What is this type of guy attracted to? Tomboys, girlie girls?

Question

The guy who just seems too cool to talk to women. He constantly has this look on his face of not giving a f***. He has a few male friends, is very calm at all times and seems unfazed by pretty much anything. Typically attractive and down-to-earth, doesn't speak to women unless spoken to first and is generally friendly when approached. This isn't any particular guy, I've seen many samples of this type of guy.

So what could this type be attracted to? Tomboys, girlie girls? It never seems like a woman grabs their attention.

SteelyMcBeam · Accepted Answer

I'll bet he's attracted to women in general. He just never approaches them because he's seen too many examples of guys getting shot down and is above looking so foolish.

We see it all of the time on television: guy asks a girl out and ends up looking like a creep. We see it in real life: girls complaining about being hit on all of the time. We even talk about it: link

link

Why should he make an ass of himself with a girl who has no interest in him? The moment the guy makes the wrong call and asks a friendly girl who only wanted to be friends is the moment the guy risks losing respect and social status. The girl will now tell someone that she was hit on by said guy and everyone who hears the story will downgrade their opinion of him depending on the story they hear.

I've never been hit on by the opposite sex before in my entire life, so it is hard but not impossible for me to understand that women get sick of being hit on. Guys who are intelligent enough to know this do not want to risk their social status by being shot down.

The moment you are shot down for anything -be it applying for a job, asking a girl out, inviting people to a party- is the moment you look less attractive in other people's eyes.

However, the moment you are successful is the moment you look *more* attractive in other people's eyes. That's why some SUCCESSFUL guys are so good with women, whereas other guys who have never had success remain unsuccessful.

Types! HAHA! I think every guy could have interest in just about any type under the right conditions. All that matters is she has things in common, is attractive, of similar or better intelligence, genuinely has sexual interest in the guy, and that she was born the same gender as she is now.

ketfoen · Accepted Answer

Many of these guys are gay and in some kind of denial or just trying to hide it from the rest of the world before coming out.

Truly, they open up at the gay or bi clubs that's how many girls want to call them, bi-clubs hahahaha.

I knew a couple of guys like this in the past and this one time a couple of female friends talked me in joining them to one of these clubs, convincing me it's not gay at all, yeah right.

I was surprised to see 2 of these guys with the characteristics you mentioned in your question, partying and totally loose, getting shots poured into their mouths by other guys holding the shot glasses in their mouths and licking salt from each others neck. If that ain't gay, than I don't know what is gay perhaps.

From my experience many girls are in complete denial when they try to avoid the obvious signs that a guy could be gay, perhaps they are secretly hoping to start something with the guy.

Bi clubs or straight friendly gay clubs are just too weird for me, I have never visited one since that day.

luvu209 · Accepted Answer

If you are asking this question, because you want to know if you would be this person's type, I think you are going about this the wrong way. Don't think about what type of girl he likes. I've done this before too. It has caused me to make wrong assumptions about people and then miss out on getting to know the person because of it. For example, I've assumed certain guys to be out of my league and only want a girl who is like the "it-girl." Then, when that person actually has a girlfriend, I see that that's not his type at all and that maybe I could have had a chance with him. If you are really interested in this person, I say approach him and try to get to know him. Most importantly, just be yourself. If it doesn't work out, at least you can say you tried and you'll know it's not based on some silly perception.

Btw, if this is not why you are asking this question, then I honestly don't know what type of girl this type of guy would be attracted to. I don't want to generalize, because everyone is different. Also totally disregard the first part lol.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

RULE OF THUMB

When in doubt, be as feminine as possible.

Tomboys tend to attract more feminine men, to balance out the testosterone dynamic. Tomboys WANT a guy who is extra extra masculine to "tame" them so to speak, but this rarely happens, because the more masculine a guy is, the more feminine a girl he wants (again = testosterone dynamic).

