Do GUYS like it when a girl is giddy?

[Anonymous]

Do guys actually like girls that are giddy and are all so happy it makes me sick? It is so fake, don't you see it? In school, guys always went for the fake "happy" girls who say "yea" all the time. It is really annoying. Yet someone like me who isn't that excitable, but I have my moments, when I laugh or smile it is REAL, not fake like these girls. Do guys not see that these girls are just fake? Or do girls only notice these things?

[Hercules]

This lack of depth in understanding of others is widespread among men AND women. Yes, in many cases this "giddy" attitude you're talking about is fake, though, sometimes it's not. The point is, in high school, before, and a little after (or a long time after), people still cling on to self-defense mechanisms, namely, denying the truth. These "giddy" girls refuse to believe they have problems or they are sad, so they act the opposite, but when no one is around they break down in tears. Guys who are (or aren't) attracted to them aren't as profoundly unadmitting, but still are. Two fake people are more likely to meet up than an introspective person and a fake person.

You just need to find the people who aren't fake. It's hard, but it can be done. And also, please don't disrespect the "fake people" because they really can't help it sometimes. Things get so bad the only way they know how to deal with their life is to live in a fantasy world. Maybe you're strong enough to not need one, maybe I am too, but that doesn't mean we should look down on them.

The strong need to help the weak, so instead of complaining about them, why not try and help them face their fears? Show them they aren't alone and people will stand by and care for them?

[Asker]

Oh I am sure that those giddy people have many people to talk to. It is me that they should be talking to. They have all the friends, and have everything going for them. So I think they look down on me. I think you have that backwards. I think I have more self confidence issues than they do.

[Hercules]

You're grossly misunderstanding this situation. These "giddy people" don't have ANYONE to talk to. The level of emotional understanding and admittance you have is something they don't, and because they surround themselves with similar people, most of them don't get any help.

"Having everything going for them". So they're straight A students, rich, eternal loves, etc? Please! That is ridiculous. They have a life of denying reality, and that's about it.

You aren't denying reality, they are.

[Hercules]

So when you talk about you having more self-confidence problems than them, think again. There's are so bad they actually abandon reality to conform. You haven't done that, which means you're strong. Even if it hurts like hell, you're still stronger because you haven't given in.

You just have to stop looking at them like they're better than you, because they aren't. You're one step ahead already.

[Asker]

I don't hate them. But how do you know that they have self problems themselves?? At least they can get out into society and have fun, whereas I can't.

[Hercules]

They're living in the Matrix. The life you think they have, they only appear to. The fun you think they have may seem great, but it's only covering a body of lies. I know this because I've spent much of my life analyzing and trying to help these kinds of people. Being jealous of them won't do you any good, you need to find people like you, and find and do what makes you happy. I don't see any reason why you can't do well in society and be happy.

Explain why you don't think you can?

[Asker]

Yeah, I do agree with you. I don't hate these people, it just seems like they are better at socializing then I am. I have some people I talk to too, but I am not really popular I guess you could say. I just don't understand why? I have my days that I feel like I can't do anything, then there are days that I feel like I can do anything. I think every person has issues, some more than others.

[Hercules]

We've all got to work around our limitations. Why not try asking people you know if you act a certain way that might push people away or scare them? Try and find out why you can't do what they do, or just choose to live as who you are. I only conform when I really have to.

[ALWAYSclassy]

Just because people appear to have a lot of friends, doesn't mean they truly have a close bond with them. Sometimes you can feel alone even in a crowded room.

[Asker]

I always feel alone in a crowded room. And there IS no one!

[Hercules]

You don't have a single friend? What about family?

[Asker]

Sure I have family, but friends are also important, no? I don't really talk to anyone in my classes. I only made one friend in unversity, and we have no classes together. So I am basically alone. Everyone in class is sitting and talking to people, and I just sit there alone. Sometimes I don't care, but other times it makes me really uncomfortable.

[Hercules]

Have you ever walked up to any of the other people in class and talked?

[Asker]

Easier said then done. lol. But I have talked to some people, just not very many.

[Hercules]

Well, if you haven't even really tried to talk and make friends, isn't it kind of obvious you'd be alone?

[Asker]

You just don't understand.

[Hercules]

How can you say I don't understand if you haven't even tried explaining? I spent most of high school by myself too, but I've learned to find and talk to people. You say I don't understand, well, you may be right, but you haven't even TRIED to explain it. If you want help being less alone you can't expect it to just miraculously happen, you've got to try!

[Asker]

Yeah, I know. I just am shy and have to get used to a person before I start chatting with them. I am not the kind of person that has thousands of people that I call friends. I have a few, and I am more comfortable with that. I wish it were more easier for me, but I guess I am a lot better than I used to be. lol. BUt I get what you are saying. . .

[Hercules]

For me, I usually have a few friends I keep in contact with. I don't want 10,000 friends. If you're like me, and fewer friends makes you more comfortable, then making one or two more friends shouldn't be too hard, right? I know its hard, being shy and all, but it's just like working out, the hardest part is starting. It's easier after that.

Also, do you think you have any bad past experiences that might be causing you to have a terrible time communicating?

[Asker]

Not really any bad experiences. I have had embarrassing moments before, but usually all these things I forget because that is usually what people tend to do if something bothers them. I was always quiet, and my parents probably are a reserved as well. So that could have influenced me. I never was in any clubs or anything like that growing up. The times I did go to gathering it felt awkward, like I didn't fit in, so I don't really go to things like that anymore.

[Hercules]

I guess you just need more experience with talking to people. You don't have to start with guys, just start talking to whoever you feel most comfortable talking to. You're still in school so now's a great time to start! : )