We had sex and he kicked me out of his house afterwards?

[Anonymous]

Met this guy on a dating app, we had 3 dates and ended up at his house having sex on the 4th date. After the deed was done, he told me to pick up my stuff as he was going to take me back to my car.

It was really late at night already and I was drowsy to drive, he didn't care to know if I was ok to drive back to mine, neither he asked me if I arrived safe. He just texted me next day asking if I enjoyed it and haven't heard back from him since.

I guess sex was all he wanted, but why the need to kick me out of his bed and his house like that?

I wasn't expecting to sleep together and cuddling and etc, but kicking me out like that I think it was really rude and would like to hear a guy's perspective. Thank you!

[Kaamraj]

Well, you're right, all he wanted was sex, and he was probably angry that you made him wait till the fourth date to get it. And he didn't want you to spend the night at his house. If it were me than I would have waited till next morning or not have so many drinks, or at least call an Uber for you.

[Asker]

The only thing he did was driving me back to my car that was parked like 5 minutes from his house.

[Kaamraj]

At least he did that.

[Asker]

That doesn't take anything from the situation. I still had to drive back 30 minutes to my house at 2am, feeling very drowsy.

[Honesttguy]

How could you not see it coming, having so many dates already, plenty of time to get to know him right? My suggestion improve your reading skills search bodylanguage and lesrn more. Gonna save yourself from more bad situations in future cus right now jezz you got yourself in bad situation girl. Its all on you 100%

[Asker]

No I did not see that coming.

[Honesttguy]

Is that first time for you? Where something happens that you didn't see coming?

[Asker]

Of course I felt he was too casual for someone who is interested in a relationship, like didn't ask deeper questions about me and other things. But I wasn't attached to any outcome, if we have sex and nothing else develops fine, if we continue dating, fine too.

But he didn't treat me badly ever before, for me to think he would kick me out of his bed and house after sex at 1am.

[PeacefulRainDrop]

All he wanted was sex... This is why the first date or even before you meet a guy you ask him.. What he's looking for? he's used to treating women that way.. consider yourself lucky your not still in love with him... not everyone has a kind heart like you!

[whirled_up_girl]

So did he act decent before this? If it seemed like it, do you think he was just playing you? Either way, it sucks, sorry you had to experience that.

[Asker]

We had normal dates before this. Even on the night we had sex, we talked a lot, he even opened up about himself and some personal stuff (even when he was driving me back to my car).

But after the second date he did make some sexual innuendos to try me out, but I didn't respond to that. So I guess that yes sex was all he wanted.

[MrCommodore]

How much time between the 4 dates?

And were you hoping for just casual sex or maybe something more?

It seems like he used you for sex, but I asked the above questions to better understand why he behaved that way.

[Asker]

It was around 3 weeks between the 4 dates, so it wasn't exactly a one night stand.

I was going with the flow to be honest. I felt ready to have sex with him, but I wasn't expecting any specific outcome. If we continued dating afterwards fine, if we don't see each ither again, fine too.

But I was expecting a nice experience regardless. Wasn't expected to be treated like he did.

[MrCommodore]

What age is the guy?

Its very strange behaviour, like I don't know many guys who would do that to any woman, particularly not if already out on a few dates before.

How long has it been since this happened? Was he texting a lot before you had sex?

[Asker]

He is 40.

This happened Last Friday, on Saturday morning he sent me a text asking if I enjoyed it, he said he liked it, and then silent all these past days, although he checks my Instagram stories every day and clicks like on my posts.

We were not texting heavily before, but we were in touch in between dates.

[MrCommodore]

Really strange behaviour for a 40 year old guy, it's like he had an urge to have sex with a particular girl and move on. This is something more commonly seen with younger immature guys.

[MrCommodore]

He may still message you and arrange another date, but just be clear with him about what you are after and what you expect before having sex again. Like don't have sex and let him kick you afterwards.

[Asker]

From what I hear it's common behaviour for many men at all ages, when they are emotionally unavailable. They are only open to sex and as soon as sex ends, goodbye. Still, many don't treat a woman like he does.

