I’s it wrong to sext my boyfriend who is in prison?

[anonbrunette99]

Cause someone said “you are coco teasing him” (he’s been down for 6 years and has 10 more to go) and that I’m “teasing a caged individual)
one time he even said during our sexting “I hate when you do this to me” is it really that bad?

[MrOracle]

So, you are going to waste your entire youth - and nearly all of your child-bearing years, and also the time when you have, BY FAR, the highest SMV (social market value), which gives you the most leverage to attract the best potential husband - because you are waiting on your criminal boyfriend, who is serving 16 years? That's not just a speeding ticket.

What happens if he gets out and decides, after 16 years, he doesn't want to be with you anymore - that he can't relate to you after so long in prison. That happens all the time.

Average SMV (Social Market Value), by age and sex

It's your life to throw away, but there are no second chances to get it right: you will pay the consequences of your decisions, much as he's doing now. Do you have ANY idea how much harder the dating market will be once you hit 30? At 22, you have a TON of leverage, because huge numbers of men find you attractive, and you can attract higher-value men. If that leverage was money, it's like being able to afford a yacht in your early 20s (like someone with money, you still have to make good choices so that you don't get scammed, though).

What your SMV potentially buys you in your early 20s.

As you get older, your value on the dating market decreases substantially.

What your SMV potentially buys you in your early 30s.

What your SMV potentially buys you in your 40s.

Still think it's a good idea to wait?

[anonbrunette99]

What if I be his friend and date people out here? By the time he gets out I could have been in multiple failed relationships or even a failed marriage but I hear what you’re saying by the time he gets out I won’t be as young and desirable as I am now and wasting it on someone that has nothing to offer me expect interaction through phone calls visits and screen/emails is senseless but I do have strong feelings for him.

[MrOracle]

What if you move on from this guy entirely, and build a better life for yourself? Why keep your feelings wrapped up in a criminal that's done something bad enough to spend 16 years in prison? That's NOT a good guy. That's the kind of guy who could ruin YOUR life too.

Again, it's your choice, but if you're asking me, I would advise you to make a clean break, put him out of your mind, and focus on YOUR life and setting yourself up for a quality long-term future. A thug isn't going to provide you anything but drama and hardship.

[GoodGuyBreakingBad]

I can tell you that phone calls are recorded and if you tell all these people
on this question no then your a troll or lying also you could be a catfish
or this is a deep fantasy of yours and you could be a guy I know cause
my late grand-dad was law enforcement and prisons don't allow
this bullshit with sexting over the phone yes my pap was a Deputy
Sheriff trust me if you get caught they will serve a warrant on you
and take all telephone information and calls but this could be a
prison that doesn't give a shit

[GoodGuyBreakingBad]

Thanks For MHO :)

[LonelyDeer]

It takes two people to sext. If you're both doing it or into it, no it's not wrong. It's entirely based on your boyfriend. If he engages in it, it's fine. If you're the only one sending messages and he is telling you not to, then yes it is wrong.

[KrakenAttackin]

How are you sexting a prisoner? Unless you are saying he has an illegal phone on prison?

[anonbrunette99]

Jpay/securus/corrlinks

[Anonymous]

Lol, so you're dating a criminal loser.. If you don't see the issue with that, then you deserve to be with a worthless criminal..

[anonbrunette99]

I hear you... I know I can do better but the heart wants what it wants I’m sure one day I will see sense before my friends or family force me to

[Opinion Owner]

Its your choice. i won't fault you that, but you really need to reexamine your own life if you think someone who is going to be in prison for 16 years is really worthy of you. Think about this. Do you plan to be the primary bread winner when he comes out? Cause there is virtually no chance of him having any kind of job beyond minimum wage with the kind of record he has.

[CreamySeed]

you need to be shaken until you come to your senses

[anonbrunette99]

shaken?

[CreamySeed]

Dont date the incarcerated

[Adogdog]

I think it's wrong for a 22 year old girl to have a boyfriend that is in prison in the first place.

[anonbrunette99]

You are probably very correct but the heart wants what it wants. Mt friends and family are desperately trying to talk me out of it.. they said be his friend but date people out here, I think I might do what they advised

[anylolone]

Yes, you aren't supposed to have cellphones in prison.

[Anonymous]

I assume he was the one who pursued you or hit on you

[anonbrunette99]

Oh god reading these replies has me deep in realisation of “what the fuck am I doing”

[Opinion Owner]

Just was speaking of my lifelong resentment of how guys have to be the ones to make the first move or Court women

[anonbrunette99]

He was my pen pal first I had to find him, it was a mutual sense of pursing each other in the end

[Opinion Owner]

Yeah I've always hated that role so much that it has filled me with dark thoughts at times in my life

[jjj101010]

He’ll get extra time if they find the phone

[anonbrunette99]

It’s on jpay/securus