I wouldn't jump to the conclusion that "oh he doesn't talk to me, so he must be gay". Be feminine, nice, compassionate, open, warm, welcoming, and all those things that relax guys, and you'll probably get him to warm up to you. Tomboys come off as a threat/challenge...and even to guys who aren't intimidated, they don't find it attractive unless they like being a beta male and have someone to boss them around

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Maybe he doesn't like women at all. Or there are no women around that he's attracted to. You can tell who a guy likes based on who he looks at. Even if he doesn't blatantly check the girl out, he still will either look more than usual - or on the extreme opposite rarer end, you'll notice that he tries his best to not look at her, so he won't give his attraction away.

Kookiefrasier01 · Answer

I was surprised years after the fact that some women/people thought I was stuck up or something similar when in reality I was very shy. I was certainly masculine but very insecure around females. So I just avoided eye contact or flirting because I didn’t understand how it worked and worried about doing it wrong or being rejected. I’ve always been attracted to tomboys. I actually prefer less makeup and think a natural appearance is always more attractive. Something about women all done up always seemed to scream “trying too hard” and being fake Weak acting women (helpless acting) always turned me off. Smart capable women are always attractive to me. As far as body types, it might seem contradictory, but I always preferred physically the long lean type even smaller boned. Like any fool guy, breasts have always grabbed my attention, but it’s never been an overriding quality for me. Capable, intelligent, and physically strong women have always appealed to me. One thing which can be a real turn off is having a hostile attitude towards men. It seems to show a lack of confidence if a woman is too ready to be hostile as if she needed to constantly prove she’s “as good as any man”. Honestly, who needs more conflict in their life? Competitive isn’t the same as hostile. Being competitive can be fun. However, always beating another person at everything is just a negative quality no matter if you’re a woman or a man. That’s just the need to dominate and shows a underlying sense of insecurity and is never pleasant to experience. I don’t mean to say a beautiful dress on a woman isn’t attractive. In fact I’ve loved seeing woman trying on dresses and even buying them beautiful clothes, but the crazy “done up” look of the type girls dressing up and fixing up for prom or a woman “fixing” herself up can easily go over the top. I do realize that most of that is as much as for the other women as it is for the guys. I have a daughter that has a great fashion sense and wears and combines clothes with creativity and flair. I very much enjoy seeing that and even seek her advice on clothing choices. It’s got to be done with skill and can become unattractive if badly done. I repeat you can’t beat a woman dressed casually and entirely functional with natural looking hair and little or no make-up or looking like a tomboy and even a little sweaty and dirty. The essence of a woman comes through as beautiful and doesn’t need a lot of covering up.

Cromartie · Answer

I feel that due to the ambiguity of your question you can't acquire a decent result. There are many scenarios in which a person "emulates" this "cool" factor, which varies based on opinion anyway, but if one were to acknowledge just three archetypes of human personality and motive one would get the gist:

A: He is calm, quiet, focused, and determined not interested in anything but his goals and surrounds himself with those championing success. He is cordial to all people but so driven that this is where it ends. :: This is "Choice"

B: He is, by demeanor, calm, quiet, rational, and unwavering. He isn't particularly disinterested in women but his default prevents him from expressing anymore than he is capable which is what you describe as the "too-cool" guy. :: This is "Nature"

C: He is actually just not prone to panic or show signs of panic but really has problems with women altogether and is nervous in front of them. He never seeks them out for this reason meaning he actively avoids them. :: This is "Emotion"

There are many types so obviously the myriad of women they will or will not talk to depends on the archetype. A will talk to career driven people, B will likely talk to the patient person who chooses to get closer to him, and C will likely talk to someone who makes him feel comfortable and at ease etc.

theawesomeguy · Answer

Reminds me a bit of how I act sometimes (I don't suppose it's me your talking about is it? :P)

In my case, I don't think that I'm "too cool" to talk to women at all, I absolutely love talking to the fairer sex. Nowadays I do have female friends and I do approach women and initiate conversation, but back then I was more like how you describe above.

