Why guys tend to go back to their ex?

Question

I have seen a lot of guys who are in a relationship and the girl is trying her best to keep that relationship alive also the guy is equally getting involved until the moment when one message from their ex ruins their mind and they tend to go back to their ex and doesn't care about the current girl.. why does it happen?

Qdbrown · Accepted Answer

Unfinished and unresolved closure. If a long-term serious relationship, from most men, they have a sense of loyalty. Not that they will not see and start stuff with other women, they will. Men can easy have recreational sex while happily tied to someone else. It's not a quirk. And it's actually biological for the survival of the species.

In fact many men race into the next girl for so many not so good reasons. They miss the bedroom fun. They miss being coupled. They have codependence issues just being with a person so long. So when that person is gone, they're lost and it's easy to rebound.

To get over a relationship takes a lot of work and time. Most people are not prepared for what it takes, and many guys can mess up picking a lot of not the best girl, or not see who the best girl is because he is too busy trying to regain all that he lost. He wakes up months or years later and realizes the rebound partner is not that good for him. If his ex comes a calling anywhere near this stage, he will almost certainly go back to her. Even to his own detriment.

And women do not have the same issue. Women are not that loyal. They don't just break up with guys. They always have a bigger and better version of guy waiting in the winds when they leave. If she retreats back is that she lost that option or all the options she thought she had. Her hypergamy is going crazy and many women who seek their ex are actually looking for a safe harbor. She will get back out there and find a better partner at some point. Men and women are different, and are motivated by different things that brings them together.

ohshee · Accepted Answer

Will the ex girlfriend doesn't realize that the new girlfriend is not putting up with the guys crap she's making it very difficult for him because she wants a man not a boy guys want to go back with your exes because of the freedom to get away with whatever they were getting away with in the first place because you're lazy and you don't have to work as hard as they do with the new girlfriend and they can't manipulate the new girlfriend Kaiser generally lazy they're going to wherever the easiest task is they have to do but the odds are most of the time it's because their new girlfriend don't let them get away with whatever they want to get away with they have to be accountable and they don't like that

Paris13 · Accepted Answer

Many times if a Relationship is Over with Someone, Many go Right into another One-----It is then a Rebound. They should really Wait for the Right Mate so they Know that it is Over. And for Some, Hun---It is never Over. No matter How Hard anyone Tries. They do Not always go back with the Other, But for a lifetime----May Love them or just Love them as a Friend. xx

DarkCarousel · Accepted Answer

It's not just guys that do this. People lean on familiarity for comfort, even if it's not th best thing for them.

coachTanthony · Answer

-----------------Because we miss them, and also because they’re safe.

People don't allow enough time to go by before trying someone else on and usually if given the chance they will retreat back to safety in the arms of an ex.

virtue2332 · Answer

That's not always the case. I've refuse to go back because it usually ends up being an ego thing for the girl. Now that he moves on she wants her man back but in her eyes it's just the prize she is after and will lose interest again once she has him back. No relationship that has ended will work unless someone is motivated to change or work on what broke them up in the first place. Also if he went back it wasn't as solid as it might have seemed. Not worth the persons time that he is leaving for the ex. She shouldn't take it personally it has nothing to do with them and everything to go with the other person. She will find the right one. Statistically there are more than just one person. Or the one right one. There are a number of people that would work out perfectly. Patience is key one should never simply settle for the sake of not being lonely

oldasIfeel22 · Answer

I have never gone back to an ex. I wouldn’t even go back to the “one who got away” if she suddenly called me out of nowhere and begged for it. Yes I have deeply yearned for closure from her but never to get back together. Considering the unnecessary and deeply malicious bs she pulled on me after we split I could never trust her.

But I notice women have far less guilt about screwing over guys they either lost interest in or never liked at all. They see us as expendable because that’s what society has taught them to view us as.

TruthBringer · Answer

Such men are weak and are living within a scarcity mindset. These are often men who have nothing going on in their lives and are blinded by their feelings of an ex and the comfort of the known. A self-respecting man with a good head on his shoulders, and who has options, isn't going to crawl back to an ex. Unfortunately, feelings can override rationale, hence why not just men, but also women tend to crawl back to the person who have left an imprint on them. In the end, it rarely works out considering they are blinded by the "good times" and forget about what ruined the relationship, in the first place. Only to find out that the old probleem are still there.

crazy8000 · Answer

It's the same reasons no matter gender.
It may differ from case to case between a couple of different reasons.

Love.
Convenience.
Loneliness.
Using the other one.
Fear.
Think it's going great better (rarely is in the long run. only feels very right in the beginning and then does it fade away and has a tendency to turn to more shit then last time) .
Can't live with each other but can't live without each other at the same time (usually jumps back and forth multiple times) .
Revenge.
Rebound.
Fuck friends.
Aren't done with each other on a emotional level.

loveslongnails · Answer

May I ask - how many is "a lot of guys" ? How many anecdotes and how much personal experience do you have with this assertion, or observation?

I personally have none, so I can't agree or disagree with your statement. But what I CAN say very easily is this: if ALL it takes is a text from the ex to get him back at a vulnerable moment, the current girlfriend should be GLAD to get rid of him !!

SlightlyEccentric · Answer

I only got back together with my first ex and I learned how much of a mistake that was. My second girlfriend left me for someone else and she tried to come back to me pleading to take her back. I said no and told her that she must have thought I wasn't important enough to her when she left me.

