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I can look at a guy and think “I want to date him”
That's because, as a woman, relationships are your highest priority. Men have different priorities. Men look at women and say "I want to have sex with her" because that reflects men's highest priority. But it also reflect the fact that men have a much lower bar for who they want to bang vs. who they want to be in a relationship with.
For most men, if he finds the girl sufficiently physically attractive, and she's willing, that's enough - for SEX. But dating someone and being in a relationship with them is a much bigger commitment, and you're going to spend a lot of time together outside the bedroom, so her personality and attitude and morals & values all matter a ton more than if you're just having casual sex with her twice a week. THAT is why guys want to get to know a girl a bit before they decide if they want to date her or not.
The guy may already know he has some feelings developing, but feelings alone aren't enough to sustain a relationship - compatibility is also important, so he's going to want to spend some quality time with her and get to know more about her before he commits himself to the next level.
And just as girls are on the lookout for guys who just want to use them for sex, guys are on the lookout for girls who just want to use him for meals, entertainment, attention, or favors. I don't blame men or women for being cautious, because there are selfish, entitled people on both sides who think nothing of using the opposite sex.
I break relationships up into dating, BF/GF, fiancee and marriage phases. Dating is the phase to get to know someone. This is the time to have fun and get to know a little about them, but nothing deep. You just feel each other out to see if you are compatible enough to risk moving on. What I consider the BF/GF phase is probably what most people mean by dating. This is where I get to know her extensively. During this time we might stay at each other's places, but do not move in together. However, if we are in this phase long enough, this is where we could even go as far as helping each other financially if needed, but nothing terribly serious. For example, if she has maybe a $1200 loan she wants off her hair to start saving, or maybe I do, we can lend a little assistance here and there but no expectations of this happening. BF/GF phase is where you really get to know someone's morals and money stances. This is also the time to meet the parents By the time I am ready to propose (which enters fiancee phase) I probably know everything important about her and view her as "the one". I know her very well and I am more focused on gaining the trust and approval of her family. This is the soonest I would consider moving in with her or her with me. I am saving sex until marriage, but this is the phase I MIGHT make that exception. Then marriage is obviously self-explanatory.
I'm not a guy, but I'm this way with guys. I'm currently on an indefinite hiatus from dating, but if I were to get back into it, I'd need to really get to know the guy first. I have no way of knowing if I'll be attracted to him without getting to know him, since I've only ever developed attraction after getting to know the guy.
I second what @raxx007 said below. I'm dating a guy now. Everything is going great, but we are getting to know each other well before we put a label on it. The dating phase is for getting to know someone, but some people may want to know someone very well before they call it a "relationship".
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I have to have that feeling but a single conversation can do it with sufficiently open types. I've had some very open women say to me on the first conversation that they feel like they've known me a lifetime, and the feeling is mutual on my part. That suffices for me to steer the conversation towards an invitation for a date.
And sometimes without so many words exchanged, I've danced with women and the few words we exchanged, and how we danced together, made it feel like we knew each other much longer than we did -- we were comfortable with each other and there was this feeling of mutual trust and comfort. That sufficed.
It's based more for me on the depth of the "communication" -- verbally, physically, a combination -- than the number of conversations.
I am a bit different from that type of guy who looks at a girl from afar and directly makes a beeline approach to her with the intent of dating her. I have no such intent and generally don't beeline this way. I talked to people around me at social events, guys and girls, young and old, and it was only when I was in a great conversation with a girl I found attractive, and we were clicking, that it even crossed my mind to ask her on a date.
I don't think I'm the type that could ever do online dating. Well, I never tried. But I need more info than some text and photos can communicate for me to be that interested in a woman. Well, I've found a few exceptions here and there -- like if she has the fastest and wittiest sense of humor, or just seems so exceptionally fun. But she has to be communicating something truly exceptional that I don't find every day to have any remote degree of real interest in dating. I don't date to get to know women. I date women to see if what I think I know about them is actually how they are.
Probably not. My criterias are intuitive to me and because I believe in them it's a turn off if she is otherwise so the process is relatively quick and I don't have to see her 3 months before realising that. But it depends really, sometimes if we are in an environment where her interests are fairly clear to see, you don't have to know everything about her but if that is not the case I can see the process taking some time. It's weird I think I search for people with qualities similar to mine or interests in things so we can talk about it too.
