How quickly do guys get over girls they truly loved?

[Anonymous]

In my case, I started dating my ex again after 9 months apart. Our relationship was very rocky for 3 years, but it was full of love in a weird way. He clearly started feeling those feelings again when we started dating. He realized it wasn't going to work and ran to another girl within days that he was seeing this fall. Could he possibly be completely over me? How long does it take a guy who is truly in love to move on, even with help from another girl?

Updates

+1 y

I guess you guys were right, it's been 2 months of him telling me he can't get over me and he's still in love after a year "apart"... he cries every night thinking about me. And for me, it's easy to just block him out and move on, as much as I still care

[Confusedgirl94]

So my boyfriend and i broke up a month and a half ago, we stayed together for over two years. We didn't break up over lack of love or that one of us met someone else. We basically broke up cause of problems that kept happening and couldnt be fixed. We broke up on good terms (we're friendly and still care a lot about each other)
Anyway, what i dont understand is that i recently found out that he's been trying to move on by being with other girls.. While i can't be sexual with any guy, im just unable; i feel disgusted by all guys although i miss the intimacy we had.
Bottom line is, i dont understand how can i be in this state and he is okay with being with other girls. Although i know he hasn't moved on and i was the one who initiated the breakup. He even won't go out with our friends when im there because he feels uncomfortable seeing me with other guys. Im just completely confused and feel lonely. Any help please?

[teardrop06]

I think that a person can get over a person fast enough if that person meets someone that results in stronger feelings than the girl before. I have had one of my friends do that. Love a guy to death and met another guy not that long after and fell in love with him. Even more than the her first love.

[rallz93]

Well , he seems like he was over you before you guys started the second time , it was just a illusion that he loved you again, something that just lasted a few days .

[mrlonelyone]

When two people are really truly in love they may never get over each other.

I can't know if he was truly in love with you or not. People your age are known to see true actual love... and to be unwise enough to run from it. On the other hand people your age are also known to be unwise enough to mistake other emotions for true love which may not be love at all.

In any case his being in a new relationship is more than likely a rebound from you and will end very soon. It will not mean he's over it, in fact such relationships will mean he takes longer to get over it.

[Asker]

That's sweet and kind of shocking to hear that guys never really get over it. I guess if I saw any of my ex's again, those loving feelings would come back and I could never go back to being strictly friends, so I guess you never do get over that person. the memories just fade.

[trunks13grl]

definatly agree!

[ksmbutt]

we never get over that girl we love

[lily85462155]

aw :,(

[evo220]

I really hope you're wrong man

[loverboysofty]

That first girl that we love, we will always love. Mainly because that was the first we truly and whole heartedly experienced love with. That was when we were first introduced to the concept of love. We'll never forget the girl that that brought us that feeling. I know I can't

[chris88]

I love all the warm fuzzy bullsh*t on this site, ugh. Anyway, You were in love and it didn't pan out. I feel ya! I'm nursing a broken heart myself. However, your question...how long does it take to get over you...that answer, he already has. He's with another girl! Is he "completely over you"...well, he's over you enough to be in bed with another woman right now. He started dating you again because he probably had nothing else going on, wanted to see if he could rekindle, realized he didn't have those feelings anymore, and got out.

I'm sure you are a wonderful person. Don't waste anymore time on this guy...destroy or put away all the pics from him/your relationship, remove him from your faceobok and phone, cry and let any emotions out that you have to, and jump back into meeting new guys again. He's not the only one for you, and moreover you want to be in a relationship that isn't "rocky". Don't settle for less. Good luck!

[Asker]

Wow, talk about tough love. I know he's a jerk and it's not going to work. He did have those feelings again, certainly lots of them but I was the one to turn him down, hence probably the reason he ran to someone else the day after. He asked me to move in and date him and I harshly said no and that it wouldn't work out. Obviously he doesn't care how he treats me now, but I think it's in response to my harsh reaction to his feelings. He always has girls around so it wasn't out of lack attenti

[bigworm341212]

Yea, we never really get over the girl we love. Eventually you accept things for what they are and they don't affect you, and you are totally fine without her but she will always be there. Just because he is with someone else doesn't mean he is over you. People react to situations differently. Some people latch on to others to help fill the void created. There is also a psycholigical term called transference where individuals transfer the feelings from one person to another. Pretty much why rebounds don't work. You think you have feelings for the new person but after time passes you realize you still miss your ex.

[dave0909]

I dated a girl for 2-3 years and even though we've been done for a while I still think of her. I'm over her but I can say that we really shared some intense feelings towards each other. From my previous experiences thus far, I can say that we fell in love yes. But I've never been married yet obviously so I can't garruntee that it was "true love". But I still wish her the best at what she does in her life. I wouldn't ever think about going back to her though because my philosophy is, people break up for a reason so don't fool yourself.

[chris88]

So, he was in love with you, had those feelings for you, and went with someone else the next day? I'm not trying to be a jerk here, I'm just trying to show you the obvious, that he either loves you or doesn't. If he was begging you to move in and then went into the arms of another girl the next day, not only does he not love you, he's a needy douche and needs to have a woman pay attention to him. Really, run for the hills from this one. If you told him to get lost, that's good, but if you told him that and are trying to move on, why are you on here asking if he's over you? Just stop talking to him. You don't want anything to do with a guy that flaky, and worrying about whether he likes you or not is a waste of time.

