How do I regain my self esteem after going back to a fuckboy?

Anonymous
I like this guy. He never took me on a date. We only would have sex together. I told him that I liked him and was interested in a relationship. He laughed at the idea. Whenever I would be nice he would be really mean toward me. Then he lied and said he had a girlfriend so I left him alone and moved on. I started dating someone else and we wound up dating. Next thing I know, he is emailing me. Then begging me to meet with him in public. Then he saw me at a party and I looked really pretty. A lot of guys were trying to talk to me and he was basically blocking them talking about "I'm sorry". For nearly a year he would email me. The last message was him asking to be my friend. I ignored it for nearly 2 years until this summer.

I decided to reach out to him to be friends. I hate just having bad energy with people. I have never experienced being treated this way when I was in high school. If me and guy realized we didn't like each other we were still friends or hung out in the same circle and let it go. But this guy... he constantly asked questions like "how was the sex" or "I'm going to visit you" or "how's the boyfriend" or "i don't care about your boyfriend". Things got to the point where I would just block him and he would email me and say sorry. One day he said "I miss you". A few days later he said it back and his response was "STFU".

It seems like he didn't become interested in me until I started med school for my money one day. I don't know... I feel so embarrassed because I feel manipulated emotionally. And I told him that I like him and I want to see him. How do I regain my self-esteem and never speak to him again? I feel like lost all of my power. I feel so small.

I love my boyfriend but this is the second guy I have ever had sex with so I am really emotionally attached. Please don't be too hard on me
How do I regain my self esteem after going back to a fuckboy?
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