I am not going to go on another date with him. He had ONE chance with me. I have enough self-love and respect to not meet again a guy who kicks me out of his house after sex at 1am without a care. He blew it completely with me.

[MrCommodore]

Yeah it was definitely a horible shitty thing to do, but you have the right attitude and there are plenty more fish in the sea.

[Asker]

If he contacts me again, I'll be always busy... dating other guys. And he will never know the real reason he won't see me ever again.

[MrOracle]

I've never done that and I can't see myself ever doing that unless the girl was absolutely awful to me in some way - which I've never experienced at that point, because I screen girls better than that. I *prefer* that she says. But some guys are extremely narcissistic and once they're done with you, they're DONE WITH YOU. They typically only care about their own wants and needs, and they get away with it because they're typically good-looking, confident, and popular.

[Asker]

Yes this guy is good looking.

[MrOracle]

Sounds about right.

[MrOracle]

If you go after a top 10% guy, you're going to get used for casual sex every time. And tomorrow he'll have a different girl, and the day after that, a different girl.

[Asker]

Not all good looking men are like that.

[MrOracle]

But nearly all of the really good-looking guys are.

[Asker]

Ok but I know really good looking guys who actually have a heart and a brain.

[EmmaMary]

Congratulations on fucking a First Class Player.

[Asker]

I don't even think he was a player. He is just an asshole.

[EmmaMary]

I couldn't agree more with you.

[boggboss]

Because if he only wanted sex why would he want u in his house after u was dating a asshole

[Asker]

I get that, but no need to kick the person out of the house right afterwards like he did. You can have Casual Sex and still be a decent human being.

[boggboss]

But this is what I'm getting out yes he can still be decent but what else did u think was going to happen he wanted to chill after having sex and you are in his space he didn't want you there so...

[Asker]

Still no need to treat the other person like a hooker you kick out as soon as the deed is done.

[boggboss]

But if all he wanted was sex and u gone what would u have preferred

[Asker]

I would have preferred to not be treated like that. I've had casual sex before but never had a guy doing this. This is not about the sex or "chillin afterwards", is about being an asshole.

[boggboss]

Again I'm admiting that he is a asshole but thats something he clearly don't care about he knows it was shitty to do it or he dont care thats why I'm saying I'm not sure what u expected

[Asker]

I wasn't expecting anything in specific, this haver happened before in my life but for sure I wasn't expecting to be kicked out like that!

[boggboss]

Well fair enough I guess

[Jlegacy]

Watched a film where the guy was exactly like this. The reason was that the house he used to bed girls wasn't his. The money he flaunted wasn't his.

You should know there are wickedly crazy people online.
Personally I recommend you drop hook up apps.

[Asker]

I know people who met and got married on those apps. The problem here was I didn't know him well enough before we got intimate.

[Jlegacy]

Imagine a bucket filled with ugly pearls and one or two precious ones. Then imagine a bucket filled with precious pearls and one or two bad ones.

Which of the two buckets would almost always give you a good pearl?

Dating sites and tinder are like the bucket with plenty ugly pearls.

I bet it is different in your country though as I doubt guys can approach girls like they do in mine. So I get.

A man that can have sex with you without marrying you first, can rape, maim or kill you. As all of these stem from lack of self control.

I have nothing to advice other than, follow your heart and what you feel right now and seek out ways to prevent this from happening. I recommend, God.

[Asker]

I had a bad break-up nearly two years ago and was alone for a long time to head from it. A couple of months ago I decided I want to try something casual as to put my feet in the water again and as I didn't feel ready for a relationship yet.

So met this guy and was attracted to him and decided to give it a go and have sex with him without being attached to the outcome. So I guess that was my mistake. I didn't get to know him well enough because I wasn't attached to any outcome.

So the issue wasn't Tinder or any app, it was me who just didn't know him. This experience helped me realise I do want and am ready for a relationship now, so I'll take dating more seriously now and be more careful.

[Jlegacy]

I get you clearly now. I had sex with a hooker once. I made her noodles. I talked with her. I treated her good and would have paid her even if we didn't have sex. I'm sure she thought I had the mind of continuing the relationship.

