Why do some guys feel the need to talk to loads of different girls?

[Anonymous]

I was talking to this guy, and he kept promising me that he wasn't talking to any other girls like he was me. I found out that he was lying, he started messaging one of my friends. It hurt a little, but I just want to know the thinking behind this.. I tried asking him but got nothing in return.

Updates

+1 y

Just to clarify, I don't /didn't have an issue with him being friends with females. I just don't like the fact that he kept telling me I was the only one but it turns out that there are loads of other girls. I've seen screen shots and he also admitted it. I'm not angry about it, just want to understand.

[SadLittleOctopus]

This one I can answer well.

I don't feel a need to do this, but I like testing the waters before I jump in. I'm not the kind of guy that will cheat, and I don't think it's cool to have a crush while your in a relationship, but whenever I'm single, I like to chat around, let all the girls know I'm a guy they can trust and at least build up a bit of a friendship with.

This works because whenever you get out of a relationship, if they're into you, they will give you time to cool off, and if your not cooling off, they'll be a friend.

The last thing a guy wants is to get out of a relationship and feel alone, you'd want that one close friend of the other gender that you both know could never be in a relationship because you know everything about eachother, you can rush to them whenever you need and vent and all that and they can do the same.

This kind of drifted but, thats kind of the jist of why I like talking to so many women, not to brag or anything, but to just have a friend or potentially another Special Someone.

[Asker]

See this makes sense, if this is why he was talking to so many girls then I really wouldn't care if anything I would fine it sweet. Thank you!

[ImBigGeorge]

Im single at the moment and I found it easier to be honest from the start to tell the female that I am talking to other females, just as friend or sexual partners.. Some are okay with both and some are not. For me, at least, I've gotten a thanks and for not wasting there time.. Just be straight and honest with your interest..

[Asker]

Exactly! All I ask for is honesty. It really wouldn't have bothered me if he was honest.

[ImBigGeorge]

Yeah but not everyone can see things that way...

[Asker]

True

[JubJub_Hi]

Yes I have spend a lot of time thinking about this also!

[Wolframium]

Thikn of why would you do it yourself.
Maybe ask someone.
Don't think that men and women have different reasons.

Your nick… Like…what? :-D

[Babygirl_S]

Boosts his self-esteem

[Atryn]

For me I just find it easier to talk to women and would much rather hang out with them than other guys. It's nothing sexual or not because I find them attractive it's just easier for me.

[Asker]

Fair enough, this makes a lot of sense :)

[jennifer_bloom]

I will tell you a trick - be different from the other girls and force him to take things very very slow - he will be afraid to give you up when he thinks about how hard he had to work to get his point with you.

[motownplayer2000]

Because if we didn't say we fully commit, then anyone is fair game. Women do that too. When I was dating my ex, she told me she had been talking to 3 guys on the side while we were in the "dating" stage. That's just the way it is. If you like him, go after what you want, don't complain about it

[Anonymous]

Because it's impractical to only talk to one. It takes too long and has too low a success rate.
Women don't do any work in this regard, so since men have to be the active one, they have to take opportunities as they come and always be trying to create opportunities. Waiting weeks or months to figure things out with one means many missed opportunities with others and just generally wastes a lot of time.

[imjustadude]

Men are like bees... They go from flower to flower.

[MannMitAntworten]

People shop around. By people I both men and women do this usually until they decide on someone - usually.

[Anonymous]

It’s not illegal to talk to other girls and just cause he is talking to other girls doesn’t mean he likes them. Guys don’t owe you their soul when taking to you. You women need to remove that entitled toxic mindset

[Asker]

I don't give a crap that he's talking to other girls, and I know it doesn't always means he likes them. I don't expect guys not to be friends with girls that's just idiotic. But I've seen screen shots and he also admitted it. Further more I don't have an entitled toxic modest.

[Asker]

*mindset

[Opinion Owner]

He is keeping his options open. Let’s say you dont like him That’s fine but now he has other girls. If he stopped talking to them and you also stop talking to him then he has nothing and would have to start all over. You are a woman and wouldn’t understand, guys don’t have hundreds of suitors waiting for them at the snap of their finger guys have to be at the top of their game to get a handful so you have to always always keep options open. Now let’s say things would have progressed with you two then he would stop talking to the other chicks but he would have been foolish to stop talking to all those other girls while talking to you

[Asker]

I understand the whole keeping his options open, I just wish he had just told me. That's what hurt, there was no need to not tell me, I wouldn't have stopped talking to him. Never mind, I wish I had hundreds of suitors 😂

[Opinion Owner]

No he did what he needed to to if he would have told you the truth you would have been turned off, the part he messed up on with opening his damn Mouth and telling you and getting caught

[Asker]

OK then... Clearly you and honesty don't go hand in hand..

[Opinion Owner]

It’s just how it works lady I didn’t make the game I’m just a player don’t act like you women don’t do it to and you women are better at because guys are so desperate y’all lapping men

[Asker]

Dude I've been hurt way to many times to be playing games. That shits just boring. Sure other women do it but not all.

[Opinion Owner]

K... and not all men play but you will act like they do so why shouldn’t men assume women do that’s just how it works

[Asker]

How have I acted like all men play games?

[Opinion Owner]

I meant you as in women in general and probably you as in you as well

[Asker]

No I haven't, I don't judge a whole gender based upon a few peoples actions. Anyways this conversation is not helping. Thank you for clearing up the idea he wanted to keep his options open.

[Opinion Owner]

Liar liar plants for hire and U betcha later

[Asker]

Very grown up 😂👌

[curiousgeorgia15]

All she said was that she wanted to know why he lied to her. I get a lot of men want to keep their options open, but if they have to lie to a woman so they won’t be turned off, chances are they know what they’re doing is wrong. It’s not us women having toxic mindsets, it’s us being careful so we don’t get our hearts broken.

[Asker]

@curiousgeorgia15 thank you!!

[curiousgeorgia15]

No problem ❣️

[Anonymous]

Its like that when you date a popular guy.
Every girl wants to crash on her.
And the fact is funny guys, handsome guys gets all the girls.
Or the rich one , rich guys are heavily popular.

[chris_987]

Because we get congratulated for sleeping with lots of girls

[Anonymous]

Because they think they are maximizing their chances.

[Anonymous]

They're just outgoing people, guy or girl

Some people are just like that

[Opinion Owner]

Only one what?

[TheFlak38]

of course it is only a problem when a guy talks with loads of girls.
When you as a WOMAN explore your thousands of options and whore yourself out then thats no problem at all.

[Asker]

The only reason I spoke about males is because that's what applied to my situation. I don't have THOUSANDS of options, and I have NEVER! WHORE myself around. I'm sorry if my question offended you but there is no need to be using words like that!

[TheFlak38]

playing the NAWALT card once again. As expected.

[Asker]

What on earth is the NAWALT card?

[Yessir12]

They’re players. Find decent guys.

[adolescentswede]

He maybe gets better treatment when he lies

[es20490446e]

Cause he's an insecure beach.

[Wolframium]

You could ask the same with sexes reversed.

[Asker]

Very true,

[bobbistar]

Coz of loneliness