Guys: are you attracted to tomboys?

Question

I was wondering what you guys thought of tomboys. I look like a normal female, but I like dressing up in jeans and a nice top for going out. I don't use a lot of make-up either.

I noticed that I have been losing out to prospects to the more "girly girl" type. I have been so frustrated that I was thinking of changing my appearance to appear more feminine and girly. Is this the right approach?

bobair · Accepted Answer

First, yes. I love 'em.

But there's two types of Tom Boys...

1) A girl who just prefers being comfy, hanging loose with the crew, and not being overly bothered with the social games found at the bar and such.

I love this type of girl because she's not fighting with other women regarding the typical catty dramas, AND she's more comfortable in her own skin. She's still feminine in a less outward expressive way.

She's sexy because she's confident. And she's still smooth and yummy when she's naked.

2) The other type of Tom Boy is a "masculine" type of girl. She's more about expressing herself in a masculine way... typically they are mechanics, doctors, lawyers, etc. These girls prefer rules and structure, and sports, and will sometimes be annoying because they prefer to argue and be right. The masculine energy they express pushes masculine men away, which makes them attract feminine guys - like musicians, actors, artists.

If you find you're losing the interest of guys you like you should amp up your flirting. This doesn't mean you need to dress different, but I promise you that guys are FAR more attracted to women who flirt back, over women who don't.

Flirting isn't about being slutty, it's about sexy, and fun, and challenging, and strong. Flirting is about building tension. Laughing is about releasing tension. So good flirting should increase tension and release tension, over and over again.

Stay fun, increase your smiles and eye contact, and you might find men will be more comfortable approaching you.

Hope this helps,

~ Robby

My Blog ( link )

Cheekynicko · Accepted Answer

To me just be yourself I have no problem with appearance at all - providing she is clean. If you start changing your character just to please/attract a man then potentially the act could be needed for quite some time and could take its toll. Some tom boys fall into the trap of not looking like they have made an effort at all, just because someone does not show acres of flesh or using tonnes of make-up doesn't mean you shouldn't be presentable. Tomboy to me just means comfortable with out assistance hence low maintenance. Nothing worse than someone taking 6 hrs to get ready to go out by which time the spontaneous thing is no longer happening, then you end up getting up next to Alice Cooper.

I suspect it is more to do with the places you are going to meet the guys. Ultimately men are initially switched on by appearance so in a night on the town environment I wouldn't be surprised with what you are saying, you may have to be prepared to make the first move more regularly than you would like.

Please stick with it and rely on your charm and personality to work its magic,

urstruely · Accepted Answer

I say, be what you are and don't change. I'm in high school (bet you're thinking what do I know) but I've come to realize that I like me as me. I like wearing (unisex/ guy like) tshirts everyday, I like having a lower yet female voice and I enjoy yell cheering during my sport, I like not following, understanding, nor caring about fashion, I like being agruetive and independent (well, for me, obviously since I'm still a student), I like having a strong voice in politics and actually know what I'm talking about, not basing it off of what mommy and daddy say like many of my peers do and I enjoy debating about issues in class, I like being proud and stubborn, although they are my downfalls, and most of all, despite my drive, I take pride in the fact that I've never dated, or made out with some random guy like a bunch of my spineless moraless, sluty, empty  peers have. Yes, this doesn't answer your question directly, but in my eyes it does because I'm telling you to be proud of who and what you are and don't change for the world around you. Be in the world, but not of it; that makes one their very own unique individual.

krosantje · Accepted Answer

Well you should ask yourself if you like who you are and how you are.. Don't change who you are for anyone but yourself. You can try to add a little touch of you would like, you wear your clothes but put on a little blush and mascara. Or you let your hair loose (if its long) or make sure you still look good just the way you are.. being tomboyish nothing wrong with, a lot of men find it attractive aslong as you still love bein the female you are. Don't be afraid to show someone you like him, cus the girlie girls will, smile, be your happy self and don't let anyone make you think you shouldt be just the person you are. maybe you'll enjoy wearing a dress maybe you wont, just don't do anything that doesn't feel right to you, cus you not being in touch with yourself will be visable to others. and a confident happy person is way more attractive than a person that doesn't like who they are.. so just do what you like and feel good with and love and accept who that is.

LouyJay · Accepted Answer

Don't change just to get a guy! I'm in the same boat and know how you feel!

But don't change because that would not be right and you want a guy to like you for you, right? Just be patient and try to make it clearer that you are interested so you don't always slip into being "friends".

I've heard a lot of guys actually say that they prefer tomboys in some respects as they can hang out with them and have a girlfriend all in one! As long you look after yourself and have a friendly personality then it shouldn't be impossible to find a guy... theoretically at least...

So my best advice would be to actually put yourself out there more and to just be patient.

Hope that helps! :)

Calmador · Answer

I like the girlie girls more... I like tomboy girls but you know what... I think there always comes a point where it just seems awkward that a girl acts a lot like a guy. It becomes repulsive to me.

I love how girls can be dependent and emotional. Something guys aren't. Soft personalities... noticing little things... beautiful things and then over-racting it seems to these things ha ha I like that even though a lot the times I think it doesn't make sense.

