have a choice.

mr_mxy · Answer

1 its tradition. 2 he gets to see another woman naked before he stays with one for the rest of his life. Its basically live porn. he's not cheating or anything. Hell iv known more women who straight up cheat before a wedding than men who have done it.

Mexicoman101 · Answer

I feel like it's a sending off ceremony into the holy & legal entrapment of monogamy that marriage is to some people, mostly jokingly so in my case. I've never been to a strip club cause I don't feel like getting erections around a bunch of other dudes in public but I would love a lapdance, actually. There's no harm in a lapdance, a lapdance never gave anybody the clap.

JSmith925 · Answer

I have never understood why a man would prepare for faithfulness with one more episode of debauchery. Makes about as much sense as getting ready for a track meet by eating junk food and watching TV.
~JSmith

Nerdking · Answer

Ladies the bachelor party is for the grooms FRIENDS ffs, it sad some women think a stripper > YOU Geez women want to control every aspect of a man's life now damm

Browneye57 · Answer

Whoa... huge red flag here. Marriage would be off if it were me.  Controlling a guy, and feigning the 'hurt' thing is a complete fail. You're just not ready for this.

wadeabeee · Answer

If he lied and said he wouldn't go then he could apologize for that, but you'd need to forgive him. For real though it's his bachelor party, he's having fun and enjoying the last time he'll have a bodily desire for other women. Don't lock him up yet, for God's sake after the marriage is eternity together. You deserve some fun beforehand, same with him.

mayanewton0 · Answer

He didn’t go there because you aren’t enough for him.

It’s just a fun time that he spent with his best friends. Something that they will remember forever.

Don’t call of wedding because of this. Please.

Honestly let this one go

liquorhole · Answer

Controlling already? Hope those divorce papers will cost you guys less than the wedding. Are your girl friends not taking you for a bachelorette party?

Halligan · Answer

My husband and I did not do that. We had a joint bachelor/bachelorette party at a wine crawl. We dressed up in costume. If we go to a strip club, we’re going together. 🤷‍♀️

Giggletr0n · Answer

What? It's his "last night of freedom". As long as he doesn't cheat, get too handsy or spend too much money then surely it's not worth calling off what could potentially be an expensive and well planned day over what is considered a typical bachelor party.

wave_rider · Answer

If something as trivial as looking at other women - who are there for money and nothing more - makes you so upset to the point of wanting to call off the wedding, I think you should just call it off on principle. Clearly you can't distinguish between a transaction that is the stereotype bachelor party thing to do, since he will only be seeing you from that point on, and going out with other women

oldoldold · Answer

You should definitely call off the marriage. You clearly don't know this guy and his values if he's surprising you with actions that have you questioning wearer you want to be with him.

If you're trying to control his actions. You need to adult up and quickly.

DennisBishop · Answer

He has cheater writen all over him right now. You discussed it and he did it anyway and now instead of apologizing he is blowing off your concerns. Anyone that sees your concerns as unimportant after you already discussed them will do this kind of thing again. Cut your losses and move on to something better. Don't lower your standards for this guy. You can have much better

Bachnalian · Answer

Get over it. Betrayed? You feel betrayed because your guy doesn't bow down to your wishes. Ha ha good for him. Feel glad you don't have a push over, you'd get sick of that real quick. Strip clubs are terrible. I plan on taking my daughter to one. She just turned 18 and I don't want her to be like you. I want her to know what's going on in the world so she doesn't have false expectations and fears.

ThisDudeHere · Answer

I really don't get the point of strip clubs. Why bother paying money just to have some whore grind against you and give you blue balls and then you go home. Might as well just hire a hooker.

Pinay_ako · Answer

If after telling your fiance your feelings yet he still went anyways, is a sign of lack of disrespect. Is a major red flag and you have every right to call the wedding off. Suffer now than suffer later.

