Why do people say a guys value increases as he ages and he becomes more attractive?

[Anonymous]

[MrOracle]

Men's SMV (social market value) is determined by women, and women's SMV is determined by men. And men and women value very different things!

Looks are a factor for everyone, there's no denying that. Very good-looking people have an advantage that the majority do not. And very unfortunate-looking people have a big disadvantage that most people do not. That should be obvious and straightforward to everyone, right?

So, let's look at the vast majority of people: we'll remove the top 10% and the bottom 10%, and just look at the 80% in the middle. Nearly everyone here is in this group.

Average SMV (social market value), by age and sex

Both of these curves on the graph have the same area under the curve - it's the exact same amount of value, just distributed differently.

Women have massive value early in their lives because, aside from looks, the primary factor that determines men's attraction towards women is FERTILITY. And women's fertility happens in the roughly 20 year period from about 15-35 (yes, I'm aware that some girls can get pregnant at 10, or at 40, but they're the exceptions to the rule). But there's also a time gap from the time a man meets a woman until she's going to be ready to have kids with him, and if they want several kids, she has to start even earlier. This is why age 30 is the lower cut-off - if a man gets with a woman much older than that, the chances of her being able to give him 2-3 kids is pretty low, especially when you consider that they will usually want to get engaged, get married, and have a bit of time together before they start having children.

Men begin life with minimal value - young men are largely considered expendable, which is one reason that young men are sent off to war: they don't (yet) have much value to society. In order for men to have value, men need to work to build STATUS - the primary factor (other than looks) that women look for in a man. With status comes income, resources, and security, but if you think about it, all of that really falls under status. And it takes time to build status - nothing is handed to men upon puberty - we have to go out and work for it. If you look at the graph, men's status in our teens and early 20s is abysmal - because we have minimal status. On average, we really start building status in our late 20s, and by 30 or so, we're usually starting to do pretty well, and we tend to peak in our mid-30s.

The problem for women is that, after age 30, her SMV will forever be lower than the man's value, and because men value FERTILITY (which can also be equated to YOUTH), and largely do NOT value STATUS, women can't make up for a lack of youth with degrees and careers and powerful positions - men just don't care about those things.

This is why I constantly recommend that women take advantage of their 20s, to find a solid "relationship guy" who is on track to do well for himself (this is NOT going to be a Top 10% guy, unless she's a 9.5+ herself and she's happy to be a traditional wife), and build a future with him, because after 30, her market value - and thus her partner options - are going to be FAR, FAR worse than when she was in her 20s.

[Kaamraj]

Two things are discussed here: value and attractiveness. Both are similar and dissimilar at the same time. A man's value in society has been traditionally defined by his socio-economic status. And unless you're born into wealth or have a trust fund, it takes time to learn skills, and experience and this make real money or have some gravitas in society. Men get absolutely nothing for free.

Now coming to aesthetic looks, there is no doubt that physical prime for both men and women are in their mid 20s. beyond which there are physiological chances including declining metabolism, degradation of collagen and sun damage causing wrinkles, male pattern balding, etc. However, men are not subject to the reproductive barrier which women face, to that drastic extent.

If you analyze studies regarding what age of the opposite sex do men and women most prefer, you'd see that as women age, they prefer men who are older than them, however, for men, it's almost exclusively women in their early to mid 20s.

So it's not that by default men become more valuable or attractive as they age, however they have the potential to, given they choose to put in the work.

[anykayd]

Just because you are most attracted to women in their early to mid 20s, it doesn't mean they will be attracted to you. I'm in my mid 20s and I have no plans on dating an ugly old man with wrinkles, white hairs, bald spot and weight gain. You would have to be out of your mind if you think men get more attention from women as they hit 40.

[anykayd]

[So it's not that by default men become more valuable or attractive as they age, however they have the potential to, given they choose to put in the work.]

There is no chance in hell you are gonna attract more women as you get older and uglier and wrinklier, unless you become a millionaire, which is probably not gonna happen. how many millionaires do you see walking around?

[Grownlady8]

I have always been attracted to guys that were always a few years older than me. I never found the ones my age had the mentality to be comfortable as a individual. As I've gotten older, I appreciate the older man for more than I did before. I find myself wanting to learn from the guy I'm involved with and as a goal focused individual, this is a non negotiatiable for me. He must be established, and goal oriented. Why would I want something different from what I bring, I just want him to be a bit older.. Most of those I've come across that were my age weren't hard workers which is a red flag...