And, if you truly love a woman, it will take different amounts of time to move on emotionally, depending on how long you were together. What's the "standard" ...2 weeks for every month you were together? I've read that... I 'd say that's pretty accurate in my experience

[josesmaf]

Define over. I truly loved a girl I dated for two and a half years in high school. We broke up, and I spent the next year pining over her and missing her. She's engaged now to a guy eight years older than her and her family keeps dropping hints that they wish it were me and not him that was going to marry her. I occasionally hang out with the two of them, and don't have the uncontrollable urge to beat the living daylights out of him, however I've thought about what it would be like to have a relationship with her, even six years later, but I know she wasn't the one for me. She will, however, always have a special place in my heart.

[chris88]

josesmaf, why are you hanging out with your ex girlfriend and your fiancee? Do you enjoy torturing yourself? I say this with all the brotherly love possible, but really, grow a set of balls. Your ex is getting married and your hanging out with her and her dude? Because you're "friends" right?And who cares what her family tells her..she's in love with that guy, not you! Even If you were my best friend sitting here right now, I'd tell you to stop being noodle spine and quit talking to that girl.

[josesmaf]

Lol. If I made it sound like we get together every week, sorry. Once or twice in six years is probably more accurate.

[theacefospades]

noole spine. Ha that's awesome.

By the way not having the desire to beat the tobacco juice out of him?

how the hell do you do that?!

[theacefospades]

not have the desire I mean

[Anonymous]

Guys never get over a girl they truly loved. Girls are much better with their emotions. Your ex is probably running to this other girl to ease his pain of the breakup, but rest assured he'll be thinking of you every time he hears your name. Or sees your car you drive. Or your favorite TV show. I don't think guys fall in love as easily as women, but when they do, they never forget.

[Jaggedkill]

When I Broke it off with this Chick I Really Loved, It Always Made me Down and Feel like I was Missing Apart Of Myself, Truth Is I Don't think Some of Us Do Get Over It, But We have to Continue To Love And Share Love That's How I Delt With it Getting up And Hoping The Next day would be better then Before.

[stillmissu]

but why did you break it off with her if you really loved her?

[Jaggedkill]

I Dident Have a Choice Man, As Good As We Were For Each other I dident Think I Could be Good Enough For Her it all started in an Argument. I regret it Alot, But those Feelings Were Explored And there's Nothing down that Road for me.

[MikeK]

I believe it's much harder for a guy to get over a breakup than a girl, that is if he doesn't find anyone else. But if another girl enters his life, it makes the transition much easier whereas women seem to be able to move on much better unless she's one of the few psycho stalker women out there (I.E. Fatal Attraction).

[thisGUYknows]

i think its easier for guys because of that whole macho thing. if your friends see you moping around the jokes are soon to follow. guy friends don't let each other mope. in that case, its a night on the town.

[WakaFlocka]

There is no getting over the girl you loved. Not now not ever. I met the love of my life when I was 10 and it still breaks my heart knowing that she is with another man [who is a complete douchebag].

[justlovely2009]

aww.thats so sad.

[theacefospades]

the next day.

but also never.

one is to the world and one is at the twilight time between sleeping and waking

[Asker]

sounds like a very interesting concept... could you explain further so I get it fully? You're saying the next day you can act like you're fine but really when you're alone and able to reflect you think about "her"?

[theacefospades]

exactly.

I had this happen to me when I was in high school. I had a crush on a girl in my class. Her parents were the type that wouldn't let her date anyone till who knows when. Long story short we were friends. I asked her out got shut down, ruined our friendship, and left the school at the end of the year. (sophomore year)

About a year later I was dating another girl. (for the first time since then)

But I still thought about and had dreams about the first gal. I still do occasionaly

[theacefospades]

also you may act fine and actually be "fine." It's not like you're about to burst into tears or planning suicide. But it will all ways be a "what if" thing.

You are not over it in the sense that you've forgotten.

Instead you understand what happened you might regret what you did wrong. But you are able to move on and "not let one moment define your entire life."

(bonus point for nerds. What comic book is that line from. I'll give you a hint "One Moment in Time.")

[bellybuttonlint]

I completely disagree with some of the guys here. I've gotten over girls that I love, even though it took, sometimes over a year. You just have to find a really special girl who can do that for you.

[kriskiss]

Well if he really loves you it should take him forever...but some guys jump into another girl to help get over previous one.

[freepheonix]

I have to agree with ksmbutt, I still think of my first love from time to time and that was over 20 years ago.

[Yeahhbro]

Well it has been a year and I haven't got over her.

[Anonymous]

As ksmbutt said:

we never get over that girl we love

It really is true

[brandon-j]

honestly, they will never stop loving them. It's called unconditional love. But they do stop thinking about them and that is what matters

[Anonymous]

I have a friend who is a guy and he was with his ex for 10 months and still after 2 years he still isn't over her.

[Arwens-Fire]

It varies from guy to guy...

[melencoly]

truly loved... never.