HermitNYC · Answer

Look, I'm sorry, but this is not a battle worth fighting. Let it go. People do foolish things. Especially when their friends are insisting. Please, let it go. If he is a decent guy, he is still a decent guy, even if he went to a strip club.

jimyee · Answer

Get over it. And you should call off the wedding, you'd be saving him from a lot of head aches in the future and clearly you will never be happy.

ShortCircuit · Answer

You have every right to be upset, especially since you had explicitly agreed on it prior to his bachelor party.

Perhaps this is indicative of just how much self control and regard for your feelings he will have throughout your marriage...

azzntittiz · Answer

Because it's suppose to be the last time he gets to see other hoes naked, after that he will only have one hoe, let him have fun. Plus you sound like you're gonna get cheated on a lot in the future, get your practice in.

Anonymous · Answer

I'd be upset but please don't call off your wedding over this. I'm sure you're aware that it means nothing and your guy loves YOU. Try to work it out and let him know how deeply it hurt you. Tell him you're concerned about trust in your relationship. Also remember that love can br so hard to find be careful of letting it go in haste.

Anonymous · Answer

What's the big deal? I think you should try checking the place out before being so offended. Surprisingly, strip clubs have a lot of restrictions against guys, they can't touch the girls and some places don't even show everything. Even a lap dance is just a person sitting on you without you being able to do anything and that sucks. It's probably not even that they go to strip club for a bachelor's night for sex, it's mostly just a cool thing every dude should go to before it's "game over".

JDavid25 · Answer

It's basically the idea that they enjoyin the last of single male hood before they commit to a life long journey.. I agree it is disrespectful though.. I ain't doin it.. What's the point? LOL..

Anonymous · Answer

We don't. Most guys don't. I always thought it was something guys did in movies and television shows. I've heard about married people becoming addicted to pornography. That can happen to men and women. You should feel betrayed. He doesn't seem like someone who is going to be faithful to a marriage.

bubble_tea · Answer

Would you call off your bachelorette party if your friends organized it to be at a strip club? Would you really want to anger your bridesmaids who took their time and money to create something they thought everyone can have fun at?

Mrblueballs42 · Answer

Its weird how both fiances do this often guys night to strip club and girls go their chip n dales thing.
I think its a shame.
he isn't worth your time if he does that. Because he knew it would hurt you.
He could of said no no bachelor party in strip club. Drinking is not good either. What if you marry and friends go to strip club again. Im sorry tjis happened

chrisv · Answer

I did this the night before I was married (feigned sickness- and went home, leaving my buddies to it) it was more important to my friends than it was to me.. and I felt guilty but lived up to my promise to my Fiancée...

But it’s a common send-off. Try to move past it.. it’s like a ritual and largely beyond his control...

teq4life · Answer

First of all any friends that take you to a strip club for your bachelor party have no imagination and or are pigs not to mention strip clubs are a waste of money
I mean they probably could have found somebody on Tinder that would have did it for half the price and not went to strip club

Unbeltedbart · Answer

Calm down! Get back to your senses. There is worse! The reel question is in reality is... does he by is action with you or around you act or live disrespectful toward you, family or friends continuously. NO ! WELL GET OVER IT. AND HAVE A GOOD LIVE WITH HIM.

KMFDM · Answer

Immaturity. I have never done this when I was single and would certainly not if I knew it would hurt my loved one.

Anonymous · Answer

Wow it's only a strip club and a lap dance. You are blowing this way out of proportion. Most guys do that before they get married. It's not like he banged the stripper afterwards. If you're going to get so bent out of shape over this then it's just as well to call it off since in the long run you two are doomed anyway if you are going to get upset over every trivial thing. Probably for the best for him to since you sound do controlling, you sound like you wanted him to be pussy whipped.

Stavinair · Answer

Tradition? I may be 19 years old but that sounds fucked up man. If you ask me, I don't understand what is so appealing about strip clubs. Never been to one, never will.

