A guy I like started hooking up with another girl right in front of me. How do I get over this?

[Anonymous]

Before I got the chance to show my interest, he flirted with her to get my attention in a very obvious and obnoxious way.

This really pissed me off so I started ignoring him and avoiding both him and the girl because I don’t like drama.

After a few months, I stopped avoiding him hoping that things could take a turn for the mature between us but instead he shows up the next day where I am and sneaks off to f*** the other girl.

Afterwards he comes and sits where I am to make sure that I can see him. They leave together then come back. She leaves permanently and he sits there watching me for a while longer. It’s as if he’s punishing me for what I don’t know. I had every intention of telling him how I felt but he ruined it before I could and now he punishes me for ignoring him.

My problem is that I still think about him and like him but I can’t bring myself to go after him after seeing this behavior. I also get the sense that he’s used to women chasing him and takes it as a rejection that I don’t chase him. How can I get over him?

[Anonymous]

Would you really want to be with someone like that. He thinks everything is a game. he's not mature enough for you

[Asker]

You’re right! It still kinda hurts though😪

[Opinion Owner]

Yea I understand. I was in your situation before. Maybe he's so desperate doing things like that he wants to talk? Or trying to get you jealous cause you "rejected him" maybe confront him on his behavior

[OlderAndWiser]

What silly games you two have played! If you want a mature man, stop playing little girl games.

[Asker]

How am I playing games?

[OlderAndWiser]

"Before I got the chance to show my interest, he flirted with her to get my attention in a very obvious and obnoxious way." You hadn't shown your interest but you are mad because you thought he was doing something deliberately to you.

"This really pissed me off so I started ignoring him and avoiding both him and the girl because I don’t like drama." Why didn't you talk to him and tell him how you felt?

"After a few months, I stopped avoiding him hoping that things could take a turn for the mature between us but instead he shows up the next day where I am and sneaks off to f*** the other girl." How do you know what they did; were you spying on them?

"Afterwards he comes and sits where I am to make sure that I can see him." He say where you could see him so you assumed t was deliberate and all about you.

"It’s as if he’s punishing me for what I don’t know." You are assuming that everything he does is about you. Maybe he just really likes the other girl.

"I had every intention of telling him how I felt but he ruined it before I could" Right.

"and now he punishes me for ignoring him." He is enjoying time with the other girl and you are pissed, so you think it is all about you.

"My problem is that I still think about him and like him but I can’t bring myself to go after him" Yeah, what a mistake it would be to actually tell a guy how you feel about him!

"after seeing this behavior. I also get the sense that he’s used to women chasing him and takes it as a rejection that I don’t chase him. How can I get over him?" Stop posting questions about this guy on G@G and start looking for another relationship.

[Asker]

Well I was hesitant to show my interest because he’s a coach at my gym and I wasn’t sure how to go about it at first or sure if he’d be open to that type of attention from a client. And everytime he flirted with her, he looked at me for a reaction. This lasted for an hour during one of his classes. I was mad that it was deliberate and that it was during class. I thought it was unprofessional and inconsiderate of clients time and money. So yes I was mad, on top of hurt by his behavior because I tend to hold my coaches in very high regards. And this was one that I liked very much.

I didn’t talk to him because I was hurt. I also didn’t want to have drama with the gym coach and other members. I also felt like he never really gave me a chance to tell him because he never tried to engage with me in the months that I was in his class yet expected me to give him the same type of attention that the other girl does.

I don’t know what they did so you’re right on that one. I just saw them sneak into the locker room together. She went then he followed.

If he really likes the other girl why does he follow me around? And use her to get under my skin? Why didn’t he hook up with her before I came? They’ve both been at this gym for a while. I was the new person. I always see her approach him but never him approach her. He flirts back when he’s in the mood. She goes out of her way to get his attention and he never did anything with it until now. And I really did want to tell him how I feel but I’m shy and was never sure about him because he never struck me as a serious person. He doesn’t even take his job seriously. How can I trust this person with my feelings? I’m not pissed. I’m hurt because I really liked him and I feel like he put a rift between us when he flirted with that girl.

[Asker]

And also, I just wasn’t at the gym for that. I take my gym time very serious so I usually don’t even focus on stuff like this or notice it. I was just lost in my mission to workout and hit my lifts until this happened. It wasn’t personal that I ignored him. I was also never sure about his feelings for me but the day he flirted with the girl I became sure. It was so blatantly obvious and he was visibly frustrated with me after class and the following days.

[Asker]

And I’m sorry but I’m also not one of those women who is overly affectionate to men or people that I don’t know well. Once I do get to know someone though I’m very loving. It’s just not as obvious for me as it is for the other girl. She feels a lot more comfortable flirting with and doing sexually suggestive things in public to get his attention. I’m a lot more private with my feelings so it’s unlikely to just come out in class. If we had gone to coffee or something then it would come out. I just feel sad because I feel like that’s what he expects from women and because I’m different he takes it as a rejection.

[Asker]

It’s gotten to a point where if I’m in his class, he doesn’t even coach me anymore. In the last class I had with him, he got visibly annoyed when I asked him for help with something. It’s like he’s now afraid or hesitant to even come near me. If I’m heading in his direction he moves out of my way yet he is always present outside of class times.

[Anonymous]

I don't know. I avoid mind games and so do most guys. Maybe he wasn't trying to get your attention.

[Asker]

Well he got frustrated with me afterwards and left early from where he normally sees me.

[Asker]

And while he flirted with her, his sister sat watching all 3 of us and laughing.

[Opinion Owner]

that's weird