Why do certain guys take rejection so personal?

[Erica34]

So, I met this guy online/Facebook- dating application that they have now with Facebook. This was about a month ago, on the 1st. I'm guess him and I both liked one another so we was matched. And, since then him and I have been talking. But I do recall when he asked about seeing me, I'm like we just met, now your want to link up and met. So I came clear and had my confidence face on told him No. I said, maybe after when this Coronavirus, if over then maybe. So he left it alone and moved on, but then the day before yesterday. He asked again, and I question him and ask him what was his attention and why does he keep pressing with wanting to link up. I said, what is your intentions. So I gave him options as far as do you really want to meet me to really chill, or B to have sex. And he got back to me later on that day, and said both if it was Ok. Smh. Then today we are talkin I just a few minutes ago I came out and told him that I'm not interested in have any physical relationship with him. And lied to him about me being into females lol. So, he message me back, and said. (That's great though, because I'm also into girls so maybe me and you could have some fun sharing.) And I am a Cancer so we have a gift of picking up on energies quick. And from what I felt, when I told him the 1st time. He tried to turn it around and used the girl, in the mixed after I told him No and how I was into girl's. I feel like he took a personal maybe I'm overlooking the situation. But why can't he just take a hike and get the message, I'm not trying to have sex with him nor any strays nor any random people. I have class about myself. And I am getting older in age for fwbs. I had one for about 5 years on and off. But I have gone a year with out sex, so I'm good. But any thoughts or opinions with this situation?

[MrOracle]

A lot of people take rejection very personally, but let's stick to guys.

Some guys have lots of confidence and they hit on girls all the time, and get rejected all the time, and it doesn't bother them at all - they know that rejection is part of the game. But other guys don't have much confidence - especially with women - and it's really hard for them to take the risk and ask a girl out in the first place. Many times, it has taken them months - sometimes even years - to ask out a girl that they like. And because they've taken so long, and invested so much emotionally into her (because they've been THINKING about asking her out for a long time, and what might happen if she said "yes", etc.), it's a huge blow if she says "no."

But in this case, I think it's the third common situation: this guy was really just looking to get laid, and was hoping he'd found someone with similar interests, and when he got rejected, he took that personally because sexual rejection is a big blow to most men's ego, since so much of the male ego is tied to our sexual prowess. Plus, you lied to him, in a pretty obvious way, about being a lesbian, and he wasn't buying it, and so he pushed back. Anyway, bad behavior on his part, but also not the best on your part.

When you are dealing with any guy, you should ALWAYS assume their interest in you is SEXUAL until proven otherwise. And that means you need to make it crystal clear that you aren't looking for anything sexual from the start (in which case, I wonder why you're on a dating site at all, given that sex is going to be an assumed part of any romantic relationship?), so that guys know this up-front.

[Erica34]

He is 31 years old. It's like, even when I told him that I was I was into girl's (lied) he was still down to bone. Smh. Like, that's weird af.

[Erica34]

But. He also said that he wanted to meet me to, he said if he could have both that'll be awesome

[Erica34]

He may have been a good guy. But, I ended up blocking him. I made it clear to him I'm not looking for any sexual relationship online.

[MrOracle]

I get it, and he was NOT behaving well. Just make your intentions clear from the start and you'll have fewer (but not necessarily zero) problems.

[Erica34]

Thank You!! And I will. 😇😇😇

[Liam_Hayden]

Some people, men and women, take rejection completely personally. Not sure why. I certainly do not want to waste my time with a woman who is not into me, so I am thankful when she is straight up about it.

[Erica34]

Facts. Thank YOU that's what I'm saying. Like fuck off. I'm just not interested in any more friends with benefits. I haven't had sex in a year, but I am okay 4 now. 😊😊😊. That's disgusting that some of these guys and girls go online just to have sex with random people they don't know.

[jgibsonian1986]

For me my Adhd type nerveous system makes life much more intense and emotional than it is for others. Relationships are no different

[RLovesD7792forever]

why do you care what this guy says if you don't like him just block him. the fact that you're on here whining about this means you do like him

[Erica34]

Why do you have your penny so far up your axx lol. And I been blocked him. And liking him, nawl

[RLovesD7792forever]

Then why are you on here whining about it if you don't like him and blocked him?

[Erica34]

It's now 12:56a. m lol that question was asked yesterday. I blocked him, and kept it move on to something. And, also why are you so Damn bothered by my question, are you the guy that was acting like a desperate horndog. And FYL, I an NOT whining, I was only asking. You must be smoking on some crazy ish RN. And also if you don't have anything nice to say on my page or my question then I asked YESTERDAY!! then please leave or block yourself. Everyone else gave me their opinion then kept it moving. Soooo

[RLovesD7792forever]

First it's FYI NOT FYL second it's am not an third it's And also, not And also forth it's not "on my page or my question then I asked YESTERDAY" it's on my page or my question that I asked YESTERDAY. Now that we got that cleared up and out of the way, my initial response still stands you are on here whining about some guy you blocked which means you do like him otherwise, you wouldn't be on here complaining about it. And also, it doesn't matter how long ago the post was made, you simply asked for an opinion to which I gave you one. The problem you have is you didn't like my opinion which means it holds validity to some extent, whether it be a small or a large extent. Hence why you're angry right now.