How can I get him to make the move already?

[Anon_Girl27]

i know for a fact that me and this guy have a mutual interest in each other, and its been about a year since i really noticed that he was interested in me and vice versa. i only see him about once a week during church, which makes it really difficult to have things move faster.
even from across the room, we will lock eyes and the eye contact feels so intense and meaningful. we both go out of our way to get near each other and make small talk.
today we were in a rare scenario where we had a meetup outside of church with many of the regular attendees also there, and he came up to me while i was alone and he was definitely flirting.
So what can i do to get him to ask for my number? even in a sneaky/subtle way?
i give him all the hints he needs but im going crazy with how long its been going on!
(mid 20s F and he is an early 30s M)

[btbc92]

Instead of begging him, you need to do it since you want him that badly. I wouldn't encourage it especially since it seems like he is not that serious about you. I don't mean to sound mean or rude. But if somebody has to drive you nuts like that, that is just not healthy. You cannot get anybody to do anything. Either he wants something or he doesn't. It is possible he may do this with other women too. So be mindful of that with you chasing him for a year or more. If you are that serious with him, you are not a teen. You need nobody's permission but God's permission if you want the guy. Why be sneaky, and hide? If your a woman and he's a man, you both should be able to declare what you want in public and it is nobody's business what you do as long as your not dragging that in the church and to other people.

[Anon_Girl27]

i see what you're saying,.. The dynamic of the church is quite awkward, small and most are very nosy. I wouldn't want anyone there getting involved in my dating business, not to mention he is a quiet/shy type so that doesn't help it. thats why he was more bold outside of that setting. i would say we have both been subtly 'chasing' each other but neither of us are both enough to make the first move forward.

[btbc92]

Be careful with those types of guys. Shy people are shy. They aren't bold. They get jitters and often prefer to talk one on one if there is something they have to do. This is not a game. If you two are not serious, this has to stop. Just because others find out, it only starts getting out there if you two don't keep it amongst yourselves. Besides, if you cannot handle being out in publically dating, that is a sign it is not a good idea to pursue. You two aren't friends and barely even know each other. Your just strangers going to the same church. Until you develop that friendship, it could be just him potentially leading you on. A man who is serious starts pursuing. If he is not doing that, shy or not, they aren't serious. They want you to do it because again, he is the one who wears the skirt. It is you who would wear the pants and be disappointed. If he is treating you like that, this is how he will always treat you. You will always put in the work and he may not do much. I highly suggest you get into prayer and fasting if that is something you should do, talk to him and stop with the fantasy romance games. If you want something you have to get do something. It's as simple as that. Again, this is coming from a shy person. He is uncertain as you are. If you two are dating, that again is nobody's business. People will talk and people will gossip. The question is, is it smart for you to do so at all regardless what others think.

[btbc92]

They cannot get into your dating business if you don't advertise about your business or your life. It is not their business. I'm not here to judge, but I grow weary of such people, and men like that because they often shown to not be stable especially in their dating/romantic lives so they often react like this. Again, if he wanted to have something he would have done something. It shouldn't be taking a year or more. That is just you and him wasting time unless you two likes this kind of thing, where you live on highs and then when it gets low you have to be on highs again. That becomes taxing and unhealthy. Again, if curcumstances prevented that, I understand. But even then you find a way if that is what God commanded for your life. You need to make sure your not making a mistake by trying to get this guys attention. If he isn't doing anything both of you either needs to stop or one of you will grow cold and then that's it. It's manipulative on both ends. For the sake of your heart, I suggest you find out what he wants or stop before it hurts you in the end because you had all of these hopes in a person who again doesn't show what he actually wants. I can be shy myself but that is by choice because of lack of trust in people. But if I know somebody is looking for more, it is clear I need to be honest and not lead the person on. I know others won't think like that. But it is clear your situation will affect your relationships at church.

[AmandaYVR]

You ask him out. That's how to fix this.

[Anon_Girl27]

everyone says that but i think the guy should be man enough to do it if he's serious lol

[AmandaYVR]

You need to get over that archaic thinking.

95% of guys want this. Not just want, but need this. Because it's too risky nowadays for guys to do it all. They don't know what you want. They're afraid you'll get mad at them. They're shy. Sexual harassment fears. So many reasons.

Guys, do you like, or dislike, the idea of a girl asking you out? ↗

[MrOracle]

You might think you're giving him all the hints he needs, but trust me when I tell you that most guys are bad at picking up "hints" in general, and some guys are positively UNABLE to detect them even if you point right at them in real time. For a lot of guys, if you aren't beating him over the head with it, he won't notice. Or if he's shy or lacks self esteem, he'll notice, but he'll convince himself it's not really happening, or that it can't really mean what he wants it to mean, or whatever.

Clearly he likes you, so just take some initiative and next time you see him, just GIVE him a paper with your contact info on it, and tell him he should get in touch so that you can talk more.

[CindersFire]

I mean I can't tell you for sure but my go to suggestion is always towards the end of a converaation to ask the guy, "So are you ever going to ask me out?" Or in your situation you could try, "You know I've been waiting a year for you to ask me out right?" The first is still me preference as its playful while still making your intentions clear and not seeming desperate which the second can definitly come accross as too forward and needy.

[spartan55]

Your stupid hints aren't working, he has no idea you are interested.

[Mofunfour20]

Show him your value. Easy

[es20490446e]

Cook some cookies. It always works.

[Anon_Girl27]

what kind !

[es20490446e]

Chocolate with banana, or coconut :D

[In_Trance]

You can't. YOU make it