[nella965]

On this website men on here think most women are attracted to men 10-30 years older than them, which is absolutely not true

[Grownlady8]

@nella965 Exactly! I haven't dated that much older than me. 6 years older was the oldest for me

[Tiptoetamm]

Same most if my exs are 10 plus years older than me

[nella965]

@Tiptoetamm

Most women date guys less than 10 years older. But in my opinion, more than 10 years older will cause dissatisfaction and compatibility issues years down the road

[Tiptoetamm]

I'm mature for my age and I end up taking care of him lol

[nella965]

@Tiptoetamm

One day you will feel more like a nurse than a wife.

[nella965]

@Tiptoetamm

You can’t grow old with someone who is already old.

[Tiptoetamm]

Then I'll go for younger men lol Haha

[nella965]

@Tiptoetamm

You don’t have to go for men younger than you. Just don’t go for men that are too much older such as 10+ years.

Research and statistics have proven that there’s more marriage dissatisfaction And divorces that occurs In huge age gap marriages. These marriages also tend to be more fragile and less resilient in times of financial distress.

[Tiptoetamm]

I'm kidding lol im just saying my preference will change over time right now im happy

[nella965]

@Tiptoetamm

Of course you’re happy dating men 15 years older right now. But chances are you won’t be happy with him by the time you’re 45 and he’s 60.

[Tiptoetamm]

I'm single now not looking for anything right now and as long as the person is healthy they can take care of themselves

[nella965]

@Tiptoetamm

Aging is something that you can’t Really control to a big extent. Much of it is determined by genes. My coworker is 61 and he struggles to walk due to a bad leg. My grandma is 82 and can walk faster than me, can cook clean on her own.

[nella965]

@Tiptoetamm

But all I’m saying is , by a certain age , you will find that you're still riding motorcycles while he can’t even keep up with you in a walk in the park, you would have to constantly slow down for him. During vacations , you want to travel to 3 countries while he will want a quiet cruise with his fellow retirees. He might not even be able to fulfill you sexually.

Things change and often times women don’t see it coming until it’s too late. And if you’re 45, with 3 kids , it’s hard to get remarried at that age. So often times these women stay in these difficult marriages

[Tiptoetamm]

I totally get what your saying, thanks hon

[Green96]

@nella965 I don't think that.
Healthylifestyle is the secret

[nella965]

@Green96

It’s not healthy life style that controls how you age. A big part of aging has to do with genes.

[nella965]

@Green96

Sure living healthy life style helps you age a bit better but it’s really not the biggest factor.

[Green96]

@nella965 I can do now 100 repetitions push- ups

When I was in my twenties, I couldn't do more than 15 repetitions

[nella965]

@Green96 you can do a hundred push ups but your energy levels might not be the same as when you were younger. Sure many people in 20s can’t do 100 push ups but they usually have more energy.

Safest thing to do is to marry someone not too much younger or not too much older.

[Tiptoetamm]

We get it hon every person and relationship is different just keep that in mind

[Green96]

@nella965 if you do not have good energy, you can't do 100 pushups
The point is, if you work out, you'll still be energitic even if you're old.
In my twenties, I was lazy and do not work out so I did not have the energy to do 100 pushups

[nella965]

@Green96

You can do 100 push ups but it doesn’t mean you will be fast and quick and full of energy bouncing off the walls on a regular basis. My grandma is 82 and she can walk faster than me but do you think she is jumpy and fun as me all day long? no

[nella965]

@Tiptoetamm

Most people won’t be happy in a marriage like that. You would have to be a very unique person to be able to be happy in a marriage like that. Same as online dating , most people can’t handle it. Sure some can, but not many.

Just don’t get yourself into something you’ll regret later on.

[Anonymous]

The ugly old men I constantly come into contact with would beg to differ. I'd rather settle down with a young hot guy in computer science than a geriatric old prune who thinks I'll be his certified nursing assistant. I'm not sacrificing my youth for an uncle/grandpa.

