I am trying to keep this as short as possible. Please only comment if you can be kind, as this has been more than tough enough already.
My ex and I had a bit of a complicated relationship. He had trust issues from an ex many years ago, was abused as a child, both sexually and physically, had alcoholic and drug addicted parents, went through his own times of homelessness and drug addiction, his father is no longer in his life, his next step father was very abusive and his last step father, who he looked up to a lot, was having a year+ affair and now is divorcing his mom. The divorce was ugly. He also lost two uncles this year-both murdered. He deals with his own struggles with mental illness and avoids really whatever he can when it comes to negative emotions and overthinking. He was not very expressive when it came to verbally expressing his feelings. We knew eachother four years before dating. We dated for about 8 months, but spent a ton of time together. One day we had a fight, and I think he was stressed and triggered by something I did not understand, and he broke up with me. That morning we were happy and doing great and he had just given me an extremely thoughtful gift that he put a lot of thought into. So the breakup was sudden and I felt really dumb. He would not budge and said due to how we fight, we needed to break up. This happened one other time as well and we did get back together, but only because I continued to be around and be there for him. He does not have anyone close to him. For a few weeks, he still spoke to me like normal and reached out often. One day he stopped and I saw he signed up for several dating sites, I was hurt, but knew he needed a distraction. We still communicate, but not much. I was recently diagnosed with stomach cancer. I privately told his mom, as we are close. She ended up telling him and said his face turned white instantly. He reached out right away and when I saw him in person, I told him a bit of what I knew, but cont.
My ex and I had a bit of a complicated relationship. He had trust issues from an ex many years ago, was abused as a child, both sexually and physically, had alcoholic and drug addicted parents, went through his own times of homelessness and drug addiction, his father is no longer in his life, his next step father was very abusive and his last step father, who he looked up to a lot, was having a year+ affair and now is divorcing his mom. The divorce was ugly. He also lost two uncles this year-both murdered. He deals with his own struggles with mental illness and avoids really whatever he can when it comes to negative emotions and overthinking. He was not very expressive when it came to verbally expressing his feelings. We knew eachother four years before dating. We dated for about 8 months, but spent a ton of time together. One day we had a fight, and I think he was stressed and triggered by something I did not understand, and he broke up with me. That morning we were happy and doing great and he had just given me an extremely thoughtful gift that he put a lot of thought into. So the breakup was sudden and I felt really dumb. He would not budge and said due to how we fight, we needed to break up. This happened one other time as well and we did get back together, but only because I continued to be around and be there for him. He does not have anyone close to him. For a few weeks, he still spoke to me like normal and reached out often. One day he stopped and I saw he signed up for several dating sites, I was hurt, but knew he needed a distraction. We still communicate, but not much. I was recently diagnosed with stomach cancer. I privately told his mom, as we are close. She ended up telling him and said his face turned white instantly. He reached out right away and when I saw him in person, I told him a bit of what I knew, but cont.
Updates
+1 y
He had a lot of questions. He took me out for ice cream that day and invited me in his room where everything I ever gave him was still out, including several notes I wrote him on the wall. (2.5 months post break up) He still did not reach out a lot, but has here and there asking how things are and if I know more of the outcome. Do you think he really cares or just feels guilty? I have wanted to be back together this entire time and love him a lot. Any advice on navigating this?