Dating is getting to know the girl. I do however try to know something about the girl before I ask her out, but she ask me out and I am available and I find her attractive I just say yes and take it from there. So not a requirement just give you an idea if it can work out.
It often leads to disappoint when you base who you date on appearances alone. After all, women in general are more attracted to a mans demeanor, rather than his appearance. Appearance is, and should be just the icing on the cake because appearances fade.
I think it is a male "Logical" trait maybe their intuition says I want to date her but his brain goes I want to make sure it works. I want it to be perfect, for her to be the one.
I can understand the thinking behind of I will only go there if it has a high degree of success. It is probably a male/female thing like the voice in a man's head is going you wouldn't buy a house or a car without a thorough check first.
Yes I think it's instinctual and primal on a level most people do not even recognize it.. like in pheramones.. sure it's safer if we could get to know a lady before screwing up our courage and asking out.. but that's not the old college try I am used to.. nothing ventured nothing gained and besides who's got time for screening like that on enmass? Where's the thrill of the hu t? They'll never taste victory in success like they could've had.. lots of wasted oppurtunity in my opinion
When I was younger, now I can read personality traits fast, generally know what to target if I spot red flags, and verify accuracy quickly, specially watch how she treats those who have nothing to offer, or how much focus she puts to her wants, needs, and frustrated if she doesn't get her way, versus empathetic, thinks about others, etc.
Date is getting to know the person. I think now days date you all think is like girlfriend and boyfriend. A date is like a hang out buddy to visit places, spend time talking, go out random restaurants or even go shopping. Just be normal you, just don't expect right of way an answer to be girlfriend or boyfriend. Let time flow. When you rush things may not turn so right between y'all.
if you're talking about just sleeping with them you know bending you over and fucking you then yes that's on tuition for a guy but if you're talking about dating you which means bringing you home to meet my mom to meet my sister to be my girl like morning only then yes no fucking way are you meeting my mom unless I know you're 100% not fucking crazy it comes to just fucking getting late I don't give a fuk it your wackadoodle batshit long as you're fucking hot
At first it's more of a "Would I have sex with her" type of thing. If yes, then I might try to get to know her. If I don't like her then I won't ask her out. In my opinion, asking someone out is what you do when considering making that person your boyfriend/girlfriend. A lot of people say dating is for getting to know the person, but I think that part is done before dating and you want to date to get some one on one time insetad of talking at whatever place you always see each other.
Ya pretty much. I have a difficult time rationalizing wanting to date a girl who I don't know. Like, what if she turns out to be crazy or boring or completely incompatible with me? Then I would've wasted my time on her and would have the unpleasant experience of breaking up with her. Best to do your research before you ask her out. That way, you know what you're getting into.
I like to getting to know someone somewhat before dating them. I think a lot of people are quick to go into dating/dates without knowing if there's a vibe.
There's also the fact that nowadays a lot of people are hesitant to date if they don't see themselves with someone long term or they don't want a number of exes/past loves.
Yes and no.
I want to know SOMETHING about her that will make me interested. A hobby or interest is a good one.
I don't need to know their life story. Most of the time, I'm looking for red flags and reasons NOT to date someone.
I answered yes but it's both like I don't consider it dating till around the fourth date... After that I either know and like her character and want to be exclusive or I don't like her character and tell her. I hope that makes since
Sense.
It helps but the thing is like Van Wilder said "1st dates are interviews" which is correct. you can meet a girl, get her number and after a bit of texting ask her out. So I mean, you don't know her at all but you're now "dating".
Whereas in other situations you'd maybe be friends first.
Just depends
No, the process of getting to know her will take quite some time, and by that point she'd no doubt have met someone else, so you need to make a decision based on what information you can gather and analyze.
I've come to learn the hard way from two experiences now that yes, you have to take the time to get to know someone deeply before committing to anything. There's never any wisdom in rushing into a relationship.
you get to know the person extensively BY dating the person. there's no harm in trying. you never know, you may have just met the love of your life. lol.
