Man like fire (follow it with Tim Allen man grunts)!
Seems that when growing up, outdoor meat grilling was for men. As a newlywed, this has not changed. Women may season and otherwise prepare the meats, and could take the meat from the fork, spatula or tongs from the man once cooked, but otherwise it's "by golly keep your mitts off MY grill." My wedding present to my husband was his very own grill, and I hit pay dirt. But now it has taken on a life of its own. He has to accessorize, and is also experimenting with making his own homemade BBQ sauce. I live where BBQ is a blood sport, and he is taking it seriously. I'm not complaining, but I find it fascinating when man meets grill.Apparently man grilling means steaks MUST be cooked with a perfect diamond pattern!
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Thank you all for your responses 😊!
I realize there are no gender roles in cooking in general, or barbecuing in particular. But at least in the Midwest United States, backyard barbecue is more often than not a man’s world, and one of few places where sexism has been left unchallenged. I’m more than happy with my husband’s bromance with his new grill.
Some things just are, and it suits me just fine. I'll just keep enjoying the food.
I'm certainly not against women grilling, and my mother grills sometimes (she's an amazing cook and baker, though she used to be horrible on the grill, but a gas grill and a few tips and she's gotten quite good), but I took over that job when I was 11 or 12. She wanted to learn about 20 years ago, so I would show up early on the weekends to family dinners and give her some pointers.
For the last 25 or 30 years, most of the time when I have friends over, I'm on the grill. It's both a tradition and it's simply that I've had a ton of experience and I can gook just about anything on the grill. Of all the women I've dated, there was only one who was definitely GOOD on a grill. Most of the others might cook a burger occasionally, but weren't confident in their skills and much preferred that I do it (or, maybe, they just preferred not to get smelly from grill smoke). LOL.
When I plan a get-together, I usually have people bringing meat for me to grill, so I might be grilling burgers, chicken, and hot links, or ribs, hot dogs, and flank steak for fajitas, or who knows what. Everyone knows that I'll cook up whatever they bring, but what all my friends really wait for is invites to tri-tip nights. They fight over invites and I've had to cook as many as 3 tri-tip roasts to feed everyone (usually the limit is 2). Add some garlic mashed potatoes and some sides, and it can't be beat!
Tri-tip roast "resting" before slicing.
For those who don't know, the tri-tip roast is a triangular piece of meat that was considered to be not especially desirable, because no one really knew how to cook it. Some Californians started buying them because they were cheap (at the time, in the 80s) and marinating them, and then grilling them, and it's some of the best-tasting meat you've ever had. Many places in California sell tri-tip sandwiches with slices of the roast in a soft bread roll, and it's very common for them to sell out early.
Tri-tip sandwich
The rest of the country can hardly get these roasts, because they've become so popular here, and are so unknown in most of the country, that virtually the entire US supply gets sold in California.
Thanks for your input! You're right, tri-tip roast is out of this world and it's hard to find here. When I can find it, it's often labeled "bottom sirloin tip" here. We have a butcher that will cut it for me, and it's on my husband's to-do list.
It's nice to have access to a butcher, and good that you can get dibs on the roast before someone else gets it! And, yeah, tri-tip is amazing. It can be buttery soft and so full of flavor, especially that "bark" on the outside. Mmmmmmm...
I do 95% of all the cooking... well maybe more like 98% tbh. I use a Weber charcoal grill but it's all new to me still. I am used to cooking in pans, pots, and baking sheets tbh but I'm trying. I've made some mistakes along the way like getting impatient with the charcoal. I'm getting better about it though. But this was like my first week:
Like I said in new to this and this is nowhere close to perfect but I'm getting better as I go and learn how to better deal with the charcoals
Hmmm, I don't think that's a general rule of thumb but I can say my husband always does the grilling while I get whatever salad or sides ready indoors. He is great at grilling and takes great pride in his masterpieces. Most of his guy friends are the 'grillers' at their homes too. I only know of two exceptions- my sister and one girlfriend.
I have no idea what it is... must be some sort of primal urge men have, but, like you, I've observed that nothing makes a guy happier that cooking a perfect steak.
All that said, I enjoy a well cooked steak and I'm perfectly happy to let my guy cook it for me !!!
there's plenty of grill and pitmasters all across Texas, and the nation as well... and as far as I know, this is the actual tradition since BBQ and pits are all across the vast nation of Texas and barely any of them go little rather go big time... there is very much a need to have a pit master, or a grill master
but I have never heard that of being a rule "only men allowed" it is just that, just like there's a head chef at a restaurant, man or woman... there will be a pitmaster, man or woman
now, in the case of my family... both my grandmas were the masters of the kitchen, and there was a whole lot of cooking going on the weekends (family gatherings) and even much more during holidays' family gatherings, while at the same time there was a grill and also a BBQ pit going out outside, and it would be my uncles to run them, so there was no such role as men and women apart... there was just a "system" in place, my grandmas would run the extremely busy kitchen, and my uncles would run the very busy grill and pits
and we all cousins, men and women, my aunts, other uncles could be around to help, but only a few selected ones and only to help... lol
my grandma was particularly fussy about who entered her kitchen territory while she was working around lmao, and I was one of the privileged ones because of my knife skills and attention to detail and CLEANLINESS while at the grill and the pit, I was one of those cousins that would usually set it up ready for starting the fire and I could stay around all the way till late at night, by the smoke and fire
if you want to run a grill or pit the right way then there is a method to it, there's a involved process required, attention to the details is a must, so it very much needs dedication especially when you're first learning, and also when you're experimenting and finding your own particular way and style to run YOUR grill, or your pit, your setup, your method, your barbecue... and that applies to both men and women, lol
Your last paragraph is where my husband is at. Attention to fine details and mastering them is an acquired skill. Things like seasoning, when to slather on the sauce, how to sear a steak, how to get a steak well done (for those who like it that way) without burning it or drying it out - all takes attention to detail and practice :-)
No, I haven't tried anything on the new grill yet. I learned a long time ago not to stifle enthusiasm. He's enjoying himself, and the outcome is delicious. I have a spacious kitchen with lots of counter space, cabinets, and drawers so he has a place dedicated for his grill tools. He's also experimenting with BBQ sauce recipes, so I have spices in our kitchen I've never used before - like mustard powder lol. It's a little late to enter the American Royal (the Mother of All BBQ Contests in KC) this year, but I think the mad scientist has his eyes on next year's.
