What does it mean when a guy says he's damaged goods?

[Anonymous]

I accidentally texted my guy friend saying I'm so happy with him but he replied back saying be careful, he's damaged goods. We're talking and kind of just doing things in the moment. We go out on dates and meet each others family, but we're more friends with benefits since we have sex too. I'm not asking him for a relationship just yet, I just wanted to express my feelings because I felt happy after our date. But I feel like every guy I meet ends up not being worth it and I have a feeling he's not so I don't want to fall too hard for him but I like him a lot or at least I like hanging out with him and doing things like a couple. But what does he mean when he says he's damaged goods?

Updates

+1 y

thanks guys!

Updates

+1 y

I do want to express my feelings more and be more lovey dovey with him but I'm not sure if he really wants to since he says he's damaged goods. He's been cheated on before so I don't know if he's just being protective or what.

[TheGodEmperorLeto]

Could mean a lot of things.

Could mean he was in a relationship and it really screwed him over and so he's got a negative mindset toward such things.

Could mean he is just using you for sex and using that as an excuse to not be in a relationship with you, but still get the sex.

Could mean he doesn't really think you're interested so he's stealing himself against your possible rejection by thinking to himself negatively or something. That one might seem weird, but I've seen it. Confused the f*** outta me from my guy friend.

But ya, there are various reasons. Hard to say for sure.

[TheGodEmperorLeto]

grr, need to proof read, meant "steeling himself"

But if he's been cheated on than ya, I can understand him better now. It's him just being protective. If you really wanna help him stay in contact, keep helping him, show him how much you care.

[Belgie]

He's probably trying to be dark and mysterious, since actual guys who are "damaged goods" don't ever refer to themselves as being damaged goods.

Damaged goods could mean, for example, he has a mental illness like schizophrenia. Or a drug problem. Or has a compulsion to set fires. Or cuts himself. Or he has a criminal record.

But when a wannabe poser says he's damaged goods, he probably means his dad smacked him when he was a child, or his mom didn't understand him, or his last girl friend made him a miserable emo type.

[Annnnaaaa]

He is not into you. I dated guy who claimed he is damaged goods for 6 months. Tried to get any affection from him and break through his shell. Nada. Having a bad break up in the past is not an excuse to treat me as sh-t. We all had been hurt at some point. He just did not liked me enough, that's it. But he needed my company at the time. So I dumped him. Move on. That guy is not into you. Guys are simple.

[EZlats]

Well there's only two kinds of damage: physical and emotional. Physical, I'd say that's pretty obvious. Something happened and he's got a scar or something bad.

Emotionally would mean he's already gotten his heart broken before and he might have issues with connecting, opening up, etc.

[Asker]

Yeah his ex cheated on him. I was also cheated on by my ex and we found each other and kind of like bonded but I don't want anything serious yet becuase I'm tired of being hurt too. But I feel like I want to be lovey dovey with him but I'm not putting all my energy into him because I don't want to be disappointed again. But if he says he's damaged goods, does that mean I'm undateable to him? I thought we had something going on but when I told him I was happy, he made it seem as though I shouldn't

[Asker]

*really say I'm happy with him until he's undamaged. Idk

[Thiezz]

> But if he says he's damaged goods, does that mean I'm undateable to him?

He doesn't see *you* as undatable, he sees himself as such.

[EZlats]

I agree with Thiezz ^^^, it's not because of you. He doesn't want to get attached to anyone to quickly. It doesn't mean he thinks you'll cheat on him, he's just worried that he'll get attached and have his heart broken again. Just give it time.

[l-hedoniste]

It means that he has some emotional issue that would make a relationship with him difficult and perhaps unwise.