And for the desperate, insecure girls in the comment section claiming men physically get better with age, seek professional help. You guys aren't attractive enough for guys your age. So you delude yourself into thinking sagging wrinkled prediabetic balls are sexy🤮

[NicoletteXO]

OMG this made me laugh so hard. "Prediabetic balls" omg LMAO.

[anykayd]

@NicoletteXO

omg the first sane girl I've ever met on here. I completely agree with you 100%.

[tatianamay]

OMG you had me laughing soo hard! 😂

[Hispanic-Cool-Guy]

Oh my 😂😂😂

[user1516]

No I agree with you sis! I’d never bat an eye at a guy older than 29. Unless he was Sebastian Stan then maybe but 💀💀💀.

[Browneye57]

Men mature much later than women - hell a guy's brain doesn't even fully form till about 25. So he's in no place to be making any live-changing decisions till after that.

A woman's SMV peaks about 22-23. Youth and beauty are a woman's greatest assets.
A man's SMV peaks about 34-36 - he's grown into a real man, his looks have matured, he's smarter and more capable, and his financial status comes into play in his value.

A 40yo guy that has maintained his physique, is pulling down some bucks, is reasonably good looking, and has any game, can pull women in the dating pool from age 25 to 55. Pretty much the entire age-range for available women. But really, why would this guy take a 50 of he can get a 30? Does that make any sense at all?

You need three things to get the ladies:
Looks
Money
Confidence. Irrational confidence.
You can get by with any two of these, but all three is key to knocking them down. So hit the gym HARD, and make a shit-ton of dough, you'll gain the confidence you need through the effort, and you'll have all the pussy you can stand - I guarantee it.

[nice-girl]

I think everyone's value increases with age because of experience. As for becoming more attractive, I think this is true too. Everyone who feels good with himself and has inner peace in life is more attractive. I am not talking about looks here as I don't consider it important. Being healthier is mentally and physically is what makes someone attractive.

[VanillaSalt]

I think your right about this it takes time to come into yourself and the longer you spend the more refined you are. True for both men and women and women highly value this refinement but men tend to value youth, beauty, and fertility and women don’t like to hear this truth so it tend to bother older women particularly because the men they want don’t want them they want the younger women wether they can get em or not.

I’m curious what you think of this take.

[nice-girl]

@VanillaSalt This is just a fact of life and if men say that they value youth and beauty I believe them. This might bother some women, but we have to do the best with what we have and control what we can control. As a woman I can confirm that I like older men better (I mean older than me). I also shared my opinion on a similar question: Why is a woman degraded for being 30 and over? What makes 30 so unattractive for her? ↗

[VanillaSalt]

Oh I’ll have to check that question out lol. It’s funny how hard perspective makes it to see the obvious. How do you copy paste links to questions?

[nice-girl]

@VanillaSalt just copy the link and paste it

[VanillaSalt]

Odd it don’t do that for me.

[anykayd]

@VanillaSalt

why would it matter if men tend to value youth, if youthful young women aren't attracted to wrinkling, saggy, old guys with huge bald spots? do you really think you can get someone attractive if you look like shit?

[VanillaSalt]

Ignore this woman nice she’s got a thing about old guys being comfortable about how they look lmao

Also the same way of describing them too.

[anykayd]

@VanillaSalt

Believing that you look sexy gaining weight , losing hair , growing wrinkles, won't actually make you look sexy. It will just make girls not want to look at you, especially the young hot 18 yr olds that you're so desperately trying to get with.

do u think hot girls go for hot guys in their prime, not some old fat uncle who thinks he's sexier as he approaches 60

[anykayd]

@VanillaSalt Just give yourself another 10 years and see what your dating game will be like.

[anykayd]

@VanillaSalt

[Ignore this woman nice she’s got a thing about old guys being comfortable about how they look lmao]

riiight... you should get more comfortable with the way you look , as you get fatter, wrinklier , balder and saggier

[VanillaSalt]

You always say the same thing it’s annoying I’m blocking you.

[anykayd]

@VanillaSalt you clearly don't have a dating life if you think you get sexier as you get older.

[bamesjond0069]

Wrinkles and gray hair are signs of loss of fertility for women so they detract. But those things can be hot for girls because they are signs of possibly wealth wisdom maturity in men.

I am 34 and just this year have been getting significant gray hair finally. So many girls hit on me specifically mentioning how they like my gray hair. My girlfriend who just turned 19 loves the gray hair and says it makes me look distinguished.