Alexandrubaschet08 · Answer

Because in my opinion, if the ex whas the first serios relationship it mean it's a special memory for them/us.
I will olso go back to my ex if she accept to be togeder again
Last yare she accepted me to visit her and i don't regret it. Whoas one of the best time of my life when i see her again.

Massageman · Answer

For the ones who do, I would think it is either 1. because they are comfortable with them- they may hate them, but they are a "known quantity" at least. 2. Because many people will search out the same type of person they had as an SO before, either by design or by lack of ability or desire to change.

WalkingBassist · Answer

I dont understand why anyone would ever do anything with an ex. When it's over, they are dead to me. Not like, I want to hurt anyone. Just that if we break up, it's over and the most contact we would have is if I'm so. ewere public and I see her, I just say hello and then ignore her the whole time.

Dalton57 · Answer

They are not going back to their ex. They never really left their ex.  They had a fight broke up you were a nice diversion to take the edge off. They got back together again.

niceboyyes · Answer

You are also welcome to answer me here.
So I think it's because a person is not made to love only one person in his life. But this is meant more as a friendship and not as a relationship. He still likes his ex, loves her and remembers the good times, maybe? Maybe there are situations where his ex has mastered them better, so his current?

watrewks · Answer

I think both guys and girls share the same motivation when it comes to this. They get caught up in their imagination of the good stuff it was like before and end up thinking that they should get back together

exitseven · Answer

Sometimes guys do not get over a relationship. It's not just guys that do this. I got dumped by somebody who went back with her old boyfriend from college.

SynthKobra · Answer

In my experience it’s lack of closure plus that familiarity and time apart that makes them more appealing. I really dislike the idea personally but sometimes they work out.

spartan55 · Answer

Why guys I CHOOSE tend to go back to their ex? There, fixed it for ya.

Bean2thousand · Answer

It's sort of like visiting the town where you grew up as a child. All those feelings of nostalgia, of a time when you were young and free. Sure, you left that place for a reason, but the good memories are still there.

MannMitAntworten · Answer

Beats me. I have never done it myself and an ex did message and I was involved at the time. The ex was the one to end it. I moved on. She made her bed and now she had to lay in it were my sentiments.

Uptowngirl88 · Answer

They never really left their ex. Their relationship with the ex was dysfunctional they argue /split up then get back together that's their routine. You just happen to be in the middle of it.

DiegoO · Answer

The flawed perception that there could be something more to "fix things". I experienced that, started ovee with my ex, only to end the same way.

red324 · Answer

I've dated tons of girls where I feel something is just missing... Then one day you run into that one girl who is everything you ever wanted. What would you do? Just let her go?

AmeerX · Answer

I think only time going back to an ex is okay when you are single and they feel sorry for their behavior too

Rok4bakAR · Answer

Easy FK! As those guys don’t have manly skills. So they can’t hunt.  So they go for whatever is easy.

MrDaley35 · Answer

because u are either not fun or not as enough for them as there ex was, or they are players trying to make there exes jealous to accept them back.

Iron_Man · Answer

Because they’re alone and it’s a struggle to start all over again and you’re a familiar face plus They miss the sex

Anonymous · Answer

Believe it or not it’s not easy to find a girl and then go through the whole phase of dating and then attraction and commitment. I think when guys get lonely and realize they fucked up they go back to the same girl. That’s what I think anyways.

dudeinohio · Answer

I never have gone back to exes. Issues will still be there. Always best to move on.

Anonymous · Answer

Cause exes know their true colors and so they dont have to fake it anymore

Wise4myage · Answer

Sex would be a very good reason, or the idea of it.

EaterPeter · Answer

How much you know about windows computer reset? You know about the option to go to last known good configuration? I guess you can relate

Better_off_here · Answer

Because they feel that no one is better than them, they have seen the other side and the grass was not always greener after all.

jasco · Answer

Because their are emotional ties their. Those ties are very hard to break

minitoyou · Answer

Guys generally do this for comfort and validation. If a part of our lives isn't going so well we'll see going back as a good idea.

Asianguy123 · Answer

My friend told me that first love is only love for men and the last lover is the only love for women.

Anonymous · Answer

Maybe they were dumped by the X feel more comfortable with them since they did have a a relationship for a while for the new girlfriend

Anonymous · Answer

We look at our junk & have flashbacks to when it was in her mouth & We text her immediately

FilmGuy93 · Answer

Unhealthy codependence

Daniela1982 · Answer

Because they are stinking stupid!

BarryLiverstone · Answer

Because the new girl is just a rebound

KrakenAttackin · Answer

I have never, ever, gone back to an ex.

Waldoe · Answer

a wife is for Life...

legalboxers · Answer

they feel comfortable...

Ryfyle · Answer

Probably because it's you, not them.

Aiko_E_Lara · Answer

Same reason why girls tend to go back to their ex

Pterodon · Answer

Because the exes are stupid enough to allow it

anylolone · Answer

Same as girls, and the answer is no.

In_Trance · Answer

probably for the same reasons girls do

plzmee · Answer

Some just don't learn

thatgarciasauce · Answer

Because we can't do better lol

Mia-Wallace · Answer

Do they?

Anonymous · Answer

I have literally never seen that happen.

Jifensns · Answer

Because white wkmen demand BBC

Anonymous · Answer

Better the devil you know...

Anonymous · Answer

Cause i need a piece.

fred_durst · Answer

i am not

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