Why does he act uninterested?

[Anonymous]

The guy I like, I know from common friends, is someone who loves to meet and talk to new people both guys and girls.

He has dated a few girls casually in the past but has never been in a serious relationship, and I dont know if he's even looking for one.

But I know for once that I'm much better than the girls he casually dated in the past in the sense I have a lot in common with him and I think we'll get along really well. But somehow, everytime I try talking (only through call/texts, we've never met), he seems closed off, hot and cold and almost disinterested.

Why can't he talk/get to know me like he does with other people (not just with girls or in romantic sense but he loves connecting with people in general)? Even casually?

[Leonharted]

I know nothing about you. You might be pretty, but about as fun to talk to as a rock.

[Asker]

A lot of my friends say I have a very interesting personality. I'm someone who loves deep conversations and like I said we both have a lot in common. I've tried to bring up interesting conversations with him about those things, so I dont think me being boring is the problem.

[Leonharted]

Well, it's pretty clear that something is the problem, because he's not interested in talking to you.

[Asker]

Yes, that's what I'm trying to find out.

[Asker]

He also seems to send quite long texts for the intitial few messages when I text him and then just goes cold.

[Leonharted]

Sounds to me like you might have been boring. I have no idea, though. This is all taking stabs into the dark. Without reading the messages myself, I can't say.

You should ask him. I mean, he already ran off. It's not like there's anything else to ruin.

[Asker]

I can assure I wasn't boring. Had I been, he would've been cold all the time. Not hot and cold. What could be other possible reasons? I'm not sure if I want to ask him.

[Leonharted]

You said something that made him decide he doesn't want to pursue you further.

[Asker]

Maybe. Also, at what point and based on what do guys decide if a girl is just for casual dating or a long term one?

[Leonharted]

I don't casually date, so I'm not qualified to answer that. Before I got married, when I dated, it was with the intention of seeing if they were potentially compatible as a spouse. I view "casual" dating as a waste of time, that doing so would occupy time that could be better spent.

[Avicenna]

I'd hazard a guess that whatever he does with these other women would not be acceptable to your social group, and he knows that.

[LZPanzer]

He sounds like a Fukboy best avoid relationships beyond platonic, unless you fancy feeling used.

[Wise4myage]

Maybe he's just not interested in getting to know you?

[Asker]

Why would that be if he is someone who loves to talk to literally everyone! There's nothing happened to hate me in particular.

[Wise4myage]

You should try asking him.

[Asker]

Okay. Also, at what point and based on what do guys generally decide if a girl is just for casual dating or a long term one?

[Wise4myage]

His level of interests.

[emperor90]

He is trying to flrt with u

[Asker]

How is acting uninterested, flirting?

[emperor90]

Well some guys like to play hard to get

[Asker]

Till the point the other person thinks they aren't interested?