Am I responsible?

[Anonymous]

Ever since I glanced over at this guy from across the room from when I was 16 (he was 20 then), he somehow decided to flirt with me whenever he saw me. I took interest in him, but since he then began to watch me from a distance for a whole minute at a time I realised his fixation was becoming too unhealthy and I dropped it.
Though he only sees me occasionally (at parties), he continued this behaviour of watching me as I eat or drink or hides behinds a door and watches me as I walk. This went on for almost 5 years and I couldn't yell out and tell him off since he always stands afar to stare at me.
It's been 2 years since I saw him and a friend told me that he recently got into another relationship. However it turns out that he still uses some indirect mechanism (perhaps coding) to make sure that even the posts/pics he uploads of her (which are visible to the public) are hidden from me. Fb doesn't have this direct feature to hide a public post so he used an indirect mechanism to achieve this. I got concerned so I blocked him to see how he'd react, and he almost immediately got to know I blocked him (by stalking my fb profile) me) and he instantly 'unhid' those posts. Given the whole story, his unhealthy behaviour bothers me and I somehow feel responsible. What can I do?

[spartan55]

You already posted this. So this is either all made up, or you don't have any intention of 'doing anything about it'. Like I said before, it's not like you are just going about your life, moving on from some guy who used to stare at you 2 years ago. You've known of this guy seven years, and from what you say, nothing even close to significant has happened between you. I mean, have you ever even talked to him? Why do you even care about some guy who used to stare at you in the past? You seem to be the one keeping tabs on him, stalking his social media. You can say your friend told you about it, but you took it from there. The FB picture stuff makes no sense. If that really happened then do some research and figure it out. Or just forget about it, because none of it really matters.

[Asker]

Listen, it doesn't matter if you choose to believe it or not but what I'm saying is true and just because you haven't experienced anything like this you would never know how any of this feels. Yes I was into him at one point, but his behaviour got too obsessional and hence I decided to move away from it. I used to see him around at parties before the pandemic and that's where this all this business of him 'watching me from afar' happened. This is just the background for context, this is not my problem anymore.

It's been 2 years since I saw him and I absolutely do not keep tabs of him or check his socials at all whatsoever. My friend told me about this, and that's literally the only time in recent years I went to check out of curiosity. For aforementioned reasons, I got concerned that the whole thing was fishy as I have no clue as to how he did it.

What on earth would I ever get out of making this up to a bunch of strangers on the internet? The problem is very real and I don't know if he's tampering with my profile, hence the reason I am 'now' checking to see how he reacts to what I do on my socials. No-one has still replied on how this guy is able to do this since there's no fb feature which enables this, so as he's using another mechanism, I'm legit worried if he could be tampering with my fb profile. I just want some clarity on that.

Fyi: obviously I've tried researching this online and nothing seems to come up, so I've also decided to ask here.

[Asker]

Also since nothing significant happened between us, yeah that's exactly what I'm saying we only flirted subtly for abit and so it is he who is doing this for 5 years especially after I dropped it. And moreover it is he who is hstill doing the whole fb thing 2 try after that too. I completely moved on from this whole thing ages ago, I just don't want to feel responsible for this and I just want to know how he's able to do this.

[spartan55]

Did you contact Facebook about it?
So he was 'obsessional' because of what... looking at from across the room...😂 😂 Yeah okay...

[Asker]

That's not the point, I was just describing what happened and how it all started. Besides, it wasn't 'only' because I glanced over at him from across the room it was also because I continued flirting with him for some time after that.
Anyway, all of that was just mentioned for background context- I seriously don't know why you're caught up with that. I don't care about him being stalkerish and fixated in the past anymore, I only care about what's happening now. I literally just want answers on whether or not my fb is being tampered with, which is why I keep asking.

[spartan55]

I don't how you flirt with someone without talking to them, but hey whatever.
Weird how you won't just email FB and find out what's up. Instead you keep reposting here, where it doesn't seem like anyone has a solution.

[Asker]

Emailing fb would take awhile and if there's a possibility that he somehow did tamper with my fb page, then he'll be alerted and make it worse, hence I don't want to go that route- it's not that hard to understand.

(Anyway, you can flirt and act flirtatious without talking, it's called non-verbal cues, but that's not the point of all this)

[spartan55]

And you think this will be a quicker solution for you... wow...
Why would he be alerted if you made a fraud inquiry? That's makes no sense.