yeah, lol... people kept asking me for it (my niece), since I do not like to do hot spicy food for myself, but this one is actually nice, and it brings just that subtle hint of habanero (it can be finely ground as well)
Your husband reminds me of myself. I have a charcoal grill, a gas grill and a smoker and I'm always cooking something on them and experimenting with my own spice rubs and BBQ sauces. My favorite is smoked brisket but it has gotten really expensive and hard to find the last couple of years.
I don't think I've ever met a woman who likes to grill or BBQ. I'm sure they exist, I just don't know any. Not sure why there aren't more.
@CarolineW Interesting, I know more men than women who can cook well.
Yes, my husband is just starting but is taking a smart learning approach to it. He absolutely loves it (so much that he's already come up with a two week food plan for meals from the grill, and has been accessorizing with grill tools). I see a Traeger and smoker in our future if this keeps up (not complaining about it either)!
I was actually surprised when my wife- who really doesn't like to cook that much- made a couple of near-perfect burgers a couple of weeks ago. But, usually I get to grill, mostly because she is on her home from: working/shopping/visiting the kids, etc.
BTW- that steak was not cooked on the grill in the picture !
Lol, no that grill definitely looks way too clean to have had any role in cooking that steak (size doesn't look like it matches up either). The pic is a web grab for illustration purposes
I guess it would be classified as a man's job with the same underlined rule that a woman's place is in the kitchen. Or, to broaden the scope of the woman takes care of the house and the dies the yard. I've always done the BBQ because that is my specialty. BBQ and sauces are what I do best. At thus point I should point out that one am a pretty decent cook. The duties of cooking in the house was divided when I was married, by our work schedules not by gender. To be truthful, my $900 outdoor grill was my baby, and I really didn't want anybody else touching it. To me it was the same rule as I never loaned my car or my Giant mountain bike to anyone because things happen and rather their fault or not it would have bothered me.
In reality, cooking itself is a man's job. If you go to the kitchens of restaurants or hotels you will find almost only men. At least 90% of the kitchen staff are men. Women cook out of necessity, men cook out of passion and lately also out of necessity.
I think you're right, and I don't see it changing. My husband has gone all in and it's fascinating to see the interest he's taking in it. He never had opportunities before. To me it's one of those things "some things just are, so leave them be."
It's actually how I got into cooking in my university years. Oddly in spite of all the extra prep and cleanup, I thought a grill was more "man-friendly" somehow; I don't know why. But I grilled so much meat and fish that I sort of made myself sick of it, and so I started expanding to stovetop and pots and pans as well as ovens. Yet grilling a steak always holds a very special place for me.
It's cultural. It touches something very primitive in our culture. In the prehistoric times it was men who hunted big game in packs and they brought back the meat. Cave painting show hunting scenes and then bonding over a cookout. I'm sure women were there but it became a cultural thing.
<< Sees BBQ Grill - Eyes light up.. Must cook meat.. and it's EXACTLY like women who see a new and exclusive shoe shop opening up three doors away from their house! :P
I lean toward yes. However, my East Asian SO charcoal broils whole fish. It's part of her culture and I leave it to her. But steak and chicken are "mine".
That's interesting. My mother is Japanese and I remember her grilling fish and small sprigs of pulled chicken. But yes, it seems steak, chicken, burgers, ribs, brisket, pork chops, and hot dogs are what guys love to grill.
Don't tell my SO that... she does all the grill cooking and doesn't want me anywhere near the grill, except for cleaning it after she's finished cooking.
It's normal in my area for anyone to use a grill, though most don't even have one, it's not a culture thing here, boasting is seen as dumb, and neighbors usually don't even talk to eachother so there isn't any sort of competativeness to it or much of anything.
Not necessarily, we performe together M with F. Some occasions my girlfriend invite only female they do themselves. On BBQ party mostly wear outfits are minimal either M or F, it means showing off shape, skin and outfits. Dancing and Drinking vitality of party.
At least in this part of the country, men and grills is a stereotype that seems to hang on. Not saying women can't and don't, just saying from what I've seen and experienced, men tend to take charge of the grill tasks.
While I enjoy cooking it is funny that grilling/barbieing only seems to be pushed on to men! I have feeling this came about because the women did not what to be the one stuck breathing in hot greasy smoke.
My wife is the one who uses the barbecue grill in our house. She's from the midwest and has a real natural talent at cooking. I am a "citidiot" and failed Toast in when I was in Home Economics in middle school.
No why would gender matter? My grandmother is the best at grilling in our family other than my uncle. But he does a lot hunting and cooking his own game.
It doesn't really matter. I just notice, at least in my neck of the woods and having been out on bird hunts with my dad, the guys are the ones who the overwhelming majority of the time do the grill and any other outdoor cooking.
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