In fact my question is of a psychological nature. Lately I had many fights with my ex. My ex-husband! We divorced three months ago so our wounds are fresh, because I guess we are still in love with eachother. Ironically, I know.. Anyway recently we got in a big fight because of something I did. We both were very angry and frustrated. He raised his voice and I slapped him once. He raised his hand to slap me back but instead he pushed me and tried to walk away. I put myself in front of him and tried to slap him again. Next I was watching him unbuckling his belt followed by a loud snap as he pulled it off. That noise made me froze. I couldn't talk, I couldn't move. I was just shocked. He put me over his knee and he started to hit me really hard with that thing. Never laid a hand on me before, so I was trying to talk him out of doing that to me. It hurt and I cried. Hell, I begged him to stop it and well that was not a succesful request. Eventually he stopped and I realised I was so turned on. When I turned around to face him I saw tears in his eyes. Immediately I kissed him and that was the beginning of the best sex we had in years. I feel miserable and I feel like my mind is so sick for doing that. Am I bipolar? Do I need therapy..
having been in this situation before, it would depend on the type of attack someone does, personally i was trained in martial arts and taught that regardless of gender, defending ones self does not have to constitute as beating someone senseless... and therefore a simple defensive hold can actually be all that's needed, other cases which are more severe for example a woman attacks using a knife... may need a more forceful approach... and yep experienced that before from one of my exes...
my last ex was a very aggressive woman, who dealt with her anger issues by lashing out... i taught her some martial arts in order to help her have some level of self control and explained that due to what she is being taught she has the potential to actually seriously harm people so in cases whereby she is venting and lashing out she would need to employ more care and attention and self control on those matters, and also anyone who attacks her, well... in my opinion while you still need to be careful on what you do do, you can go all out and make them regret attacking you...
but she wasn't bi-polar, just had a lot of pent up aggression, and didn't know how to express it... the training helped her control that and her behaviour and how she dealt with her anger greatly improved...
but me personally I would have already assessed the situation going on attempted to deescalate, if she attempted to attack i would attempt a counter hold and subdue, if armed and there were others around who could get hurt by her attacks (eg Kids), sorry but she would be dealt with effectively and quickly as possible as my concerns would be not just my safety (not bothered usually about that tbf) but the safety of those around who could get hurt, and the woman's safety (if i know them if not i have no issues as long as they attack first) some might see this as some guy being abusive, where as it isn't the case... cos what's to say if she continues she doesn't cause harm that could be fatal... to either myself or anyone around... or say she did end up killing that would mean she would have the rest of her life ruined cos someone didn't stand up and act... as for if she's a stranger... you dont know what that woman is capable of, whether they are armed, or the damage they can cause, and i've known a fair amount of women who have done far more damage than most guys could do, and most are cos they were not defended against...
therapy may not work, but it isn't a bad idea to attempt it incase it does work... anger management or a routine whereby you can vent that built up anger and aggression against something that isn't going to get hurt, martial arts is a good choice too... as it will redirect your aggression into more positive things, boxing however teaches you to let your aggression control you, as i have seen with so many boxers or people who have taken it up as a sport or hobby... which isn't going to help you to deal with cases where by you are more frustrated or if things get a little heated...
It seems you can a kink. According to psychology, kinkiness is the use of non-conventional sexual practices, concepts or fantasies. The term derives from the idea of a "bend" in one's sexual behaviour, to contrast such behaviour with "straight" or "vanilla" sexual mores and proclivities. Whether it’s unusual is an opinion.
This is kind of toxic. You shouldn’t be beating each other. It’s one thing if you were role playing with the intention of having sex but it just happened to turn into sex. There’s a reason why you divorced in the first place, I think you should just spend some time apart.
Well, yeah. Like what others on here said, the woman shouldn't be hitting him if she didn't want to get hit back.
I mean, I get asked this a lot to be honest and it starts annoying me, because the moment I say that I would, the girl always says that you shouldn't hit a girl and I say that if a girl doesn't want to get hit, then she shouldn't hit the other person.
The moment you hit the man, you have lost that privilege of no hitting girls, I would never be the one to raise a hand to a woman first, but if she put her hands on me then I will treat that as her officially renouncing her safety and that we are having a physical fight, there is no way I am just going to be a punching bag for her to physically abuse.
You need to learn that your actions have consequences and it seems to be something not many girls are aware of lately.