As soon as the sun came up and we departed, I let her go. Didn't even take her number. My reason was, I didn't want to be that guy and hence I was cold to her.

Many guys are like that too. Wam bam thank you mam because they want to be better. And there are also guys who have been treated wrong by the female gender and hence use every opportunity to break their hearts or spirit.

Yes be careful. I wish you the best.

[Asker]

Thank you for sharing your experience! Yes I have my eyes open now and want a serious relationship, so any guy making sexual innuendos or talking about sex on the first dates is a red flag.

[Jlegacy]

I'm glad you know you deserve better. You should also know that some of these guys can be stealth. They would give no sign at all of being sexual predators. You'd only find out after they have hit their mark.

You should prepare for these too. I wish you the best.

[Anonymous]

Been there. I was 22 and experimenting after my dad died. Anyway. Drove an hour to see him. Older guy in his late 50s. He was naked when I walked in. Insisted I give him blowjob right away because he "needs it's right now, so damn bad." Almost 10 minutes and no real warning cums, in my mouth then almost immediately he got up and walked me to the door and said thanks bud i need that. while guiding/ pushing me out his front door.

[Asker]

OMG! That is a traumatizing experience! :O

[Opinion Owner]

Yeah. But I did go back a few months later when he texted me. Same thing pretty much happened. But in my defense it was a really big and pretty dick and lots of reward

[Asker]

No dick is worth lack of respect.

[Nazgol]

He saw it nothing as more than just sex. You can't change people. If he decided to be like that he will. Don't expect anything too great if there's no commitment

[Not_a_baddie]

He only wanted to have sex you. So rude of him to treat you that way by the way!!

[SofiSin667]

Well, how you present yourself is how you’re going to be treated.

[Asker]

What do you mean?

[Azura_88]

He is an asshole and literally used you like a toilet paper for wiping his shit and then threw you away.

[Anonymous]

Whattt's the issue? He saw you as a cheap no-fee prostitute. Nothing more, nothing less. Men don't keep prostitutes in the house after either.

[Caliguy88]

My roommate out of college had a pretty healthy sex life. He’d kick girls out sometimes just to sleep and sometimes he’s have another girl walk in and have sex with her within minutes of the first.

[PinkPeach]

Maybe the sex was bad or he used you. Could also be 1000 other reasons.

[Anonymous]

A lot of guys end up using women like that, i assume you've been sexually active since your teens

[Asker]

The thing is, he didn't use me. We were both attracted to each other and wanted to have sex. I used him as much as he used me then. That doesn't mean you have to treat the other person like he did afterwards.

[TrueConfection]

Maybe his wife works the graveyard shift.

[Wise4myage]

Correct, sex was all he was after.

[Gwenhwyfar]

He’s an asshole

[PeterCharie1991]

Was rude i admit that

[magiusX26]

welcome to the player into "the long con".

[Asker]

What's "the long con"?

[magiusX26]

faking something for a long time to reach what ever reward/goal is being sought after. in this case, sex with you was the guy's goal. he got it and dumped you. most players do not go for the long con (multiple dates in this case) . this guy did. have heard of guys going so far as to propose just to get some certain someone into bed for sex, though last time i heard of it happening was decades ago. most will only do one or 2 dates before moving on, whether or not they get the nookie.

[magiusX26]

though the fact am having to explain that tells me you are either not the age shown, extremely naive, a bit mentally dense, or a combination of the above. the term long con is pretty easy to undetstand.

long as in opposite of short (time in this case)

con = conartist or trick/fake/lie/ruse

[Asker]

I understand what you are saying, I just didn't know what "long con" was, I usually use the term PUA (as in pick-up artist).

I don't know why this guy decided to go on multiple dates to have sex, maybe he has a lot of patience and time on his hands. Anyway, is done and dusted.

[Anonymous]

Rude, sure. That's what player types are like.

[888theGreat]

you chicks will learn some day

[TheFlak38]

no man wants to keep a whore in his house.

[Asker]

I don't see why I am a whore for having sex with him on our 4th date. Just because he treated me like a whore doesn't mean I am one.

[TheFlak38]

ok. Im sure you're a princess