Boyfriend told me I'm suffocating him and that broke my heart?

[Anonymous]

So, we are long distance with my boyfriend and lately I had been feeling kind of neglected. The problem is not that we don't spend time together, but as he is having trouble in life, regarding his job, for example, or his purpose in life, sometimes all our conversations start flowing in that direction. I sit in front of the computer Face timing, hearing, trying to advise... And then, I end up feeling that my emotions and concerns are not taking into account. Don't get me wrong, he asks me about my day or my life, but I don't feel he's really interested in my things, I feel he does so because of courtesy, because he's been talking for too long about his issues. Whenever I complain about that, he shifts that towards me, saying it's me who doesn't open up. But I can't open up when I feel I don't interest him that much. One weekend, I just called him when he was playing games with friends, and told him I'd like him to set times for our meetings, because otherwise I'm making my plans, he's making his, and we don't get time to be together (during the week it's almost impossible because of the time difference). Then he told me I was smothering him. He said he had so many burdens in life and I was being a burden too. However, the night before, when I was about to sleep, he was the one calling and wanting to talk to me, but it seems that whenever I take the initiative to do it, it ends badly. It hurt me to be called a burden because I stayed up many nights hearing about his dreams and ambitions, complaints, frustrations, trying to cheer him up. However, there comes a moment where he always tells me I'm limiting his life or kind of taking time from him that he could be dedicating to something productive. But it's very strange because for moments he can seem really engaged and into me, and other times it seems I annoy him. I reached a point I don't want to engage that much with him so he doesn't lash out at me or hear that I'm time consuming. What should I do?

[_Angelsbaskett]

The best thing you can probably do for yourself is distance yourself, It’s okay when someone vents to you, but when you be listening to them and try to help them in any way possible, and then later on they want to say you are suffocating them, it is not ok. You deserve better and someone who will take your feelings into consideration, he knows the time difference as well but he still did call you , and when you did it he did not like it. Which is not fair , cause at the end of the day you did also lose a bunch of sleep for him. Focus on yourself bbg and do what is best for you❤️

[daisy56]

A relationship should work both ways. I don’t think you’re suffocating him at all, you’re trying your best. I’d literally say the best thing to do right now is to tell him how you feel and see where it goes from there. If he disregards what you say and basically backs you into a corner then it really says a lot about him. Hope everything works out for you!!

[spartan55]

Does your situation have an end date? Meaning one of you is moving to where the other lives?