It wasn't really a case of women never grabbing my attention, a lot of the time I was a bit more reserved about actually approaching them: I was a bit shy and I had a tendency to picture myself as a creepy douche bag when talking to girls, I was afraid that she wouldn't be interested in anything, and I never wanted to make a fool of myself. But when a woman would approach me, none of the above mattered: obviously if she was approaching me I knew she was interested, so I could take it from there.

Regardless of anything, I'm always of the mindset that I don't need to be with a girl to have a good time when I go out.

I don't think there's any particular type this type of guy is attracted to, it could be anything. Personally I don't prefer straight up tomboys or complete girly-girls, a mixture of both is golden. I like a girl who knows how to look pretty, but can also kick my ass in Halo.

Baberocker6988 · Answer

Well I would have to say I like a girl who can be a girlie girl on the out side and still be easy to talk to but it's not that I don't have a type because I do I just don't like the girlie girls that are stuck up snobs who think their to good for everyone, I don't ever approach a girl I always let the women approach me because In the end at least I know she wants to talk and won't say no to at least having a good conversation, I'm a very easy going guy who takes things very easy and when it comes to girls I like to play it cool also because allot of girls now days don't like when a man walks up to them while their out to either ask them for their number or to try to have small talk so I find allot easier to let the women determine if she wants to talk or not in the end and I also find very attractive if a women approaches a man now days because a man was always the one that had to make the first move on everything and it sometimes feels good also for us men to feel wanted by women not always us having to be the ones who make the first move, plus us men won't reget a girl who walk up to us and is not our type will still have a conversation with that women but most women reject men even before they have a chance to walk over and begin a conversation by the time they start to talk women have already made their choices to make him feel out of place.

shyguy89 · Answer

in my opinion as being one of these guys in college and still am even though I have a girlfriend a lot of girls find ways to distract me is what I call it.lol some say there lost and need help to this class etc...i love how women do this but that style is out of date. women who hold knowledge or look knowledgeable(aka older women ,cougars etc..) are the ones that get my attention no matter her appearance I wouldn't mind chatting about a book or a show but anything you say and do has to be your opinion that's how us guys get hooked.

patoot10 · Answer

this is what I do.. actually like you said that type of guy is not an a**hole he is down-to-earth .. and if you approached him you will find him friendly .. that's how I act .. the reason I act this way is not cause am gay or something .. its cause I think that chances of me approaching a girl who would turn out to be something in my life are very slim .. call me crazy .. lazy or even gay but that's the truth .. on the other hand if someone approached me I act friendly for 2 reasons: 1- I appreciate the effort  because no one likes to approach someone and get rejected or treated in a bad way .. 2- maybe its my destiny to be approached by someone who will turn out to be something in my life .. my point is its a life-style or an equation .. that aims to save you a lot of energy .. time .. money .. rather than approaching girls and end up with nothing expect for an awkward date or worse .. a short period relationship !

Dragonblood21 · Answer

There are a few things on there that describe myself. I don't find myself too cool to talk to women, and I don't think I wear a "not giving a f***" look on my face... do I?

Anyway I'm attracted to both, or as I like to say, a girlie girl on the outside, and a tom boy on the inside. Acting a little boy-ish can be a turn on, now dressing like one is far from attractive. Dressing like a girl, and making yourself look nice, is often really attractive. Acting like if you mess up your hair or nails is the worst thing that could happen isn't attractive. A mix of both is nice.

Scoopie · Answer

It could be anything, maybe he's even into guys. It's impossible for me to tell and unreasonable to guess. It could also be he doesn't have one type.

Take me as an example. I don't really show when I actually like a girl, and I don't have one actual type. Throughout the years I have liked different kind of girls, ranging from tomboy to a girlie girl. Even a cool all-in-black-dressed girl. It all depends on the actual girl. That's why a couple of times I completely surprised myself by liking a girl I never expected I would like. As long as she's nice and decent, and some other I can't put into words (more subconscious stuff), I can like two completely different girlfs.

