Tis my life. Being sex harassed by multiple guys at work. I dont feel like hr will do anything. Its a toxic culture. What do I do?

[Anonymous]

I feel hopeless and helpless. I am poor so dont say find a new job. If it was that simple dont you think id did that?

This has honestly come between my faith and me. I spent th past year or more wondering if im so sexy cuz guys harass me. Or if all the guys like me.

[SueShe]

If you believe you are sexually harassed by co-workers and that HR is not willing to intervene, then I would suggest you do the following.

1. Record every single event, including time, person harassing you, type of harassment. The best is to record the events using your smartphone integrated camera and a voice recorder. Keep a dark tape over the red button indicating that a recording is in progress and keep the camera inconspicuous.

2. If you work in a larger company, take your complaint directly directly to upper management for their action.

2. If this step does not have any effect or if you feel you are mobbed, take your case, including your evidence to a free legal advice office.

The consequence for you will most likely be that you will lose your job but you should never leave any sexual harassment/assault unpunished.

You can also try to contact the media and have your story published anonymously without naming the company involved. Those that will read the article will recognize themselves immediately. Good luck.

[Asker]

Thanks for the advice and realizing i would be fired.

[Anonymous]

do you happen to have evidences of any sort?
Not judging you, but just inquisitive because they always come in handy. If not, then maybe you should buy those pens with cam and recorder so that you can record their actions as many as possible. While doing that, always respond them with their name. Even if you have a word with HR record them. When those guys are around you, keep your voice memo on and your facing the desk. And pleaaaaase if you decide to go with this idea then please be super confidential about it. No ones really a friend at work place.
I hope God happens to send someone to bust those morally corrupted assholes!
Hold yourself together and take care! You can’t let these issues take away your peace of mind. 💚

[Asker]

Thank you 💕 i have to try to stay positive and lighthearted and tell them i am not interested.

[Asker]

Maybe i need to tell them i dont want them in any way because i have been shy to say that.

[Opinion Owner]

I always tell people I have a boyfriend or a fiancé or whatever works for me. We live together and stuff like that. I know it’s a lot of lies but people just don’t back off, despite being told that you are engaged or something but at-least when you tell them you aren’t single, they give up to a level.
Just a piece of advise, never date anyone at workplace. Might seem like a good idea but never is! Also, whether you are happy or not at your workplace, always keep looking looking for jobs.
Take care! 💚

[Asker]

Thank you 💖

[boggboss]

If u feel hr won't do anything about it and u can't get a new job thats pretty much all u can do

[boggboss]

There is literally no other choice you are not the reason u are being harrased they are it dont matter how you are dressing at this point they are doing somthing that is illegal if the proper means to report them won't work there is no other choice but to get a new job which u said I can't do or tough it out

[Asker]

Yeah im asking advice to "tough it out"... That actually works. Maybe i need some womens help. They would get where im coming from

[boggboss]

There is literally no other choice you are not the reason u are being harrased they are it dont matter how you are dressing at this point they are doing somthing that is illegal if the proper means to report them won't work there is no other choice but to get a new job which u said I can't do or tough it out most the women that have answered this question in the past have said to go to her as toughing it out is never going to be easy will essentially be u ignoring them as interacting with them will just encourage them to do it more

[Asker]

I tried ignoring them. It never works out. I always end up with them harassing me again. One person did say to tell them im not interested and not available for their parties or when they tell me i need to go cook for them or whatever. Becauae i didn't try that. I never reject them plainly cause i feel it would hurt their feelings I don't know. But maybe i need to try that first so they know im NOT interested. Instead of assuming i am secretly interested?

[es20490446e]

https://youtu.be/JEC7PZFuVMo

[Asker]

So simple. thank you i should try this
I usually just feel bad rejecting anyone

[es20490446e]

By rejecting that kind of behavior you are making them a favor.

[Asker]

True. Its good for them.

[Asker]

Maybe i need to think of the good of others before my own feelings/fears

[es20490446e]

The pain of the rejection makes them a favor. It makes explicit to them that the sole path to resolution is them changing their behavior, and have basic human respect.

There's no other way. You don't even need to convey it in a dramatic or aggressive way, you can simply say "sorry, but I don't agree with what you are saying", "sorry, but I'm not interested in that". Without further discussion.

[es20490446e]

@I9653378 You are welcome ;)

[tatianamay]

You can change companies. Listen, learn as much as possible from this job. Gain experience, acquire new skills and knowledge. Do you have a degree?

[tatianamay]

@I9653378 You're the asker?

[tatianamay]

What degree do you have?

[tatianamay]

@I9653378 Okay, if it is a business degree, then you can get jobs in companies very easily. What do those guys do? You don't "feel" like the HR won't do anything, or you reported them to the HR and the HR didn't do anything?

[tatianamay]

@I9653378 Well, you can't know for sure if you dont ask them right? Report those men to the HR

[OddBeMe]

Unfort company cultures can be really unhealthy. The key is having enough skills to be in demand

[Asker]

Uhh okay. How does that help me

[OddBeMe]

Get skills and have your pick of employers.

[Asker]

Thats not helpful.

[OddBeMe]

You can’t change your company culture. But you can change companies.

[Sigrid17]

Of you can, find another job

[SHREYASH007]

Change the company, join a corporate.

[Asker]

Whats corporate?

[Asker]

Like where they wear business suits and work in an office on computers?

[SHREYASH007]

A company with a corporation based structure where ownership can be public or private basically a big company not a single owner who can do whatever he wants, generally corporates have strict POSH RULES, PREVENTION OF SEXUAL HARRASSMENT, ex Google, amazon, Walmart, BMW etc etc all companies which have a proper corporate structure with policies for safer workplace.

[SHREYASH007]

If you want you can dm me

[Jmmmfi4]

How do they harass you

[Anonymous]

Why do you think they harass you?

[Asker]

I spent 2 years until today asking this question. A girl shouldn't have to wonder if she's sexy

[Asker]

I dont want to be sexy or seen that way. I am Christian and want to be celibate until marriage.