Think about it this way... what if a guy started acting like a girl in front of you. I doubt you'd like him as much as a solid masculent guy. I wouldn't think much of a guy who acted like a girl. It would be straight up shameful. A guy is suppose to have certian attributes, that girls don't naturally have. Being brave, guy attribute... for example say a guy and his girlfriend are walking down a dark alley... they see a suspicious shadowy man in the distance... the girl gets scared and clings unto her bf's arm, boyfriend reassures that it's OK and that he'll protect her... now lets put a guy in that acts like a girl... and you got two scared "girls" clinging unto each other. No guys should act like guys, it's difficult, but it's unwritten, invisible responsiblity.

Likewise I think girls should be girls and take notice of little things, be more sensitive and loving. That is wonderful and if all girls became tomboys, we'd lose that in our world. And quite frankly I think it would be a darker, sadder world.

That's me, also I think tomboys exist because of outside interferences... like a girl having lots of brothers or a girl having to live a really tough life and well has to be like a man and be brave. Those two reasons are always given to me whenever I ask a tomboy about it.

I like girlie girls more because it makes sense. =]

ThickRick · Answer

My wife is more on the "tomboyish" side than "glamor" side. In fact, I wouldn't consider her very glam at all.

I find it easier to connect with her since there are a lot less differences to bridge. I love it. I love the fact she doesn't watch Hollywood Access and Lifetime BS...at the same time she knows how to be a woman.

She's not quite a sports fanatic but more into the heavy metal scene (without the ridiculous make-up and hair that comes with it). We get along like friends and romance like lovers. She's like the girl next door.

Blinky · Answer

Don't change to be somebody else.. There are many guys that would want to go out with somebody how they look sure but it is not likely to last long because all he likes is how she looks not her personality.

I personally like tomboys more then the girlie girl types. As somebody else said the more "girly girl" types will have more luck in bars, cause in bars all a guy wants to do is hook up for the night and not have a meaningful relationship and that is probably not what you want. You will eventually meet somebody.

JaredRN · Answer

If it's not really you, you're just trying to be somebody you're not.  And anybody can see a fake.  If you don't feel comfortable in the clothes that you're in, it'll show.  Try to think about it rationally if that is all possible.  Do these girlie girl types get the guys they want?  Are those the guys you want?  If either answer is no, then I think you're more self conscious that you think guys just don't notice you.  If that is the case, ask your self, do you want guys to notice you more like your "girly girl" friends?  Think about it.

Belgie · Answer

In the UK at least, tomboy is a whole subgenre of p*rnography. (You can find it listed on some hotels adult movie channels) So yeah, there are definitely guys who are attracted to that type.

If you change your appearance, sure you might attract more attention. But will you be attracting the sort of guy who likes the "real" you?

Daenad · Answer

Don't change to be something you're not. The guy you're with should like you for you, not the illusion you try to make of yourself. Remember, the girlie girls will prob be more successful in bars etc. you however have the rest of the time to make up for it (if you're a tomboy you probably will have more common interests with them and hence more opportunity to hang out with them).

Malcom_Reynolds · Answer

I am, but not necessarily more to them than more girlie girls.  As far as how to dress goes, it doesn't make a big difference to me.  While I like both "types" I can't go solely on stereotype to say which I like better as there are certain aspects I like in each.

Fc180 · Answer

Honestly once a guy told me (while breaking up on me) that "I am a natural beauty but I should do more out of me!"...well thanks to this one stupid sentence he made the break up quite easy for me! At that time I just couldn't get bothered to put make up on and or wear dressy clothes. I don't really know why but I wouldn't want a boyfriend who is just with me because I wear short skirts, lot's of make up and wear high heels all the time!

aloneinlove143 · Answer

Don't worry about the prospect that bypass you for how you are dressed. Stick to who you are and the right guy who will appreciate you for who you are. I personally like girls who are tougher and don't get too girly. I actually find it sexy and I find it attractive. Just as long as you don't. Punch me in kidneys when your mad at me =P

AmazingParkour · Answer

As long as you're still a fully-loaded girl on the inside, it doesn't matter what you wear on the outside.

SilentG · Answer

We can't give you an answer until we see how you currently look like. Forgive me but your question is pointless, it's the sort of "how do I look like" and "what do I do to look more attractive"... so putting it this way will not help.

doctorwhofan23 · Answer

I want a girl who is kind of in between being a girly-girl and a tomboy maybe leaning more towards the girlie side of it.

Anonymous · Answer

Basically I always universally girls without make up more attractive.

WeaponZero · Answer

I prefer tomboyish girls to girlie girls any day of the week. Don't change just to get a guy.  There's plenty who prefer tomboys out there.

DirtyDlish · Answer

Hella   the best kind of f*** buddy. I really don't like that dainty prissy addition some girls carry around too much.

scar1 · Answer

as long you take care of yourself its fine there are plenty of guys who like tomboys

Lamnad · Answer

I love tom boys. I love the idea of doing the things I love with the girl I love.

Anonymous · Answer

Hot - if you're 19 or younger, but if you're older than that -which means it's not just a phase- I tend to think of them as lesbians.

yatta · Answer

I prefer tomboys, specially short-haired, flat-chested, meganekko, but that's just me

ktp1990 · Answer

I agree with bobair and I also love the first type of tom boy his talked about.

Guys: are you attracted to tomboys?

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