Why has literally every guy I’ve ever been with said this to me?

[Anonymous]

Whenever I try talking to a guy I’m with about how I can’t have a baby and how that’s the saddest thing to me in the whole world they always without fail say “Just because you can’t have babies doesn’t mean I won’t stop trying to get you pregnant” and I try to pretend it’s cute because that’s how they meant it but on the inside im just like what the fuck im telling you it’s a physical impossibility for me to ever get pregnant and there’s no medical treatment or anything and it breaks my heart to pieces literally every day and they’re just thinking about sex and telling me they’re still going to fuck me in a way that relates to what I’m opening up about. It really makes me sad that every guy I’ve been with said this. I don’t even want to talk about how much infertility hurts me with a guy now if he’s just going to start thinking about sex and telling me he’s going to fuck me. I wanted comforted and maybe told something that will give me hope instead I’m told I’m going to get fucked from now on I only talk to girl friends about this when I’m really sad and need someone to talk to. Why would a guy think I would like hearing the most painful subject of my entire life being related to how much he’s going to keep fucking me? Why?

[Anonymous]

Sounds like the "type" of guys you're with to me? But I think they mean well. Maybe you could say it in a different way? Such as your inside thoughts lol. More directly, like "I'm saddened by the fact that I can't physically have children". Or, make "peace" with it yourself and accept it so you don't have to share it? I don't mean that the way it might sound, I just mean, yes it's a sad thing for sure, but that's the reality and situation, it won't change, so you have to change your thinking by not focusing on it (and the negative). Think of the positives of it and focus on those instead. Like I say, guys mean well, and don't often think (very deeply) about what they say (obviously by these comments). We can't relate I don't think to what you're feeling, not on the same level (we get it, but I'm sure the feeling for women is very different?). They are being a bit insensitive you're right, but probably aren't thinking or realizing it when they say it. And not to defend them or the comments, but a lot of guys are uncomfortable with emotions as well and expressing them. So when you share that, a lot of guys probably don't know what to say or do but we naturally want to "fix it" for you, and we can't. You are just sharing your feelings and wanting comfort, but for a guy it can sometimes make him uncomfortable and he just doesn't know what to say or do. And especially if you aren't in a relationship with these guys, or it's early on.

[noohair]

You are complaining about normal male behavior. Water, Food, Shelter and then sex. Guys are simple. We might take showers but mentally our brain has not changed much since we lived in caves. I think they are trying to tell you that being infertile, will not make you any less less desirable as a woman to them but they are not able to make it sound sensitive. When a guy is infertile, it is very frightening on a very primal level and a huge blow to male ego. The male ego is as fragile as an egg and once broken is not very fixable. If you find someone that you can tolerate his flaws and he tolerates your flaws, that is a good match.

[TurningGraves]

They think they can replace your sadness with horniness.

Sadly, girls can be horny and sad all at the same time.

[Slotbot]

Met a girl like u n she spoke similar words.
A lot of anger for being deprived of her own baby n more anger to just everything to be honest.
She was a cheating whore that takes pleasure in making lots of relationships n then intentionally fucking everyone in and around them n spreading her vicious sadness anywhere she can.


I hope ur not like that.


I think she was upset I wouldn’t fuck her tho, but it wasn’t that I didn’t want to.
How fucked to be nervous n uncomfortable when it comes to chasin ladies n suffer from the condition that won’t allow sex untill a Comfortable relationship is formed.

[Inexpensivefurniture]

I'm so sorry, I can't even imagine how hard that must be. And then to have guys be insensitive and selfish in their response on top of that... It's terrible. I know this probably doesn't help but I don't their response was anything other than guys being dumb and trying to lighten the mood while not understanding actually made it worse

[t-8900]

Might not be the right guy. If I was in his shoes and you told me that I'd have held your hands, looked you in the eyes, and said "If it's God will that we won't be parents then so be it. I'm never going to stop loving you and I'll always be here for you."

[Andres77]

1. I'm sorry that's the hand you were dealt. I can't imagine but I feel for you.
2. Lots of guys are short sighted and selfish assholes. Maybe... wherever you're finding these low minded guys... stop. Look somewhere else. Date guys with some class and not low minded jerks.

That's all I can think of, date a little higher up the ladder. These guys don't deserve you.
And if you ever get treatment, if it's not successful there's always adoption.

[EaterPeter]

Sorry to hear that. What age range guys you date? Regardless most of us are sex minded we barely know how to listen, empathize and or validate someone's feeling. We hardly can process what she is trying to say. Remember Mr. Fix it hat. I know how to fix everything and you may say. You silly I just want you to listen to me. Please try not to fix.

[EaterPeter]

This is not fixable. This is one of my genuine concern.

[EaterPeter]

I get it you guys think about sex much more than us women, can't you please switch it off for a sec.

[EaterPeter]

Little less than an hour* once just for once for God's sake.

[DonkeyDan]

I can't ever imagine saying that to a women ever. I think there are a lot of people, not just men that have no idea how the human body works, or the human mind for that matter.

[Juxtapose]

Jesus what is wrong with you people? The world is overpopulated and you want to bring another maw into this world to be fed when people are starving already?

[Asker]

Well I mean you’re the sex designed to spread seed and I’m the sex designed to make babies so I understand how you wouldn’t get it

[Juxtapose]

Yeah but we can overcome our base instincts and use our heads.

Now is not the time to make more people. If anything we need less people if we want humanity to have a chance.

[Juxtapose]

Thanks for being understanding though, I was expecting a hostile response.

[Honesttguy]

They dont know how to respond on sadly important matters. So they respond in wrong way, no surprise, sorry for your situation

[spartan55]

Why are you bringing that up to every guy you talk to?

[Asker]

I’m bringing it up with guys I’ve dated they deserve to know I can’t give them children

[spartan55]

At what point are you bringing it up?

[Asker]

It depends my first boyfriend knew for a while and I was just trying to talk about it one day because I was sad and he said it then I told another guy pretty early and he said it right then

[spartan55]

Hmm, I don't know then. I'm sorry you have to go through that, I can't imagine how it must make you feel. I don't know why guys would say something so insensitive to you about it. The only thing I can think of is that guys don't always know what to say when they are given information like that. Humor? Avoid? Change the subject? Empathy is something that took me a long time to learn. It's pretty rare in younger guys.

[Browneye57]

Quit trying to be a victim. Seriously.
Guys just want sex. PERIOD. Trying to make a connection to your disability is just plain silly.

[Asker]

Why do guys care so much about sex?

[Browneye57]

It's the testosterone - the sex-drive hormone. They have some 15-25 times as much as you. It's just not a choice. If women could understand this it would be a game-changer. But unfortunately it is physically and literally impossible. So we get silly questions like this.

What IS surprising is this coming out of the mouth of a woman your age. Usually this comes from a 15yo. Perhaps you lied about your age and you're really twelve.

[Anonymous]

It's because they want to have sex with you odviously.