Noora1 · Answer

Maybe because it's the last time of his ’freedom’ let him enjoy. I mean if he does it again, then that's when you can throw him away.

finding_dori · Answer

Gentleman's clubs are a big thing when it comes to bachelor's parties because it our last chance to see ass and titties before we get married. We want to get it out of our system before it's too late. its an unwritten rule in the guy code that we have to go to a strip club before we get married.

kjohn · Answer

I still wonder why... My mates say it's last day before you're tied into a relationship, but realistically, you are already tied into a relationship... just the tradition is a bit nonsensical...

Ahsthen · Answer

You're asking the wrong question, which is: why do guys go to strip clubs at all?

Because they're men. Also, most clubs have a back room where the girls can get all over them, but the guys can't touch them with their hands. I know this because the one time I went to one, hanging with my brother and his friend, my brother bought me a ticket. I spent the whole time talking to her, asking her about the business and her life in it, etc...

Edanurus · Answer

Because its meant to be your last night as a free man, and the bachelor doesn't get a say in what happens on that night at all. I would expect it at a bachelor party but then again in my circles id expect the groom to be dressed up as a stripper too so he'd fit right in.

me_who_else · Answer

The drunk factor plays a large role in this. If he was drunk before he went to the strip club and felt bad now, i would say let him off the hook. If he got drunk at the strip club and felt sorry about it now, he's an idiot, but if this was his first major mistake let him off. If he doesn't feel bad whatsoever, get rid of him and find someone better.

Shiznit69 · Answer

Most guys look at it from a "I won't be able to do it married" POV. That being said he is not married yet and feels this is the time to do it. Although I'm not condoning he did it after saying he wouldn't do it to your face. That part is disrespectful on many levels. Hope all works out for you

AquaBoo · Answer

The strip club isn't for him. It's for his friends. It's kind of like their last guys night. He was drunk ffs. And there's this thing called peer pressure. If you want to call off the wedding simply because of this one incident, don't get married.

synmusik · Answer

Not all of us with a D between our legs are the same, and me personally, see no point in any of that. First of all, why am I going to throw money away? no matter how well off I may be, it's stupid. but now discussing your subject the fact that he said he wouldn't and still went and is acting like it's not a big deal just shows he doesn't respect you your opinion or your feelings and that if it's this way now just imagine 5 years from now or 10 years from now and Beyond.

Anonymous · Answer

Hmmm... what he SHOULD have done is taken all the strip club money he and his friends would have spent, got a nice 5 star hotel room, and hired a couple of really beautiful, high end call girls to have the time of their lives with. WHY? Because he's expected to have no other pussy but yours for the rest of his life !! And since you're ready to call off the wedding over a lap dance, he'd be catching a break !!

Zumba_dancing_27 · Answer

They probably think this is fun and don't know what else to do. My sister sent her husband to a brewery that makes beers for him and the man party to try or they could have gone to a bar or a ball game. They chose the thing they shouldn't have done.

dawnm902 · Answer

I’m not sure why you’re upset. He didn’t cheat on you. He had fun with his friends. Lap dances are not that big of a deal.

Anonymous · Answer

Not at all disrespectful. If anything it is disrespectful to assume there is something wrong going on. Most of the time the fun is the banter. You should go to one, you will be surprised how inoffensive it actually is. I took my (grown up) niece to one and she spent all night picking up beauty tips from the pole dancers, then had a go herself. Or we should ban it all, send it underground, put women in danger or put of work, and for good measure ban hen parties and male strippers to make it fair.

SpooksTheDoll · Answer

I would call it off. If he intentionally went against your wishes a couple days before you’re wedding, you’re not right together.

Cosytoasty · Answer

Chillout. Surely you don't intend to control his every move when you're married?

outsidecurve · Answer

Strip club is the last hoorah before getting married. It's every man's right of passage. There is nothing wrong with it and if any guy says no to a strip club, then they are a big sissy.

Trippie_Bread · Answer

That lap dance isn’t really considered a lap dance. It’s a way of saying bye to all the ”dating” in his past. He’s found what he searched for (you) and that’s a way of celebrating it

DizzyDesii · Answer

So glad my boyfriend says he doesn't need that... we both know i can strip for him

Why do guys find the need to go to strip clubs for bachelor's parties? (Page 3)

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