Should I continue to be friends with him or should I completely cut off contact?

[Anonymous]

I have a crush on my ex-coworker and I confessed to him on my last day of work. He rejected me by saying that he doesn’t want a relationship now and he wants to continue to be friends with me.

Background about my crush: his last relationship was three years ago and it was a messy breakup. Ever since then he has been saying things like he doesn’t want to be involved with women anymore because women are complicated, he doesn’t understand them and it is hard to please them etc.

Background about my friendship with my crush: we are definitely friends. We have some things in common and we have some inside jokes. At one point we were playing this online game every day for one month and I got to know a lot more about him. sometimes we go out with other colleagues for dinner and games.

To be very honest, i really think that my feelings are not completely one sided which is why I had the courage to confess but I also expected this answer based on my daily interactions with him. He is still fearful of commitment and my confession was too abrupt for him.

Right now I no longer see him around in the office and i do not know if I should continue to reach out to him (such as texting or initiating dinner etc) and be friends with him. But of course, deep down I know I am hoping for something more which can be quite unhealthy for me.

[teamvic]

Hmmm🤔

Well you see the problem is if you really do think he might have feelings too then you cutting him off would ruin any chance, but also, if you keep being friends with him, it'll be very hard to move on from him because you're still talking to him. You need distance from him to get over him

🤔 here's what you should do, keep being his friend. But don't initiate the messages or ask him to anything with you. For now anyway, just see how he plays it because sometimes people say we can still be friends and then completely ignore that person. So just wait for him to message you or ask to do stuff with you. Let that happen like 2 or 3 times where he initiates then you can start initiating stuff too. This way, if he really doesn't like you like then and he doesn't hit you up anymore. Well then you know how he feels and you had to move on anyway. And it saves you the embarrassment of being left on seen or ghosted😌😎

[Hungouttodry69]

Are you married or something? Other than that, why wouldn't you try to pursue someone you clearly feel so strongly about.

[SueShe]

You can continue to be friends with him but only friends. Don't put your hope too high because you are only going to fall and hurt yourself.

You had casual dinners with friends and it is because he was surrounded by other people that he felt confident and secure. Now, if you are asking him out for dinner, that would only be you and him and I am not sure that he would accept or feel confident to be alone with you because he knows your feelings.

It is best just to draw a line on this one-sided crush and to start something new with someone that you know will respond positively. You can still be friends and send him occasional text messages but that is where it should all stop.

[SueShe]

Thanks for the MHO

[he-takes-a-part]

YOu are ready to do both then why come here

[Iron_Man]

Sleep on it