So no real type for me, perhaps that's also the case for your guy.

kheserthorpe · Answer

I don't think there's anything in this guy's demeanor that would suggest a specific 'type'.

I'd guess low-drama women, but they can be both tom boys and girlie girls.

This guy is either shy, or he's just not that motivated to go after women, because women don't grab his attention, period.

Anonymous · Answer

I could be that guy. I'm introverted so I don't usually talk to people I don't know well unless spoken first. I'm friendly and nice to people, it's not like I don't like people, I just don't feel like talking a lot. So I have only a few friends, male, and mostly either very extroverted or very introverted. Other people either don't understand me or doesn't have the character required to socialize with someone like me.

As for what can be the type for someone like me, I fear it all depends on the individual. I don't like girlie girls and I'd rather chose a tomboy, but some friends, introverted like me, are quite the opposite. Personally, I can't bear "princesses" but also I don't like "truck drivers". I'd rather get with someone in between.

humanbeing · Answer

some try to show off that they are cool and don't need to look at women. they think they are good looking and know women are going to look at them. they want the women to approach them rather than him approaching u. but still their mind and eyes are always checking if girls are looking at them. there are others who are really calm and good looking but who doesn't want to run after girls. one girlfriend at a time is enough for them. the other ones are family oriented who are shy, even if they like a girl, they are not going to tell anyone.

i personally get attracted to tom boy types.

Anonymous · Answer

He sounds like me.

Most women are just bitches. Add to that the fact that men are expected to pursue women, to ask the girl out, to plan the date, to pay for the date, to make the first move etc. It's just not worth the effort. I'd rather do my own stuff and hang out with my guy friends. If a girl approaches me I'll be friendly, and I won't refuse a relationship with a good girl, I just won't actively pursue one either. It seems that there are more and more guys who would agree - I think someone already mentioned "Japanese Herbivores" and "MGTOW", Google it.

As for my type, I like girlie girls. There aren't many actual girlie girls though.

stubbsy · Answer

confident girls and girls who make it obvious that they are approachable, girls who are un-judgemental and ones who refuse to think they are above others. A girl who treats people how she would like to be treated would get this type of guys attention,x

Jordahn · Answer

He's attracted to women who go online and post questions, trying to figure him out.

acka72 · Answer

A chick equally unfazed by his nonchalance.  She ignores him and makes friends with his friends, until his friends talk about how awesome and cool you are and it will get him interested jealous or both.  You don't suck up to him while other girls suck up to him and then the killer, "I'd just like to be friends with you."  Then I can bet you a hundred bucks he will not be as cool when around you.

523206720 · Answer

If he's passive, he will want somebody who is very smart and good looking

If he is aggressive, he will want somebody less attractive than him.

If he is conservative he will want somebody that is innocent

If he is liberal he will want somebody that is conservative

If he talks a lot he will want somebody very good looking

If he is quiet he will want somebody with that's sensitive

Jonny_ · Answer

I don't think guys are attracted to just one type of girl... I'm attracted to all types, I don't go by their style or hair color nor attitude. If they're attractive they're just attractive regardless of most other things. Most guys I know like a big range of girls, if they don't seem interested in girls they're either genuinely not interested in dating or their putting on an act.

thomasmore · Answer

if he is more or less like me, he would probably be able to describe what is not his type but not what is his type.

the good thing... if you talk to him and he doesn't find you attractive, I'm sure you will notice.

short answers and no intention to keep up the conversation are a typical sign.

martyfellow · Answer

Most likely gay, in the first place.   If not, he's probably really religious and sticks to women from whatever church he belongs to.   That's why he doesn't chat up random girls--they aren't in his church.

courtney06 · Answer

I actually know someone who really believes he is too cool to talk to women. He even told me that when girls smile at him he purposefully keeps a straight face to hurt their ego. Weirdo. I do like this post though because I wondered the same thing.

What is this type of guy attracted to? Tomboys, girlie girls?

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