Yet gray on a woman means dried up babymaker. Not attractive for a new wife. Just saying.

[Curiousnesshmmm]

Well I know as I’m now in my late 30’s I do t care how attractive a gitl is if they’re annoying and just a problem I’m not putting up with it where I see younger guys letting super attractive giyls get away with nursed just because they think it might get them laid. I think that’s part of the problem these super attractive giyls are some of the most annoying people I’ve ever met in my life. All I want know is a girl that’s a real friend and I’m attracted too. Problem is at my age a lot of those awesome girls that are cute are snatched up quick. I feel like I’m never going to find someone a lot of times now even though before I never had a problem getting any female I wanted. Things change as a guy when we get older

[doopayo]

That is the very rare case, I think the best age for a guy is his 30s and 40s cause you have figured out life kind of and have somewhat of a stable life so maybe that’s why. But the guy in the picture is a model so I’m guessing he pays more attention to his looks and grooming than the average male which is why he looks so good at his age.

[nella965]

Men in their 40s are significantly less attractive than men in their 30s. This is why overwhelming majority of men are married with kids before 40

[doopayo]

Yeah true, 40s and late 30s is usually when balding and wrinkles show up. I just mean maturity wise and I think if the average man took care of his grooming he could look good past their 20s

[Anonymous]

This is something not talked about much in my opinion. A guy's feeling or man's feelings is often tossed aside, no one really cares, a guy's friends often don't care but the case for women and girls is much different where more people will care. That's is no knock on women or girls. But I think even girl's don't truly understand that a guy by age 25 or 30 may have gone through a lot of bullshit himself with bad friends, bad influences, an absent father, constant rejections, told he's not good enough and etc. Thos experiences can either shape you or break you. Those who are shaped by those experiences and persevere become more confident and confidence is a sexy straight in a woman's eyes. I think that's part of the reason why as males age they are seen as more attractive. Even gaining more knowledge but using that knowledge in healthy way of expressing different opinions and theories can be seen as attractive as well.

[Opinion Owner]

To the girls who disliked my post I find it humorous as a guy I can't give my input about guys/men. Apparently I'm wrong if a man who gets older is humble with the knowledge he gains or gains more experience through rejections and life's difficulties. If a woman dislikes my comment that goes to show that in a female's eyes a guys feelings don't matter. I guess you have extremely butt hurt immature girls on GAG who are still scorned by some doofus back in 2004. Also girls, I'm allowed to give my input about this, I don't follow a billion ideologies like y'all of trying to fit in or feel relevant with what feminism has taught you. I've seen hardcore White feminists get mad at Muslim girls for wearing the hijab, yet feminism predicates on "unity". What I said in my post above isn't wrong, girls/women do look at confidence as an attractive trait... Unless I'm wrong I guess all females want to marry spineless, nutless wimps in life. Also girls, I don't give my input on abortion, periods or pregnancies in a rude manner whether online or in person because I do have some level of respect for the opposite sex. However, in 2021, it's clear girls don't seem to have much for guys.

[Anonymous]

Because guys make the most money in their lifetime when they are older, therefore, becoming more attractive to women.

The examples of this is always some man who hit the genes lottery or some rich guy. The regular average everyday over 50 year old is never used as the example. You're either going to have senior model looks or going to be rich enough to take care of women.

[Anonymous]

Polling and statistics.
Women's attractiveness peaks higher and earlier, then there's a crossover point where men's average attractiveness increasing while women's is decreasing (around 28), then around 32 men peak and their average attractiveness goes into decline at a similar rate -- so men are seen on average as having higher attractiveness after about 28, but the decline is *absolute* value stays the same. So if we compare relative values, as both men and women diminish in attractiveness, the relative attractiveness of men to women *effectively* goes up for men.

[Rachelspiks]

Who says that? I've never heard anyone say it. No one becomes more attractive as they age, because as a person gets older their appearance deteriorates, as does their health. Grey hair and wrinkles are not attractive.

[Renegade_Sailor]

Men aquire wealth and status with time.

If a man makes good choices he is living the good life by 35-45.

A man can still get a woman pregnant into his elder years.

For women it is backwards, a woman has the value at the age of 16 that she will have in the sexual market place, and it slowly diminses as her fertility runs out.

