Why do men fail at loyalty?

Question

Why don't men stay with one woman and tend to cheat all the time?

MrOracle · Accepted Answer

Most men don't do that - but most of the men that women WANT do that. Why? Because they CAN.

While it can't be denied that men would like to be with a very beautiful woman, most men are actually quite realistic about their own social value and what kinds of women they can reasonably expect to get. Most women, however, only want the top men and actually believe they can get one, and so they're all chasing those top 10% of men, and largely ignoring the lower 80% (which is the vast majority of men) completely.

What ends up happening is that those top 10% of men have dozens, if not hundreds of women trying to get with them. This makes those men arrogant and entitled, because if being with one woman becomes a hassle or limitation for them, they can simply replace her with one of the dozens of women waiting in the wings. They have no need to have a commitment, because the women want to be with these guys so much that they'll do anything the guy wants, and the minute she stops, he'll dump her and bring in a new one. Yet... most women STILL go after these very same guys, and still completely ignore the vast majority of men.

By always going for these men, and always being used by these guys and discarded, the women say "all guys are just users" or "men are all disloyal" or "men all cheat." It's not all men - it's the men they are choosing. When men have endless options, most of them are going to exploit that.

A woman who dates a man on or at least close to her own level is probably going to be with a man who doesn't have endless options, and he's FAR more likely to be loyal. But such guys don't impress their friends on IG, and they probably don't travel the world or live in a mansion or drive a $400,000 car, so girls don't want them. They'd rather share a top 10% guy, and that's literally what they do - they go from top 10% guy to top 10% guy, taking her turn with each guy until he's done with her and sends her down the road to the next guy, until she ages out.

How many women actually end up with any of those guys long-term? Very, very few.

Lionman95 · Accepted Answer

I think it depends on their connection to porn, their libido and their view of a relationship, plus at least some women are into guys that are taken.
I think one of the reasons is porn because though guys say its just in their head, it changes there brain and it changes the way guys think about women. Because porn keeps us guys getting horny and we´re more likely to be controlled by such it´s more likely that we cheat because of it.
Another connecting reason is our libido, guys with a higher libido are more likely to think about sex over the day.
The problem with a high libido and porn is that many of us are never taught how to control that urge or how to avoid it.
Watching porn, losing your virginity is at least in some western countries seen as a part of becoming men. Because we don´t know how to fight our urge for sex and control it, we are likely to give into that at some point of our lifes.
Because we live in modern society in a time where sexual open-friendships are encouraged and increased many guys don´t value sex as something that´s only part of a relationship so they might have a hard time understanding why sleeping with other women is such a big deal to their girlfriend.
The last issue is that at least some women enhance their seduction of men when they know that these guys are taken.
Guys as women alike love when someone is interested in them, we also like attention and it catches our attention if a woman shows us more skin than normal. If guy doesn´t know what he could do to "defend" himself against those flirt attacks he will give into that because the wish to get relief that way might be higher than his ability to avoid it.

laurieluvsit · Accepted Answer

In many cases it is because women don't know what to do to maintain that loyalty. There is a guaranteed way to do it, but most women don't or won't. Here's the secret :) ...

Kroberts16 · Accepted Answer

Because everywhere they look there's a flewzie ready and willing to do what they want. They have lots of options so why would they be loyal? Why get tied down when everything they want is available for free.

SenileOldMan · Answer

I tend to think of it as a value vs. temptation thing. If a man doesn't value monogamy, then he'll probably cheat with his first temptation. If he does value it, then he'll find his values tested with temptations. I never had problems with fidelity although I doubt I face the temptations of a Tiger Woods, for example.

But I always valued monogamy. Even as a little kid, I loved those films of guys who fight to protect their families, like a Maximus in Gladiator for a more recent example:

I always thought that's the most beautiful image of what a man should be even as a boy. And I loved pictures like this of the Lovers of Voldaro:

So I'm not sure if my values will hold against all temptations, but I value monogamy a lot.

Oigit · Answer

Some reason women do. A man and woman that fail to stay loyal had zero intentions of being loyal from the start. Unfortunately because people rush into relationship and leave their mind far behind their heart, they miss all the red flags or ignore the ones they are seeing.

Slartybartfast · Answer

Because the way our dating culture and rules are , it's easier for the players to date 20 women then the average guy to date one. She women think because the only men approaching anymore are players that men are all players when they are the exception.

Remember not caring about women and not valuing them makes approaching much easier and the players have the advantage when it's expected than men do the approaching.

PrettyPriya · Answer

I don't think it is fair to generalize men this way. I have been in several relationships and have never been cheated on. Yes, some do. Most don't I would say.

Dchrls78104 · Answer

Three kinds of men often don't stay loyal: 1. The man who believes that 'cars and girls should be changed with time'. 2. The man who is mistreated by his woman.  3. The man with the disloyal woman.

jahaims · Answer

Men and women cheat about the same depending on the age group. In the age range of 18-29 females cheat 11% on average and males cheat 10% on average. People cheat because they are trash. It's not a gender thing.

Anonymous · Answer

Secret garden blood 😳 that sounds like a sociopath nickname.
Anyway men don't fail at loyalty - it's just how the game is. You women put yourself on a too high pedal stool and think you can get any men. And we just show you that it can be done if you don't behave

Anonymous · Answer

Don't generalize. There are still honest men, even if they are a minority.

VikingWarLord · Answer

Monogamy ain't NATURAL Read the book "SEX AT DAWN" by Cacilda Jetha and Christopher Ryan

Paul09 · Answer

I'd never ever do that. I treat people the way I want to be treated. I can say you go for the hot bad boys. No kidding you are gonna get cheated on.

JoyGirl · Answer

You can’t say that. Women do the same thing. It has nothing to do with gender.

vald9inches · Answer

Because like women men are only human and they are not perfect and will make mistakes just like women

jasco · Answer

Why do both sex's fail at being loyal, maybe because they don't want to. Maybe because sex is all they want? Theirs many reasons

Vegasrunner · Answer

I'm curious. It says you're 30 years old. At that age do you really not know the answer to this question?

awkward_author · Answer

Probably for the same reasons women fail at loyalty.

Anonymous · Answer

Promiscuity in women who also have a lot of previous partners doesn't encourage loyalty. Most guys aren't going to make a commitment to the town bicycles -- who are increasing in number.

MrtoddsWildRide · Answer

Seeing as how I didn't cheat and my ex wife did, I would say your premise is flawed.

Waldoe · Answer

basic biology... a woman can only breed once every 9+ months or so... men can breed daily... and try to

Jay3344 · Answer

Not all men do. I hope you find one you like who is loyal.

Anonymous · Answer

Uh oh, someone is butt hurt because she got dumped again. Lol Or are you just bitter because you've hit the wall?

Chthou95 · Answer

Why does a high value man need to be loyal to you? Are you special?

slatyb · Answer

Men? Some do, some don’t. Rather like women.

lrina · Answer

you could say the same about women as well

boggboss · Answer

Because men are human and its part of our nature

Anonymous · Answer

they're asses

888theGreat · Answer

I have never cheated on anyone

Anonymous · Answer

You poor, poor thing.

dudeinohio · Answer

I've never cheated.

Why do men fail at loyalty?

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