There's a thing called gender equality and that includes equal treatment between genders, which means if a female hits a male, he is well within his rights to hit her back, in this scenario he even supposedly tried to walk away after he pushed you but you insisted which caused him to snap.
As for your question of are you bipolar when you got turned on by him belting you, there are people who get turned on by physical abuse, it's called masochism, but if you have experienced pain similar to this before and not liked it, then you could say it is a thing that depends on your mood, I wouldn't be putting you into Bi-polar just because of this.
But treat this as a learning point, don't hit people if you don't want to be hit back, that's just the way it works, okay? I want to say that if it is playful hits between each other then it's fine, but if you hit someone with the INTENT to HURT them, then you deserve to get hurt back.
I think you crossed a line by slapping him, it gave him the right to slap you back. Though, I think it is mature of him that he did not slap you back. Instead, he took a more effective approach with you.
I do not support violence in relationships, but if your girlfriend or wife is hitting you, then you have the right to spank her with a belt, if you think it would be effective. Sometimes, even well meaning women tend to become aggressive and misuse good men's reluctance to hit a woman, in such cases "putting the woman in her place" as they say, isn't a bad idea.
The fact that it turned you on was good, it introduced you to a kind of submissive state within yourself. I think the spanking approach is the best way he can deal with your emotional outbursts that lead to violence. It would be better for your relationship, if he were to routinely spank you while you apologize to him for your violent behavior. It is actually considered a kind of therapy, and it can help you a lot in controlling your violent outbursts, as the fear and shame associated with spanking will hold you back from starting violence the next time.
In the long-term, it could make you very submissive to him and it is healthy for a relationship when one of the partner is actively submissive to the other partner. If you want to maintain a healthy balance in this relationship, my advice would be give in to your submissive desires.
Would I hit a woman back? Yes. If she didn't want to get hit she shouldn't have started swinging. However I would give her a warning first. As for your very fucked up situation, clearly you want to be dominated and that exactly what you did (you had it coming, just don't think he expected sex from it). As for therapy, yeah, both of you need therapy and you should have been seeking counciling before the divorce happened (and should probably do that now, couples counciling as well as individual counciling).
Of course. I was raised to avoid violence, and I do. But if it comes to that, I'm definitely not going to hold back on the basis of sex. Yes, the percentage of women who even approach my muscular strength is quite small, but 1. knowledge and experience matter a lot in fights, and as noted, I've spent my life avoiding violence, and 2. we have these things called "weapons". We've had them since before we were human.
The only difference between an open-handed slap and a series of angry stabs is degree. If you start the violence, you have no right to complain when it comes back at you.
Not at all! Men should never hit a women. Guys should never hit girls. As females have a lot of emotions, it is not our place to hit females. It is our place to support and protect females. I got hit by females in my life but never in my life did I hit a female. What I do is just let it go.
Keep in mind, when a female likes a guy she hits him sometimes soft, sometimes mid. Girls think with emotions and sometimes it gets out of control and ends up with her hitting him.
I am guilty of being a jack as_ when I was 20 at a bar... after the girl hit me I just said did not hurt. (She hit me again) again I said did not hurt. (She hit me again) again I said did not hurt. then she threw her drink at me and stormed out.
Yeah any man who rationalizes and accepts being hit by another person by stating he was deserving of it is weak in my eyes. It’s beyond weak. If you accept that kind of treatment from another human being and accept it by saying you’re deserving of that kind of treatment... well that’s a person who doesn’t respect themselves.
Sadly you a very delusional in what respect for a woman is. If you think hitting a woman is acceptable and ok it shows your chauvinistic character. It takes bigger balls NOT to hit back. Hitt6back only reveals your insecurities and emotional lack of control.. Getting defensive only reinforces the issue.
So I treat people on a equal basis. I don’t jeopardize my personal safety due to some allegiance towards the acceptance of woman hitting others. I think women are adults and possess enough self restraint to act like a mensch. Your gender is absolutely irreverent if you’re attacking me. Having worked as a sheriffs deputy, I can tell you first hand that women are not immune towards the ramifications of assault. If you get hit by other people as a punching bag with pride, then go ahead and live your best life. That’s extremely weak and you’re not going to change my mind.
I respect women on the basis of their character and who they are as human beings. They don’t earn my utmost respect by default because of their gender. If your a woman who assaults people when you’re emotionally upset, then you are wildly immature on an emotional level and possess little to no self restraint. You’re a piece of shit if that’s how you handle issues. Simple. The same applies to a man.
It sounds like a male fantasy letter written to penthouse forum...
