My fuckbuddy keeps flaking - what can I do to change it?

[Anonymous]

He keeps canceling last minute - even when he was the one booty calling me himself?
Fair enough that he's not in the mood, tires etc. but it's a waste of my time getting ready, and he KNOWS that.

I want to set up boudaries, but when I do, he finds loop holes and flakes anyway.
It definitely works when I try and ignore him and say no to him after he has flaked on me, and he kind of starts chasing me a bit again, but I want the sex lol

I know I should just quit it, but he's really hot and I'm comfortable with him, and I'm too picky to find a new one (yes I have looked for ages)..
How can I make him change his behaviour?

[Anonymous]

I’ll say this, and I mean it in the most respectful way, but you can’t be so desperate for sex in general that you’re willing to put your morals and standards on the back burner. I’ve been there, having a guy where the sex is incredible, and I was comfortable with him as well. But after a while, I got tired of the disrespect. This guy you’re dealing with truly treats you like a fuckbuddy, and in his mind, you want the D so bad that he can do anything. You already keep letting him bail and disappoint you, where’s the incentive to act different when you show him it’s ok? Like I said, I mean all this in the kindest way, but you have to understand that he is showing you who he is as a person, and at some point, you have to acknowledge that he won’t change, and either accept the treatment bc the D is so good, or put your foot down and say enough is enough. Settle for a good sex toy and wait for a guy that will at least respect you and your time.

[Asker]

So true... He will probably try and hit me up again tomorrow, can I just be like "Dude..."
Or should I straight off say I'm done?

[Opinion Owner]

I would honestly be done. And who knows, maybe that action in itself and him seeing that you’re really over it will make him straighten up. Regardless, you should never allow anyone to treat you any less that you deserve💛

[Asker]

Thank you that's so true!

[Opinion Owner]

No worries love, good luck!

[diablo200]

He knows that you want him badly that's why he's doing this. Show him that you can leave him for someone better than him or you have more options.
Then he'll behave 😁

[Asker]

That's so true, unfortunately lol..
But yeah that would work - especially because he IS the jealous type - do you have any ideas to how I can make him think that I have more obtions / I'm potentially seeing other guys?

[diablo200]

For starters you can cancel one of two plans or at least don't show so much excitement.
While talking to him mention some other guy's name oftenly.
Give him late replies (I'm not so much sure about it ).

[Asker]

Yeah I think I'll try and cancel on him last minute next time :')))
But how should I act when he probably tries to hit me up again tomorrow? Should I reject him and how?

[Anonymous]

How about finding someone you plan on spending your life with rather than even having a fuckbuddy.

[Asker]

I'm looking, but I can't really go out to bars and clubs because of corona :(
I don't really meet guys anywhere else on the daily - only tinder, but they're all fuckboys, and this one was the best I could find haha

[Opinion Owner]

Best relationships are born from friendships.
I've never used tinder, or went to a club or a bar to meet someone, nor had a "first date", i just end up being in a relationship with someone i was already hanging out with.

Benefits:
I know all about her, her previous relationship, her way of thinking, her problems, her goals, how would she react in which situation, her habbits etc.
I know what she needs, i know how to make her happy, i can't be played, nor have to be jealous...

[Asker]

That's so true, however I have no guy friends and I have a full time job at an office where I only meet people who are ages 35+ and married.. So I can't really make friends randomly. Also people in my country are veery private, and it's extreme weird to start chatting to someone randomly in public

[Opinion Owner]

Rip.

[Asker]

For real lol!

[spartan55]

You won't, so enjoy your little arrangement.

[Karin_Anna]

Cut your losses

[Asker]

He'll probably try and hit me up later today, do you have any tips on what I could text him back, to reject him?

[Karin_Anna]

Simply say

"I am not interested!"

You need to be able to cut him off completely, if you do not, he knows he had a way back.

Delete his number, block him on all platforms