I just found out a guy I’ve been talking to on Snapchat is married. What should I do?

[Anonymous]

Some random guy added me on Snapchat about a month ago. We live in different states. We sort of formed a friendship. He has made occasional flirty comments but other than that, we’re just friends. I’ve never flirted back. He’s never asked for anything inappropriate either. I got curious and tried to find him on social media with the little information I had. I found him on Facebook and the information matches perfectly, his birthday, religion, city. I even found his mom, which I saw works at a nursing home, just as he said. I even found HIS WIFE. He said he was single and looking to get married soon and have kids soon too. Come to find out, they’re expecting a baby. He’s been a nice person and all but that’s really messed up of him. I don't know if I should confront him or just unfriend him or I don't know. What should I do? Did he technically cheat on his wife?

[MrOracle]

You should STOP trying to "date" or "talk to" guys on apps, and learn that you should always date LOCALLY and meet people in person. What did you really think was going to come of a non-local "relationship" anyway? Just end things with this guy and forget him.

And going forward, remember that the POINT of a relationship is to spend time TOGETHER, in the same room, face-to-face. That means you need to date LOCAL guys. Yes, I realize that it SEEMS like you have better options if you go after guys on apps and don't care where they are, but this exact situation shows you one of MANY reasons why this isn't actually the case. But even if he was single, and a "great guy", and had no secrets and told no lies, he'd still be far away and you'd still hardly ever see him - so what's the point?

[Anonymous]

Block him n talk to me lol well no technically I wouldn’t say it’s cheating. But obviously he’s hiding that part of his life from you for a reason just as I’m sure he’s hiding you from his wife if he really is married. I think I’d ask him. Which chances are he’s going to deny or he’s going to say well I didn’t want to lose you as a friend if you knew I was in a relationship already. You have to think that if you actually did find out the truth about him, what were his intentions w you as to why he didn’t say anything? Plus that’s no way to start of a new relationship w a big lie like that.

[SnakeBoop]

FYI, you do have evidence to show her. Him flirting and claiming to be single is the evidence. Please send it to her.

[Asker]

No, it was on Snapchat so it’s gone actually :/
It’s a confusing situation cause like we didn’t have anything going on but he just jokingly flirted a few times. He never actually tried to pursue anything with me either. I just stated that I intended to just be pals and he was fine with that. But yeah, it sucks he pretended to have a completely different life.

[SnakeBoop]

well definitely call him out on it. probably why he's using snapchat. Half of me would be sneaky, basically re-ask like you'd forgotten if he was single or not, and then screenshot and send to the wife. XD Or just tell her without the evidence but at least with the screenshot it helps her more, then call out and block him.

[Asker]

😆 I was thinking of just distancing myself and letting the friendship die off. Your plan sounds appealing though. I’ll think about it.

[rainbowbi]

block him and send his snap ID to his wife if you know her social media account

[Asker]

That’s what I think the right thing to do might be but it’s hard for me to believe he’d do this cause he sounds like a nice person and all. I almost hate having to ruin things for him and his wife but he definitely messed up. But also, I was thinking that since he didn’t actually try to pursue anything with me, I should just let our acquaintanceship die out?

[rainbowbi]

you can just block him maybe it is better cause you don't know anything from him or his family

[nella965]

@Asker Nice people don't lie to innocent people or trick innocent people. he's not a nice guy. he's very shady

[Avicenna]

It's not cheating (yet), but maybe he planned to. You should definitely unfriend him rather than giving him some opportunity to try to talk his way out of his deception.

[Finchie40]

Confront him about it and ask him why he lied to you or just delete him and block him , He Already lied to you so why would you want to stay friends with a liar? It’s your call on what you do ,

[TommyMountainFigure]

Before you go jumping the gun, you are putting two and two together in the belief you have four. But you aren't 100% sure.

[Anonymous]

If you need someone to tell you the right thing in this situation. Then you're hosed already. It's pretty much instinctual if you're a decent human being.

[Asker]

The moment I found out, I instantly thought of possibly telling his wife. But I didn’t want to go through with it without thinking it through. I’m just an over thinker. Trying to get different thoughts on this whole thing so I’m can decide how to approach the situation.

