How do you deal with an unfunny guy?

[Anonymous]

Okay, I like this guy and a lot of my friends don't really like him because they think his jokes are too harsh and hey find him annoying, some of my guy friends do as well. I've actually noticed it. I mean he and I have the same type of personality which is this dark sarcastic humor, he just really can't use it around other people. But when he and I talk he doesn't joke like that. He'll tease me but never to the point where I'm offended. and he always smiles when we talk. ha ha that's one thing I most definitely notice =p but how can I deal with it? or at least get my friends to understand that they shouldn't dislike him for the way he is.

[LittleMissGriff]

... You don't want your friends to dislike a guy who offends them. Ok, they dislike him for a reason. I'm not saying he's a bad guy or that you need to dump him, but you need to be aware it is not their job to like someone just because you do. If he's rude or offensive to them, they have every right to dislike him. It's great that he doesn't treat you that way, but that doesn't mean your friends have to put up with getting the scalding treatment on your behalf.

If your boyfriend and your friends don't get along because your boyfriend can't be civil, then your boyfriend and your friends should not hang out. That may make life more difficult for you, but you're the reason why they have to see each other in the first place. Your friends are getting nothing out of your relationship with him except hurt.

The best option is to talk to your boyfriend and see if he's willing to improve his behavior. If it's something as simple as 'He doesn't realize he's crossed a line', that can be worked on. You have to be honest with him when you're out with friends and say 'Hon, that wasn't appropriate.' If he's working on changing, he'll apologize, but if he's much happier being the sharp tongue person he is now, he'll brush you off and be unapologetic.

Either way, it's your choices that are getting people hurt here. That means that it's your choice to fix the issue, not theirs.

[learningthegame16]

You can't force your friends to like him. There's always going to be someone that you never click with, however, if they're your friends they'll accept him because you like/love him.

At the end of the day, real friends want you to be happy and if you happiness means being with someone they don't personally like, they'll learn to cope with it. After all, no one can ever really know what goes on between two people.

If they ask why your with him or whatever, just say "He makes me laugh and happy."

[LittleMissGriff]

However, no matter how real the friend, it is not fair to ask them to put up with offensive actions and rude comments 'Because I really, really like him', when they're the ones being attacked, even unintentionally.

[learningthegame16]

She never said that he was insulting her friends, all I got from above was that her friends didn't like him or his humour (Which is weird, if her humour is similar to his).

Part of growing up accepting that your friends are going to date people you don't like and it sounds like that's what her friends need to learn.

[Asker]

our humor is similar but I guess I have a better way of using it..its hard to explain..lol..but even sometimes I don't think he's being funny. lol..their are people who use dark humor well and others that just really dont. I know he just has to understand that since they are girls..they don't take to his humor as they do to mine..but he never says anything sexual or anything against females

[learningthegame16]

If you do start dating him, don't worry about your friends. They'll come around eventually and make an effort to get to know him better.

At the end of the day it's your life not your friends, if you really like him, go for it. Don't become one of those girls who won't date someone because her friends don't approve, because you might miss out on something great.