Am I really the side chick here?

Question

1. Me and him just talk to each other as friends and hangout as friends. He’s never made a move on me or made it blatantly obvious that he likes me.

2. He was the one who initiated all the phone calls and texts with me and I just like hanging out with him a lot.

3. We never had sex or kissed

4. I never knew he had a girlfriend when we first met. He never mentioned her and only told me he’s friends with benefits with someone.

But his stupid girlfriend and her friends are accusing me of being a side chick. And thinking he was using me as a “back up.” #Wtf?

SkyCastle90 · Accepted Answer

You're not a side chick yet. Basically, the guy has a crush on you, omitting truth about his relationship status, and laying the groundwork to get you to like him romantically. He's basically gearing up to monkey branch from his current relationship to a relationship with you or cheat.

Stay focus. Don't get mad at the girlfriend, or take this personally. The facts are:

1. Your friend is a liar. Lying by omission is still lying. He called his girlfriend as friends with benefits, and made himself seem as if he's single.
2. Your friend is a terrible boyfriend/person. Every hour or so spent with you, is time taken away from his girlfriend. Instead of ending it like an adult, he chooses to emotionally torment his partner by seeking another person while still in a committed relationship (and lying about it), thus resulting into this emotional explosion you're caught in. That's definitely not boyfriend material, or even friendship material.
3. Empathize with the girlfriend. In her mind, she's losing him to another girl and instead of confronting him (she probably already tried and he denied it) she's aiming to sabotage it at the source by making herself known to you so you stop whatever she thinks you two may have. You have to realize this girl has no idea what's going on, just like how you never knew of her existence until recently; so she's running purely on hurt feelings.

Reach out to the girlfriend. If she wants to talk shit, let her, because what do you have to prove? What do you have to be angry about? You didn't sleep with him, or kiss him; you're not in the wrong. So don't react in a negative way or feel disrespected, because it's not about you; it's about him. Be a friend to her, and give her the facts to help her out:

A. Called her a friends with benefits.
B. Never told you he was in a relationship
C. Is always the one contacting you.

From here, it's up to you whether you want to stay friends with this guy.

Aerissa_Jade · Accepted Answer

I would not say you are the side chick as your not doing anything sexual or romantic with him. It is possible he wanted to just be friends and nothing more, but more likely he was befriending you as backup.

Unfortunately your caught in the middle between him and them, try to find a way to bow out nicely, until things calm down.

Guys don't always tell you the truth, I've been confronted by angry wives for being with their husbands when I had no idea the guy wasn't single... it really sucks.

SAMI_DABBAB · Accepted Answer

Doesn't look like you're one although he could've made things clear to his girlfriend, this accusation is his fault for not being able to explain what everyone's place is

AviatorTom · Accepted Answer

Why do you care what they say? If you're happy with him being your friend, that's what's important.

TwinkleLily5 · Answer

This happened to me as well, No you are not a side chick because your intentions were pure and you were hanging out with him as just a friend. To his girlfriend any unrelated female hanging with her boyfriend is a threat so of course they will see you as a side chick. You’re not in the relationship and the responsibility of respecting his girlfriend falls on him. You can talk to who ever you want but if I were you I would stay a way from a guy like that who lies about his relationship status.

LightOfTruth · Answer

lol laying the ground to like you, is literally a side chick. It’s called grooming in big people terms. He is setting you up to make sure he has a shot before dumping or getting bumped by his current girlfriend. He is a bitch simp for doing so. A real man would pick one before this ever happened instead he is playing it safe. Don’t listen to chicks when it comes to the mind of a man!

Stay away from this loser. If he can do this to jump safely to you he will be more likely to do it again if his opinions get better. It’s like dating a girl so you can get in good with her best friend.

Anonymous · Answer

Lol you think that is a side chick? Oh honey
Don't let his insecure girlfriend get to you. If you want, sit down like two women and let her know you and him a solely friends. If the guy still wants to be your friend then that is his choice. Don't feel bad or get caught up in her insecurity. Don't let them girls master you. She has doubt in her head. That is why she is doing what she is doing. She is being lead by the emotion of doubt. But let us know how it goes. This is pretty interesting.

WidowobiW · Answer

You are his friend. If that is the way you have defined the relationship this whole time, then that is what you two are: friends. There was no romance, no sex, nothing to make you a side chick. His girlfriend is mad because she isn’t getting the commitment she wants from him and blaming the first possible person/ opp - you. Ignore her or tell him; but engage with that foolishness overall.

Kayleighjo32 · Answer

i added the opinion no because in reality if you dont know you're his side chick the you are not his side chick. BUT I think he thinks you are! He didn't tell you about his girlfriend or well downplayed their relationship to you in hopes that he could get somewhere. I am a woman with a fair few male friends so speaking from experience- the ones always hanging around you tend to want to bang you!

VianneRoscher · Answer

It's strange he told you his girlfriend is his friends with benefits. I'm thinking you could be a side chick, if he was friends with you, only to break up with his current "girlfriend" and make a move on you. Other than that I don't see how you can be a side chick.

bones_20 · Answer

No, from what you are saying you two are just friends...

wtf636 · Answer

Hard to be a side chick if nothing has happened between you two. Maybe he flirted a bit, but that's different.

Luopio27 · Answer

"Women understand women and they hate each other" You being acused of being a side chick just for having a friendship. Thats not femine like behavior.

Raphaëlle · Answer

You're just his friend but there could be something more there. It's a bit strange that he didn't mention his girlfriend to you.

hsshannah96 · Answer

You’re just his friend  doesn’t look like you’re a side chick to me unless he’s had sex with you

LegendaryIcon · Answer

Basically. If he's got a girlfriend, or someone he's actually fucking, he's just using you in case something happens with the other girl Not cool. you need to drop him

PeterSmith1983 · Answer

How can you be a side chick if you didn't even have sex with him?

boobliker · Answer

if you have known him for long time any how you are not a side any thing your a friend who is a girl.

JohnK123 · Answer

You are a friend and if u didn’t do anything with him that’s not really a side chick

Wise4myage · Answer

No, or he would have tried to make a move on you. His girlfriend probably didn't know about you and jumped to conclusions.

IHateBeingaMan · Answer

what you wrote in number 1 reminds me of something i've always hated but will never change

EaterPeter · Answer

You may want to discuss with him. It's time to bring up who are we to each other topic.

Excel47 · Answer

I said no, because you were not aware that he had a girlfriend and he never had sex with you.

Hangry06 · Answer

Seems like it. Congrats

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