I think a coffee shop meeting can happen same day in a coffee shop as a first date. Dating to me is not a big deal now the word relationship, that is a big deal
Better to get to know them BEFORE you date them, then date a mistake and now you have baggage and so do they. Everybody deserves respect. I don't believe in dating strangers.
It really depends on the person.
I have met girls that I liked physically and mentally, and wanted to date right away.
What do you look for in a guy who you might want to be with?
The purpose of dating someone is to get to know them extensively.
Not extensively. I don't want to write a book on every girl I met. It's like if you like someone. Ask her out during some free time. If you enjoy being together then you could get close or may be life partner
When you talk to these people. Define dating. If they come out for coffee because they want to get to know you, tell them it's a date. It's literally called a coffee date. 😂
No, because the purpose of dating (for me) is to get to know the woman.
I treated dating as a series of auditions to find someone for the role of wife.
Truth be told we get to know them on a date. That’s what dating is. Then if it’s all good and it’s mutual then on to an exclusive relationship.
I need to know her extensively if I want to know if I’d want her to be my girlfriend. I date her to find out.
I agree that initial attraction is intuition but by definition you can't be sure you're correct. This is when you date someone to discover if your gut feeling was correct. I have a great intuition which has got me out of many situations.
No. I can ‘usually’ tell right away. My last girlfriend, the moment I first saw her I know I had to get to know her. We became involved pretty much from the first moment.
We are at our most vulnerable state when dating. ( Discussion for another time 😂)
Getting to know someone helps us understand the risk we're willing and not willing to take.
No u don't I too believe in love at first sight and so does big Ray Ray over here
Its always best to get to know the other person first. You will be getting to know them eventually. Yes it is instinct to know you want to date, but you have to get to know the person to see if you are compat9
Yes.. Friends first before making any commitments like that.
If you was a 10/10 I suppose they would date you without thinking about that.
Well, yes?
To like someone, I have to know a lot of things about them.
No, if I am sexually attracted to her then I can start to think about dating her
I see dating as showing interest in someone and wanting to get to know them on a personal level. I would want to know about a girl first thus dating her.
There’s only so much you can learn with friendship, but the things you can learn include some of the most important things in the world if you’re looking for an actual relationship.
Im not asking for social security numbers or anything but if a girl has some major trauma/baggage that she waits 2 months to tell me about imma have every right to be insulted
To fuck her, we don't need to know her. If we plan on sticking around we need to make sure you ain't nuts.
They lie.
I make up my mind in half a second. Actually, half a second is a long time. A fraction of that.
The reason I make that reasoning is because I don’t want to just come across as trying to get into her pants. I want to let her know that I am not that type of person.
Yeah gotta know the person quiet well personally. Your relationships are gonna suffer I found from just rushing into dating.
You learn quick that rushing in ends in heart break
Yes, I'd like to get to know the guy and make sure we can get along well as friends first for a few months before we date.
Know few basic things much helpful always...
But to have interest first look and good in conversation okay enough for me...
Because dating is for getting to know each other. You like each other you date, you date you get to know each other then you decide if you want to get in a relationship.
For me that's what the early stage of dating is for. To get to know the girl.
No, not extensively, but generally yes. The whole point OF dating is to get to know them !
yeah because the bitch could be batshit crazy and you would never know about it until months or years later after you've already dated or while you're dating
that's why it's important to get to know her first. remember never stick your dick in crazy. it's a general rule us guys have
If she's cute, you can think about dating her. But actually dating her doesn't really work until you kind of know her
I’m pretty good at being able to tell if I like a girl based on her attitude, personality etc, within like a week. Doesn’t take that long to tell if somebody is toxic.
It would not hurt to get to know a woman like that though.
Perhaps both , but not extensively at first ( thats why we date; to get to know each other)!
Dating is the vessel to get to know someone extensively.
No, to me that is backwards. Dating is for getting to know her.
I don't know if you mean you want to work towards a relationship with them but dating is just getting to know each other. That’s what dating is.
@Anonymous Dating a girl without knowing her extensively is a recipe for catastrophic heartbreak.
don't you think
that way she would probably become a friend
There’s no real rule about this. I’d say each relationship occurs naturally.
I like to talk with stranger. because i want know about lots of things about persons. their activity, culture, hobby and share my opinion too.
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