But let's assume you're legit and telling the truth. You just discovered that you have a kink. So long as you indulge it safely, you're fine. You shouldn't have to anger him to the point of violence just to get great sex though. Start learning how to BDSM your way to good sex. Probably with more D and M on your part.
As for the title of the question, yeah, I'd hit a woman if she hit me first. That's equality. But I wouldn't have to beat her up or hit her as hard as I could. I'd probably just hit her once at the same strength she hit me, and that would snap her out of it since most women never expect a man to hit back.
Absolutely. I hate admitting this, but I had an abusive mother growing up. If anyone hits me, they are dead and better be lucky I only retaliate in equal force. Physical abuse is a bit of a trigger of mine, so people better keep their hands to themselves.
I don't think this is a genuine post, though.
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Anonymous
(36-45)
+1 y
If it is deserved slap I wouldn't hit back, but in case she over do it by trying to do it multiple times or trying to hit me with something that will most likely course me an injury I would defend myself...
And during martial art training I have no problems hitting a woman...
Obviously it would be not 100% of power, reasonable force, to do what is necessary or restraint her until she calms down and obviously, if I would need to do any of those not during training to my girlfriend or wife I would seriously consider moving on as I don't like any violence outside training...
Scenario 1: She clocks me in the face once. Just once. It's bold. I am stunned and probably shocked. I walk away pissed probably don't want to talk to her ever again. But I'll probably get over it.
Scenario 2: She slaps me disrespectfully. Instant slapback.
Scenario 3: She attacks me, I mean she's really trying to do some damage. Get ready to see the light of God.
Scenario 4: She slaps me, I deserved it. I probably apologize.
If she was "hitting" me out of pure genuine anger, frustration and rage for something I'd done terribly wrong, then I'd understand the reaction. But if we are talking about a chick just hitting me for no fundamental reason, then yes, I would give her a slap and put her on her ass if her behaviour needed to be checked. I would also punch a woman if it came to it in extreme scenarios.
Are you talking a slap in the face for shooting my mouth off, fist bump, or playful jab in the arm, or professional boxer accidentally breaking me? I spent enough time getting my ass handed too me by older, more experienced female counterparts in full contact martial arts too k ow better than too give any quarter or opportunities.
Would I hit a dude that's smaller than me after he attacked me? Heck yes. You as a woman aren't exempt of that. If you want to be treated like a lady with all the added benefits, act like one. But the moment you raise your hand and hit me, you got to deal with the consequences.
I am appalled and very turned on at the same time 😠
I'd be fine with hitting back if she did that, but I don't think I'd hit her. I might restrain her till she cooled off or maybe just toss her out, unless we're not at my place, in which case I'd probably just leave. If she was gonna be violent, I wouldn't want anything to do with her. That's fucked up.
I would never attack a bear because I’m not strong enough to fight one and it’s just stupid. Only if I’m under attack would I hit a woman back, in that situation I don’t see gender. Every other situation I’d just push them or restrain. That being said a woman should never hit a man treat each other with respect and you receive it back. Don’t attack a man and then try to use your I’m a girl card, I will side with the guy every time.
I wouldn't hit anyone back unless it was in last-resort self-defense.
Unpopular opinion inbound, but I believe women shouldn't hit other women back just as much as men shouldn't hit women back. You never have any way of knowing if a woman's pregnant, which is why I say that.
I called the cops twice on my ex for hitting me. If I allowed it to continue I would be living with someone who thinks its ok to physically hit me and if I put up with it eventually I would hit her back. I don't want wither of those two things to happen
Well for one honestly you should never hit someone and not expect to not get hit back regardless of gender, 2nd your a mashocist so in short you like pain, which i think is curable, I don't know maybe. 3rd you aren't bipolar, your just a woman. HAHA, just messing with ya but in reality your fine. Lots of girls like pain, spanking and stuff so no your fine
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Anonymous
(45 Plus)
+1 y
lol, that's quite the story, a good porn one!
I'll give you the benefit of the doubt though and let say it's true, this isn't a good relationship or way to handle things. It's good you're not together anymore for sure! If you were, I'd suggest therapy.
It would depend on the fight we are having and how hard you hit me. But yes i would. I don't like to be physical. But if provoked i will fight back. That been said i would hit as hard or enough to really hurt bad. e. g., you punch me on the arm, your getting one to. I'm a firm believer in and eye for an eye. Don't do something you can't handle if its returned. Sorry if this is an unpopular opinion.
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