[Wester1967]

Because when a guy gets over 50, he knows all the moves in the game, and has been beaten down by ruthless women so long that thee is almost zero interest. Women love that challenge, plus the money is in order, plus he’ll be dead soon and she can pick up his inheritance. Real win win for them if you know how the game is played

[jamesgoldman]

Compound interest
My associates are far richer the older they get
My friend is 26 and worth a few million, his dad is 53 and worth 20million
The guy I know from my restaurant days is 42 and worth 10million, his dad is 67 and worth 50million

It's not exclusive to the men as my antique dealer passed away a couple of years ago with 70-75million to her name at the age of 89

[SynthKobra]

Because as a guy works on his finances and health he gains a lot of value as a man. I think a lot of mens lives don’t start until their 30s (assuming they work hard, take care of themselves and never settle). Same goes with women. The problem is most people are lazy and start to feel it in their 30s onward - hell even their mid 20s. Young is a state of mind.

[NicoletteXO]

ALL people's value increases as they get older, if they live a life of integrity.

ALL people's value decreases with age, if they live a life out of integrity.

It's that simple. The rest is dogma.

[pleasestopthis]

Because they become more experienced and wiser as they get older and that gives them a certain allure. A lot of young guys are super immature and overall dunderheaded

[Tiptoetamm]

I've always been attracted to guys older than me, they are more experienced, not shy about what they want and will take it. Not to mention that they know how to dress and represent themselves in public.

[Grubhub]

Any age of man can be shy

[Tiptoetamm]

True but most of then know what that want and go for it

[EssenceOfLight]

A 20yo. guy is sexually always more attractive than an 40yo. However there are some things like social status, wealth, experience in matter of social competency... etc, in which older men outperform younger guys. Plenty of girls value those things a lot.

[bamesjond0069]

Not really. Many girls realize sex is a skill. A 40 year old man who fucked all the girls and leaves them chatting to their friends how good it was is sexually more attractive than a 20 year old virgin. For some reason id say like 90% of men have almost no sexual skill. Its pretty lame.

[EssenceOfLight]

I don't think it's really a sex skill problem. Older women who have some social status, money and things like men in their age prefer boys in early twenties as sex partner.
20 yo. girls start to think more practical about their partner choice after their first broken teen love. Teen love is lust based and probably only one true love your had in your life without any other interests.
Of course there are always exception but they are just the controlling group that doesn't act according to main rule.

[bamesjond0069]

I think you are watching too many pool boy pornos. Lol.

[EssenceOfLight]

Well, I came with arguments and you came with shitty ad hominem this disqualifies you as credible person for a discussion.
However it's not a private chat hence I add something for others who read this tread.
Being good in bed demands good physical constitution, endurance and a little bit creativity that is inborn. Old lard sack isn't the kind of sex partner girls want.
Don't tell me majority of 40+ men are in better physical shape then 20 yo. boys.

[bamesjond0069]

"Arguments" you mean baseless assertions? "prefer boys in early twenties" lmao. Yeah all these 40 and 50 year old women with 20 year old boyfriends... thats actually not very common at all outside of porn story lines.

"Don't tell me majority of 40+ men are in better physical shape then 20 yo. boys." If you think thats what makes good sex then you must be falling woefully short in the bedroom. Women are primarily aroused in their mind through emotional desire.

[EssenceOfLight]

Yeah, "emotional desire" for your rancid butt

[bamesjond0069]

Well, I came with arguments and you came with shitty ad hominem this disqualifies you as credible person for a discussion.

[Paul09]

You live you learn and you advance. Instead of giving up and not doing anything about anything. No offense à lot of women who bare children give up on their health. Even sone fathers. Which is very odd to me. If I had kids it would be the best excuse to be fit and healthy. And you know, monkey see, monkey do. You don't care about yourself, your kids may follow by example.

[m33lad]

Because not all of course but most men as they age they experience women as they get more experience with women they become more knowledgeable at the same time their wealth increases at the same time the power increases at the same time they become more powerful make more friends make more connections and sometimes these type of men have better bodies.


And women like alpha men who don’t need their validations to do something!

[aliali8]

reality is, older guys get less physically attractive with age too. But unless this ugly old guy is a wealthy millionare, he usually wouldn't be attracting any women at all.