Why are "needy" men such a turn off to women anyway?

[quantumdefender]

ok, bear with me for a moment,

I am a lonely guy, I freely admit it, I am in my own opinion a great guy, I just know I got needs and I am tired of rejections. but for some reason women hate it when men admit it openly.

but then I look at the news, and there are women who go to "prison dating sites" to meet guys! WTF

why would women choose to date scum than a decent guy who has an honest job with no drug habits and no kids?

[tex151]

Women hate needy men because they are so easy to get things they want from them. These guys bend over backwards for them. The key is don't do that, now opening the doors for them on a date and stuff is fine, but if your always wanting to be with them, always calling them, always volunteering your services like at her beck and call is a big NO. Do NOT do that. Take control of the situation and man don't be afraid to tell her no when she wines and about something stupid. Being needy to them means oh your a great friend not he will be a great boy friend. Now you don't have to become a complete bad ass comiting felonies to impress her or anything, but you gotta have some element of mystery to you, don't always be there for her, don't ditch your buddies if you were going out for a night on the town with them, that not only will piss your buddies off but to her she will know that you will drop everything to hang out with her, which is also part of being needy.Simply say I have plans tonight but tommarow night I will take you out. A needy guy would drop everything to be with her who cares if you don't hang out with her for one night.

Try this meet a girl get her number and ask her on a date now, do not call her a million times she will ignore your call and go damn this guy is so needy its freaking me out, simply call one time, if she answers great, if not the leave one message and only one say something like hey just wondering if your free tonight if you are then call me back and I would like to take you out to dinner. If she doesn't call you back that night then wait I would say 2 days and call her again if you get the machine again leave another message just one. If she never returns your call within the next couple days move on my friend move on.

[Misadventures]

YES!

It does not take long at all for a needy guy to drop from boyfriend to footstool status. It's hard to respect a guy when he makes you the center of his universe. It makes it seem as though you have no personality or ambition, and that'll earn you a position of Lapdog before you can snap your fingers.

Do NOT devote your life to making your girl feel like a goddess -this is not your baby girl, this is a fully grown woman who should be holding up her end of the relationship.

[Anonymous]

Because the world is sick my dear friend. Its nature. They are too blind to see how wonderful you would be if you had some love. You wouldn't be so needy if you had enough love in your life. Whether from your parents or friends or whatever. But the world is just plain sick and lots of people don't get what they need so they end up like you. And instead of helping you others cut you off because its frightening to them.

Most people fake their lack of neediness and so they have horrible fake relationships. That's about 90% of the population. You are ahead of them not behind. Just by simple honesty you are ahead of them.

My suggestion is to become un-needy in a REAL way instead of faking it like everybody else. They have to lie to themselves a lot to pretend they aren't as bad inside believe me. And it hurts them all the time not to be able to reach out to other people when they are in need. Well f*** them.

The real way to become un-needy is to find lots of love in your life. Not just girls. Start hanging out with lots of friends. If your parents were good people and are still alive, see them more often. Make lots of close ties. Get a circle of love cause you need it. Everyone does. If you live somewhere the people are cold and horrible inside like Ontario in Canada or many cities in the states, move. Move to where people are actually human. You will feel that much better and your neediness will disappear.

Much love to you and I hope the very best for you. And f*** the majority of people who don't understand this sh*t. They get what they deserve.

[ALWAYSclassy]

OK desperados who go to prison dating sites are not an accurate representation of all women.

Needy guys are just ugh. I like men who are masculine and confident.needy doesn't qualify as that. Many women want a man who is strong and feels like they can protect them. If he is needy and whiny, it's not going to be attractive.

Women who date scum, you're better off without them. Like attracts like, so if a woman keeps going after that guy she probably is on his level.

[Draper11]

Is this needy to you?
- i feel I need sex
- i feel I need consistent (bit not constant) companionship with a person that there os mutual history.
- monogomous and moral, thus the need for sex is solved by marriage
- therefore I feel I would be happier in a ling term serious relationship, and feel something is missing without it.
- therefore my goal of fating is to find a partner

When people sense this, they friend zone me because i am not in it for sex.

I am very masculine, and do not whine. Why is this a turnoff?

[Jamerz]

cuz those girls are dumb! I will be honest girls like a bad boy and I bit of a challenge. it took me a while to snap out of it and find myself a sweet, open hearted and caring guy. I mean no girl likes a guy who calls and calls and calls, always crying, and really needy. but if you just yourself and relax around a girl she feeds off that. I hope I helped you

[993099142]

I like needy men to a point. if they deserve my compassion and nurture because of their heroism or spiritual integrity then I would LOVE to take care of them, however, if they demand attention, without giving me any reason to love or care for them then yes they come off as pretty needy.

[bubblyblonde]

I think both sexes get put off by the thought of having a needy other half.

Its like your having to be responsable for your own life and happiness but for theirs too. An other half should be in your life to enhance the life you already have, not be the be all and end all of your life.

Best to try and get out, get some friends, some hobbies etc and make yourself a bit more interesting and less dependent on someone making you happy. :o)

[Draper11]

If this is the case, why would anyone get married and raise children? Signing ip for a pottery class would be MUCH easier. Dont get it

[Mamamialetmego]

Indication of no value. Why are you needy? It means no one interested in you. It means something is wrong about you. It means you have no value on women's eyes. Of a lot of women wanted you would you be that needy? Women want a man more valuable than them. Don't be extremely cool that don't care about girls of course but don't be too needy. Be a challenge. Be a man of value.

[whatgives]

Ok there is a difference beween being needy and being in touch with your emotions. I like men who are able to talk about their feelings, even SHOW them sometimes! But not men who become dependent and needy (as you put it). Yes we like strong men, but not ones with hearts of stone. But too vulnerable, that's no good either; most of us prefer not to have to mother our partner. It's a fine line but you just gotta balance it up.

[quantumdefender]

Ok, but how do women come to the assumption that a guy is needy without ever having had a date with him?

[whatgives]

Without meeting him? I presume then you mean internet dating? I guess you can pick up a lot of a vibe about someone by the way they word their emails etc, how often they're in contact, how quickly they reply etc etc. You don't want to come across desperate but not blase either. I suppose knowing how comes with practice, knowing what works and what doesn't. But the fact us women are all different and like different things in a man (good job really!), makes it all the more difficult. Sorry!