[Opinion Owner]

I would just walk away. You think his wife doesn't know he's a pos? You really think if she doesn't know she'd accept you at your word. It's not your job to save his wife. Don't get involved. Just walk away.

[nella965]

@Asker, do not tell his wife. there are a lot of psycho women out there. she might be coming after you for revenge. Doesn't matter if you are unaware he is married or not.

[Opinion Owner]

@nella965 exactly my point. And that's at worst. At best she's going to take her husband's side (at least in your prescence) and take her anger out on you.

[nella965]

@Opinion owner there are a lot of wives who take their husbands side cus she still loves him and wants him back

[Opinion Owner]

@nella965 yep.

[Opinion Owner]

I get angry at women when I read these posts because I want to grab them and shake them and say "have some respect to for yourself". "You're a woman, you're a queen, a man CAN'T take anything away from you that you don't allow him to". Sure he can cheat on you. But the he f'ed up because if you're a strong woman you respect yourself, you leave him, and then he can never have you again. And if he has any brains at all at some point he realizes that. And that he feed up.

[nella965]

@Opinion owner, yea, i know its shocking. From my experience , when a wife finds out her husband is cheating, she gets more angry at the 3rd party than the husband.

[Anonymous]

Tell his wife, show her the evidence, then block the fucker.

[Asker]

I don’t exactly have evidence. We, or at least I, never flirted. He’s only made flirty remarks just a couple times but that was through sc so it’s gone. Other than that, we’ve been strictly friends, we just talk, never send snaps. I thought maybe I should tell his wife but I feel bad ruining everything for them. They’re newly weds and expecting a baby. Should I really?

[Opinion Owner]

Well if you never flirted then he's technically done nothing wrong. Either stick with him as friends or tell him you wanted a relationship but found out he's married and then don't talk to him anymore

[Asker]

I’m not wanting a relationship with him. Actually, I made it clear we were just gonna be like internet pals and he respected that. But yeah, knowing what I know about him now makes this whole thing feel wrong. And it sucks cause he actually sounds like a nice guy. I just can’t wrap my head around the fact that he pretended to be single and lonely while he just got married this year and is having a baby.

[Opinion Owner]

So why do you care whether he's married or not. It makes no difference to you. I guess the only reason is that he lied, in which case you should confront him about it.

[Asker]

Well I don’t plan on staying friends anymore. I think I’ll just kinda let the friendship die off by distancing myself. Thanks for the advice though.

[nella965]

@Asker, do not tell his wife. there are a lot of psycho women out there. she might be coming after you for revenge. Doesn't matter if you are unaware he is married or not.

[tatianamay]

You need to tell his wife

[Asker]

You think so? Cause also, he didn’t actually try to pursue anything with me. When he would jokingly flirt, I’d respond in a way that didn’t encourage it. But I also directly told him that we were just gonna be friends and he was cool with that. And yeah, we have been just friends and we occasionally talk. Just some dirty jokes from him occasionally. But yeah, I’m getting different responses to this and it’s confusing for me to know what to do.

[tatianamay]

He flirted with you. Why would he add a random woman on Snapchat when he has a wife and a kid on the way? Explain this situation to his wife, you never know what he'll do next

[tatianamay]

and woah, "dirty jokes?" A huge red flag there which indicates that he's flirting with you. A married man. tell his wife

[Asker]

Yeah, it does sound wrong, doesn’t it? Like even though our convos have been like 97% innocent (100% innocent on my part), he did lie about being single and also kinda flirted. I just feel awful about possibly ruining their marriage. Cause other than those jokes, he’s a good person. Sucks he made such a bad decision.

[FilmGuy93]

You could just not talk to him anymore...

[Anonymous]

Who are you to him? Nobody.

[Asker]

Yeah, I know. It just bothers me that he lied. I feel bad for his wife. I feel that he did wrong by her.

[Opinion Owner]

So? That’s not your issue so unfriend and go about your day.

[ItsMeItsMe1989]

yikes

[Asker]

Yeah ikr 😬

[Pterodon]

Block him