[Asker]

Because I blocked him to see if he does keep track, and as anticipated he almost immediately got to know that I blocked him and he went back and unhid those posts (i. e reversed what he did), so now I have nothing left as proof.
Even if his profile is reported, he can easily do the same through another account. I just want to know how he did it, so that I can put my mind at rest.

[spartan55]

Lol, yeah good luck with that. You girls never know how to just let something go. It's like a superpower.

[Asker]

First of all you clearly cannot come up with a statement that disproves my right to be concerned as I have answered all your 'queries' on why I'm worried about this. So despite understanding that it is he who is doing all this and that I am merely trying to gain clarity on the issue, you kept trying to blame me to no avail.

Secondly, you are 50 years old and more than double my age, so idek why you insist on just questioning me and trying to prove me wrong if you have nothing valid to contribute.

[spartan55]

I'm just asking questions reasonable people would typically ask about your story.
I'm not sure what age (yours or mine) has to do with any of this? I'm not trying to prove you wrong because this isn't a case of right or wrong. It's a case of wasting your time on something inconsequential. Good luck, hope you find an answer you like.

[Asker]

By the way you were questioning me, you were trying to insinuate I'm the one who's keeping tabs on him and he is innocent.

Besides, I mentioned age because age and priorities are related. Your answer is completely irrelevant as the only reason I'm asking this is to find out how it's done so I become less paranoid. As I mentioned, I tried blocking him to check if he tracks me, and yes he almost immediately got to know that I blocked him and unhid those posts.
It might be inconsequential and I hope it is too. But the very fact that there is no fb feature which allows for this and that he used an indirect mechanism to achieve this has me concerned.

[spartan55]

'Age and priorities are related'... okay... and?
My answer is completely irrelevant to you... again... so what? You want me to rewrite my opinion so it's something you want to hear? That's not how it works. Apparently you've have only lived in fantasy land.
So this whole big deal only happened one time?
Funny how no one else has ever seemed to hear of this. Who knows? 🤷

[Asker]

"'Age and priorities are related'... okay... and?"
-You are 50 and actively still using GaG. Moreover, I'm half ur age but you are so caught up with my question, repetitively analysing the situation to try and prove me wrong, when this doesn't even have anything to do with you.

"My answer is completely irrelevant to you... again... so what? You want me to rewrite my opinion so it's something you want to hear? That's not how it works. Apparently you've have only lived in fantasy land."
- This isn't about saying what I want to hear, this is about you going off about a completely different topic which has no relevance to my question. The question is 'how' he is able to cyberstalk me, and here you are trying to analyse the background context I've given, desperately trying to find faults in me and indicate that I am the one keeping tabs of him while trying to insinuate that he is innocent. asking if some dude likes me an you're not giving me a wake up call by telling me he's not interested.

"So this whole big deal only happened one time?"
- What are you even on about?
Funny how no one else has ever seemed to hear of this. Who knows? 🤷
- Again what are you even on about?

[Asker]

Edit: "asking if some dude likes me an you're not giving me a wake up call by telling me he's not interested" should be striked out as that's in relation to a different response I was giving someone on GaG.

[spartan55]

You said you wouldn't be able to show FB anything because he changed them back. So, if he did it again then you could show them, right? So full of holes...
I'm not trying to prove you wrong... again, this isn't a right or wrong situation.
I'm '50 and actively still using GaG' yeah, you got me... I don't think I'm the only older guy on her... but you would know more than me. I'm 'caught up in' three or four other questions right now besides yours, so I don't know what to tell you.

[Asker]

"You said you wouldn't be able to show FB anything because he changed them back. So, if he did it again then you could show them, right? So full of holes..."
-It is extremely unlikely that he'll hide it again. His purpose was to hide his new relationship (and the pics he took with her) from me, which is what he did. It remained hidden from me for a month until I blocked him. So to understand if he was keeping track of me, I blocked him when he was least suspecting it, and even then he almost immediately got to know that he was blocked and he instantly unhid those photos as to not leave any traces.

Cyberstalking is the hardest to prove as many would never know if someone regularly stalks their profile. Even then people can easily go back and cover up their tracks like what happened here.

I honestly find his behaviour har to believe myself, what do you make of this. And if there is no way to know 'how' he is doing what he is, then can you suggest something that could keep my profile safe incase it is being tampered?

[spartan55]

Change your password again and be sure 2 factor authentication is turned on. I would suggest a password generated by a password manager using at least 20 characters. I use Lastpass and swear by it.

[Asker]

Sure, thanks for the suggestion. I could also temporarily change my name on fb so he doesn't find me :)